Some children aren't born as children, not in the true sense. They are unable to ever know the carefree and ignorant bliss that all children enjoy as they place the burdens of their existence on their parents. Sean is easily in this category having never known or understood anything but the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Sean's POV
Dean was gone, literally ripped away from Sam and me as we stood helplessly watching. Now Sam was off on a suicide mission as I watched Bobby try to drink himself to death. My world had never been stable, but now it had crumpled into a heap and despite my best efforts there hadn't been a damn thing I had found that could help.
There was no reason that Dean should have slipped through my fingers, I should have been able to stop it, but as his time stretched out before him in hell, I could only feel his pain from afar.
I had slowly began to figure out my past history and what a long storied one it was. It came to me in bits and pieces as I was ready and able to accept it. It was also one that I could never share, at least not anytime soon.
I should have been powerful enough to stop the deal, to reach out to someone who could help, but I had failed on every level. What had I done wrong or better yet who had I wronged? Were my recent memories wrong, was I all wrong? Was I not worthy of my past? All I seemed to have were questions with absolutely no answers. I had one play left and Dean's very survival depended on it. Was I worthy? Absolutely not, but this wasn't about me anymore.
