"So," Dr. Archie Hopper said as he glanced back and forth between Arthur and Belle. "How long have you two been dating?"
It would have been stupid to lie to the therapist about their new relationship, but something about hearing the word 'dating' used in reference to what she and Arthur were doing made it all a lot more real no matter how serious things had gotten.
"We've been on one date," Arthur said simply, looking over at Belle before continuing. "But things had been progressing before that."
"And have you told Bae?"
"No," Belle said. "That was one of the things we really wanted to talk about and get help with."
"I see," Archie replied. "Usually, I encourage dating parents to let their children know when they start seeing someone new but to delay introductions until you're reasonably sure the new person will be in their life for the foreseeable future. In your case...I have to admit, this is a new one for me."
"It is a bit of an unusual case," Arthur said and Belle could hear the little smile in his voice as he said it.
"We don't want to tell him too soon," Belle explained. "But we're both pretty sure there's a future here, too. And it's not like there's a risk of him losing one of us."
"No, of course not," Archie replied quickly. "With divorced parents who start dating again, we recommend waiting until there's a reasonable certainty of a marriage on the horizon simply to avoid putting the child through a second divorce. In your case, though...Bae's never actually been through a divorce or even a breakup and he's never had a reasonable expectation of you two being together. So of course we'd like to spare him the trauma, but there's also probably no need to wait quite that long, either."
"So basically," Arthur said. "Your guess is as good as ours?"
Archie chuckled at that.
"Well, not quite that simplistic," the doctor replied. "But this is largely uncharted territory for everyone. I would caution you against moving too soon yourselves, though. The early part of any relationship is the easiest and while right now it can be easy to say there's definitely a romantic future for the two of you, until now you've both been able to retreat back to separate corners at the end of the day. Being together is going to be a different challenge than coparenting has been."
"That's true of anything, though," Arthur said a little defensively, reaching out to hold Belle's hand. "If Belle had simply started dating me without knowing who Bae's father was it would have been different."
"That's very true," Archie said. "And in some ways, it will actually be easier than if you were just an unrelated stranger. Bae already cares about you, and you've established a routine as a family. But while those will be of a massive benefit later on, right now they just add an extra layer of risk."
"We have been thinking about this for awhile," Belle said. "This isn't just a spur of the moment decision."
"Honestly," Archie said. "I'm a little surprised by two things: I'm surprised this didn't come up sooner and at the same time I'm surprised that you began dating your ex a little while ago, Belle."
Arthur's hand was squeezing hers now and she wasn't quite sure if it was support or him trying very hard to pretend like he hadn't wondered the same things himself. She really had a lot to explain.
"I think those both have the same explanation," she replied after a little while. "I was scared of what you were talking about earlier. I didn't want to do anything to risk hurting Bae."
Archie nodded a little and Arthur was now rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb encouragingly.
"I'm going to ask you a question," Archie said. "And I don't expect you to have an answer for me right away, but I'd like you to think about it and we can revisit it at the end of the session."
"Alright."
"Why do you think it is that you haven't seriously been involved with a man between George and Arthur?"
"I had a child," Belle blurted out instantly. "I went on a few dates, but I never really met anyone I was interested in introducing to Bae."
"And why do you think that is?"
She thought about making a crack about finding a decent single man, but thought better of it. The truth was, she hadn't really ever put much thought at all into why she'd never met someone. She hadn't ever been very interested in dating men to the point that she had tried dating a girl a few times in college only to promptly realize that she wasn't particularly interested in that either.
"Honestly, I've never really cared about dating," she finally admitted. "I have a hard time jumping from meeting someone to becoming romantically interested in them. I always have."
Archie nodded again, making a little note on his pad.
"I'm not really sure why this is a big deal," Arthur said for her. "I haven't dated in a long time either. It happens."
"It does," Archie replied. "I'm really more interested in her reasons right now. Belle, have you ever heard of asexuality?"
"You mean like plants?" she asked.
"Well, yes and no," Archie said. "In humans, asexuality refers to someone who simply doesn't feel sexual attraction."
Well, she had gone a long time without feeling any particular sexual urges that weren't directed at superheroes her son made her watch. She'd always just chalked that up to being a single mom, though. Her world revolved around Bae and he had always been enough. But there had been a time before Bae, and she hadn't been interested then either. Except, she was now.
"But..." Belle looked over at Arthur, not quite really sure what to say to explain it.
But I want to have sex with him seemed like more than this relationship could stand up to. He had a sympathetic look on his face and gave her hand a gentle squeeze and suddenly she realized: he knew. The other night when she'd been babbling about the vibrator she still hadn't made any use of...she'd told him things she didn't quite remember, she might have told him about this.
"Asexuality exists on a spectrum," Archie said as though reading her thoughts. "Some asexual people are completely repulsed by sex while others are very capable of feeling sexual desire when they're emotionally involved with someone. Do you think that sounds like you?"
Belle's mouth was dry all of a sudden and Arthur looked as stunned as if he'd been hit by a brick and they were both just staring at the therapist like he had just handed them the Rosetta Stone and an ancient text and told them to go nuts.
"I...I just thought that was normal," she said, trying to catch up with her racing mind. "I mean, you're not supposed to want to sleep with strangers, right?"
"There's no such thing as normal," Archie said calmly. "Especially when it comes to human sexuality. However, this is entirely within the realm of healthy. There's not a treatment for it and it's not something that there's any need to try to cure."
"So if I am this...whatever it is..."
"Asexual or possibly demisexual," Archie interrupted.
"Right, so if I'm what you said," Belle couldn't quite bring herself to use the words just yet. "Then what does that mean? That I'm not able to have relationships?"
She looked at Arthur again. He didn't even look upset, just completely resigned to whatever this was. Meanwhile she couldn't be more agitated. It hadn't ever occurred to her that there was anything different about her at all. And now there was a psychologist sitting here offering her a label for something that she hadn't known had one.
"Not at all," Archie said hurriedly. "I would say you're more than capable of feeling an emotional connection with a person and you would know better than anyone if you also feel sexual attraction and when that is. But if you are going to attempt a romantic relationship then your best chance at success is with a partner who knows exactly what your desires and expectations are."
"I think we're still pretty far away from her needing to explain anything to me," Arthur said before she could even process what was going on. "And...honestly. It doesn't make a difference to me. It's hardly a surprise, after all."
"Oh my God," she exclaimed, looking over at Arthur. "You already knew."
"I didn't realize you didn't," he said in a rush as though he was defending himself. "You might have mentioned something about it the night you went out with Ruby and I might have looked some articles up. It's really fine."
She put her hand over her mouth and just stared at him in her shock. How had she been the last to know about this?
"So, what?" she asked him, completely forgetting that there was a third person in the room. "You were just planning on never actually having sex ever again? Is that why you wouldn't come inside the other night?"
"That's not the only reason," he replied.
"But it was a factor?"
"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do," Arthur said almost sadly. "Especially not that. If you're not interested in it then I'm not. I'm here for you, Belle, not sex."
Archie cleared his throat and they both turned to face him at the same instance, apparently having both forgotten him in the shock of the moment.
"I think you're both overreacting to this," he said simply. "Belle, nothing has changed about you at all. If you do want to have sex, then nobody is telling you that you can't. The purpose of having a label for this is so that you don't have to feel strange or broken for not wanting it. And Arthur, while it's very good that you're not going to try to pressure her it's ultimately up to Belle if she feels a sexual attraction for you and you have to trust her to make her own choices in the matter. If she says she wants to have sex, then there's no reason for you to turn her down unless you don't want to."
They were both sitting completely still on Archie's couch. Belle was suddenly exhausted, she hadn't even realized this was going to be a problem between them. Was he just going to keep turning her down every time she tried to initiate anything sexual in the name of not pressuring her? Would he eventually have just given in and assumed she was doing it as a favor to him? She didn't want to have this conversation with Archie there, though. The therapist already knew more about her sex life than she had ever dreamed he would, and had left her with a lot to think about.
Thankfully, they were almost out of time by then and the rest of the session went fairly smoothly. Archie asked the usual questions about communication and how they felt Bae was doing. He seemed to be a lot better since Thanksgiving, but she was still worried about how little he wanted to talk to them. Archie nodded and smiled and took a series of notes about their concerns, and then before she knew it Belle and Arthur were out the door and Bae was walking into the therapist's office himself.
"We need to talk outside," Belle whispered to Arthur as soon as the door shut behind her son.
He nodded grimly, obviously expecting her to want to yell at him for what had just happened. Half of her wanted to, actually. How could he just flat out not tell her he thought she might be asexual?
"I'm sorry," he said as soon as the office door shut behind them and they were standing in the parking lot. "I thought you knew."
"I'm not mad at you," she replied. "I mean, I was. But I'm not now."
"Oh," he said. "Then what did you want to talk about?"
"Were you honestly just going to never have sex with me?"
"I hadn't quite decided yet," he replied with a little shrug. "I figured I'd wait and see if I was right or not first."
"So you were just planning to what, exactly?" she asked. "Never have sex ever again just to be with me?"
"If that's what it took," he said, reaching a hand up to gently brush her hair back off her face. "I'd rather have you and no sex than sex and no you, and quite frankly the other option seems to be no sex and no you."
That stupid man. That sweet, stupid man.
"What did I tell you the other night?" she asked. "I need to know what I said when I was drunk."
"You said Ruby thought you'd been alone too long so you needed a vibrator to let you be able to date," he said as clinically as possible, as though he were trying to separate himself from the words. "But that you thought she was wrong because you hadn't missed having sex at all and didn't like it that much."
"That's true," she admitted. "Or at least it has been. I don't miss having sex, but that doesn't mean I don't want to do it with you."
His face brightened considerably at that, and she felt someplace between practiced seductress and virginal maiden (though perhaps a bit closer to the latter than she was comfortable with) as she managed to smile at him.
"You heard the doctor," she said in what she hoped was an alluring fashion as she pulled him in for a kiss by his tie. "Emotional involvement, remember?"
"Right," he agreed huskily, leaning in to kiss her lips gently. "Emotional involvement. I'll be as involved as you need."
"You already are," she replied, craning upwards to kiss him again, only this time she wouldn't let him go so easily.
