Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Oh, time has passed you by

-Forgiven, Within Temptation

ShiKai Chapter47: Oedipus Blade

-Flashback: set in the third lifetime of the elements-

"You are pathetic." In the grayness of the dimming night, the woman in white robes glowed with a pure, cold light. "Lingering and hoping. Waiting and dying a little more when she dies."

"It is none of your concern." The zanpakuto's voice was low, harsh with disuse. The pale woman pursed her lips, fingers catching at her long trailing sleeves. "Perhaps it is not. It is your choice to remain alone, to frighten those whom might take you from this empty existence into use. You refuse to be any other's Zanpakuto."

"I believe I said it was none of your concern." There was a hint of frost in the otherwise emotionless tone.

The woman shivered, her expression darkening. In a rustle of layered silk, she had turned her back on the other. "..they will meet in three days." she said almost as if it was an afterthought. "My wielder and she. I believe he is seeking to end his current existence..."

The inhalation of breath was almost silent yet it was still there.

The woman heard it as she began to walk away; a shimmering phantom in the reaches of the insentient darkness. "And whom better than Haretosora to accomplish it? It could've been you."

The undercurrent held truth to it.

Perhaps that which he did not want to face.

Too late his soft growl punctuated the quiet air, as a warning. "Sode no Shirayuki-"

But, the yuki-onna was gone.

-*-Tsukikage Castle-*-

All words possessed meanings. Like feelings spoken of love and tenderness. Kagami understood the concept of emotion. Love was a wonderful thing, to both give and receive.

If only Kei could perceive it as such.

Sitting there in the silent office with the night surrounding the outside and the quiet tikking of the keys; Kagami leaned back in his chair, swiveling from side to side. In the background, almost indiscernible, Op.9 No.2 in E major of the Chopin Nocturnes.

This was the time he favored the most. When the world was quiet, illumination from the gently pulsating moon slanted through the trees. Quiet wrapped around the stone walls allowed his thoughts to settle. To contemplate the burdens he now bore in Kei's absence. In actuality Kagami knew he was a selfish man; longing for another to take the reins as it were. To lead the charge when he was just as capable of doing it as the other.

I don't want her to love him.

It was such a strange, convoluted feeling that he felt toward Kei. One could almost say it was love-perhaps born of dependency. That terrible wondering- like a child's fear of being left alone. Forgotten by its parents. Kagami was afraid that if Kei fell in love with Ichigo Kurosaki she would choose to stay with him, disregarding the laws of the spirit world. When did they ever give a damn about breaking the eternal principles of life and death?

Kagami believed it foolish for anyone to consider them attached to the notion of the unbreakable commandment. The Elements defied everything stable and every particle of matter as it could be bent to their will at the slightest whim.

Speaking of matter... he double-clicked on an icon on the tray. The Photo Viewer opening with old sketches he'd had Kimiko scan earlier in the day. They were somewhat faded, he saw, scrolling down through the list. The charcoal drawings belonged to a set of concepts he had drawn up for the soulless swords over a hundred years before. In one row it was almost entirely dominated by the twin-horned guard detail of Hakuya while on the next glittered the four petal flower- design of Gekkouha's sheathe.

"My child though I can never sire any. The only ones I can have are those created by own hands..."-

The words he had spoken such a long time ago, rung true now. Kagami had never been bitter about it. Because he hadn't ever fallen in love he didn't know what it felt like to want to create a symbol of that emotion with another. Oh, he had felt love.

But, the affection had always been for others. Something he sensed once in a while depending on the intensity of the person and those specific emotions.

Frowning mildly now, he lifted up the mug of cooled mint tea, taking a small sip as he reached the next subpage within the folder. A square guard forming a black Manji and detail of a red and black diamond patterned hilt was at the top of the page beside the slanted old script.

"Tensa... Zangetsu-?" he recognized Kei's distinctive almost- what Kazeatari said was chicken scratch but what Fire insisted was Calligraphy. This was her drawing. Dimly in the recesses of his memory, he recalled why the name of Kurosaki's Zanpaku-to and main attack seemed familiar.

Kei once wielded..his sword. Strange.. Kagami scrolled down to find another rougher depiction. The outline was shaded, the edge of the cloak lifted to flow around the slender legs. The moment was caught in time, during he assumed when they had separated to draw off the members of the Stealth Force.

That sword..must have two forms. He remembered now with startling clarity the young boyish male whom was the complete opposite of the older, more haggard looking warrior that followed Kurosaki around. Shikai and Bankai, was that it? Kurosaki never had to release the shikai state so that meant that Zangetsu was forever in it. But when, Kei had him...

Kagami desperately tried to recall what it was she had said.

"His name is Tensa Zangetsu. This is the ban-kai release."

The sword never went back to shikai. That explains why... Kagami was aware of the tracks changing. Soon the haunting aria of Beethoven's moonlight sonata resonated in melancholy splendor. I wonder...if she knows. His eyes drifted back over the sketch. For a long moment he recalled a campfire and the reflection of the flickering flames dancing across the clear polished surface of a mirror.

"..you don't have to keep it if you don't want it. I don't even know why I'm doing this..."

Ripples broke out over the surface of the solidified water. Two fingers drew across it, the invisible barriers of time frozen upon the purest form of Soryu's power.

The hand that stretched forth was capped by the ragged ends of a sleeve. The fingers were slender, blunt-tipped that curled possessively about the object. Kagami nodded once to show he understood.

"All you require is one droplet of her blood to change it into blood crystal."

Kagami leaned back in his chair, rubbing tiredly at the bridge of his nose. "I wonder if he still has it..?"

-*-World of memory-*-

"I'm sorry...for what Rukia said." The eyes that had closed in contentment, fluttered.

"Mm..what?" His fingers never stopped stroking her cheek.

"I know you heard us." Ichigo gazed down at her, his gaze filled with tenderness. "She had no right to say those things about you." She shifted, her hand rising to clasp his wrist. Kei softly kissed the curve of his palm, her voice reverberating like a whisper against his skin. "It doesn't bother me so much because I already know Kuchiki despises my presence in your life."

My heart- he thought, but didn't say. "But, still, I can't easily forgive her! Soulless? What the hell does that mean! You have a soul!"

"Ichigo..." Kei murmured quietly.

"If you didn't..I-I'd still..." his faltered, his voice failing him. "I-I mean I.." what the hell am I so nervous about? Just say it! "Kei.." she become still, staring up at him with curious lavender orbs. He had come to notice they darkened when she was upset, the black ring spiking through the violet. Normal eyes of humans didn't do that. But that just meant she was unique...not an oversight!

Taking in a deep breath that cleared his head a little; Ichigo firmly clasped her face in his hands. "Kei, I'll never leave you."

'..I'll never leave you...'

In the recesses of his subconscious mind, the thoughts continued in his own voice.

'..Nothing will ever separate us-I won't let it!'

Yet there was an underlying strength to it. A resolve that shone through despite the nervous fluttering in his chest.

" Nothing will ever separate us-I won't let it!" Still clasping her face, Ichigo drew tiny circles on the slender ridge of her cheekbones. One hand slowing slipping down to become enmeshed in her loose hair.

"I love you.." Ichigo lowered his face only they were only inches apart. Her intoxicating scent filled his senses, his mouth slick with saliva, ached for her taste. Perhaps something of what he felt, a darkness in his gaze or the flick of his tongue across her bottom lip; distressed her.

Her eyes widened. The black ring had increased, spiking fine striations through the aubergine.

Rather than guilt fill his being, a different kind of sensation gripped his heart.

He was sick of being teased; now he would simply take what he wanted.

As his eyes closed, in the instant before his lips captured hers in a fierce, demanding kiss.

The voice said something.

"My dearest-.."

And it echoed- not in his mind.

The blood drained from her face.

"..sister."

Horror flooded her being.

Again and again his tongue thrust crudely into her mouth, any pretence of naivety had fled, replaced by a deeper, hungrier kind of want. Fear coiled like a spring as the male part of him nudged her belly.

He kissed me like this-

Kei felt his nails rake a burning path up her thigh, her skirt shoved violently up.

-hungrily, achingly, as though he wished to devour me-

Ichigo moved between her legs, his intent clear.

-No- No-

His hand curled around her breast, slowly pumping it.

"Stop it!" The words tore from her bruised mouth. Her eyes wild with fright snapped open, her hands that had fisted into the grass stalks rose, pushing hard against his chest. Confusion suffused his flushed face as they broke apart.

"K-Kei?"

It was his voice again.

She stumbled back, one hand outstretched. "Stay away from me!"

Hurt registered in his amber eyes before being quickly replaced by anger. "Is what I feel so hard to accept?"

She flinched, her expression crumpling. "I didn't-"

"Gods! You're like a fucking tease!" Ichigo raged, his mouth working into a snarl. "You're all over me one minute and then the next screaming at me not to touch you!" Furiously he plowed his hands through his hair, the spikes crowning his head in a fiery golden halo.

"Ichi-" The hand she had thrown up as a warding off gesture now extended placatingly.

"I just don't know what to think about you anymore!"

Kei shut her eyes, swallowing the bitterness in her mouth.

"I can't help it if I have needs- that I want to make love to you.." His eyes were pleading now, carrying the thread of rejection burning brightly in the irises, his calloused hands were open palm up to her. "But, I don't-" his voice caught. "I don't want to be the cause of more pain for you."

For a time she was utterly taken aback. No one could take everything she did and still be so tender. So gentle even. He had to be lying. Her surety of this faltered yet still, catching sight of his expression. "Ichigo..it's not you. Not you." She shook her head from to side. All the while sensing his hard gaze softening the longer he looked at her.

"What.." Kei was almost afraid of the answer he might give."Tell me what did you mean when you called me-"The grass field shimmered under her peripheral gaze, a dark gray flagstone floor wavering into being.

"T-Tou-" Was this what Touda was...seeing?

Ichigo and the field near the sea melted into a narrow corridor. Red wallpaper with ornate scrollwork medallions in black. She could feel her heart in her throat. Covered paintings lined the walls. But the one-

-before her. Left only the impression of rain and a figure on the ground.

A sudden noise made her twist around.

Kei's eyes widened as the other's did. "You're-"

Something heavy collided with the side of her head.

-*-Getsu-ten's mindscape-*-

It was different when she awoke. Instead of grains of pale sand and grasses that tickled her skin; soft bedding and a firm mattress was beneath her. Where-? As she puzzled in the yet again change of situation, her eyelids fluttered open to a room she recognized as rightly being within the confines of the castle in Getsu-ten's mindscape.

Kei started up, her vision swaying in the abrupt movement.

"Don't move." The distinctly male voice carried an undercurrent to it. One that she mistakenly believed to be despise. "You're-" Kei's eyes widened at the figure in the tattered cloak. Ichigo's Zanpaku-to. Zangetsu..

An uncomfortable silence descended.

She twined her hands together, her brow knitting. The spirit faced away from her as if he couldn't bear the sight of her. "D-did you bring me here?" Kei had difficulty speaking, feeling the disapproval grow thicker in the air. The sigh heaved his chest, his gaze straight ahead.

"Yes."

"..thanks." She found her cheeks coloring a little, her voice small. Her hand as had been accustomed to doing centuries before, rose, fingers sliding through the slight rise of the layered strands, searching for the tiny beads. Then, she remembered. Her fingers curled, falling back to her lap. A sudden, quiet rustling made her glance to the Zanpaku-to.

He had withdrawn from somewhere, the cherry hairpin.

"It must still exist!" she cried, scrambling up from the bed. Forgetting her momentary unease, their hands brushed as she took it from him. He recoiled from her touch. Kei couldn't keep the brief flash of hurt from tightening her mouth. Averting her face, she stroked the slender stick, feeling the warmth the metal had retained.

"I had lost it a long time ago." She smiled a little, clasping it to her chest. "I-I'm so happy it remains somewhere in the world. Maybe I'll find it one day."

A short pause. "I'm sure you will."

Surprised at the slightest change in the sword's tone; Kei pretended not to have noticed it. Her gaze darted around the room. "What happened to Ichigo?"

"He had to leave this plain of inner reality." Zangetsu answered stonily. The coldness had returned. Kei wondered at it. Did his Zanpaku-to resent her presence? Perhaps find her a threat? Her lips pursed, contemplatively her thoughts turned morose as they drifted back to the previous conversation with Ichigo. And...and that. What he had said...

How? How is it possible that he knew those things? I just don't understand! Frowning now, Kei abruptly spun about to find the sword had been looking at her. "Zangetsu-"

He turned away.

"Swear to me that you will not lie." Kei took in a deep breath, before continuing. "If you do I..." he's one of mine, isn't he? She tried to recall the clash of the sword's reiatsu in the forest outside Arcadia. "..I will punish you severely." There was a flash of something in the slanted gaze he gave her.

Kei was unconscious of balling her fists, "I know you don't like me ...but try to understand. If I am Ichigo's choice..." her expression softened. "Then you must accept it."

Briefly then, he assented with a slight dip of his head, the unruly dark locks falling forward. Something in the motion, in the tilt of his face, in the hooded glance of his eyes...was reminiscent of another.

She took a step closer, her gaze riveted to his countenance; forgetting momentarily of Ichigo. "You.."

It cannot be.

The Zanpaku-to was impassive at her approach. Presenting her with only a sliver of his profile.

Kei wanted to see his eyes. "Please look at me."

His whole body stiffened.

"Zangetsu." The faintest hint of warning colored her even tone.

The sword remained motionless yet rigid.

"Look. At me." Her reiatsu filled the confines of the room as a more tangible threat. His proud form didn't bow as a lesser might have under such pressure. Kei briefly considered lashing him with it to teach him never to disobey then thought better of it. Such methods were unrefined.

And besides..

Her lips compressed, her hands lifting to lay on the sides of his face. Beneath her palms, the slight hair felt silken rather than bristly as a human male's would. Carefully, she turned him to look at her, fingers sliding up to grasp the edges of the tinted shades. Slowly she lifted them off, her breath catching.

Those eyes~!

"Tensa-?" Kei cried.

-TBC-

AN: I had more but some parts still needed quite a bit of work, so I cut it down.

Thanks for reading :)

No flames-haters-stupid comments!

Reviews appreciated :)

omake-

Kagami holding a wrenching and twisting Hakuya in his hands: "Keiko! Talk to it, please! Find out what's wrong with it!"

Kei happens to be passing by: "It doesn't have a soul."

Kagami =.= "well, obviously it has some sort of intelligence! Now hurry!"

Kei "..."

Hakuya stops rattling around: "..."

Kagami in motionless suspense.

Kei comes back to consciousness: "..."

Kagami impatient: "well? What did it say?"

Kei: "It said it wants to cut your head off."

Kagami DX "Don't joke about things like that!"

Kei: "I wouldn't."

Kagami: "..."

Kazeatari: "How can it move around? I mean I've never seen a sword try and move on its own."

Kei: "They can." Frowning. "It's kind of difficult, but it's not impossible."

Kazeatari o.o

Kagami O.O

What they're imagining is a row of swords hopping after her shadow.

Kei hands Hakuya back to Kagami. immediately Hakuya senses the change and starts jerking violently around. "I'd be careful, if I were you. Hakuya also said that once it figures out how to escape the sheathe, it's coming for your neck."

Kagami D:

Kaze: -.- has already lost interest.

And that is why to this day, Kagami sleeps with no less than Sazanami's Genei barrier and Sazanami herself to watch over him.

Kei unfortunately didn't learn the lesson of why Kido and blood magic barriers are so important (Toya can attest to that) and is also why she gets molested quite often when she's asleep.

*See below for example*

Ichigo: "GET THE HELL OFF HER, YOU DIRTY OLD MAN!"

Zangetsu is highly affronted not to mention (Tensa whom thinks Ichigo doesn't deserve the Kouseitan'i of Fire)

When Zangetsu doesn't immediately comply; Ichigo lunges for him...

-Missing the sword's cloak by inches.

Ichigo yelling: "Zangetsu! I demand an explanation!" Meanwhile his hand for some strange reason has landed on something-warm-round and perfectly squeezable.

A small noise makes both sword and wielder look down. Sleepy violet eyes are open and staring up.

Kei ~.~ "Ichigo..."

Ichigo in his usual impulsive idiotic way landed halfway on top of her... blushes nervously. "Um..good morning, Kei."

Kei DX "Your hand."

Ichigo not understanding: "Wha~?"

Zangetsu of course sees but perceives it better for his upstart wielder to get his just desserts.

Kei deadpanning (remember she can't see Zanpaku-to spirits like Kagami, so she thinks Ichigo's just being a perv) "Is on my boob."

Ichigo still doesn't understand: "Eh?"

...a while later...

Ichigo D: "I thought you said she didn't know Hakuda!"

Kagami -.-; "I never said that."

Kei still disgusted by the species known as Ichigo Kurosaki: "I know it, I just don't LIKE it. Kendo is much more elegant. Hmph."

-Omake-

Kanzaki: "what are they doing?" Points to Kei and Kazeatari hovering over a tiny phone screen.

Kagami picking up after video shoot: "They're watching that one anime episode with Chrono and Rosette- I believe it's called Chrono Crusade. Anyway there's this certain scene with the main characters-and they know the dialogue by heart." -.-

Kei and Kazeatari say in unison: "I'll never live a day longer than you!"

Kanzaki ~.- "That is so sappy."

Kei glowering: "only a man would say that since they only communicate with their dicks."

Kanzaki D: "girls aren't supposed to use that kind of language!"

Kagami -.-; "Give it a rest."

Kazeatari suddenly has a bright idea and shares it with Kei.

Toya whom is still shirtless from the scene in the video is pounced upon.

Kei and Kazeatari say in unison again: "Tell me you'll never live a day longer me!"

Toya o.o "eh?" some hair is sticking up.

Takara hears and scuttles off to find one of the other guys to profess his undying love-er- and nabs Akashi from unplugging his guitar.

Kei: "Toya! Please?" Gives him teary eyes.

Kazeatari does the same.

Toya: "uh..um. Okay." Takes both their hands, clasping them firmly.

Kei and Kaze are very excited.

Toya is serious: "because you are everything to me, I swear to the heavens I will never live a day longer than you."

Kei and Kaze are silent then both burst out: "KYAHAAAAA!" And jump on him.

Kanzaki =_= "that was silly, but why not me?"

Kagami -.- : "Thank the Gods it wasn't me."

Ren shifts camera over to Akashi and Takara.

Akashi: "Uh.."

Takara looks hopeful.

Akashi tries: "I won't live a day longer than you. I swear it."

Takara: "Kyaaa!" Then adds sadly. "Too bad it wasn't Ichimaru-san. But, oh well."

- behind the scenes video ends

Kagami: "so, did you see what you need to tell to Keiko?"

Ichigo: "What?"

Kagami reminds patiently: "I'll never live a day longer than you."

Ichigo scoffs: "That's so silly! Only softies say that! It'd ruin my reputation forever!"

Kagami =.= "I'm beginning to think you don't have a single romantic bone in your body."

Ichigo proudly: "damned straight."

Kei appears behind him DX "oh. So, I guess you think I'm stupid, is that it?"

Ichigo miraculously stays calm: "No. I would never think that of you." Turns in spare desk chair. "Kei, I would never say that to you. But, I will say this, I'll be with you for a very long time."

Kei -.- isn't amused. At all.

Kagami -_- thinking: Kurosaki is such a fool. Next!

Kei abruptly turns around and whips out cell, speed dialing a number: "Oh, hey! Stark? Yeah...I'll take you up on your offer. How's tomorrow at six? Oh..it's alright, we'll leave Lilinette with Kaze."

Ichigo XC is sputtering incoherently.

Kei isn't finished yet and dials another one: "Hey, it's me. I was thinking about it and yeah I do have some info on Kurosaki Ichigo. Are you interested, Ulquiorra? Okay..Wednesday then. I know this little place in Arcadia that serves German type food. Meet you there."

Ichigo is clawing the air still sputtering.

Kagami fishes in drawer and holds up a scrap of paper with yet another number.

Kei takes it, dialing: "Uryu? May I call you that?" Giggles sweetly. "Remember how you told me that you were having problems with the Latin language? How about we make a date..I mean a study date and I'll help you go over it. Thursday's fine. Yeah..dinner sounds great! Okay, see you then, bye!" CX

Kagami withdraws from his pocket a tiny mirror-like item: "Since there's no working phones in Kurosaki's mindscape; I bound some of his reiryoku to the water mirror. He said to talk to him whenever you had a chance."

Kei CX "Thanks!" A few minutes later XD "Friday is now taken!"

Ichigo: "ET TU, ZANGETSU? URYU!"