Morgana knew all of the routes to escape the hall, her memory of Camelot hadn't failed her, many things she remembered with perfect clarity. It had been strange to return, but as Merlin had pointed out, she had to do it some time. At least this way, with so many other people around, she was not quite so obviously stared at. And with such a crowd she had managed to evade even Lancelot. Eira had been easily distracted by the ladies and knights in attendance, blossoming in the social atmosphere. It would do the girl good, Morgana thought to herself, as she made her escape.
She had been aware of a few eyes on her as she left, both curious and suspicious. As she moved out onto the balcony she looked up at the night sky, the moon glowed, it's face almost full, a slight haze around the edges.
"Is that true about you and Merlin?"
Morgana spun to face Arthur. She wondered which bit of the information actually hurt him, the fact that Merlin might take her away or that she might take Merlin away. Morgana smiled at him.
"Don't take Evelyn too seriously, she's trying to get back at Merlin over the arrangements he is making for Percival."
"Merlin looked furious."
"Because he knows what she's doing. She made a huge scene earlier today."
Arthur gave a slight smirk. "I heard, most of the castle did."
Morgana smirked back, easing the moment a little. It had been uncomfortable as Merlin, during the speeches had loudly joked about Arthur's attempts to impress his May Queen, Mithian.
"You could have given her flowers and written a poem, but what does she get? A load of armoured, sweaty, men knocking seven bells out of each other!"
The crowd had given an appreciative ripple of laughter. Despite everything Merlin's manner seemed to have eased everyone, until that moment, as the laughter faded and Evelyn's voice piped up.
"Is that what you'll do for Morgana?"
Perhaps it might have passed away as another flicker of humour if not for the look on Evelyn's face, and also Merlin's as he turned to look at his sister. The two had locked gazes and something was clearly going on between them. Morgana hadn't known where to look until Merlin had turned back to the crowd and started joking to Percival about Gwen.
It had smoothed over, but clearly not left anyone's mind, least of all Arthur's. And he was waiting for an answer, moving closer so they were less than three paces from each other. Morgana sighed.
"I do not think we are to that point," she said. "It is clear that such a thing is what Cenred wants."
"It's not down to him."
Morgana shrugged. "He will no doubt bring it to your attention if he has to. You are my guardian, and I am the sole heir of one of Camelot's foremost noble families. The marriage may help secure Merlin's claim to the throne, he is not of Cenred's blood, unless he's hiding the talents of a Dragonlord."
"But no one can dispute his claim, Cenred named him as heir. It does not necessarily have to be by blood."
"Many of the noble families still murmur it," Morgana said. "He is of a noble line, being a Dragonlord, but not of noble blood."
"And Cenred thinks a marriage to you may quell that."
"Plus I'm powerful enough in my own right. Combined Merlin and I..." Morgana trailed off with a shrug. Arthur stepped forward, reaching out to take her hand, holding it in his. Morgana looked down and then back up at him.
"But you do want that? Do you love Merlin?"
Morgana's face creased into a slight frown. "I don't know. I think my destiny is just as linked to his as yours is, but so much has happened. Merlin and I, we have clashed over many things."
And whatever it was, caused Morgana some pain, Arthur could see it in her eyes. He had known her for so long that it couldn't be hidden from him.
"Maybe too much has happened, Freya, Morgause, the Great Dragon..." she tailed off, looking out at the night sky. Arthur lifted her hand and kissed it gently. Morgana felt quite startled.
"If it's meant to be, then it will work out. Would you want it to?"
"It's not been something I've thought about, at least not often. Cenred is the one wanting to make plans. I'm not sure what Merlin thinks."
"Agravaine is of the opinion that Merlin has a plan to marry me to Evelyn."
Morgana snorted with mild derision. "Hardly. I'm amazed Agravaine isn't pushing the idea."
Arthur raised his eyebrows. "Why?"
"Marry the true daughter of the royal household of Essetir to the king of Camelot. By law, you would be able to claim the throne by right of marriage."
"I wouldn't try," Arthur said.
Morgana shook her head. "Cenred would never allow it. In many ways letting her marry Percival would solve everything. There would be no challenge for the throne, at least from within the family."
"Is that happening?" Arthur asked.
Morgana shrugged. "A little. Cenred's cousin Lot has already asked for Evelyn's hand. He would certainly challenge Merlin."
"Cenred refused then?"
"Of course. He'll have to make provision for Evelyn at some point. I think it's one reason he never married Hunith. It makes Evelyn illegitimate."
"But she's his true born child. No one doubts that I presume?"
"Whatever else they say about Hunith, they don't doubt that Cenred has been her only lover. And the challenge would be something Evelyn could not control, she is a spoilt little princess, certainly not able to rule the kingdom."
"Sounds like someone else I know," Arthur said with a smirk. Morgana glowered at him and retrieving her hand smacked his arm.
"I was never that bad."
"No, much worse," Arthur giggled. Morgana smacked him again, which made him wince through the laughter. He pulled himself together.
"Seriously Morgana, do you have feelings for Merlin?"
Morgana sighed and turned to lean on the balcony and stare up at the sky. Arthur shifted so he could also rest on the ledge, but he looked at her instead. She looked stunning, she always did, but now there was something else, a glow of strength that came from within. Arthur decided Merlin would be mad to turn her down if Morgana wanted him.
"So many things have happened, Freya, and Morgause, and the dragon and this whole destiny thing."
"Destiny be damned, your own choices are what matter. Does he love you?"
"I don't think so. He feels responsible for me, but knowing what we know, I think he is wary."
"Do you love him?" Arthur asked. Morgana stared up at the night sky.
"You always were a romantic Arthur," she told him. "For you it has to do with love, and that's strange, since you are thinking of cementing an alliance with a marriage."
"No, my uncle is. I don't have any intention of marrying just for that reason. And we're not talking about me. Do you love Merlin?"
"I don't know. I feel as if I can't do without him near. I know Uther would have had to arrange a marriage for me. He wouldn't have allowed me to marry just anyone. But the marriage would have to have been advantageous to him. I wonder what my father would have made of all this, he was a romantic as well, I think."
Because she was looking up at the sky she didn't see Arthur tense, quite violently. He quickly composed himself.
"He loved you." Arthur kept his expression steady but his realised there was an undertone to his words, that Morgana, thankfully, didn't hear.
"He loved Morgause, I presume, and my mother. That was why Gaius helped to see my sister safely out of Camelot to the Isle of the Blessed. Look how that ended."
"Merlin never really told me what happened, just that she had been stopped."
"I killed her. I made a choice and I killed her."
"Oh Gods, Merlin never told me that. I'm sorry Morgana." He reached out to take her hand again. "I'm sorry. I won't say that she didn't deserve it, but you certainly didn't."
"She was my sister. My family."
Arthur hesitated, opening his mouth and then pausing, wanting to say what was on his mind. Morgana, too lost to her memories, didn't see the emotions shifting across Arthur's face.
"I'm sorry," he eventually said, once he had managed to compose himself, and meaning what he said. Morgana turned to look at him.
"For you, not for her," Arthur added.
Morgana frowned. "I don't need you feeling sorry for me."
"I don't mean it like that," Arthur said awkwardly as Morgana withdrew her hand from his.
"She had magic," Morgana said, as if that was the reason that Arthur was glad she was dead.
"So do you," he said. "So does Merlin. You don't hurt people deliberately, or trick them into doing something that will destroy them."
Morgana winced at the memory of the vision she had been given, of what Arthur would have done to himself, had he killed Uther, in the rage of knowledge of what had happened to his mother. Thankfully Merlin had got there in time to save them both, and Morgana had begged him to, not just for Arthur, but also to save Uther, a man she thought she hated. Were the reasons real or imagined, or so badly mixed it was hard to tell, she wondered.
"You've used it to help me," Arthur pointed out. "You knew Sophia was..."
"A Sidhe," Morgana prompted.
"Yes, that, and there was that afanc, you did something to it, not me! I just waved my sword around, ineffectively."
Morgana blinked. "You knew that?"
"Yes. And I knew that you had dreams that were true, or telling you something."
"You never said anything."
Arthur shrugged. "You never seemed to want to really talk about it."
"I meant to Uther."
Arthur frowned. "I didn't think I could talk to him about it. I tried Gaius as well, he managed to answer me while also failing to actually give me any facts. Most of it I had to read about."
Morgana's eyebrows shot up. "What?!"
"I had to read it. I went into the library and found it, after many, many, hours of looking."
Morgana giggled. "Really?"
"I gave Geoffrey that line about looking up history in Camelot. He put dusty tomes all over the place thinking he was helpful, when in actual fact he just made me sneeze... a lot."
Morgana continued to giggle. "And what did you learn?"
"That sorcery is no more evil than my sword," Arthur said. "It what you use it for that matters."
"A sword just kills."
"Depends who you kill," Arthur said. "If you think it is someone who is a danger to others, then maybe yours is the right decision. the knights of Camelot fight and kill on my orders, how do I decide who deserves that?"
"You mostly look for a peaceful solution. So did Uther."
"You said that reluctantly."
"I dealt with your Vivian obsession."
"You did a lot for me."
"Is that why you didn't have me arrested?"
"You didn't commit a crime Morgana. You released the dragon as an act of kindness, how he chose to interpret that was his decision. He's not an unintelligent beast, he knew what he was doing, he chose to attack, and kill the citizens of this kingdom, not you."
"You sound very certain of that."
"I am. The fact that Balinor, and Merlin, had to control him, says that he would not have stopped otherwise, but what you, Merlin and other people tell me, he has the ability to control himself, he is an intelligent beast and instead he behaved..."
"He behaved as Camelot saw him," Morgana said.
"Wasn't there better power in proving us wrong?" Arthur asked.
"Maybe. I don't think it's a simple answer."
"I never thought it was."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Percival was surprised when Morgana appeared in the tent. Lancelot had been helping him into his armour, ready for the final joust. As he turned it appeared that Lancelot didn't seem the least bit surprised to see her.
"I'll finish that," she said.
"Are you sure My Lady?" Percival asked. He was quite used to Merlin, or even Evelyn, coming to help him. But Morgana had never really bothered to seek him out. Until now.
"I used to help my father, and Arthur sometimes," she said. "One time I helped Arthur no one knew it was even him. He was pretending to be someone called Sir William of Deria."
Morgana conversed in a casual tone, that clearly had a purpose.
"Really?" Percival asked, sounding confused at to the true purpose of the conversation.
"Everyone thought Arthur was off patrolling the northern area of Camelot. Gwen and I found a farmer to act as Sir William when he needed to have his helmet off and then Arthur jousted in his stead."
"What for? No one was likely to ban Arthur from jousting."
"The week before he was practicing with Leon and Leon didn't take advantage of an open strike on him."
"He wouldn't," Percival said.
"Arthur wasn't sure if he was winning by merit or by the fact that knights were too nervous to strike him."
"He is the king, they do him any damage they'd be in trouble. Plus it does the people good to see him win."
"Which is the conundrum you have now," Morgana said, quite accurately. "You're jousting Arthur in a final at Camelot. You could win, you're perfectly capable but Arthur is the king. It might not be, in your eyes, appropriate to win."
Percival sighed. "Arthur is capable of winning."
"He is, but he would much rather know it was his own skill than your misguided sense of loyalty."
"Merlin said the same," Percival told her.
Morgana shrugged. "Merlin didn't ask me to do this, he's not said anything to me. However, I know Arthur, and I know you. This isn't just about Arthur being king, or you winning favour with Gwen, this is about doing something for yourself."
Percival frowned as he looked down at her. Morgana continued to buckle his armour in place.
"What do you mean?"
She paused, looking up at him steadily. There was sympathy in her gaze, and also practicality.
"You were forced to leave home when you were ten to serve Merlin. It started as a punishment and I know it became something you chose. I know you haven't seen it this way but you've never competed against other knights before."
"I have."
"Only Cenred's, and most of them don't want to now. You've certainly made the other knights think twice about you, and Essetir."
Percival continued to frown and Morgana moved behind him to buckle the last strap.
"What I am trying to say is that you will do yourself, and Arthur, a disservice by thinking that letting Arthur win is the right thing."
Percival didn't say anything. Morgana patted his shoulder and swept away. Percival turned, blushing a little as Gwen came into the room and Morgana left. She turned to give Percival a knowing smirk over Gwen's shoulder. Percival glowered, and Gwen looked startled.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
Percival pulled his face together and Morgana tactfully went away. The knight managed to summon up a smile, which he hoped looked friendly.
"Yes. I'm just getting a lot of stories this morning."
Gwen frowned, processed that and her face smoothed out. "Oh, I haven't got one. I brought you this."
She held up the ribbon, an intricate blend of Cenred's colours, so it matched perfectly with his tunic. She reached up and peeled off her old makeshift token and wrapped the new one around Percival's arm. He let her without comment. As she finished knotting the material, she gave his armour a careful check.
"Where's Evelyn's token?" she asked as she realised his other arm was unadorned.
"Merlin took it," he said bluntly. Gwen's careful checks slowed down, he felt her tug a strap to check it was secure.
"Isn't that a bit excessive?" she asked. Percival sighed.
"He says he's making a point."
"You think he's being excessive."
"A little," Percival said.
Gwen finished her checks and moved to stand in front of him.
"He's doing what he thinks is right."
"That doesn't make him right."
"Nobody can be always right."
"Merlin likes to think he is," Percival snapped. Gwen frowned, leaning away from him slightly. "Sorry," Percival said. Gwen smiled, she reached out to take his upper arms to steady herself as she went on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. Percival blinked, and blushed again.
"Anyway, good luck."
"Thank you. And thank you for the token."
Gwen smiled, looking a little embarrassed, stepping back as Lancelot appeared. Percival glowered. Lancelot ignored that as he asked.
"Are you ready?"
