I fall back into the armchair, exhaling as I drop my head into my hands. Maybe I can put Harvard off for another year... I hate that Mom is this upset. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say.

"I'm going out," I mutter.

"Honey," Dad says quietly; miserably.

"I'll be back," I say tiredly. "Gimme an hour or two."

Still wearing sweats, I grab my car keys from the bowl by the door and leave.


Last night I was totally against this, but right now I don't know who else to talk to without being treated like a kid, which is what Addison would do; and Amelia's too far away. I pull up to Violet and Pete's house.

Violet answers the door, still in pyjamas herself.

"Hey you," she smiles brightly.

"Hey," I reply, smiling.

"Mmm," she hums, placing a hand on my back and gently pushing me inside. "I know that face. Come on."

She leads us out to the back deck, stopping in the kitchen for a couple cans of orange juice.

"Pete and Lucas are at the park," she says, putting the cans on the table between us.

I sigh, sitting down.

She doesn't ask me what's wrong, or tell me to start talking. She just waits. I chew my lip, meet her eyes for a second and then look down at my fingernails; the purple polish is chipped and badly needs to be removed.

"I got into Harvard," I say quietly.

When I glance up at her, her face is ecstatic. Eyes wide and mouth open.

"Kati!" she cries, leaning over and hugging me. "That's fantastic! Congratulations!"

Her happiness is contagious and makes me smile.

"When do you transfer?" she asks, still smiling.

"September," I reply. "I'm finishing this year, and then going."

"Wow," she shakes her had. "Honey, that's incredible. I'm so proud of you. I mean, not that I'm surprised, but y'know."

I smile, but it's short-lived and I start chewing my lip again.

"How pissed is your mom?" she asks after a moment.

I exhale into a laugh, nodding. "Beyond."

She squeezes my hand in hers.

"She says I can't go," I say.

"She'll come around," Violet replies. "The hormones coursing through her right now are making her crazy. Trust me, I know. When I was pregnant with Lucas, I was nuts. I see it now, but at the time, it's hard to separate hormones from genuine feelings. Plus, you've been her only kid. She probably just thought you'd always be here."

"Well, so did I," I shrug. "When college applications started, I had just always planned to go to Berkeley or UCLA. I mean, I thought it would be cool to try for a Harvard or Yale or something, I just didn't…think about it a lot."

"It's okay to want to try something new like this," she tells me.

"I know," I say. "I mean, I think I do, but then this happens with Mom…it's literally been two days of fighting."

She looks at me sadly.

"Dad looked like a mixture of proud and upset, but Mom just looked furious, when I told them. She immediately shut down the idea and hasn't budged on it. And I told her that I'm going. It's my decision, and I'm going. And she just keeps telling me I can't go, and we were yelling and that hardly ever happens, and then I yelled at her to just let me go, and she got so upset. She started crying and said that she can't, and she ran upstairs."

"Oh, honey," she squeezes my hand. "I'm sorry."

I sigh.

"Is it selfish? To want to go?" I ask, my forehead creased in permanent frustration.

"No," Violet replies, without missing a beat. "You're right, it's your decision. It's your future. Charlotte having a hard time with it doesn't mean that it's wrong. Actually, the fact that she's this upset means that she knows you're going. You know what she's like; a Mama Bear if anyone ever was one. It's gonna be hard for her to adjust. Hell, it'll be hard for all of us to adjust."

"It's not like I want her to feel like this," I say quietly. "I only want to go because it's Harvard. Because I want to be an amazing doctor, and I just feel like Harvard is where I should be."

"And that's fair," Violet says gently. "She's just gonna need some more time to deal with it."

I take a deep breath, wanting the heavy feeling in my chest to dissipate.

"Trust me," she squeezes my hand again. "It'll be okay. It's just gonna take some time."


As I drive back home, I think about what she said. That Mom is so upset because she knows I'm going. That she's telling me no, in hopes of me changing my mind. I hate that she's upset, but I hate that she's making it hard for me to even enjoy being accepted to Harvard at all.

At home, Dad comes in from the backyard as I'm taking off my shoes.

"Hey," he says, with a small smile.

"Hey," I reply quietly.

He comes and hugs me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," I reply shortly. "Is she?"

"She's just gonna need some time with this one, sweetie," he says. "We both are."

I nod slowly.

"It doesn't mean we aren't proud of you, honey," he presses. "We are so incredibly proud of you. You could get into any school you wanted. I guess we just figured UCLA was where you'd stay."

"So did I," I say quietly. "I didn't plan this. I thought it was a long shot. There are probably like a million other people who applied at the same time."

"There's only one you," he says, kissing my forehead. "We love you. You know that. We love you more than anything."

"Well, wanting to go to Harvard doesn't mean I don't love you guys, too."

"I know."

"So, what? I just walk on egg shells until she stops flipping out?"

"No, you two just need to talk. Maybe one-on-one. Y'know you two have always been really close, and that mother-daughter bond is vital to your mom. If you asked her 20 years ago she never would have believed she'd have a baby, let alone a daughter like you. You're the most important thing to her."

"And what about this new baby?" I ask. "Is he or she going to be any less important?"

"Of course not," he answers.

"Exactly," I say. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy for any of us. But I'm going to have school, and you guys will have the baby, and we'll all be a little distracted. Just enough to make it hurt a little less."

He looks at me sadly.

"I can't live my life for other people," I say. "That doesn't mean you guys aren't the most important people in my life. This decision, as selfish as it sounds, isn't about anyone else but me."

He looks miserable, and he just wraps his arms around me and hugs me. "It's not selfish, Kati. Not at all."


"There are some pretty nice places near Harvard, actually," Axel says, as we lay on our stomachs, looking at his laptop screen.

"You're so sure about all of this...what if it doesn't all work out? And besides, have you even mentioned this to your parents?" I ask, as he scrolls down the screen.

"Of course," he replies. "My mom mailed my application for me."

I stare at him.

"What?"

He grins, stilling looking at the computer.

"What, you think I'm not Harvard material?"

"Oh yeah," I roll my eyes. "You can build computers and make your own video games and correct science teachers in front of their classes, but Harvard? Nah."

He tickles my ribs and I jerk away, laughing.

After a moment he looks at me.

"Would it be so bad if I went too?" he asks, his green eyes glittering.

"No," I reply. "I just wouldn't expect you to uproot your entire life and move to Massachusetts."

His mouth curves into a small smile, and he leans over and kisses me slowly.

"I'd follow you anywhere," he says quietly, his forehead pressed against mine.

My chest flutters and I smile at him, running my fingers down the smooth, chocolatey skin of his cheek. He kisses me again.

"Ew!" we hear.

We look up to see Allegra, Axel's 10-year-old sister, in the doorway.

"What's up, Al?" Axel chuckles.

"Is Kati staying for dinner?"

"No can do, Legs," I sigh, kissing Axel and rolling off the bed. "I've gotta get going."

I pull my hoodie on and zip it up, as Axel gets off the bed.

He comes and kisses me again.

"Love you," he murmurs.

"Love you," I smile against his lips.

"Gross," Allegra mutters.

I grab her in a tight hug and kiss her cheek, before Axel swings her up over his shoulder.

"Bye guys," I laugh, heading for the door.

I can hear Allegra laughing as I close the door and head for my car.

I'm not shocked that Axel applied to Harvard. I mean, when I got that acceptance letter and thought about him, my stomach dropped. I love him. I don't want to leave him. I don't want to leave anybody. But I wasn't going to be so selfish as to beg him to come with me. His entire family is here, with mine.

When I get home, Mom's asleep on the couch and there's a note from Dad saying he got called in to the hospital.

Mom's laptop is dangerously close to sliding off the couch, so I creep over to move it onto the side table. When I look at the screen, I stop.

She's been looking at a real estate website…for Cambridge.