Certain major characters are not mine, though Lon is mine, among many others. Language and other stuff warning, just to be safe...

--- x x ---

Neverwinter, the Sunken Flagon ---

--- Elondra

It was still gray the morning after our return from Bell's home. It also the first day in what felt like a very long time that we didn't have some kind of social obligation, so I think we were a little slow to get moving in the morning. Cas had returned to bed after his prayers and we slept a while longer, unwilling to move. Or at least I was unwilling.

I expected we'd hear from Sand at some point, as we hadn't seen him in nearly a tenday now. I worried about how he was going to react with Bishop. He'd be sharp and harsh with a bit of wit, even so. We were only partly healed and still hurting. I didn't want to have to deal with that too.

Sparring at the temple was a relief after the seven days of heel to toe hunting. No one there reacted to us or Bishop, so I wasn't sure how widespread the gossip was. Cas and his student did go somewhere in the main part of the temple briefly, maybe for a chat with some priests, while Bishop and I finished arranging the hall for our sparring.

We were still alone, with only Karnwyr, when we finished moving the equipment around, Bishop asked, "Unarmed?" with a carefully blank face.

I had to take a breath to quell my first reaction, and beat it down with a mental stick. Then I managed to say, "I don't think that's a very good idea right now."

His face bleaker, he added, "That might be a good thing, as it'll sharpen your reactions as you still play too nice, like Cas."

Reaching over to hug him, his arms carefully went around me too. I couldn't meet his eyes.

"You've been honest about this crap, and I have to return that by saying it is so very not a good idea. I still have coals of anger, and I won't stop when I should," I said

A ghost of a snort he said into my hair, "You can try, I deserve it anyway."

Turning my head to look into his eyes, I told him after a moment of gathering my thoughts, "No, there's so many things wrong with that idea. Answering a wrong like that doesn't make it right. No one has the right to beat on you. Sparring is one thing, but this would become just violence and abuse then. I'll become something ugly if I get to enjoy it. There's probably more, but it's all just wrong."

Cas spoke up, having returned unnoticed by me, "That kind of violence won't heal anything. Our trust will take longer to regrow than one fight."

I could feel Bishop's sigh, even if it was a silent one.

"Using weapons makes it somehow a little less personal," I said with only a half smile. "Not that I'm completely sure, so nothing too tricky today as I want to be careful."

He pulled me closer for a moment, and in a bare whisper he said, "I'm sorry..."

"Me, too," I whispered back, before we separated to begin sparring with the practice weapons around us.

Eldride seemed to be the only one fighting as well as normal. I was second guessing myself almost as much as when I was planning that prank for the tournament. Cas was almost blank, he was so controlled. Bishop was so bleak. I just wanted it to stop.

When we gave up for the day, Bishop said, "I think I should look for the scroll again today. Do you want to...?" Here he paused, seeming unsure what to say, so rare for him usually.

Cas said, "No, this is your quest, both for the scroll and for being true. If we watch you that much, neither you nor we will know if you are able to do this."

"If you're really not ready, I'll come and keep you company," I said, thinking about how bad he looked.

A long silence greeted that while Eldride returned equipment to the usual locations.

Then barking a laugh, Bishop said, "Don't really want a nursemaid that much, though you're a real pretty one." Then running his fingers through my hair, he gave me a quick and light kiss on the cheek before leaving.

Finishing the cleanup with Cas and his squire didn't take very long.

When we were done Cas said in a more normal voice, "My student will be helping with preparations for a ceremony in a few days, so we're free for the afternoon."

Eldride nodded, bowed, and left us. The hall seemed to echo when Cas and I left as well. Cas made sure the door was latched and we left the Hall of Justice into the gray day.

It was cooler outside and it started to rain, another cold and clammy rain as we hurried back to the Flagon. It was a reminder that winter was coming, and maybe I should see later if Pameran planned for some warmer, snobby cloaks for us. The breeze got stronger, briskly blowing at our cloaks as we walked.

As we went through a drifted pile of leaves near the Flagon, I kicked some up into the air, some got stuck in our clothing. One orange leaf was standing out behind Cas's ear and I had to laugh. I'd always liked autumn. Colors and breezes and all the changes, it was the only season I felt a shadow of Daeghun's love of nature, despite his unstated hopes that I'd follow nature as he did. We both knew I'd not been cut out to be a farmer, but I really hadn't been wanting to be in a militia. Funny how that turned out.

I snatched the leaf from its place in his hair before the wind could do it and I looked at Cas with a small grin. The rain got a little heavier, more than the near mist it started with, and we hurried on our way at a run.

After we'd eaten something from my dour uncle, our damp clothing got to be annoying so we went up to our room to find some drier clothing. Someone, Pameran or my uncle, had deposited more papers from either Cormick or the Keep on the table for me. With a sigh, I settled on our new bench to read them, balancing the papers on the fabric arm beside me instead putting on fresh outer clothing for a bit while I dried in the room's warmth. I really didn't like using more clothing or towels on a whim. While I wasn't washing them anymore, I still felt guilty if I made Pameran do more if I was being careless.

Cas had a small book in his hand when he sat down beside me. One of his new set, and he was nearly humming as he began to read.

I turned and leaned back against him, glad for his warmth, and started reading Cormick's comments on his progress. His pithy comments on some of the interviews with the less... able Greycloaks were funny, reminding me a bit of the way Tarmas used to talk. I ended up snickering at some of the stupid answers he had harvested during his investigation.

With Cas turning a page once in every so often, it was pleasant like this. The window rattled a little in the breeze once in a while as we read.

The second note was briefer, from Khelgar that Elanee and my father had located the skeleton at a place that matched Cas's vision. That was good to know, though even as a metaphor it would have been a good warning. The next time I looked up, Cas had put his book aside and was looking over my shoulder at Khelgar's note as well.

"Not that I doubted," I admitted, "but I am glad we have confirmation that Lather is really, really gone."

"True, my lady, and now he is reaping the afterlife he was so diligent in seeking," Cas said with more than a little satisfaction.

Then I noticed that he was rubbing my back a little, with the arm he'd had around me. He'd been doing this for a time, too. Pretty sneaky for my paladin, and I had to grin.

"I did not wish to distract you too much," he allowed with a small smile.

Stretching up to kiss his chin, I told him, "I can distract myself very well, you know."

"Then if you will, my lady?" Cas said, picking me up and setting us down so were were straddling the bench.

I leaned forward to move the papers to the floor, even as he began to massage my back. It felt so good, I was wondering if I was going to become a puddle on the burgundy fabric.

That was my last thought for some time, but I didn't know how long it was. Then I realized my husband was kissing up along the middle, making me stretch like a cat, and definitely waking me again.

When he moved towards my shoulder I had to turn towards him and ask, "Kiss me, Casavir, please."

"I am doing that, my lady," he said with a smile I could hear.

I may have growled something incoherent, but I twisted around for a proper kiss. We were both smiling after a few of those.

"Fine," I added, "turn around."

Perhaps a little surprised, Cas asked, "My lady?"

With a small glare that probably didn't fit my smile, I explained, "It's not one way, remember? You'd better be up on the pedestal with me." Tracing his jaw, I added what I hoped would help, "Anyway, it's not fair if I can't enjoy giving you a backrub too."

Casavir smiled and we did just that, before making our way back to the bed.

--- x x ---

--- Bishop

Waking up back in the Flagon, it was the first time in a long time that I really hated coming back into Neverwinter. And then I realized that the last time was when I came back alone after that battle when Lon had reason to hate me. The parallels sucked.

It was still a little early, and I could feel when Cas rose to begin his prayers. Lon didn't even stir. I moved a little closer, so glad I hadn't lost this. I was hoping we would get back to the way it was, but I could already hold her. My mate still trusted me, at least a little.

We later went to spar at Cas's hall, and I wanted more than just to hold her. Or maybe I hoped she'd feel better, or I would, if she'd take some kind of revenge for what I did. I'd heal injuries much faster than this.

But I was wrong in that she was still angry with me, a simmering rage briefly in her eyes that I'd remembered feeling once in a while. At me. That hurt more than almost anything she could have done in a wrestling bout.

We did spar, but it wasn't any fun.

Restless, I decided it was time to check the temples again for that healing scroll. It was an innocent enough task, and I was very ambivalent when I asked Lon if she'd want to come along. I wanted her company so badly, but I didn't want to be always guarded.

Not that upset when the answer was no, I left for the temple to Lathander, not sure if even that god would grant me another chance, even if I was the kind to ask him. I found the priestess who sold potions and blessed candles easily enough. I could have bought dozens of either, but more powerful scrolls? No, sir, these are all I have to sell.

She was sunny and perky, for all of her dark complexion, but she didn't even suggest that I could see a different priest. And so damn polite for all she was refusing me any help or hope of it. Her robes were also demurely arranged, I couldn't tell if it was habitual or an effect of any rumors.

Leaving, I decided to try Oghma's temple. Maybe Cormick's wife might be persuaded to help me.

There, the older and bearded priest told me she was unavailable, and she could not be interrupted in her candlemaking unless this was an emergency. His tone of voice said he was already sure I didn't have an emergency. It was already too late to fake up an injury.

When I asked him about purchasing a scroll, I got even less cooperation. I left, very pissed.

Karnwyr was laughing at my mutterings, and it took a little while in the park to calm down again.

It wasn't too late, and I wanted to try to have something to show for my time, so I decided to visit one more temple today. The one for Chauntea wasn't that far, and more familiar because of that stupid harvest ball, the real beginning of all the crap. So I was a little ticked again even as I entered.

This temple had more people than the last one, and I finally got to speak to a priestess, dressed all in golds and reddish browns that even went with her hair. She was bright against the dull browns of the walls when she stood briefly at her desk to greet me. She was not a minor priestess this time, which might be a good sign for my getting a scroll.

In a carefully neutral voice she told me, "The Highharvestmistress is not available to assist you with whatever trouble you're trying to get out of, 'my lord.'

I shook my head, because of a sudden headache, and I said with gritted teeth, "Look, whoever you are, I'm not trying to evade anything..."

Narrowing her eyes and baring her teeth, she said gruffly, "You can call me Trueseed Abundance, you scruffy little snot."

Waving a fist, only a little, at waist level, I told her in a growl, "I am not scruffy, or little. You think I wear this crap because I like it? If I was trying to get away from any of the stupid things I've done, do you really think I'd be here, Seedy?" That was a mild insult, considering how annoyed I was and her comments.

"You can't pretend you're not a sleazy blot on the city, let alone the wife you've been betraying for how long now?" she shot back.

I could smell ash and wheat, and my headache was getting to be almost blinding. Despite that, I managed to say evenly through my anger, "I screwed up once, and her knowing hurts more than a sword in my gut, you harpy. All I want is to try to get back..."

Almost shouting, the priestess interrupted me, "You stinking little toad! I have a good mind to lay the charges myself against you..."

Shouting through the spike in my head, I yelled, "I don't care what you think, Morry! You don't know everything, even if you think you do!"

Then I just stopped, wondering at what I'd just said, even if my head was now pounding.

She just stopped and looked at me. Finally, she asked, still angrily, "What did you just say?"

I was shaking my head, even as some other priestess knocked on the door and asked her if there was a problem. The other priestess left after a few words I didn't even hear through the pounding.

Finally I said, "I don't know. I don't know where that came from." Rubbing my head, I hoped this wasn't some kind of magical effect on me. I looked at the pup, but he wasn't upset like he'd been other times I was being stupid.

"Why did you call me Morry?" she asked a little more calmly.

"I really don't know why," I repeated.

Karnwyr came over to stand next to me, and I knelt to run my fingers through his fur. Then I just put my arms around him, while I concentrated on trying to ignore the headache. I doubted I could cast a healing spell right now.

In a quieter voice she asked, "Who's your god, ranger?"

"Why do you all feel you need to know?" I asked, suddenly exhausted. "It's my soul anyway. Or are you all hoping I'll convert without pissing off some other god? It's Shiallia, and you can go fuck off now."

I stood again, and decided playing nice with Nevalle was less annoying than dealing with the temples anymore.

Standing herself, the priestess waved a hand, and said majestically, "Stay, and tell me why you use a name I haven't heard in almost twenty years."

Growling my anger, "I don't remember twenty years ago! That was lost in the pit of Luskan benevolence!"

Turning to go, the pup remained sitting.

"Wait, please. How old are you?" she asked a bit more politely.

I answered, "Twenty-eight, or maybe twenty-nine." Even as I asked, --Karnwyr, aren't you coming with me? I was hoping he wasn't mad at me like everyone else was.

How old are puppies in a litter? The smells... Was all he said back.

The priestess was saying something else, but I wasn't listening this time, and changed into a wolf form. There was a familiarity to her scent, but it reminded me of being with Lon and I howled a moment for missing being with her.

More noise from the doorway, but no one was attacking so I howled again because it helped.

A nip from Karnwyr finally stopped me. That's your scent you leave on your mate, silly pup. The farmer smells like that.

Looking back and forth from Karnwyr to the priestess, I took a deeper breath of the workroom, and I could smell the differences better. But I still wanted to howl.

Changing back to my own form, the headache was back again, too.

"...a wide rumor that you were a trained Luskan assassin. Why don't you know how old you are if they raised you in some kind of killer pack?" the priestess asked, almost calmly.

Rubbing my head, I admitted, "Wasn't born in that hell... some pokey village that I don't remember much."

"Do you remember Rillhordt?" she asked carefully.

A snort and I said, "No, all I remember is Bertbert and a little girl from the inn..." my headache was fading a little, and I added, more suspiciously, "Why'd you ask that name? All I know is from old census records we found."

"Because my brother, Rillhordt, was never found. Divinations I cast later said he lived," the priestess said sadly. "I never thought of Luskan."

"I guess that would make you Morrary," I said, sitting down again.

"You really don't remember?" she asked, without condemnation this time.

Opening my clenched fist, I looked at my hand and said, "I could write what I truly remember about that village on the palm of my hand. They tell you something long enough and you have to believe it, in that pit. Only recently did my wife and the paladin figure out where I'd been lied to."

"I am sorry you grew up there, and that makes some more things in the rumors about you more understandable. But did you do these betrayals at some Luskan bidding, at the keep or at the cheap inn?"

"No," I said, shaking my head, "Those screwups were long after I had taken up hunting Luskans. I want that scroll to try to fix one of the people hurt at the keep. And my more recent screwup... I regret as much, but can't fix like that. I hope I can. Please let me buy that healing scroll."

Nodding carefully, Trueseed Morrary, told me neutrally, "I will consider taking this to the Highharvestmistress."

Not quite the way, I'd hoped to find the last of my family, but I couldn't appreciate the humor just now.

Leaving her, I flew back to the Flagon shortly before the early sunset. Up in our room, Lon and Cas were asleep, and I could smell how. But that didn't matter as much as there was room for me, and as I curled up with Lon along my back, she woke enough to put her arms around me.

--- x ---

A/N: Thanks to my beta reader, who's been kind enough to point out some things. Any typos that remain are not intentional...Reviews or even a PM to let me know what you think would be very appreciated.