"Reem!" Sharad cried, throwing her arms around the female.
"Sharad!" Pillow set her babies down for a moment, returning the embrace.
Willie, who had been trying to nap on a sofa next to the fake fireplace, rolled over, turning his back to them.
Pillow regathered her infants, staring at her daughter's uniform. "So they made you a soldier."
"Yok, remabe. I escaped the training camp. I live like a hunted animal."
Pillow sniffed. "You certainly smell like one. When's the last time you bathed?"
"I fell into a pond a few days ago. Does that count?"
Pillow rolled her goat eyes.
Tido and his cult, upon seeing my friend, genuflected and stood in silent awe, murmuring something about "The one who was close to Shasharmazorb."
Guessica prostrated herself on the floor. The Abreya visibly cringed.
"Who's that, mommy?" Caitlyn said.
I smiled and rubbed her head. "That's Pillow. She's a good friend."
"She looks weird."
I laughed. "Some of my best friends look weird."
"Why's she named Pillow?"
"I'm...not really sure."
Pillow smiled at Caitlyn. "She's cute. What's her name?"
I told her.
"What happened to her hand?"
"What happened to your tail?"
The question was rhetorical. She frowned. "I'm sorry."
Pillow's horizontal pupils narrowed at Moe. "Speaking of which, what is he doing here?"
"He's sorry about your tail," Caitlyn said. "He had to do it."
I gave the alien an apologetic look.
Pillow didn't look too pleased, but she still nodded in agreement. "Let's hope he doesn't have to do anything else like that."
Sharad engaged in lively chatter with her mother in Wava, holding the babies and generally making up for lost time. I heard David being mentioned a few times.
I narrowed my gaze at our squat human `hostess.' "Two bodyguards against an army of twelve. Getting a tad overconfident, aren't you?"
"Make that three," Charon said, limping into the room on her wolf's head cane. She aimed her pistol at me.
"You're still outnumbered."
The cult prepared to attack. Guessica brandished her ripped pop can like a knife.
My clone had this look like she thought she could take down my whole team by herself, but she didn't say anything. She just sized us up. Of particular interest to her was my daughter, and my `boyfriend.'
We were the same size, same relative age. I dreaded the thought of fighting her.
"There's no need to fight, Black Goose," the hostess said. "I friended you on Afexun, remember?"
"A virtual friend is not the same thing as a friend."
On a similar subject, Big Bird and Bishop, being androids, now stood facing each other like department store mannequins. Whatever tensions lay between them were not verbalized.
I clenched my fists, glaring at Jen-Jen. "Were you responsible for the coffins?"
Her eyes darted back and forth. "What coffins?"
"You said you knew I'd make it."
The woman appeared to feign nonchalance. "I only meant you had a long walk. What's this about a coffin?"
"Coffins. As in plural. We were buried alive. Two people died before we could dig them out."
She gave me this dumb cow eyed stare like she didn't know what I was talking about. "Did someone bury you?"
The response was so moronic that I couldn't help but assume it were all an act designed to infuriate me. "People are dead! Who is responsible!"
Jen-Jen shrugged. "If anyone is dying in this place, it's their own fault. We give them guidelines..." she shrugged.
"Is that what you told yourself when you killed Xavier?"
The woman burst out laughing. "You think I killed him?"
I turned my rage on Charon. "It was you then. You just don't know how to be a good person, do you?"
She wasn't smiling. "Maybe I don't, but the burial thing isn't my style. Neither is crucifixion. Hell, I didn't even want Rudy to be put in that arena, but Kamara said he'd outlived his usefulness to the project, unless he could fight, so she had the guys carry him onto the tram. You make one joke about Thunderdome..."
"So...whose idea was it?"
"Does it matter?"
I didn't answer. Instead, I whirled around to glare at Mrs. Lovelace. "You have a phone! You called her! Who's behind this? You?"
The woman burst into tears. "Those deaths are not my fault! I had nothing to do with this! They only told me to bring you here! I could have died in that coffin, just like you or anyone else!" She sobbed, sniffed, wiped her eyes. "So, no, it wasn't my doing. Those poor children..."
"Forgive me, but you seem so sketchy and aloof, and then I see you with a cel phone..."
"Why don't you just use Afexun?" Caitlyn asked her. "Why use a phone at all?"
"I have an allergic reaction to implants. The phone is basically a walkie talkie."
Caitlyn had never heard of something so prehistoric. "A what?"
"Direct Talk," Moe explained. "Like a mall cop."
My daughter furrowed her brow a moment. "Oh."
I stared at the woman, uncertain what to think. She had been a nice enough lady, at school, at least. I enjoyed her reading assignments, the biographies she gave us about various authors. And she had a charming glow to her during teacher conferences. I preferred reading in her class to military combat training, in whatever so-called `educational' guise it might take.
This is probably why I got moved to a different English class, one that was not as good, about halfway through the semester. The cover story was that she merely moved away to take care of her sick parents.
"I'm not a super spy or anything," the woman said. "I'm just a teacher that got her license revoked for teaching about religion and morality in a public school."
The Ss'sik'chtokiwij possessed woman in camo dropped to the floor, sniffing around like a dog. Caitlyn tugged on my arm, but I didn't want to interrupt the conversation with nonsense. Something Lovelace had said had piqued my interest. "You're a Christian?"
Lovelace chuckled. "No. I just told a few students about how all religions couldn't possibly be true at the same time, and maybe that a heterosexual parent family is ideal for a person's psychological well being. The point is, I'm nothing but a school teacher." She smirked. "You always had the most insightful comments. It's a shame they didn't clone you to become an English major."
No longer considering her the likely suspect, I turned to face Ippi. "What about you? That little show with the witchdoctors seemed exactly the kind of thing your boyfriend would pull off. I even found one of his suits in one of the killer cars."
"He's not my boyfriend!" she yelled. "He's sleaze!"
"But did he do it?"
"What do you think."
I scowled.
"Anyways, you'd have to ask him. I had nothing to do with his little magic tricks."
"And where is he hiding?"
She shrugged. "Who knows? I lost sight of him the minute they pulled me out of the stands."
After enduring my silent glare for a moment, she blurted, "Okay, so I may have helped him set up. But that was it! We no longer work together."
"What did they do with Lacethanny and Julia?" I asked the hostess.
"They're safe. I'd be happy to take you to them, but first, you must be starving..." She nodded to Bishop.
"Right away, ma'am." The android stepped out of the room.
"You're getting mighty bold," I said. "You know we could just gang up on you and slit your throat if we wanted."
My clone remained silent but wary.
Jennifer grinned like the cat that ate the canary. "But you wouldn't. I know you too well." She gestured to Pillow. "What would your fellow Christians think?...Besides, I have something you want. Or, rather, some things."
"She could always torture it out of you," Moe suggested.
"I'm disappointed in you, Eleven. When did your cheese slip off the cracker?"
"I'm not really sure. I hate hors d'oeuvres."
She frowned. "And still as thick as ever."
Caitlyn tugged on my arm again, pointing at Hosea, who was now sniffing the couches, the tables, the corners of the room, the scattered baby toys, the diaper pail and blankets. When I glanced her way, she glared at me. Still bitterly resentful of the body swap, I guessed.
"Speaking of cheese falling off the cracker," I muttered.
"Mom, why is she doing that?"
"Something's wrong with her brain, honey."
The Abreya's oldest child climbed up on a throne, dangling upside down from the back of the seat. It didn't topple because it was built into the floor.
Abreyas had strange looking genitals. You couldn't exactly call Pillow's kid a male or a female. I assume even Pillow called herself female out of mere convenience. I noticed this because the one playing with the throne was clothed only in its natural fur coat.
The child rolled out of the throne, onto the floor, then scurried up the side of a pillar, dangling off a flagpole by his tail, upside down.
"Nathan, be careful!" Pillow snapped, but it was too late. The child's tail slipped and he fell off, hitting his head on the floor. He cried loudly at the injury, despite it being rather slight.
The cult members stared, perhaps wondering if their worship had been misapplied.
"He inherited his father's intelligence, I'm afraid," Pillow sighed.
"That's not very nice."
"I suppose you're right, but it's true."
"David didn't seem that dumb to me."
"David!" Pillow laughed. "Oh no! Nathan's father is Glombo Uhmuxa. It just goes to show that even a longer lifespan and better schools doesn't always make a male smart. No, I had Nathan before I married David. If I could go back and change the things in my life, there's a lot I would have done differently. This is not to say my baby is a mistake. I love him very much. Would you mind holding Quana and Haman for a moment?"
I nodded and took the babies while she coddled her oldest.
Quana was cute as a button, and I had no problem holding her.
Haman, on the other hand...
The child's tiny lopsided eyes were spaced far apart, like a bird or fish. He had a harelip so wide that a number of his uppers were visible all the way to the gum line, and his ears were floppy, like a dog's, if you shaved off all the hair from one. The child also had horn-like nubs protruding from his forehead.
His body, with its covering of hair, had the appearance of a caterpillar, the arms and legs six useless looking stubs...it had an extra set of arms. The tail was also disproportionately long. I looked away.
Hosea sniffed around an archway and slipped out of the room. Hoping she was doing something useful, and that nobody else was watching, I pretended not to notice.
The deformed baby gnawed on my top. Pillow must have caught my look of disgust, for then she told me, "I named him after one of the most evil men in the bible. The briwoxna...they took seed from Nathan and impregnated me with it, maybe even slipped in some of Sil's DNA, I'm not sure, but it's incest, that's what it is. The child, he's an abomination."
She sighed and shook her head. "But the Lord hates abortion. I had a chance to kill him, but the guilt, the nightmares about hell...I cannot destroy this creature that Ponai has brought into being. It would have been better if I had been raped the ordinary way. At least then the baby wouldn't have been born like this!.."
"Out there, people don't care. They make aborted babies into sandwiches."
"God!" Pillow said. "I thought that practice ended in the Siege of Jerusalem!"
"Now it's trendy. They call them `Freedom Meats.'"
"But Democracies are potato chips," said Moe. "To the best of my knowledge, they do not yet have a baby flavor."
"I don't blame my husband for being a Homeschooler."
Pillow took the deformed baby out of my arms, stroking his fur. "Why care for him at all? Because inside we're all as ugly as this, and my Lord still died to save me."
Pillow suckled the baby some more. "I had a consoling thought. If God uses the foolish to shame the wise. Perhaps He also uses the hideous to bring to nothing the things that are beautiful. Perhaps, when he is old enough to speak, Haman will reflect an inner beauty that will put supermodels to shame. I have heard that the mentally handicapped have a great capacity for love."
I only stared at her.
Ippi put her hands to her hips, taking in the little domestic scene with a disgusted snap of her tail. "See that, Ellie? We have a word for a female like this. Ondawku. It means mindless hen or egg laying machine. I believe the human phrase with the same meaning is barefoot and pregnant. Of course, it still doesn't convey the same sense of rolling over and taking it."
"At least I'm not a baby killer!" Pillow shouted, her face flushing green with anger.
"Ladies..." Jen-Jen scolded. "Let's behave like civilized...things here. There's a reason why people say not to discuss religion or politics..."
"Too often, people act like that cute little saying was handed down by God on Mount Sinai," Pillow said. "But it's actually a recipe for two faced friends. I prefer to know where people's loyalties, rather than find popularity."
"Then you will end up alone," Jen-Jen said.
"Amen," said Ippi.
"It is better to be an outcast in isolation than alone in a crowd of alleged friends."
"Did you say you had cake?" Moe asked.
A dwarf in a butler's outfit, a female in a maid's garb, the android, and a group of kids dressed in similar uniforms came in, setting out sandwiches, and tea in the English style (with milk and sugar), strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting, and other stuff. They had brought just enough for us and Tido's little army.
Caitlyn reached for a sandwich, but I pulled her back. "They probably put sleeping potion in it."
When Moe's hand went for the cake, I shoved it and the trays of food on the floor. The cult members, noticing my reaction, retreated from the food.
Jen-Jen let out an exasperated sigh. "Gee, that was a waste!"
"Nice try!" I shouted. "Get us all doped up so you can put us through another one of your little games!"
"Fine," she snarled. "I was just being nice. But if you want to starve, go right ahead!"
She waved to the servants, and the food, and the mess I'd made, was all cleared away.
"If you're hungry, you have your fearless leader to blame. I offered!"
"Why'd you do that, mommy?" Caitlyn whimpered. "I'm so hungry!"
I clutched her hand. "Caitlyn, I've been fooled before. The last thing we need is to be stuck in another trap because we ate some doped up food. You understand, don't you?"
With some reluctance, she nodded.
"If we wanted to knock you unconscious," Jen-Jen said. "We could have just filled the room with sleeping gas."
"The room is too open and ventilated for that."
Absolute Li, who had eaten one of the cakes before they could be removed from the room, now lay unconscious on a couch. Despite Jen-Jen's protestations of innocence, there had been drugs in them.
I directed her attention to the boy. "Didn't you say the food wasn't doped?"
"How do you know he wasn't just tired?"
Tido shook him awake, but the boy remained groggy and heavy lidded. He slipped back into unconsciousness. Having no proof of drugs, I could only glare in annoyance.
I shoved Jen-Jen to the floor, hands clamped around her throat. "Where is the hospital! The one you're keeping Ernie and her grandmother in!"
"I don't need to tell you that. But I will tell you that it isn't here."
"Where is Julia and Lacethanny!"
"There's no need for violence," Pillow said. "They're being kept in the laundry room."
"Correction," Jen-Jen said. "They were being kept there."
I banged her head against the floor. "Where are they!"
She smiled but didn't answer.
The muzzle of a gun pressed against my skull. I heard the click of a hammer going back. The voice sounded just like mine. "Careful. One sudden move and you might accidentally shoot yourself."
I raised my hands, releasing the woman.
The cultists readied themselves for a fight, but didn't do anything because I was being held hostage. Guessica squeezed her hands into fists, accidentally cutting herself with the pop can.
"You get violent when you're hangry," Jen-Jen said in a smug tone.
I backed away from my twin, and the hostess. "We're cool. Everyone's cool. We'll just...hang out, and wait for Jen-Jen to...show us our friends."
Jen-Jen brushed herself off and sat up. "You know, I think I'm going to need to sleep on that one."
I clenched my fists, wishing I could wipe that smile off her face without eating a bullet.
The other Ellie holstered her gun, helping the woman to her feet.
Now, Ippi had been lurking behind a throne, observing us with a guarded interest that told me nothing about her intentions.
I found it strange, therefore, when the fuzzy tip of her tail curled around the back of the throne, pointing at my clone as her eyes did a covert two-step in the girl's direction.
A large die cast metal car struck the other Ellie in the back of the head.
"Ow!"
My clone winced, rubbed her head, turned to look at the thrower.
Before she could attack, I jumped over a coffee table, clocking her across the side of the head.
I snatched the gun from my clone's holster, but she head butted me, and we ended up wrestling for control of the piece.
"Caitlyn!" I shouted. "Hide!"
My daughter obediently fled the immediate area.
Behind us, Bishop had his own pistol out, but Big Bird stepped in the way, and now the two engaged in sort of an awkward waltz as they fought to take possession of that weapon.
Willie got off the couch, backing out the entrance.
Pillow drew away from the conflict, protectively clutching her infants. Her stumpy tail held Nathan back.
The cult kids and Tido probably would have helped, but Jen-Jen had pulled out a gun, then kicked a lever that made a section of the wall and floor flip out like a He-Man playset, throwing them outside.
I grabbed Ellie 2's gun in both hands, attempting to yank it out of her clutches. My twin's fingers shot out to poke my eyes, but I kicked her in the crotch, brought my elbows around clockwise so they pinned her arm down, then yanked the gun away, shooting her in the stomach.
Ellie 2 screamed and came at me, but Moe stopped her by smashing a vase over the back of her head.
She collapsed on the floor.
I stared at my clone in alarm. What if that were me? Was I really that much of a pushover?
If Moe betrayed me, could he take me out that easily?
I hoped I would never find out.
When I heard a scream, I flinched and shied away from my twin's body, prepared to go another round with her, but then I saw it was actually Sharad. The Abreya had climbed a pillar and jumped onto Bishop's back, clawing at his fiber optic eyeballs.
Big Bird snatched the gun out of Bishop's hands, but did not fire, due to the danger of injuring Sharad.
"Young lady!" Lovelace shouted, tossing her a knife she'd taken from the arena. "Shove this through the base of his skull!"
The moment the Abreya had it, Bishop's hands reached around backwards, squeezing Sharad's neck in such a way that would have been impossible for a person, but easy for a machine with added articulation in its joints.
Sharad wasn't afraid of him. Despite being choked, she did what Lovelace said, ramming the knife up through the top of his spinal column. Milky white coolant sprayed all over her. The hands kept choking her, but she only pushed the blade in deeper.
The robot's hands froze there, continuing to squeeze, despite the rest of his body shutting off. Sharad tried to pry his fingers away, but they were like iron.
Big Bird holstered the gun, drove a finger into a spot in Bishop's wrists, and both hands snapped open like reversed mousetraps.
Sharad backed into a corner and cried.
I and my former teacher exchanged glances, wordlessly communicating that a bond of trust had been established. I gave her a grateful nod.
Tido and his little team rushed back into the room. I spun around, checking on my daughter.
Caitlyn cowered behind Pillow's chaise lounge. I raised a hand, indicating she should stay there.
"C'mon," my bird costumed enemy said to Jen-Jen, gun at the ready. "Let's get you someplace safe."
"I can take care of myself," the squat woman said, stowing her gun. "Why don't you make yourself useful and shoot someone?"
"Because maybe I have a better idea."
Charon stole Jen-Jen's weapon, shoving her into the group of cult members. "There you go, kids! Have fun!"
"Hey!" our hostess shouted. "Charon! What is this!"
"It's called a hostile takeover. If I were you, I'd tell them where you're keeping the girl's friends."
Jen-Jen whimpered. "I'll report you to the board for this!"
"If you live!"
My jaw hung open in shock. My most hated foe had just changed sides!
Tido grabbed the woman, shoved her to the floor, pressing a knife to her throat. "You know something about where we can find our Lord Shasharmazorb, don't you?"
"Maybe. But if you kill me, you'll never find out."
"Oh we don't intend to kill you..."
When I looked away from the scene, I heard the woman screaming.
Ellie 2 was stirring. Moe, who had been sitting on my twin to keep her from moving, now found his task doubling in difficulty. "Yo! Anyone got a rope?"
"She'll just burn through it," I said. "I would."
"Then I guess we'll have to kill her."
Before anyone could stop her, my twin wiggled out of his clutches, bowling over everyone out of her path as she hastily escaped through an archway.
"Dammit!" Moe shouted.
"Forget her," I said. "If we kill her, they'll just clone another one. We'll deal with her if and when she decides to cross paths with us again."
"They're in a secret room in the basement!" Tido announced as he held up a bloody knife.
"Eyya Shasharmazorb!" Guessica cried.
I didn't want to know what he had done. The trickle of blood at the corner of Jen-Jen's mouth told me enough.
Ippi gave me a high five. "Great! With any luck, we'll be off this rock within an hour!"
"Maybe, maybe not," I said. "I think an hour is a little optimistic. Still, we have an army. It shouldn't take too long..."
We accessed the basement by crossing through a ballroom modeled after a Beauty and the Beast playset, and passing through a door at the foot of a staircase. Pillow and her kids followed us. Sharad stayed at her side, knife at the ready.
Mark, as he had done since his rescue, stayed close to me, clinging to my metaphorical apron strings, staring at the other aliens like this were his first day at school. "You were bold back at the theme park. What happened?"
"That was my brother. I'm the shy one."
We entered a small prison with empty cells. To one corner lay a room with glass windows, featuring a dentist's chair and torture instruments.
Through the cell windows, I could see it was dark, late in the evening, possibly near dawn. Not surprising, considering how it had been dark when we got in the arena, and we wouldn't have been buried alive long enough for it to become dawn without us suffocating.
Moe crossed his arms. "Well. This is quaint."
"I never liked this place," said Pillow.
I nodded. "I don't blame you."
A steel security door stood at the far end, one with a palm scanner and a keypad. Hosea crouched on the floor next to it, eagerly waiting for someone to let her in.
Tido forcefully pressed Jen-Jen's hand to the palm scanner, then, when she refused to give the code for the associated keypad, he cut on her earlobe until she talked.
The door clicked open, and we hustled into another concrete prison, this one containing five glass and metal cages with unearthly creatures inside. A secondary steel door at the opposite end had the radiation symbol on it.
Pillow kept her children close, eyes darting around nervously.
I didn't see any sign of Ernie or her grandmother, but I did find Mark, Julia, Lacethanny, and a Ss'sik'chtokiwij larva I hadn't met before, a larva with a shell bearing the texture of warty toad skin. The kids in Tido's cult were in awe, muttering prayers to these creatures.
Moe clapped and rubbed his palms together. "All right! Now we're getting somewhere!"
I tried to open the cells, but they required an access code, and pushing the button sequence that sounded like Devil Inside didn't work.
Jen-Jen, who had been directing us to the location, said, "That synthetic human you killed had the codes." She had a slight lisp, due to whatever Tido had done to her. "Good luck opening those cells, assholes!"
Hosea rushed to the larva, chatting with her in Ss'sik'chtokiwij.
Moe punched in random sequences of numbers on the other doors, idly playing Old McDonald and the James Bond theme with the keys. They remained locked. "Huh. That didn't work."
"Can you figure out a way to crack the codes?" I asked Big Bird.
"Yes. But it will take time."
"Do what you have to. We need them out of there."
Jen-Jen's eyes bulged in fear. "You're seriously going to let those flesh eating monsters run free?"
"Don't act so scared. You've seen them run free before."
"I've seen a damn lion run loose before, but that doesn't mean I'm going to calmly sit down and watch TV while it's stalking around in my house!"
"Well that's just too bad. They're getting out, and I'm taking them with me."
She said nothing, but the look I saw on her face was positively shifty.
"She has a point," said Willie. "Those creatures..."
I placed a claw on Caitlyn's shoulder. "Those creatures I trust with my daughter's life. Even the little one..."
"She is truly our Lord's chosen," Guessica said.
I glanced at the unfamiliar larva's face plates. "Sripasde! What's your name?"
"Lammy," she said. "Or Lamb Chop if you prefer. Nathan does."
Interesting. So far I'd only heard Pillow's boy talk in Wava, but maybe he was just quiet like Mark.
I marched up to the xenomorph's cell. "Lammy, I'm a friend of your mother's. You wouldn't harm a human, would you?"
Lammy tilted her head quizzically. "It depends on whether the killing is just."
"She did not share minds with mother as I did," said Hosea. "Mother spoke to her egg."
"She means that mother connected her ssujmarrux to a socmavaj."
"I confess that there is a lot I do not understand," Lammy said in Ss'sik'chtokiwij. Especially the human tongue, but I have received many important memories. They come to me like dreams. I understand what pleases mother, and what does not. A human can be a very beautiful, loving pet."
"What did it say?" Willie asked.
"She's confused, but she...is an animal lover."
Pillow smiled. "I've been trying to communicate with her. She tends to be more fluent in Wava."
Big Bird flipped her index finger backwards in a way that would break a normal human digit. She had a sort of automatic socket wrench inside it, one which she used to unfasten the casing to the security access panel on Julia's cell.
Tido and his flock, of course, couldn't help but show their reverence to their gods, but I stepped in front of their bowing figures, crossing my arms. "Hey. Make yourselves useful and check the area for soldiers. We're not going to get my mother, um, Shasharmazorb and her kin out of this place if we've got company." Sure, it was kind of rude, but I wanted him to get annoyed and start talking to me like an equal.
The man frowned, but gave me a solemn nod. "I hear and obey, milady." Then, as an afterthought, "Ms. Siebers." He led the children out of the room.
"Should I go with them?" Moe asked. "You know, keep them out of trouble?"
I shook my head. "You need to stay here with me and Caitlyn, in case something goes south."
"You're right. Someone needs to keep Big Flo in check."
"Big Flo!" Jen-Jen cried indignantly. "How dare you!"
"We need to find her a gag. Or maybe an apple, like at a luau."
I grinned at Charon. "You're hired. A gag and some rope."
Charon saluted me, hobbling out.
"Bitch," Jen-Jen said. "I thought we were friends."
"I don't think you know what a friend is," I countered.
Our little rest in the graveyard wasn't a full eight hours, even if we had actually rested. And some food would have been nice.
"I'm hungry," Caitlyn said. "Can we go back to the other town?"
I rubbed my face. "I don't think that's a good idea. We'll have to figure out something else."
I thought about assigning Ippi the task of getting food, or checking the house for foes, but I didn't trust her enough for that. Heck, I didn't trust Charon, but I didn't have to eat a gag, or rope. I decided I would have to ask Pillow about the food.
I approached Lacethanny's cell. "How are you and your friends doing?"
"Just fine. This isn't our first time being imprisoned."
Big Bird had the key panel of Julia's cell opened now, busying herself working on the wires.
"They used shock collars on us," said Julia.
I pressed my claw to the bulletproof glass barrier. "At least you're all right."
I stood up, spent a few seconds mentally appraising my English teacher's strategic value. "I could use a little more recon. Check out the other places in the house that Tido and his kids aren't looking. Check outside. See if we have any visitors. Run back here if you see anything."
She smirked. "Maybe it's good you weren't cloned with a literature gene. You seem to be taking well to army tactics. I think we actually need them right now."
The comment didn't set well with me, but she was gone out the door before I could think about it too hard.
When I checked on Big Bird's progress again, I found her French kissing the wires inside the panel.
"Hey, get a room, you two," Moe joked.
The cell door came open, and Julia scampered out.
Big Bird wiped her mouth like she'd just given a person a fat juicy kiss. "I required direct communication with the system. I have advanced fiber optic systems in my tongue." She moved on to the next cell, only punching in numbers this time. Lacethanny's cell popped open in seconds.
"What, no tongue?" Moe asked.
"Electrical current has a memory. I familiarized myself with it."
"The circuit breakers must think you're totally hot."
"Circuit breakers do not think." She froze in thought. And laughed. "Humor. I will file that away in my database."
Soon Big Bird had Mark and Lammy freed from their cells.
Charon limped back into the room, bearing rope and a bandanna. "Will these work?"
"Gimme." Moe snatched the items up, binding and gagging Jen-Jen so securely that you'd have to use a knife to get her out of it.
I thanked Charon, asking her to search the building for weapons, signs of the enemy.
"So," I said to Pillow. "Where's the food kept around here?"
Pillow led us up the stairs and through a ballroom to a kitchen. Willie had acquired a fireplace poker from the fireplace, using it like a cane as he limped after us.
The room had the same dollhouse-like design scheme as the rest of the house, the counters and sink made of that park bench kind of plastic, but some exceptions had been made for practicality. Metal and marble topped surfaces for hot food, metal microwave, metal stove and dishwasher, metal sink fixtures, metal fridge, metal pots, knives, pans and other tools, but the cabinets, furniture and floor were polyethylene and PVC.
So far, we heard no signs of battle, no indication that Tido and his kids had encountered resistance elsewhere in the building, so we set about foraging.
No sign of the butler or kitchen staff. I guess they ran away out of fear or something.
The fridge contained leftovers of things that I hadn't spilled on the floor, things too suspicious to eat. I and Caitlyn left those items alone, cracking open canned goods from the cabinets, frying up eggs, hamburger meat, anything that looked like it could be safely consumed, or safe from toxins once thoroughly cooked.
Pillow helped me a lot with this. David couldn't have asked for a better wife. Really. Once the children sat in their recycled high chairs (and Nate was actually following directions like a child twice his age) a very basic but terrific meal was bubbling and simmering away.
Our mouths watered. I even saw Jen-Jen's gag dampening.
Charon limped in. "No sign of weapons." She sniffed. "Wow. That smells delicious. Too bad I already ate on the boat."
"Yeah?" I said, somewhat indignant. "What did you have?"
"Catfish, steak fillet, crab cakes and fried rice. I probably won't get to eat that good again."
Moe smirked. "I thought I saw your bikini molting."
"Funny."
She didn't touch the Ozsaggo," Ippi said.
"I don't eat cat food," Charon said. "No matter how well it's prepared."
"You should have tried bird seed," Moe joked.
"Getting kind of punchy, aren't you Moe?" I asked.
"Sorry. It's late. I do that."
In a tone that sounded almost jealous, Sharad said, "You had Ozsaggo?"
"She couldn't cook Ozsaggo if it were ordered from Ribopredh," Pillow mocked.
"Hey, who said I cooked it?"
"Oh, she cooked it, all right," Charon groaned. "She melted paraffin over cockroaches."
Caitlyn wrinkled her nose. "Gross!"
"No, gross is eating Marshmallow Peeps."
Mark crawled up on me like a little monkey, so I cradled him in my arms as I worked on my meal. Julia and Lacethanny scampered around my legs, watching our activities with interest.
"We do not get out much," Lacethanny explained. "This is new to us."
"I saw cooking in a prison," Julia said. "This smells much more delicious."
"I imagine it would."
Lammy climbed up on a marble counter. "You knew my mother. I recognize your face from the visions."
I nodded. "I'm pretty sure you're the only Lammy on the island, so you'd have to be my friend's larva."
"Not your friend. Your niece's larva."
"All right. Maybe we're related." My cheeks flushed as I thought my awkward, semi-incestuous situation with Julia. Some things you don't want to ever verbalize, despite there being unanswered questions...like how I was supposed to have babies. "I...promise we're going to get the family back together, or die trying."
That really wasn't what I wanted to say, but I couldn't think of anything better to fill the gap.
"Is it true my birth helped rescue children?"
"In a way. This place is a little better than where they were, but still not ideal."
"But I was not entirely unjustified in consuming the human I'd hatched from."
"No...I think your...species has to do that."
"I didn't," Julia said.
"Well, you're...um...the exception. Anyway, it was good that you were born when and where you were."
After what felt like an eternity of salivating near half cooked food with empty bellies, the completed repast was distributed (on recycled plastic plates. of course). We hadn't enough chairs for all of us, but some of my party ate in the throne room.
Tido and his charges returned from his reconnaissance mission, announcing the all clear, so we gave them their grub as well.
We ran out of the cooked stuff, but there was still food in cans, so everyone got a fair amount, even the Ss'sik'chtokiwij, so nobody complained. Guessica viciously attacked the beans. Grita, her close friend, offered her some canned peaches too.
"How did you end up here, Ms. Young?" I asked with my mouth partly stuffed with potatoes.
Now that we were fed, we had another problem to deal with.
"We're all tired," Willie yawned. "We've done nothing but run around and fight. We can't keep this up."
"You're right, but I don't like the idea of sleeping in this house, either. Someone needs to watch Jen-Jen and the perimeter, or we'll end up in another trap."
"I only need eight hours of sleep in a forty eight hour period," Ippi said. "I slept last night, so I'm good."
"Speak for yourself," said Pillow. "Haman and Nate are leyonda, so sleep has been kind of rough."
"What's leyonda?" I asked.
"Abreyas are either one of two sleeping modes. Leyonda or Oxucar."
"Unless you're neither," Ippi said. "Then you'll be spending quality time at a doctor."
I stared. Guessica seemed to be taking mental notes.
"There are...Cubcucos. They're like horoscopes, all based on your sleep pattern and star pattern. Nothing you'd recognize, of course, we have different stars."
"I'm an Oxucar," Sharad said. "I need to sleep tonight."
"All right, so we have one on night watch..." I didn't totally trust Ippi, but I couldn't say it out loud. "Do we have any other night owls?"
"I'll watch you," Moe said.
"We have been resting for some time," Julia said. "I, Lammy and Lacethanny will keep watch."
"My brethren and I will take turns," Tido said.
Guessica gave me a grave nod. "I will not let you down, milady."
Charon also volunteered.
I'd seen beds in the prison cells, and Pillow told us about more in rooms upstairs, but nobody wanted to use them.
"I'd feel safer sleeping outside," Sharad said.
Lovelace, who was just returning from a search of the house, said, "I wouldn't. Take a look out the south window."
We followed her into a Barbie dining room.
Ippi drew back the chintz curtains, staring out. "Shit! Security Spheres!"
I looked and saw five giant massage ball things rolling down the dirt road, circling the house.
"Every time you turn around, there's those damned things..." Lovelace said. "They've been known to kill people, but they're still being used."
Moe frowned. "Guess we're stuck here."
