ROLLERCOASTER
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The Point of No Return
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Two
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'Data?'
'Leave me alone.' The android didn't so much as look up from his computer terminal.
Tasha didn't leave him alone. She shuffled a little further into the cybernetics lab where he was studying.
'I know you must be feeling pretty crummy right now. You blame yourself for what happened.'
'I should have destroyed the emotion chip during the year in which I had the opportunity,' muttered Data, more to himself than Tasha. 'I should never have attempted to activate it – I should have known from before that I would not be able to manage them adequately.'
'You need to stop beating yourself up over this,' Tasha continued. 'You need to be able to focus.'
Data stared up at her. 'Focus? Focus?!?' He looked back down again, shaking his head in disbelief. '"Focus"…'
'I can see that the guilt is consuming you, Data. If you let it overwhelm you, who knows what more damage could be done.'
The android looked up again, sharply. 'The damage has already been done! Geordi is gone. The prisoner of Klingons. Klingons, Tasha! Can you imagine what they will do to him? And I could have easily overpowered Soran and prevented this entire situation, but I did not, because I was afraid. So how can you possibly suggest that by denying my guilt, disaster can be averted? What else can possibly go wrong?'
'Data, calm down. You don't want to malfunction again'
'I cannot calm down, because I have already malfunctioned! The overload I experienced on the Amargosa Observatory means that I cannot stop or remove these emotions. I have just spent the last seventy eight minutes in this laboratory attempting to discover some way of deactiving the fused chip, and I have found nothing, nothing, nothing!'
He punctuated the final "nothing" by throwing a PADD across the lab. It whistled past Tasha's head and out of the open door without losing any of its considerable momentum; finally coming to rest by smashing into the wall of the corridor beyond where it became embedded, fizzing and useless. Data blinked at the wrecked piece of equipment for a moment before sinking his head into his clawed hands in frustration.
'You can't go on like this, Data.'
'I am aware of that.'
'What if you send yourself into cascade failure?'
'Then,' Data told his hands, 'perhaps that would be all that I deserved.'
Tasha took a few more steps towards him, smiling a little at his flirtation with melodrama. 'Well, now you're just being stupid.'
'I am not stupid! Geordi is either dead already or soon to die, all because of me…'
'Soran wouldn't bother taking a hostage just to kill him,' Tasha interrupted. 'We're all doing our utmost to find Geordi and get him back, and I don't know about you, but I happen to have a lot of faith in this crew's ability when it comes to daring rescues. But if we're to do our best for Geordi, we all have to lock away our feelings about this problem and concentrate on the task in hand.'
'Lieutenant Commander Yar advising me to keep my emotional outbursts in check for the benefit of my duties,' muttered Data. 'How ironic.'
Tasha took another step towards him. 'What are you implying, Data?'
'You know very well what I am implying.'
'Look, judge me on my private life as much as you please, but bear in mind that I am a fellow Officer, and a Professional…'
'I am certain that Professionals do not weep anywhere near as often as you do.'
'So I've shed the odd tear when I've been particularly upset – so what? It doesn't affect my work. Not that you'd understand…'
'And why would that be?'
Tasha could tell from the android's tone that he was itching for an argument. She knew, deep down, that she should have walked away, but by that point she was too riled up to back off.
'You're acting like you're the first person to ever be in distress,' she replied, her voice raising in volume, 'like there's no way anybody can possibly console you because your pain is so special, but it isn't. Everybody suffers; everybody has their cross to bear. And if I cry from time to time, well then after what I went through on Turkana, can you blame me?'
'Turkana, Turkana, Turkana,' Data spat, getting to his feet. 'Is there anything in your life, any flaw in your character, that you cannot attribute to Turkana City?'
'I went through Hell,' Tasha shouted back at him. 'I experienced miseries that you can't imagine…'
'But are they beyond your imagination, Tasha? After you fabricated the death of your sister, how can I truly know which of your tales of woe are genuine?'
'And we're back to lying about Ishara again,' Tasha cried, exasperated. 'You know what – I'm through apologising for things that I've already said I'm sorry for a hundred times over…'
'That is a wild exaggeration. You have apologised for lying to me about your sister on only nine separate occasions…'
'That's more than enough!'
'But it is not a hundred!'
'So now you're going to be an oversensitive jerk as well as the pedantic number-cruncher you've always been?'
'I am not pedantic!'
'Well, I'm not unprofessional! And I'm not a liar. I'm your colleague and your friend, or at least I'm supposed to be – why have you decided to hold such a grudge against me? If it was me that had been taken by the Klingons, would you be worrying about my wellbeing and giving Geordi the 3rd degree?'
'Do not dare!' Data and Tasha were practically nose-to-nose by now, although they could probably have been able to hear one another from several rooms away. 'Do not dare to belittle the peril that I have placed him in in order to further your own agenda.'
'I don't have an agenda.'
'Then why are you even here?'
'Why, indeed?' Fumed Tasha. 'Good question. Maybe I should just go.'
'Fine.'
'Ditto.'
Tasha didn't move. Neither did Data.
'Go, then.'
'I'm going!' Tasha took a step backwards, towards the door. 'Fuck you.'
Data darted towards her angrily, grabbed her head in both hands and kissed her, hard. The only time he had kissed her anywhere near so possessively had been in the Turbolift, while experiencing the passion that Q had briefly fabricated for him, and back then it had been more desperate, more hungry – now it was furious and terrifying. She was suddenly made very aware of just how strong he was - how inhuman. The reality of what he was hit her with a clarity she couldn't remember ever feeling before. He was an electronic creation of mankind. He was a machine. And it excited her more than any biological being ever had before or, she presumed, ever would again. She reciprocated the kiss with her own racing lust and rage - grabbing, scratching, licking, biting… Her heart was hammering. A passionate response – how long had she ached to be able to create that in him? And now it was happening. She didn't want it to stop, and not just because that would mean they'd have to face the consequences of what was happening. She wanted this moment to go on forever…
He stopped, as abruptly as he'd initiated the kiss, and pushed himself away from her, aghast.
'What am I doing?'
She wiped the synthetic saliva from her bottom lip. 'I know this seems inappropriate, with Geordi being in trouble, but…'
'Get out.'
'Data, we need to…'
'Get out!'
She could see from his expression that he meant it. She left the cybernetics lab without saying another word.
-x-
This was not turning out to be the best day. Sure – they'd got Geordi back and defeated the attacking Duras Sisters - that had been good. Only, now they had lost the battle section of the ship to a warp core breach brought on by the damage inflicted during the fight and the crippled saucer section on which they'd escaped was now tumbling out of orbit and seemed oblivious to the fact that Galaxy class Starships could not land. And that was very, very, very bad. Tasha's knuckles were white around her Tactical post as the stars disappeared on the viewscreen, leaving only the fast approaching, emerald image of Veridian III; the planet that the remaining half of the Enterprise seemed desperate to give a swift, devastating kiss farewell to. There was a jolt, and the saucer section began to shake terribly as they hit atmosphere, turning the ship into a giant disc of fire. There really was nothing left to do now but to steel herself and wait to see if they'd levelled off the descent enough to be able to survive the impact.
'Fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen,' muttered Riker through grimly gritted teeth.
'We don't have any seatbelts,' replied an ashen Deanna Troi.
'At least you got a seat,' Tasha added, the shaking of the ship giving her voice a ridiculous tremolo.
'Then find as safe a place as you can and brace yourself,' Riker ordered.
'I won't abandon my post, Sir.'
'Dammit, Tasha, we can't exactly shoot our way out of this one,' countered Riker. 'The best thing you can do right now is try your hardest not to die.'
'If I'm gonna die,' Tasha argued, 'I'd rather do it on my f…'
There was an almighty "bang" above her. She looked up. Something – probably part of the ship's hull that had come away – had smashed hard into the already-damaged overhead window. Large cracks had formed in it and were rapidly growing.
She made a desperate grab for her console. 'Oh fu…'
Something else hit the window – something big. The very window that she had so often looked up at while on duty, and seen the glorious universe above her, and felt so safe and comforted at the sight, came apart above her ears and was sucked upwards into the Veridian atmosphere. She felt the overwhelming, freezing tug of the breach above her and hung on to her console as tightly as possible. As she battled against the pull she saw Riker trying to extend a helping hand to her while clutching desperately to the Captain's chair to prevent himself falling into the breach; she heard Klingon curses behind her that indicated Worf too was fighting his way towards her while doing his utmost to keep his own feet on the floor; she saw the back of Data's head as he wrangled with the ruined, powerless saucer section's computers to try to put a forcefield over the broken ceiling and restore normal pressure. For an instance, she saw Data turn, but before she could make eye contact, there was an immense jolt and she lost her grip.
Everything went red – Tasha couldn't gauge how long for – a second or so, she presumed, because when the hot redness faded, she was being buffeted by cold air pushing at her abdomen and face, there was nothing above her but sky, nothing below her but a forest of seemingly microscopic trees, as well as the battered saucer section, still making its descent without her. She was in freefall.
She struggled to breathe. She found herself unable to scream, unable to do anything save watch her ship from above as it fell. It was sailing forwards, away from her, and doing so fairy levelly. Perhaps it would not be a fatal crash – not for them, anyway. But there was no surviving this for her. This was the end. What a strange way to die. And with so much left undone, so much left unsaid. She could barely see, the air rushing at her face was so great, but she tried to take in her surroundings a little better. She wanted to meet death with her eyes open.
That was when she saw the other figure, plummeting twenty or so feet diagonally down from her, flattening itself out to try to control its fall and simultaneously trying to catch her attention by wildly waving its arms.
It couldn't be…
Tasha tried to remember the single parachuting programme she'd played years ago on the Holodeck. With extreme difficulty, she managed to position herself so as to fall roughly towards the other figure. As she neared the figure, her wind-lashed eyes were able to discern who it was.
It was Data.
She finally found her voice. 'What are you doing?' she shouted over the roar of the air.
'Falling,' came the obvious reply.
But Data had been the other side of the Bridge, and had a grip that could tear down doors singlehanded. He couldn't possibly have just fallen through the damaged window.
'Did you jump?'
Data's only answer was to extend a hand out towards her and shout 'here'.
She managed to grab his hand after a couple of attempts, and he pulled her close, wrapping his arms tightly around her. Tasha closed her eyes. Had he… had he jumped out of the Enterprise just so that they could have a proper "goodbye"? That was insane. All right, so it was also the most romantic thing anybody had ever done for her, but it was still insane.
The forest below was starting to look much bigger now. She was aware that Data was trying to turn himself around and manoeuvre her behind him.
'Hold on to my back.'
Tasha clambered around behind him and clasped her arms around his chest. 'Why? What are you going to do?'
Data darted a quick glance over his shoulder. 'I intend to save your life.'
'What? How?'
The forest was coming up fast now. A wide, uprooted trail off in the distance suggested that the Enterprise had already succumbed to gravity, but the trees here were tall and thick. They were bound to hit the branches before they reached the ground. Now facing the approaching trees, Data held his arms out wide in front of him. Tasha suddenly realised what it was he was going to try to do.
'Aahhh…' She screwed up her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder for protection.
'Hang on tight,' ordered Data pointlessly, since she was already clutching on to him with all of her strength.
She didn't see what happened next, but she certainly felt it – a sudden jolt as Data grabbed the top branches of the nearest tree to dramatically decrease the rate of their fall. The branches, inevitably, snapped and they started to slither gracelessly down through the tree. All around her was cracking, splintering, whipping, stinging wood as the android grabbed and broke branch after branch, slowing their descent to a speed far less likely to be deadly, but would still probably hurt like Hell once they hit the ground. There was one final drop of a few metres before Data's feet found soil. It was only as she heard the metallic crunching sound of something in his ankle breaking that she realised her own legs were wrapped tightly around his midriff. She let go and tumbled painfully to the ground just as he too toppled over.
There was a silence that seemed to last forever. She lay on her back, winded and with searing pain in her ribs and left shoulder, and looked up through the broken foliage at the fat, white trail the Enterprise had left in the blue sky above.
'Holy crap,' she whispered, 'I'm alive.' She craned her head over to where the android had fallen as well as she could. 'Data…?'
Data had landed facedown in a patch of moss, dotted with rocks and evergreen cones. She could see straight away that the synthetic skin on the palms of his hands had been ripped off by the fall through the tree. As he pushed himself up to a sitting position it became apparent that the lashing branches had also done fairly hefty damage to his face and arms. The android looked down at his legs, giving an experimental prod to his now limp, lifeless and decidedly right-angled right foot.
'Superficial damage, in the main. Nothing irreparable, although I will not be able to walk with my leg in its current condition.'
Tasha coughed, and painfully reached up to tap her Comms badge. 'Yar to Commander Riker…?'
There was a brief pause before a familiar voice replied. 'Holy crap, you're alive!'
'My sentiments exactly, Will,' grinned Tasha. 'And I could say the same about you.'
'It was as soft a landing as we could've hoped for, under the circumstances,' replied Riker's voice over the Comms link. 'The Enterprise came through for us even in her last gasps.' There was another pause. 'And Data…? He just leapt right out after you – we couldn't stop him. Is he…?'
'He could do with some synthetic skin grafts and one of his feet's seeing the world at a jaunty new angle,' Tasha answered, 'but apart from that he's OK. I think I've cracked a couple of ribs and dislocated a shoulder. I'm not sure if I can carry him…'
'We've got your co-ordinates,' Will interrupted. 'We'll come and get you. Might be a little while yet though – we're still evacuating the wreckage. Better get as comfortable as you can.'
'Sure,' Tasha croaked, smiling, 'I'll pull up a couple of armchairs and a chaise lounge. Yar out.'
There was a very long silence. Tasha watched the dying Enterprise's vapour trail as it faded. When she finally spoke, it felt as though her voice was intruding upon a grand, solemn peace.
'So, why did you do it?'
'I jumped,' replied Data, 'in order to save your life.'
'Thought you were mad as all Hell with me.'
'I am. I am merely not sufficiently infuriated with you to have allowed you to die when I was capable of preventing it. I would have done the same for any colleague, had they been the ones idiotically stubborn enough to stand beneath a shattering skylight at high altitude.'
'Well. Thank you.' Tasha paused. 'It was very brave of you.'
Data glared across at her. 'Are you insinuating that I only went to your rescue as a means of compensating for having failed Geordi?'
'Not at all,' replied Tasha, innocently. 'I was just thanking you. It must have been difficult doing something so dangerous with a newfound sense of fear.'
'Quite,' Data retorted, quietly. And then, even softer, added 'But the fear of you dying was worse.'
There was another long pause.
'I apologise for the drink,' announced Data after a while. 'In hindsight, it was unseemly – a rash reaction.'
'That's OK…'
'The sentiments behind it, however, remain the same. Many elements of our relationship have been unprofessional, unhealthy and exploitative for some years. You have treated me most unfairly.'
'So you keep saying,' Tasha replied, 'and, as I've already said, I think I've apologised enough. How long before you can forgive me?'
'I do not know,' Data told her. 'I expect, when I am no longer enraged and humiliated by the memories. That may take some time to come about.'
'Hmm,' said Tasha.
Another silence fell. Tasha was very aware of a certain elephant in the room, and wondered whether either of them was ever going to bring the subject up. It seemed, however, that the same topic had also been preying on Data's mind.
'About the… incident in the Cybernetics Lab,' began Data.
'You weren't yourself,' Tasha interjected, hurriedly. 'Neither of us were. We were worried about Geordi, concerned about how you were handling your new emotion chip… it was a stupid, instinctive, emotional outburst, and it was…' she sighed. 'It was wonderful. Wasn't it? Tell me it wasn't wonderful.'
She looked over to meet eyes with Data once more. The android had a very odd expression on what was left of his face – one she'd never seen before.
'I am only going to tell you this once,' Data announced, with a strange, sour smile. 'It never happened.'
'Oh, breathed Tasha. 'Oh, you vindictive Son of a Bitch.'
'If you do not mind being quiet now, Commander,' Data replied, turning his face away, 'we have a long wait ahead of us.'
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A/N If anybody's interested and has Spotify, I've compiled a "soundtrack" to Rollercoaster - of songs sung or quoted in the story arc, or used as episode titles, and a few that have either provided general inspiration or evoke the feeling of certain parts of the story. FFnet doesn't like posting links, but there's a link on my LJ, or message me & I'll email you the link.
Thanks as ever for reading, extra thanks to those who've reviewed.
Scribbles
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