Chapter Fifty Four
Wow, kissing Pretty Boy was even better than I remembered. There was a good chance I would let him keep kissing me forever if it were possible. It was also a good excuse to put off the talk I knew we still needed to have. I really didn't want to ruin our moment. There was no doubt in my mind that as soon as we pulled apart I would ambush him with questions and start demanding answers. It sucked, but it was reality. So, I let his lips linger on mine and chose to shut out these damn thoughts that kept trying to put a damper on my bliss.
Every head turned toward us when Edward opened the passenger side door of his car and grabbed my hand to help me out. The school parking lot suddenly felt way too crowded. I should have been used to being the center of attention, but I didn't think I ever would. After we finally stopped kissing long enough to talk that night, I discovered Pretty Boy had been through a lot the past few weeks. He had pushed himself, trying to follow his therapist's advice and finally truly heal. What he hadn't expected was the ache he felt when he watched me walk away or how hard it had been to hear his therapist tell him he'd made the right decision. He'd told me nothing had ever felt so wrong in all his life. That confession had definitely made me smile and my heart skip a beat. Then I started worrying that he was going to lose any headway he'd made, but he promised me that the only way I could hinder his progress would be if I pushed him away, at least before giving him a chance to make things right.
After our first kiss in weeks, I was extremely hesitant. I was torn between pushing him away before this progressed into something more and risking further heartache if I allowed him back into my life only to have him leave it again. All thoughts of being able to stay away from him evaporated as soon as he pulled me back in for a second kiss.
He later admitted to noticing the hesitancy in my eyes and becoming worried I was too hurt to give our relationship another try. I explained that I was nervous. My one other experience with a boy hadn't exactly ended well. I also confessed my fear that I felt more for him than he did for me. That was when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Really, there was no hope of me ever saying no to that. We still had so much to talk about, but I was positive we could move past all the misunderstandings and miscommunications we had experienced over the past few weeks as long as we were open and honest with each other. Nothing good ever came easy, right? Plus, he told me I was worth whatever obstacles he had to conquer in order to be with me. That line caused me to bury my head in his chest so he couldn't see the totally smitten expression on my face. Yeah, I was doomed before I ever even had a chance. And I was absolutely okay with that.
Rose came and sat on top of my desk as soon as we made it to our first period class. She had a smug I-told-you-so look on her face. I just shook my head at her and readied myself as best as I could.
"You know, gloating isn't attractive." I said, deciding to launch a pre-emptive strike. Speaking first was the only way I'd get a word in edgewise.
"Oh, come on, Bella." She said my name in a sing-song fashion that made me cringe. This was going to be worse than I thought.
"Rose, leave her be, okay? Don't torment Bella because it took me so long to get my head of my ass." Pretty Boy's words shocked the hell out of me.
"Ed, I'm just teasing you two. You did what you had to do, and I respect that. I'm sure Bella does too, don't ya, Bella-B?" Rose retorted, looking at her nails as if she didn't feel bad for upsetting her friend. Her eyes told another story, however. I opted not to call her on it, although I did store it away for later use, just in case.
"I was stupid, and I'll never forgive myself for the way I treated you, Bella." He turned to me with glassy eyes, and I was at a loss as to what to say or do.
Yes, he did hurt me. I was sad when he pushed me away, but we needed to work it out together without an audience. I didn't want him to go through the rest of the day feeling like he did, though.
"Pretty Boy, we'll talk about this later. You're not stupid, and I know your reasons were valid, or at least, you thought they were at the time. Now, let's stop moping about things we can't change and enjoy the rest of the day, okay?" I was proud of myself in that moment. I said what I wanted to say, and my tone was calm but strong.
Both Rose and Edward nodded in response with wide-eyes. I couldn't help laughing at their reactions. Maybe having the time to think and evaluate my life had been a good thing. Maybe Pretty Boy wasn't the only one who needed a breather. There was also a good chance that some of my newfound confidence came from the fact that he was sitting beside me with his hand clasped tightly in mine despite the gap of the aisle between us. He ignored the teacher's glare when she noticed and spent the entire hour watching me. I should've felt self-conscious. That would have been my typical reaction. But something had changed, and I felt nothing but giddy under his appraisal. His wide smile didn't hurt either.
When the bell rang, Edward and I walked out of class with matching smiles on our faces.
Disclaimer: I double checked my birth certificate, and sure enough, I'm not SM...
A/N: Sorry, I know this one is a few days late. It just didn't want to fit together right, and I didn't want to post it until it did. We really are close to the end. I promise this time! I'm thinking one or two more chapters and then an epilogue to finish this.
Thanks for sticking with me and these two crazy kids :-)
Writtenbyabdex deserves a vacation for all her hard work and help here! Thanks, sugar bear ;-)
See ya soon!
~SP
