''I won't apologize for speaking my mind'', Karen said, shrugging.
''are you fucking serious? are you trying to make things worse here?'', Maggie said incredulously, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.
''What happened?'', I asked Michonne quietly, who was standing with her arms crossed as she watched the two.
''Maggie asked her to apologize for what she said about Glenn, she said no.'', She muttered shaking her head.
''For God sake, is she doing this on purpose? trying to get us all fighting?'', I asked angrily. Michonne shrugged, but didn't look convinced.
'' Two people died, we can't just pretend it didn't happen'', Karen pointed out, as if we needed reminding.
''We all know that Karen, we're not pretending like it didn't happen, but you pointing the finger isn't doing any good!'', Maggie snapped, her temper bubbling.
''I'm pointing the finger at who I see fit. Everyone agrees, they just won't say anything'', Karen scoffed.
'' 'Everyone' most certainly does not agree. I don't know what your game is. I don't know if you're trying to cause problems between all of us, or if you're genuinely grieving in some fucked up way. You want to play the blame game? Ok . Who should we blame? The walker who bit Rick and kickstarted all of this, or all of us, because none of us saw him coming, does that mean we're all at fault? Do you want to blame me and Daryl for getting in the boat before Rick and Lori did? Because if you want to blame us for that, then you're going to have to blame Rick himself, because he told us we needed to get to the other side of the river and fast, to clear out the walkers that had arrived.'', I began, a fire igniting inside me that would have rivaled the blazing one sitting in the fireplace. She wanted to point fingers? I was going to blur her aim a little bit.
'Or'', Daryl interrupted as he rejoined us without Jasper.
''Are you going to blame the designer of the boat because there wasn't a faster speed setting? Are you going to blame Lori, because she didn't kill rick, which led to her own death?'', he challenged her, coming to a halt at my side. Karens mouth hung open as she scrambled to find something to retort back.
''What happened happened because it was inevitable. It was going to happen regardless of the circumstances. It was a domino effect, not caused by any one person. If any of us could somehow go back in time and change something to save their lives, we would but we can't. It sure as hell wasn't Glenns fault, so don't you dare try to say it was..Blaming each other isn't going to do us any good, it isn't going to change what happened'', I concluded. A silence filled the room, as Karen and I glared at each other. Her eyes flitted from person to person as she waited for someone to speak, for someone to take her side, but no one did.
''She's right. It wasn't anyones fault'', Carl said from behind us. I hadn't even heard him come down the stairs. Turning to face him, I saw no trace of anger or revenge in his sad eyes. Instead all I saw was acceptance. He understood that any of us would have risked our lives for his parents, the odds had just been stacked against us. A light tapping on the front door alerted us to the fact that Glenn was back. Helping Michonne to drag some of the furniture we had shoved up against the door away, we made enough room to let him in. Shoving all of it back into place, I was shocked when I finally laid eyes on Glenn. Panting and sweating profusely, his hands and arms were slick with blood.
''It's ok, none if it's mine'', he explained quickly ,noting our fearful expressions.
Eyeing us all carefully, he knew he had walked in on something.
'' What'd I miss?'', he asked wiping the sweat from his eyes.
''A whole bunch of shit'', Daryl commented, clapping him on the shoulder as he passed him to go check that the door was fully secure. Carl turned to return to his room, but Glenn stopped him.
''I thought you'd want these'', he said ruefully, extending a bloodied hand. Uncurling his fingers, he revealed two silver wedding bands. Carls eyes moved from Glenns face to his hand. Raising his eyebrows, he sucked in his bottom lip to bite down on.
''I'm sorry Carl.. I'm sorry'', Glenn croaked, tears welling in his eyes as his hand begun to shake. I could feel the emotions burning in the back in my throat, as tears threatened to fall.
''It's ok'', Carl whispered, not bothering to attempt to keep the tears in. His wet eyelashes stuck together as tears streamed down his cheeks. Glenn was crying openly too, watching Carl with insufferable guilt in his eyes.
''I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough, I tried...I tried'', Glenn wept, bracing himself on the wall next to him.
''It's not your fault, I don't blame you. It's not your fault'', Carl whimpered, stepping forward and throwing his arms around Glenn. Balling his hands into fists on Carls back, Glenn buried his face in his shoulder as he trembled uncontrollably, sobbing so heartbreakingly that I could almost hear his heart cracking.
Any anger that had been simmering in the cabin had sizzled out. We were all now breaking down in tears as we gazed around at each other. Realization stuck as we watched Glenn and Carl holding onto each other. Carl had more reason than anyone to be mad or upset . He was only a teenager, he should've been fuming or looking for someone to pin the blame on just to ease the pain. Instead, he showed more maturity and respect than any of us had. He was hurting more than anyone, yet he was the one consoling us.
Finally releasing each other, Glenn wiped his eyes on his arm and placed the rings in Carls hands.
''Thank you'', he muttered gratefully as he took them both and smiled down at them. Pushing one on each index finger, he caressed them softly.
''I buried them'', He told him clearing his throat. Overcome with gratitude, Carl struggled for words to thank him.
''You didn't have to-'', he began but his voice gave out.
''Yeah, I did. They're at peace now, together.'', Glenn told him, smiling softly at the thought that at least they were together.
Glancing over my shoulder at Karen, I saw that she too was crying silently, guilt written all over her face. We decided that none of us wanted to be alone that night. Dragging a few mattresses and blankets from the bedrooms, we all slept beside the fire , huddled together, bound by our grief.
