Chapter Fifty: How could you have come to hate me so? (Is this what you wanted?)
Adam's POV
With the sun dipping beneath the western horizon, I began to question going out tonight. I knew that I had to. I had to find Drake as soon as I could and make it up to him for everything that I'd failed him on. I needed to make things right and tell him that he wasn't a replica of Alexander and that he would never be anything other than himself and my lover. I had to make this right…
But where would he have gotten such an idea? Yes, Alexander and Drake looked alike. They had similar personalities and habits. But Alexander was more of a science and political thinking type of person. Drake was creative, artsy. He made things. Alexander thought of things. They were two completely different people (thank you, Cassidy!). But he didn't know that. He only saw that they were similar, and thus didn't believe in my love for him…
I ran my fingers through my hair, running sweat into my locks. I grimaced softly, wiping at my forehead before drying off the back of my hand on my trousers. I hated the heat, but it was something I had to suffer with to keep serving my people. I sighed softly, looking at the bags of packed food and water that were sitting on Cassidy's bed. Tommy was off talking with other servant boys, getting some laundry done. We would need at least one change of clothes. If we were going to be traveling at night at all, we needed warmer clothes. At the very least, jackets.
Yes, even in Egypt, we have jackets.
I sat down on the edge of Cassidy's bed as the adviser came in. He looked exhausted and worried. I felt the same as much as I didn't want to show it. Why did it have to take hours to get ready? Why did fucking laundry have to take forever?! Cassidy sat down beside me, glancing over in my direction before speaking gently, "It's getting late, Adam… Are you sure you want to go tonight?" He asked.
I sighed again, dragging my fingers through my hair again, "I have to, Cass… I can't chance him getting farther away if we leave tomorrow. As it is I don't even know where to begin looking… He could've gone west, east, south, north… Northwest, southwest, northeast… The options are endless, Cass…" I looked over at him, feeling defeated and weak. I needed my boy… I needed him in my arms and in my life and he was gone because he didn't believe that… I dropped my head into my hands, so sick of crying, but I felt the tears stinging my eyes.
"So take one direction. You and Tommy go one way, send guards out in the other directions. He will be found, Adam, don't worry…" I snapped my head up, feeling my heart cracking.
"I want to be the one to find him, though. I don't want guards to find him, I want to…" I hissed. I wasn't angry in the least. I was distraught. Depressed and desperate to have Drake back. He'd only been gone for a few hours, but those few hours were killing me. If he wasn't found, how could I survive days? Weeks? Years? I shivered, sitting up a little straighter. I wanted to sleep. But I knew I would never sleep until I had him back…
There was a knock at the door and Cassidy and I looked over. A young guard with a boyish face and kind, green eyes was standing there, fidgeting with his hands. He looked nervous, "M-my Pharaoh? A quick word, please?" He requested. I nodded once, motioning for him to enter the room.
He stepped in, bowing once, "M-my Pharaoh, I thought I should inform you… Earlier today, while I was working my shift of the dungeons.. Your love came, requesting to see Bradley, My Pharaoh." My heart cracked in my chest as the mention of Drake being my love, but I tried my best not to show it. I blinked once, staring hard at him. My brain just couldn't process what he'd said, though, and I blinked again, shaking my head.
"Repeat that, son?" I said. He swallowed, looking away from me for a moment before taking a deep breath.
"Your love," another crack, and I forced myself to breathe, "the brunette— Drake?— came, requesting to see your adviser, Bradley. I thought I should inform you of that—" he began to finish, but I shot from my seat on the edge of the bed. He was a well built and tall boy, but I was taller, more muscular, and a hell of a lot more powerful than he was.
"You're just telling me this now?!" I seethed. I didn't want to be angry, but he'd only just now given me information that would've been useful several hours ago. The boy seemed to shrink even lower, staring up at me in fear. He probably thought I was going to strike him down or send him out to work on the pyramids. I didn't blame him, to be honest. If I was in his position, I'd be fearful, too.
"I-I apologize, My Pharaoh…" He whispered. I inhaled slowly, swallowing the pit of rage that was lodged in my throat. My hands clenched into fists at my sides, but I kept them there, forcing the anger back into a tight ball in the bottom of my stomach before I opened my eyes. I took another breath, unclenching my hands.
"Do not apologize, son. I thank you for telling me. Please go back to your duties." I told him as calmly and quietly as possible. His eyes were wide, probably in shock that I didn't hit him at all, and that I'd spoken so calmly to him. He nodded his head, bowing once in respect before turning and rushing out of the room to follow my orders. I heard Cassidy stand from the bed, his footsteps soft as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Adam?" He whispered delicately. My hands were shaking at my sides; I closed my eyes, trying to breathe normally as I thought about all the things that could have been said between Brad and Drake. All the lies that could've been told. All the deceit… Maybe that's why Drake had been so enraged that he tore the library apart, destroyed Alexander's statue and spat such hateful words to me. Maybe Brad had told him something that was exaggerated or untrue.
Or maybe he told Drake the honest truth… Fuck.
"I'm going to kill him," I growled, my eyes snapping open as I pulled out of Cassidy's grasp on my shoulder and storming out of the room. My sandals slapped the stone and I felt rage and adrenaline pumping through my body like a drug. My pace went from a walk to a jog all the way to another dead sprint. Anyone who saw me coming immediately flocked to the walls, clinging to them as I shot passed.
I must've been quite the sight. Full of rage and hurt and running as fast and as hard as I could towards the dungeons. The closer I got, the thinner the groups of people became. There was almost no one down here, and, for that, I was thankful. I didn't want to chance hurting someone or someone trying to stop me. Not that they would even try. Besides, I doubted I would even hear them.
I skidded to a stop long enough to rip the door leading down to the dungeons open before I took off again, flying down the small flights of stairs and skidding around corners. My heart was pounding in my chest the farther down that I went. I passed prisoner after prisoner, all of whom were either silent as I flew or were asleep. Those who were awake stared. The only sound was that of my feet hitting the stones and my breath as I panted lightly.
I slowed my pace to a walk to catch my breath, but my heart wouldn't calm down. I walked down the last, small flight of stairs before turning a corner, charging down the small, narrow hallway to Bradley's door. There was a guard, stationed there. His eyes were dark in the dim lighting. I could tell he was young, but he was serious about his work. I waved him off and he reached across, pulling open the door without a word.
I slid into Brad's room, staring hard as his sleeping figure. I growled, crossing to the glass wall. My hands curled into a fist and I slammed it against the surface. The glass was too thick to crack but the sound was deafening. Brad jolted, turning on his cot to face me. His eyes went wide, his skin paled as he sat up slowly. His face was blank for the longest moment, like he wasn't sure if he should show me respect or sneer at me for hurting my boy.
"What did you tell him?" I snarled, keeping my voice low, dark and cold. He blinked once, a small smirk toying at his lips.
"Whatever do you mean, My Pharaoh?" I growled, punching the glass again. It hurt like hell, but I showed no pain in my face or my eyes.
"No more fucking games, Bradley!" I shouted at him through the glass. The play in his eyes died out and was replaced with shock and fear. I dropped my hand from the glass, uncaring of the bruising that was already beginning to form there as I crossed to the glass door, turning the knob and shoving it open so hard against the stone it cracked, on the verge of shattering. I didn't care though. I wanted to tear him limb from limb…
Brad stumbled off of his cot, curling up in the corner of his cell as much as possible as I stalked towards him. He cowered before me, his eyes wide as he muttered, "M-my Pharaoh, please, think reasonably…" My hand lashed out and I backhanded him across the face. Brad yelped, falling to the floor with one hand on his face. He should've been used to this by now, no? He's only been the fuck toy of ever convict in this fucking place.
"What. Did. You. Tell. Him?" I growled at him, kneeling down and grabbing him by his hair. Brad cried out softly, his hand leaving his face as he clawed at my fist. But I refused to let go of his hair. I was seeing red painting itself over his skin and the thought of making him bleed and staining his skin with his own blood appealed to me more than it should have.
Brad stifled his whimpers, staring up at me with tears in his eyes. Still, though, he did not speak. I snarled, my hand tightening in his hair as I pulled him to his feet. He howled before I slammed his head into the glass wall. His head hit hard enough that he cried out, but not hard enough to knock him out, either. Too damn bad. He would've been better off if he had blacked out.
"TELL ME!" I shouted in his ear, turning him and sending him flying into the cracked glass door. The need to break him and kill him was flowing so fluid and strong in my veins that, in the back of my mind, I was growing scared of myself. Brad stumbled, his arms reaching out to keep him from hitting head-long into the glass. The impact between his body and the stone wall forced the glass to shatter, and I could see pieces digging in and cutting his skin as he fell with the shards to the floor.
Brad whimpered, shaking in the pile of glass as he turned his head, looking up at me. I stepped forward, my frame trembling with rage and he raised a bleeding hand to stop me, "Okay! Okay! I'll tell you, I'll… I'll talk…" He said, his voice weak with defeat.
I stood, towering over him as he dropped his hand. He was gasping with pain, his eyes wary of my every move. He'd never been more afraid of me. Ra, he'd never been afraid of me ever until now. But he had every reason and right to be afraid. For how I was feeling, I would have no remorse killing him myself. But why take away the satisfaction of his death to others who wanted to see him suffer?
"I… I told him that he looked like Alexander… That you didn't care about him because all you saw was your dead lover…" His voice was barely above a whisper. I howled, reaching down and grabbing him by his shirt, lifting him to his feet only to throw him across the room. He tumbled like a rag doll to the floor, rolling over and bumping into the wall. I bent down to the floor, grabbing a thick shard of glass before making my way over to Brad.
His eyes widened further and he tried curling into the wall to get away from me, "Adam… Adam, please! Think about this… Don't do this…" He begged. I reared back and kicked him in the gut as hard as I could. He coughed, doubling over as I knelt down, grabbing him by the throat. He choked, gasping and clawing his nailless fingers into my arms. It did nothing. I got close to his face, close enough that I swore I could smell the scents of those who'd touched him as he touched Drake.
"Killing you would only bring you mercy, Brad. Instead… I pray to Osiris that he finds it within himself to send you where you belong. I hope that every damned and guilty soul destroyed by that of Ammut in the Underworld claims you for their own in the same way you tried claiming Drake; cold, unfeeling, painful, and merciless." I hissed, digging the edge of the shard into his chest. It wasn't deep enough to kill him. Barely more than a scratch. Brad gasped, crying out.
"I hope that Anubis leaves you in the waters, left behind on your voyage," I seethed, carving out hieroglyphics in his skin. I didn't have to look. The word I wanted was burned in the eye of my mind. "I hope that you suffer for all of eternity because no God should show you mercy," I dug a little deeper into his skin, pulling a strangled scream from this throat. I tightened my grip, forcing him to choke it back. His skin was turning pale I was squeezing so hard.
"I hope you burn, Bradley. You vicious, malevolent traitor…" I growled, spitting on his face as I slashed an underline beneath the hieroglyphics that spelled my last word; traitor. Now, when his body began its decent into the deepest places of the Underworld, all those other damned souls will see just how much he failed in this life.
I pulled him forward, slamming him back into the wall before letting go of his throat. He gasped, coughing for air as he collapsed on the ground, pressing one palm to his chest to stop the bleeding and another tenderly at his throat. I dropped the bloodied shard to the ground, turning and leaving the cell. There was no remorse for what I'd done. The only thing left burning in me was the need to find Drake and tell him how sorry I was…
