Okay, this is my last one for the night. It's kinda boring, but it covers some touchy subjects that could be triggering. I tried not to go into too much detail, but just take caution.

Stargazer1364: I wouldn't go jinxing them just yet. But something is coming, but I'm not telling what or when it's going to happen.

Enjoy!

I jolted awake when Steve's alarm went off. I hadn't been dreaming, which was an unusual change. Steve and I had moved around, Steve ending up on his back, while I was on my side, my back to him. I felt the bed shift as he turned the alarm off before he rolled back over. One of his arms slipped under my neck, the other wrapping around my waist so we were spooning again. He kept a distance between our hips, but I could still feel the warmth radiating off him.

"Aren't you going for your run?" I asked, shifting a little closer to him.

"It can wait." He murmured, nuzzling the back of my head.

I laced my fingers with his, holding his hand to my chest as I snuggled down, falling back asleep. I woke up what felt like five minutes later when Steve's phone rang. Both of us groaned, Steve letting my hand go so he could roll over to pick it up.

"Hello?" Silence. "An hour?" I rolled onto my back, my head laying on his arm still. "Okay, I'll be there." He hung up, tossing his phone back on the nightstand. He sighed, running a hand over his face.

"Another mission?" I asked, looking up at him from the corner of my eye.

He rolled over so he was on his side, leaning over me, his free hand going to my waist. I cupped his cheek as he leaned down, pressing his lips against mine.
"I really wanted to spend the day in bed with my best girl, but SHIELD can't even give me that." He said, bumping his nose against mine gently.

"Hey, you could be saving a lot of lives going on this mission to wherever you're going, to do whatever it is you're going to do."

He laughed before pressing his lips against mine again. His kiss got more and more passionate, his tongue darting out to lick along my bottom lip. I gave him access, his body moving over mine as we explored each other. My hands tangled in his soft hair as his hand slid down my waist to my hip. We broke away, panting, our foreheads leaning together.

"Don't worry." I said, running my thumbs over his cheekbones. "I'll still be here when you get back."

He kissed me softly one last time before getting out of bed, grabbing his uniform from the closet. I watched as he moved around the room, grabbing things and sticking them in his duffle bag. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I'll see you in a few days, doll, okay?"

I blushed a little at the pet name, but nodded, curling up in his bed as he left, listening as the front door shut, the lock clicking into place. It seemed like when everything was going right, we'd get interrupted. I sighed, pulling his sheets tighter around me and burying my face in his pillow. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I thought about everything that had happened over the past few hours. It had started with a nightmare, and now he was calling me doll, all in the matter of a few hours. But it was perfect.

It became routine for us, Steve spending as much time as he could with me when he wasn't on a mission. We usually ended up making out on the couch. We never went further, Steve not one for pushing too far. He was such a gentleman. I talked to my dad every week as well. He'd keep me updated on everything, and I'd tell him about life with Steve. He still asked if I'd slept with him yet, which I reassured him that no, Captain America hadn't tarnished what was left of his daughter's honor. Granted I would probably be the one instigating if it ever happened. Steve was too much of a gentleman. And then there were the flashbacks.

It was a miracle I'd gotten as far as I did with Steve before they started. We'd been together almost five months, living together for six, when I'd wanted to take things a step further. But as soon as Steve even got close to getting my shirt off, it started. It got hard to breathe as images of what happened flashed through my mind. I couldn't bring myself to shake them, the panic setting in as it suddenly became Loki instead of Steve. I'd get sick to my stomach and always ended up ruining the moment.

Then the doubts started seeping in. Would Steve really want to stay with a girl who couldn't do more than kiss? Hell, I couldn't even get my shirt off, let alone go further than that. I mean, we slept in the same bed most nights when he was home, curling around each other, a mess of limbs, always having to be connected somewhere. But I couldn't sleep with him. How much longer could this last?

It always brought me down, thinking of it. It was shocking, thinking about it, how much one single person had ruined my life so badly. I'd almost died because of him, I couldn't sleep at night, and now I couldn't even have sex without thinking of what he did. I was angry, stressed, and I just wanted to be okay. But I wasn't.

Steve reassured me that it was okay, that he'd wait until I was ready. But how long would that be? Would we ever reach that point. Thoughts like that had started pulling me away from him. We weren't as close as we were before. When the reality of the situation hit me, the shame and the anger set in, and I found myself scared to be close to him. I knew he'd never hurt me like Loki did, and I knew he'd take care of me, but I was still scared, panicky and kind of pathetic. He was so calm and collected, always calming me down, reassuring me when things went too far and I'd start panicking. He was an angel, but I was too blinded by the devil to see it.