So how many of you want another pairing?

Well, you're gettin' one, whether you want it or not.

And like usual, the last chapter was brought to you by a famous author, and this time it just so happens that it's (Sir) Ian Fleming, the mind behind Agent 007 himself. In celebration, go watch your favorite Bond movie.

You know, I mean, after you're done reading this and all...

And before we get this wagon train a'rolling, here's a hint about the relationship: it's Isane. And another guy.

And now, on with the crack!

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

It had been days now since the KPD got back from Vegas, having all agreed not to repeat the experience. (Or talk about it really. "What happens in Vegas" and all that...)

"Hey, has anyone seen my brass knuckles?" Tatsuki asked from her desk, leafing through a newspaper and chewing gum.

"Why?" Nel asked, looking up at the female Bruce Lee curiously, "It'th not like you'rwe doing anything."

"Yeah," Tatsuki agreed, "but I could, and if I do I want to have them within easy reach."

"But nothing ever happens around here," Matsumoto pointed out. She was sitting on top of her desk filing her nails. "Ever since you went on your 'spring cleaning' kick all of the criminals have been too scared to commit any crimes! And my paycheck hinges on catching bad guys!"

"Come to think of it," Ichigo said, "it's been at least two weeks since any noticeable crime was committed."

"Yeah," agreed Renji, "the worst we've gotten was that rash of prank phone calls, and even those-" He stopped when the ringing of the telephone interrupted his little rant. "Hello?...Yes this is, but-...Is my WHAT running?...Look, we don't even have one of those he- But you know who does? Mayuri Kurosutchi...Oooooooh yes...No I don't; just try asking the operator for 1313 Mockingbird Lane...Yeah, you too...Laters." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Rukia asked, sprinkling some food into Quincy's food dish.

This was all sounding very familiar.

But like usual no one thought anything of it.

"One of those prank callers I was telling you about," the red fern with racing stripes explained, "and it wasn't even a good one! She asked if my Quantum Corbofluxinator was working."

"We don't have one of those," Kiyone pointed out.

"I know, which is why I referred her to Dr. Prof. Kurosutchi."

"...And you didn't find anything wrong with that?" Ichigo wondered.

"Not really, no," he said, completely serious.

"How did you people ever survive without me...?" Ichigo sighed tiredly, letting his head fall in his hands.

"Has anyone seen my hoop earrings?" Isane asked as she rummaged around her cluttered desk. She was wearing a blouse and skirt with a burgundy Cardigan sweater.

"What for? You got a hot date tonight?" Ikkaku asked. "Gonna be doing a little of the old Hanky-panky? The Funky Monkey? The Lucky Fu-"

Matsumoto's arm suddenly snapped out to the side, disappeared partially into the micro-climate, only to reappear next to Ikkaku's face, socking him right in the kisser.

"Oh thank Gaaawwwd!" she moaned contentedly, drawing her arm back and flexed it a little, "I've had that cramp in my arm all day; that sudden snap really did the trick."

"So why do you need your earrings 'Nee-chan?" Kiyone asked, holding up the offending ear-wear.

"Because I'm meeting an old friend from Highschool and the place is kind of upscale," she explained, taking the earrings and attaching them to her nose. Then she- What? Not the nose? But she- OH! Her ears! Well that makes more sense. *turns to reader* I'm terribly sorry about this folks, we now return you to your regularly scheduled Fanfic.

"Didn't you just do that?" Matsumoto wondered.

"Oh I didn't meet Hinamori-chan until I got into college; Hisagi and I have known each other since Highschool, though we haven't really kept in touch for a few years now."

"You're not gonna make us stand outside again, are you?" Renji asked. He got minor frostbite from the last time and wasn't eager to repeat the experience.

"Nothing like that," she said, "I'm just not going to tell you where I'm going." And with that she grabbed her coat and sauntered out the front door.

Two seconds later half the force was following her.

Ichigo, Rukia, Renji, and Tatsuki to be precise.

Everyone else was too lazy.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"Man," Rukia panted, "I didn't think I'd have to run that fast!"

"I know!" Ichigo agreed, "I almost came close to actually fearing for my life NO I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT HOW HOT SHE LOOKS COVERED IN SWEAT YOU [censor]ING MORON!"

"I sure as hell hope you're not talking about me," Tatsuki warned, staring in abject shock.

Rukia and Renji did likewise.

"No!" Ichigo said quickly, hoping to somehow (and improbably) salvage the situation, "I meant Rukia."

Bwah bwah bwaaaaah!

Rukia was now even more shocked.

"Not better?" he wondered sheepishly.

They all shook their heads in unison.

"It was Hichigo, OK?" he broke down. "It's not like I want to be thinking these things!"

"I for one wasn't expecting Kenpachi to be waiting outside the door for us," Renji said, deciding to ignore the mad ravings of his comrade.

"I'm surprised he agreed to help Isane keep us from following her," Rukia said. "Though I can understand why she asked him that in the first place." Then a thought struck her, "Come to think of it, why am I with you guys to begin with?"

"Well, Turkey Head there took off after Isane almost as soon as she left," Renji glowered, "and then miss 'attack first, worry about whether it was a good to do it in the first place later' raced after him," Tatsuki glowered as well, "and I took off after her to try and talk them out of it I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR WALL, HICHIGO!"

"..."

"-And then you ran after me, shouting for me to wait up," he continued, acting like his little outburst hadn't even happened. "Then we met Kenpachi and ran like hell before he ground us all into dust."

"Oh yeah, I remember now!"

"Doesn't that guy have a day job?" Renji wondered, referring to the man mountain that they just escaped.

"I think he works as a bouncer part time," Tatsuki said.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Zaraki: *checking names off a list as club-goers pass by* Fine...fine...fine...fine- Hang on Pansy, you're not on the list.

Hanatarou: B-b-but you just let me in there an hour ago! ...And for that matter you know me, why can't you let me by?

Zaraki: *shrugs* Rules is rules; if your name ain't on the list, you don't get in.

Hanatarou: *does puppy eyes*

Zaraki: OK, you've changed my mind.

Hantarou: *genuinely surprised* Really?

Zaraki: Yeah; I was just going to tell you to [censor] off, but now you're going to get the "special" treatment.*Spartan Kick's Hanatarou through twelve buildings*

Hanatarou: *in park fountain* If you'd like to leave a message, please wait for the faint... *faints*

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"Seems stable," Rukia mused.

"Can we get back to tailing Isane now?" Renji asked, "Cause I for one want to see what kind of douchebag she's having lunch with." He was ringing his hands eagerly, with a devious smile plastered on his face.

"This isn't going to be like Rangiku's date, Renji," Rukia chided. "Besides, she's with a friend form Highschool."

"And even if she was on a date, you'll probably try and pathetically deny it like last time as well," Tatsuki added.

"Hey, I didn't do that!" Renji indignantly denied.

"Would you blockheads keep it down?" Ichigo hissed, looking through a pair of binoculars. "I'm trying to get a bead on Isane."

Everyone else immediately had their own long range viewing devices out.

"Is her friend here yet?" Tatsuki asked, looking through the scope on her sniper rifle.

"Um, Tatsuki, where did you get that?" Rukia asked hesitantly, fearing the potential answer as usual.

"...You don't want to know," she said simply.

Rukia began inching away from her and closer to Ichigo.

"There she is," Renji announced, "second table from the left!"

"That's just an old lady, Renji," Rukia corrected.

"She's right," the other two confirmed.

"Whatever," he said, trying to keep hold on the smidgen of pride he had left, "Not all of us can afford expensive, new gadgets." He looked at everyone else's viewing devices that gleamed like they had just come out of the box.

His looked like it had been eaten by a hippo, regurgitated, eaten up again, and then crapped out into a mud hole.

"There she is," Tatsuki said, "on the other side."

"Oh yeah..." Rukia now spotted her comrade on side other said, looking over a menu.

"Happy now, Pineapple Head?" Tatsuki said tiredly. "She's just sitting there by herself; her friend isn't even here yet."

"Someone's walking up to the table," Ichigo announced.

Tatsuki looked over at him, "That's probably just the waiter."

"He's sitting down at the table."

"Yeah well maybe he's just tired-"

"And he's not wearing a uniform."

"Well that's cause he's probably on break-"

"Oh for crap's sake Tatsuki, that's her friend!" Rukia exploded.

Now everyone was staring at her.

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly, "it's just that it feels like we've done this before."

"You guys shtalked someone they'we date before?" Nel asked, suddenly in their midst.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?" everyone shrieked.

"I walked," she said, not understanding what her friends were getting at. "Why?"

"...Why are you here?" Rukia asked instead. (She didn't feel like thinking too hard about this one.)

"I got borwed of keeping Yumi-kun and Blady-kun from killing each other, and Kiyone-chan and Big Boobies were just sitting around doing nothing, so I came to see what you guyth were doing."

"Oh..."

"Tho who's on a date?" the tiny tot asked.

"Isane's having lunch with someone she knew from Highschool," Tatsuki explained, now back spying on the nervous medic. "Now that you mention it, he's not too bad looking."

Renji noticeably twinged, but no one paid any attention to him.

"They look like dey're having fun," Nel said, looking through Ichigo's binoculars, choking the man in the process.

Steam began to rise from Reanji's head.

"Oxygen!...need...!" Ichigo gasped.

"Nel he's still wearing them!" Rukia cried.

"Ah! Sowwy Istygo!" Nel hastily let the binoculars go, giving Ichigo back control of his windpipe.

"Stupid high quality neckstrap..." Ichigo mumbled, rubbing his throat.

"Hey guys, check this out!" Tatsuki called, "I think they're making out now!"

Renji suddenly erupted in fire.

"Um, Mithter Renji?" Nel ventured hesitantly, "Your body's on firwe..."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Check closer Nel, I believe you'll find that his eyes are also green.

But why is Renji acting like this? Well you know what? I'm not going to tell you. Ain't I a stinker?

You'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out, and keep sending in those questions for Loly and Menoly!