"Resistance"
It was curious.
I spent days and weeks wondering how it was possible to be left so wanting. To love someone so much. As I watched him sleep, or felt the thready rhythm of his heart, I found myself wanting more. I wanted to know every last thing about him and his locked mind. I wanted to know his every expression, what each little expression correlated with. My blood trait was advantageous in getting to know someone as closed off as Itachi. Only I knew this part, the sweet side that could evoke powerful, almost crippling feelings in my heart that left my world empty until he was next in my arms. Only I knew how to love Itachi Uchiha.
Lonely and watching Salix as she yelled out the different scientific names of each and every living thing around her, I waited against a tree beyond Konoha's gates. Salix would make these faces sometimes that made me just crumble. She was so much like her father and she would never know it. I wondered if heart shattering love was one of those things that could only grow in extremely harsh environments. Like those relentless flowers that grew from inhospitable cliff faces. Did it feel this way for everyone? Or were we the only tortuously lucky two people to ever experience such soul crushing love?
The next time I saw Itachi wasn't for several months after taking down ASEB and bringing Hiruko into custody. At that point I was significantly larger around the middle and a little more stressed out. An enormous facility was created underground specifically to contain him. For some reason I got the feeling that he enjoyed the hardship that went into his containment.
Responsibility for Hiruko's discarded test subjects and the people harmed in the process fell on my head. Being the medium through which anyone could communicate with my brother was hard, especially in my delicate hormonal rage. And so, just as I always did, I waited for Itachi to arrive.
Soundless footfalls came to a halt above me, shadowing over my face. I smiled up into the sunshine that surrounded his outline. Light shone across dark eyes, giving them depth. He gave a small smile and mine fell slightly. He was not wearing any of his typical garb. Rather, he looked handsome in a black tunic, equally dark pants that tied off at the ankle and light grey sandals with shin and forearm guards of the same pale color. He almost looked like ANBU. It brought back some pleasant, but mostly unpleasant, memories. But I think I know why he decided to alter his appearance today of all days.
"Hiruko wants to speak with you." I admitted as if the words were poison in my mouth.
The last thing I wanted in the world was Itachi and Hiruko in the same room without adult supervision. Both of them wanted this, so I caved and let them have their way; kicking and screaming the whole time, of course. Itachi thought of a way around the safeguards holding Hiruko. He would transform into Kaz. If I walked in with my ANBU little brother then no one would bat an eyelash. Except for maybe Yua, but I knew and trusted her well enough not to raise any alarms. Itachi didn't feel the same but I made him promise to trust me in this instance.
The plan went without a hitch. Until Itachi asked me to stay outside. I had been preparing to let him go in alone, but I wasn't quite convinced that it was the smart thing to do. It didn't help that my emotions would whip from one to the next at any given moment.
"Hell no!" I warned lowly, gripping his elbow to hold him from passing through the magnetized barrier, glancing over my shoulder to see no one watching us down the well lit hallway. "I'm coming with you. No more lies and hiding, remember? You promised."
"Katsue," He pleaded in a voice that sounded far too calm to be Kaz's, gently circling my hands in his, "I'm hiding nothing. I'd like to speak to him alone for reasons that don't involve you." His eyes dropped to my bulbous belly then blinked back to my eyes, "or the kids."
For some stupid, unfounded reason my heart went soft when he said those words. I believed him and let him pass through without an argument. The whole time I held open the barrier I wondered why I was always such a fool for him. Especially when Itachi, in the form of my baby brother, disappeared through the other side of the false door with no protection from the monster within.
Beyond the barrier on the other side of a seemingly blank metal wall was a brightly lit chrome room. It was dome shaped with rounded pegs reaching from the ceiling every four feet. Electricity sparked from each peg sporadically screaming and lighting the bright room to white blindness. Each footstep sounded amplified through the room's vast expanse., echoing forever against its walls. There, in the center of the dome was a blonde man who's long hair stood like static at the ends to the ceiling. He was staring ahead, typically emotive face a blank neutral.
"Hello not-Kaz." He spoke quietly into the echolalia of the orchestral dome. "I was wondering when you'd visit my humble abode."
Bands of chromatic metal encased his arms, forehead, across his chest, hips, knees and ankles. All held him in place on a metal chair. To my knowledge, these were all magnets. Every surface was magnetized repeatedly several times each day. In this position of submission he appeared tired and serene.
His lips barely moved as he spoke, "You have questions, I assume, otherwise you would never set foot in here." Dull blue eyes interspersed with shimmering bubbles of white around the pupil turned in my direction. My eyes averted from his, remembering the way he was able to dig through my psyche and destroy my mind from the inside. It took a long time to fully recover from his ability and I was unwilling to endure that again, especially with my impending death on the near horizon.
From our last encounter I naturally moved away from his gaze, though I knew he couldn't use his technique again. Not without some assistance in his bound state.
Something akin to pity reached my heart, but was quickly squashed when I remembered what Katsue had said about our very sick unborn child.
"My son," I started to say, the very word lodging itself in my throat. "What did you do to him?"
Hiruko's eyes didn't hide the disappointment at my words. Difficult as it was not to act on a deep animalistic need to harm him as retribution, my mind remained clear. I had seen the ultrasounds, I had seen the damage. The small male fetus that would eventually grow into my son was deformed, terribly deformed. I needed to know what could be done to fix the damage forced upon him before I died.
"I think you know what he is." Hiruko's voice sounded frail, far less lively than the last we spoke. "I wanted to mimic my ability, so, I played with his genes until something worked. Evidently that came with a few... side effects."
"Be specific."
His lids fell slightly, bored of my presence. "I'm not entirely sure. There's no way to tell until his own chakra starts emerging."
That would be soon, Katsue was seven months along. "What will I learn from his chakra signature?"
"Oh, you'll know." A giant grin broke out over his face. "It'll be hard to miss."
I gave up this useless line of questioning. It was obvious Hiruko wasn't going to give anything away unless I hurt him, which I couldn't do in this form.
"That technique, the Doppelgänger jutsu..." I began my second set of questions, but my words trailed. It felt shameful to ask about such a technique.
Though he did not look my way, he gave another broad smile when he realized the question. "I was wondering when you'd ask." Tangled and restrained behind magnetized metal bands, he looked helpless. I knew better than to make such an assumption of Hiruko. "You want to know if it's possible to regenerate entirely, correct?" I stood close, but not too close, enough space remained between us that I could react in time to keep him from the barrier if he broke the restraints.
Several months earlier I was furious that he was permitted to live. Katsue and I discussed the options thoroughly. She was under the command of the Fifth to keep him alive. Her mission and mine were entirely at odds and I was unhappy to relent. But now, seeing the subdued dullness of his expression, I knew it was the right choice. As long as he was secure he could be used to create new technology. To which he complied willingly.
According to Katsue he reveled in the ability to create new devices for Konoha so long as he could see them being used for the sole purpose of communication. Something about him shifted once his ability was cut off. He was bound to a complex code that remained from his years as a child soldier. He decided to give his life to keep people informed of their lives and decisions. He created some new technology that connected each device through an invisible interface. I didn't quite understand how it worked, but I did appreciate receiving one of the first prototypes from Katsue. We could communicate, no matter how limited. Even if it was only a few strings of sentences every few days, it was a blessing to hear from my lover as we both traveled across opposite ends of the world.
These days we were more busy than ever. My missions took me away from her for longer than I'd like as Katsue became the liaison between Konoha and the sovereign force of Hiruko. She forced him to find a solution to the problems he caused for those left without their blood traits. I was happy to know that she chose to make Ebi her home for the time being. The commute drained her, but Kaz was able to help. He knew how to use his brother's technique, perhaps not as well, but he could teleport people if he needed.
Strange blue eyes narrowed with upward amusement. "My answer depends on whether or not you'd be willing to help me with something."
"I don't negotiate with those possessing an unsound mind."
He laughed a little, thinking it was a joke. "Hmm, well then I guess I don't know how to regenerate people." He winced when he realized he'd given himself away, "shit, I mean-"
"So you have mastered the jutsu. What is the medium necessary for regeneration?"
Hiruko sighed heavily, throaty; angry with himself. "No one should have power over death, not even you."
"Yet you believe you should?"
"Did I fucking stutter? No. One. Should. Including myself. Gods if I have to repeat myself one more fucking time..." His head pitched forward. The probe in his brain would pulse if he became too angry, cutting off his abilities once more. It was unnerving to learn that he knew how to recuperate his blood trait even with the probe implanted inside of him. Annoyed eyes faded to his usual pale green. "But, if there's anyone who deserves a second chance, it would be you." The admission was heartfelt. "Your son needs someone who understands the pressure of power. I didn't understand until I was tied up in this place with the world's energy locked away." That peaceful serenity fell over his face again, lifting the corners of his lips just a little. "It feels... Pure."
"Then tell me how."
Mint eyes locked with mine. "A full resurrection cannot be accomplished without a human sacrifice." My gut feeling was correct. "Disgusting stuff, not for the faint of heart. And I've got to say it's extremely imperfect. But, it does pull a soul back into a body. One downside is that the body may not work the way you expect."
"What do you mean?"
The very edge of his smile quirked higher, giving his face a broken, uneven appearance. "You'll just have to see."
At that, I took my leave of the Hiruko, speaking over my shoulder as I walked away. "I will not sacrifice a life for my own."
Hiruko watched my back with an unfathomable expression, a small wistful smile on his lips. "I figured you might say something stupid like that."
...
Katsue's hands were on me the moment I returned from Hiruko's cell. She must have felt the dejection in my heart. Speaking with Hiruko solved none of my problems, perhaps burying me under more issues than before. "What happened? Are you okay? Did he do something dumb?"
I shrugged her off and continued down the hall without waiting. Pairs of eyes followed me, Sora and Yua looked to each other then to Katsue.
"What's eating him?" Senji rolled his shoulders, glaring after Kaz's narrow form. I gave a lame smile and waddled after, also glaring at his back.
Once outside, Itachi swept us away into the woods.
Wincing from a hard kick inside, Itachi's hands dropped over my round belly in an attempt at soothing the small beast inside. He looked haunted.
I craned to look at his face under his long bangs. "Hey," I touched his cheek to get his attention, "what happened?"
"I hoped to learn more about our," his lids fell as he slid his palms over our unborn son, "situation." I could feel heartache flowing from him in torrents, so I gave him a break for telling me his conversation had nothing to do with me or the kids. His thumbs moved over a small, hard dome that poked from my belly, it was our son's small head. Itachi 's eyes fell closed, "Instead I found more troubles."
Sighing, I smiled a little. "Isn't that always the way with you and me?"
Black, forceful eyes lifted to meet mine, "I can't let you go through this alone, not again."
I gave another weak, reassuring smile, "You have to do what you have to do, no matter how much it hurts."
"Don't placate me, tell me how you really feel."
Taken back by his frankness my brows went low. "That is how I feel. I want you to do what you think is right. Not just for me, but for everyone. I'd be selfish to ask anything else. Of course I want you here with me, to help with Salix and the little guy. But that's not realistic. The world's crazy, you can't always get what you want. I already conceded living in Ebi until Konoha isn't such a hot zone." My thumb ran under his eye, seeing the muted pain that resided there. The thought that our children wouldn't be Konoha citizens killed him. "You can't solve this one, not this time. Leave restoration to the living."
His fingers wrapped around mine, holding them to his cheek, sliding our hands down his throat to his chest to feel the pulse of his heartbeat. "I am living."
Wasn't that always the way with Itachi? Until his last heartbeat I knew he would do everything in his power to fix the entire world. He stretched himself so thin that he was becoming transparent. Even his emotions grew clearer on his face when he was near me, he wasn't afraid of blowing his cover anymore. I knew every last gory detail of his missions. I knew that he only ever wanted what was best for his people. He was dedicated to Konoha, just as he was dedicated to me.
A hard, static kick came from inside. I doubled over. Itachi's hands coddled me, holding my upper arms tightly to keep me from falling. His voice came in a soft, nervous huff in my ear, "How can I leave you in this condition?"
I winced up at him, "Don't worry about me. I'm tough enough to take down the head of ASEB, I'm strong enough to take a few kicks from a baby."
He looked like pride and sadness as he leaned to kiss my forehead.
"UCHIHA!"
A loud tenor screamed through my skull, no one else could hear the ringing voice that shattered my concentration. Electric squeals screamed from the center of my brain, causing me to flinch. No one else noticed. It was important not to let anyone distract me now. I needed to keep this confrontation with Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura as quick and civil as possible. Otherwise I'd have to hurt them badly. With this screaming in my ears it was making it impressively difficult to remain focused.
"ITACHI!"
Blinking hard to rid myself of the impending migraine, I realized who that voice belonged to. Kaz Kyusho was in my head and something about that felt foreboding.
"SHE'S IN LABOR!"
Heart stopping adrenaline spiked. Kisame and I did what we could to make quick work of them. I took a punch from Kakashi, but at least I avoided having to take Naruto captive.
Then, in a disorienting light a few minutes later, I left the forest and a furious Kisame for somewhere far more clinical.
...
A white haired ANBU stood a few feet away, drips of sweat dragging down his hairline. Teleportation took much more out of Kaz than it did Hiruko. I saw a bed next to a window, blinds drawn. A lump with a tuft of long white hair poked from under the blanket. I took a step forward only to have Kaz push my shoulder back with a remorseful frown.
"Listen, I wanted to get you here sooner but with everything that happened there wasn't time." He started to explain, shaking his head slowly. "She's not doing too well. They have her on all kinds of drugs to stop the bleeding."
Fear shot a cold barb through my heart. The bleeding? "What happened?"
"The baby was fused with her uterine wall. She almost bled out, it's a good thing her best friend is a doctor." Kaz must have sensed my fear as he explained gently, "There was a lot of blood, but the little guy made it through." I didn't stop staring at him until he told me the only thing that weighed on my mind in that moment, "Kat is okay, too."
My eyes scanned the room and I listened for weak, newborn screams. "Where is he?"
"Surgery." Again, he sounded apologetic. "He's all messed up, man. His throat is fused shut, same with his ears and nose. The docs have to implant tubes just so he can breathe."
I moved past Kaz and found myself sitting on the side of Katsue's bed, holding her hand in mine, pressing my forehead to her face. Her knuckles were soft against my lips. She was so strong. She always thought she was so weak, and that I was strong. But that wasn't true. We were strong in different ways. I wished she could see herself the way everyone else did. And I didn't realize I had spoken this aloud until I saw a smile cross her sleepy lips.
"Hey brand new daddy." Her voice was groggy, her face was pale and the undersides of her eyes were violet from the blood loss. "He's beautiful. Looks just like you." She was falling back to sleep quickly. I let her, pressing my lips to her temple.
I woke a few hours later to a soft voice speaking. "I love you, so much more than you'll ever know Yugen."
I rolled to the side, wincing the whole way to look at Itachi as he spoke sweetly to our newly named son. Itachi smiled up at me gently, sheepishly as if for permission to name the small person. I smiled back, assuring, "I like it."
He lifted Yugen's little body to his lips and kissed his soft little face the first of many times that day. Yugen would never appreciate the gentle way Itachi held him, or the way he just fell in love with his son. He'd never know the sacrifices his parents made, or the strength it took to persevere through their struggles. He would only hear stories. He heard stories of his mother's enslavement and subsequent rebellion. He heard stories about his father, how he gave up so much to prove his devotion to his village, his bloodline, and his family. But he was not able to learn these things first hand.
Itachi was killed shortly after he met Yugen and, somehow, I had to learn how to raise a very special little boy on my own.
