I would like to give a big, giant Thank You to Vault108. For some reason, whenever I feel like not writing this story anymore, I open my e-mail to see that they have posted new reviews. It always makes me smile and brightens my day and makes me want to finish this story. I'm glad still that there are people who love Dez just as much as I do. So, I plan on finishing this story, but I'm not sure when or how long it will take. But trust me, it won't be long in between updates. Thank you again, Vault108. I feel I am talking to a mysterious ghost person.


(Dez)

They took him away from me. Three nights ago, we got into another fight. I didn't do anything, so I don't know why he got so fucking mad. I guess the only reason I can figure is seeing those dog-tags triggered something in his mind. I knocked my head pretty bad, and was pretty disoriented. But I heard him. I heard how his voice changed, felt how he held me close. Like he was protecting me from forces unknown. I liked it. I didn't want him to let me go. For a minute, I felt like I had him back.

He left so fast, I didn't realize he'd gone until J.T was on top of me. His dirty hands and dirtier mouth, trying to kiss me. My mind woke up, woke me up from the deepest sleep I've ever been in. I did what I would usually do in a situation like that. What I've always done, when I was helpless, angry, alone. I called for Charon. I only had enough energy to call him once, but, that was all it took.

When he ripped J.T off, for those few short seconds that felt like hours, I felt like he was back. Like the Charon I knew and loved came back to me. It was a small hope, a distant hope, and a hope soon crushed. Casdin came to the door, and called his name. He stopped just as quickly as he began. J.T had to be taken out on a stretcher by two masked Outcasts. Charon was taken away by Casdin. I haven't seen him since.

It's just been Dogmeat and I, for three nights. I miss Charon. I'm worried about him. No one comes to my door, an Outcast stands outside of it to make sure I don't go anywhere. I haven't even heard his voice. But I assure myself, all is not lost. Because for the past two weeks, I've been secretly gathering information. As much as I can. I've been asking Charon about the different Outcasts. He tells me what he can, since my questions are seemingly harmless. I write everything down. So far, I've figured this out.

The base is the same as it was five years ago. Nothing has been changed or updated, and it's mainly because the Outcasts do not have access or means to gain new technology. The Citadel was blown up, ceasing their attempt and putting a pause on their mission. Anne Marie is still a doctor, and the leading scientist in Fort Independence. There isn't much else about the others. In the basement, are four large vats filled with radiation. The vats tower over Charon, and are filled with a radiation I can feel just by going down the stairs to the basement. It's much stronger than anything else out here. Casdin has a plan. I know this because he has me here, he has Charon under his employment, and he was having him watch me. I figure him having Charon watching me, was just a test to see if he was still loyal to whomever holds his contract. In the end, Casdin won.

But I can't figure what he wants to do with these vats, with keeping me here. Personally, I don't give two flying fucks about Casdin anymore. I don't care about the world or the Outcasts. I did my part. All I want to do now, is get Charon and get out. Kind of hard to do that, though, when you're stuck in this room all the time. Let's not forget though, I am still Dezbe. I still have some tricks up my sleeve.

"Dogmeat?"

I whisper. Since we got here, the first night, I told Dogmeat to stay put. He hasn't attacked anyone, although I'm sure when J.T barged in here he wanted to. I think Dogmeat is smarter than your average dog. He just knows things. Coming over to me, Dogmeat's tongue hangs out of his mouth. He looks at me, and I know he knows.

"I need you to do something for me, boy."

He whimpers and presses his nose into my hand. I pat him on the head, smiling a bit.

"Wait for my command, okay boy?"

He whimpers again, and I stand up from the chair at my desk. Walking over to the door, I pound on it, as hard as I can.

"Hey! Hey!"

I shout, pounding on the door harder and harder. Finally, I hear the familiar click of the lock as the Outcast outside opens it.

"What do you want?"

Shoving my foot in the door, I lean in really close.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"Wait till morning."

"I'll piss myself."

Even though the Outcast wears his helmet, I can tell he doesn't want that. He sighs, and opens the door a bit wider. I've learnt he hates bringing me to the bathroom. Be it for business or showers, I bet he feels it's beneath him n the whole 'job-scale' thing. But right now, I don't give a fuck.

"Alright, come on, make it quick."

When he opens the door a bit more, I take my chance. The position he's in gives me leverage. I'm able to hit the door with my shoulder, tossing it open, and knocking him off balance. His heavy armor throws him off, and he begins to shout. I know it's late, and people are sleeping, but I take my chances.

"Get him, Dogmeat!"

I yell, as I run down the hall. Not a second goes by after my order, do I hear Dogmeat's vicious growling and snapping, and the cries of the Outcast slowly fading away. I know what I'm doing. I know what Casdin will do. Without stopping as I pass his office, where I know Charon hides, where he's keeping him, I pound loudly on the door. It takes two seconds for me to hit it and keep running. I just want to wake Charon, or Casdin. It doesn't matter whom.

The front doors are in front of me. I can make a clean getaway, and Dogmeat will be following soon, but I don't. Instead, I take a sharp left, almost tripping as I rush up the stairs. Five years ago, I found the way to the roof. Knowing Fort Independence is the same as it was back then, I'm able to navigate my way around the sleeping quarters, around Anne Marie's office, and make my way quietly up to the stairs that will take me to the roof. It's a crazy plan, but it's one of those plans so crazy, it'd be impossible not to work.

When I make it to the roof, for the first time in two weeks, and three days, I feel the cool breeze of a chilled desert night. It brushes against my skin, tickles my insides, and makes my hair stand on end. I stop running. I slow, catching my breath, and look up at the stars. They twinkle in the sky, like a tiny billion eyes, watching me from somewhere far, far away. I missed this. Missed seeing the night sky, with the silvery wisps of clouds floating around, with the moon shining bright and big.

Walking over to the edge of the building, I sit and wait. Soon, they'll come for me. I'll be able to see Charon, then. Why am I so sure? Because Casdin knows me. He knows me from five years ago, and knows his Outcasts will have no match against me. Even with their armor and weapons, I can simply jump, and he wants me alive. What for, I haven't figured out. But he does. He'll send Charon up here, knowing that there's a soft spot for him. I'll be able to talk to him then. I don't know what Casdin's done to him, what he's been ordered to do to me. For all I know, Charon could come up here and blow my brains sky-high. But at least I'll be able to see him. At least then, I'll be able to…to touch him one last time.

Patiently, I wait. I sit with my legs dangling over the edge of the building. I'll surely die if I fall or jump. It doesn't bother me. If anyone aside from Charon comes, I know I'll have to. Jump, I mean. Hopefully it won't come to that. I'm hoping my assumptions are right about Casdin, and that he'll send Charon up thinking it'll keep me calm. But you know what they say about assuming. It makes an ass out of you and me.

Pretty soon, I hear the noise of the door behind me opening. I hesitate, before I turn around. Looking up at the starry sky above my head, I think of a time long gone. Where Charon and I would be somewhere out in these barren wastes, looking for something, chasing something. A small fire would be between us, as we sat as far away from one another as we could. Looking back on those moments, I smile. I smile, because it seems like those memories, helped make up who we both are. Or…who Charon was. I hope…I hope it all comes back to him…soon.

The sound of a familiar gun cocking makes a smirk spread on my face. I hear heavy footsteps, as I straighten my back. The wind blows, and I feel the cool metal of a gun barrel being placed on the back of my head.

"Hey there, Charon."

I say without turning around. I wish I had a cigarette right now, but Charon hasn't been around to bring me one. A part that plays into my need to get the hell out of that room.

"My orders are to return you to you room. If you do not comply, I am to kill you."

His voice is thick, monotone. I don't know what Casdin has done and said, but I hope, I hope that it's reversible. Standing up, I turn to face Charon. His gun is raised to me, and I smile at him.

"What are you smiling about?"

He demands, his posture unmoving, his stance intimidating.

"We first met like this. In the Ninth Circle, six years ago. You were ordered to kill me then, too."

"That is a blatant lie."

"Why?"

"I would never disobey an order. If I was ordered to kill you, I would have. Are you moving or do I need to squeeze the trigger?"

I rub my arm, nervous a bit, I think. I still smile at him, a half-smile, but a smile.

"You…you disobeyed Ahzrukhal. You told me later that…that you just couldn't kill me."

"Stop lying."

"I…I'm not."

Charon's eyes narrow from behind the view of his gun. The barrel is aimed at my head, and gently, I take it in my hand. I move it down, to my chest, right over my heart.

"If you're going to kill me, at least make it so I can be buried in one piece."

"I am only squeezing if you do not comply."

I don't think for one second, he won't pull the trigger. I'm not taking that much faith in this leap. The wind blows my hair around, and I feel tears welling up in my eyes. When I was little, I always thought about how my life would play out. About what I'd be. I never expected this. Never expected being at the bad end of a gun, held by the only person in the world I've ever loved. It's cold out, and I shudder.

"You promised you'd never leave me. You…you used to…stay with me, and keep me warm on nights like this."

"Your words mean nothing to me, and my patience is wearing thin."

"It's okay, Charon. It's okay, to feel scared."

"I am not."

"I know what it feels like. To change. To…to fall back into old habits."

"This is not a habit. It is my life."

I see a shooting star behind his head, and in my mind, I make a wish.

"Charon, please listen to me."

"Are you coming?"

"If you wanted to shoot me, you would have by now."

I tell him, calmly, softly. I know this is a long shot. I know that I have no chance, but I want to try. If I die here tonight, it won't be in vain. At least, I'll die knowing I tried. A shot from his gun will kill me, there's no chance of survival.

"…Then you are not coming, and it leaves me no choice."

"You have a choice. You've always had a choice. For six years, six and a half, you've…you've had choices."

"I am choosing to do this, since you are not complying."

"…I love you, Charon. I always have."

And then, and then it just all…goes away.