Chapter 55: Saying Goodbye
"Shit," Jack swore under his breath as he failed to knot his tie for the fourth time in a row
"Here," he heard soft English tones drift over his shoulders and gentle hands touch his arms to turn him from the changing room mirrors to face Nikki "Let me,"
"Thanks Nikki," he said clenching and unclenching his fists. He hated to admit it but his hands were shaking
"I guess you don't wear a tie too often," Nikki quipped "I suppose only when you have to apologise,"
"I never have to apologise!"
"Don't I know it!" Nikki said "I have to do most of it for you!" she said "Well I did, but since I'm not head of the Lyell Centre anymore,"
"You could change your mind," Jack said softly "It's not too late,"
"Chamberlain starts tomorrow," Nikki told him "I'm no longer your boss,"
"Shame," Jack said "It suited you. You had this sexy English matronly style thing going- ACK!" he choked as Nikki pulled the knot of his tie tightly around his neck
"Shut it Hodgson," she laughed "I know how to murder people and get away with it,"
"Yeah well I know how to use forensic evidence to tie you to the crime scene. I bit that rag off when that doctor attacked me," he said and then quickly added a caveat as he saw Nikki's face drop at the memory "Sorry Nikki," he finished
"We should get going," she said giving him a weak smile
"Are we taking your car or mine?"
"Mine," she said firmly "You have such a boy car,"
"What's that meant to mean?" Jack mock scowled but Nikki just smiled knowingly to herself
…
"S-shit" Molly swore under her breath as she tried to tie her hair up with one hand
She heard a gentle knocking at the door and looked up "Molly?" she heard a voice call "Are you okay? Can I come in?"
"Y..yes," she said swearing again as she dropped her hair-bobble on the ground
Colin opened the door and walked into the room. The day was dull and this was reflected in Molly's eyes. She dropped her haze from him to the floor and focused on trying to find the hair-bobble which had fallen under her bed
"S-stupid t..thing," she slurred as she found the missing bobble and scooped it up in her good hand "I c-cant do it," Molly scowled as she tried to tie her hair up off her face once more
"It's okay to ask for help Molly" Colin said "Would you like me to help you?" He asked and she nodded "I can only do pony-tails I'm afraid. My daughter, the one I told you about, asks me to do her hair but she wants complex things like French plaits!" he said "I thought that was a type of bread at first" he grinned and watched as a small smile flickered across Molly's face
"Done," he announced and took a step back from Molly to take in her appearance.
She was wearing a black dress which someone had dug out of her belongings. It was smart and she looked pretty, Colin would say. The bruising on her face had gone down now and her hair had grown back over the surgical incision. But black was the theme of the day for today was the day Molly Williams would bury her last remaining parent.
…
"What time does it start?" Nikki asked Jack as she pulled into the churchyard
"Eleven," Jack said as he glanced around the empty car-park "I don't think it's going to be large turnout,"
"Who's coming?"
"Apart from me and you?" he asked and she nodded "Molly obviously and Collin's bringing her in case she needs some medical attention, but apart from that I think it's just us four"
"it's going to be a tough day for her," Nikki said sympathetically "How do you think she's coping?"
"The Underground was her world, Jonathan was her world," Jack said "I've being trying to get her to continue the Underground,"
"She has hope. You gave her that," Nikki smiled placing her hand on Jack's shoulder
"I couldn't give her justice," Jack said "He got away with it and Molly's got brain damage,"
"But she's still a fighter, just like you Jack. You both got through this and she'll get through today as well," Nikki said as she watched another car pull into the carpark "She needs you Jack, be there for her today,"
"Thanks Niks," Jack told her taking her hand and lacing it in his larger one
"No problem," she smiled "And don't call me Niks or I will rip that y chromosome out of your body. Remember: I know how to falsify post-mortem reports,"
"You're dangerous, Alexander," he smiled back as he got out of the car
"You better remember it Hodgson,"
…
Molly gingerly stepped out of Colin's car onto the gravel driveway. The day was overcast and Molly preferred it that way. The day was hard enough without it being sunny and bright; somehow that would have made it harder. Molly had blurry memories of her mother's funeral. She remembered being clothed in a black dress similar to the one she was wearing. She had held onto her father's hand as he sobbed his way through the service. She had smelt something funny on him; a smell she would later always associate with her mother's funeral: alcohol
"Molly?" a familiar Irish lilt brought her out of her thoughts and she smiled weakly at the Irishman who was looking at her concernedly
"I'm f-fine," she said softly
"No you're not," he said gently, lowering his tones so only she could hear "But that's okay, we're here for you,"
Molly was about to reply when an elderly vicar walked out of the Church and came towards the group
"Molly Williams," he said gently "I haven't seen you since Sunday school; goodness you were only this high," he said gesturing with his hand
"He-llo," Molly said shyly
"Jack Hodgson," Jack said introducing himself "And this is Nikki Alexander; we're friends of Molly's," he said and the vicar shook his hand
"Is anyone else attending today?" he asked looking at the small group as Colin introduced himself
"No," Molly said softly "Dad's friends a..re d-," she stopped, she couldn't say the word.
Not today.
"It's just us," Jack said firmly
The vicar nodded understandingly "Shall we go in?" he asked "Your father is already here Molly,"
…
So few attended the service that they all fit in one pew. The Vicar started the service with a quote from scripture and then they sang a hymn. Jack looked at Molly who was silent and kept her eyes fixed on her Father's coffin.
Once the Vicar had finished, he beckoned to Molly. Slowly, she stood up and made her way to the front of the Church with a piece of paper in her working arm. She cleared her throat as she tore her gaze away from the coffin, towards Jack, Nikki and Collin.
"M-my heart has broken t…oday, time has stopped, time is broken. Today I bury my Dad. Dad w-wasn't perfect. Sometimes…we..ll a lot of the time he d-drank. Especially after Mum died. Sometimes he'd sit up for hours, crying at night; sometimes I'd come home and he'd be passed out drunk or angry or both. But that didn't mean he stopped being my Dad. I never saw him more alive than when we were working together on the Underground. He was a clever man whatever anyone t-thought of h…im. I never got to say goodbye to my m..um; I never got to say goodbye to my d..ad and I never t-old them h…ow much I love….loved them…."
Molly's voice broke off into a sob as she stuttered over her words
Jack silently came up to where Molly was standing and took the paper from her hands. He put one arm around her shoulder and continued reading Jonathan's elegy
"But I did love them both so much, despite their flaws. I hope that wherever they are they know that I love them. And that love keeps me going. I may have lost both my parents but I grew up knowing I was loved and that I loved in return. And in that way if we still continue to love then people are never gone in our hearts. They live on in our memories. I may not have all the answers but sometimes not knowing is the only thing that makes it okay. The truth doesn't always giving us the answer and the answer we are looking for isn't always the truth"
"That was lovely Molly," the Vicar said as he nodded his thanks to Jack as the scientist guided her back to her pew
"Nikki, I believe you wanted to say a few words?' the Vicar asked and Nikki nodded, passing Jack and Molly as she made her way to the front of the Church.
"I didn't know Jonathan well. I only met him on several occasions and most of those were in….in a I suppose a professional capacity. But I know how much he loved Molly and did everything he could to protect her. I know he had his troubles but in the end he was a good father and Molly is proof of that. He raised a strong, intelligent young woman with a bright future ahead of her. His passing wont be easy on Molly; it will leave a scar but scars can heal and reveal how strong we are. Molly, this isn't the end, it's a goodbye, but your father's legacy can live on if you choose to do that in whatever way you will. I want to say goodbye to Jonathan, a fellow science lover, loving father and devoted husband," Nikki finished and gave a nod to the vicar as she sat down
"Thank you Nikki. Now, I believe Jonathan requested to be buried with Isabella. If we can all make our way outside…"
…
"How is she?" Nikki asked Collin as they stood a little away from the grave
Collin sighed "Physically, she's getting there but emotionally I'm not sure. She's so closed off these days. I know Jack has tried to cheer her up and get her to plan towards the future but I don't know…"
Down at the graveside, Molly was crouched down by the deep hole, peering in with Jack on hand to grab her in case she fell in.
"Molly?" Jack called "They're ready to cover up your Dad,"
Molly nodded sadly and stood up, brushing dirt off her dress
"Your speech was lovely," Jack encouraged "You have a gift with words,"
"You want me to carry on with the Underground"
"I want you to have a future. A fresh start at life without the memories of Devil's Cott or that man" Jack said firmly
"I looked at Dad's will. He left me everything. The house, the Underground and his whisky collection. The latter I'm not sure of…"
"You're not going to move away?" Jack asked and Molly shook her head
"This is home," Molly aid firmly "No one can take that away from me. Anyway, this way I'm close to Mum and Dad,"
Jack nodded and put his arm around Molly's shoulders as the first clods of dirt hit the coffin. He looked back at the gravestone
Isabella Williams
Loving mother and wife
Jonathan Williams
Dedicated father and husband
To Infinity and Beyond
