Chapter 54: Betrayal and Redemption

The Makai Bujutsukai involved most every demon I knew: Silrowen, Jin, Touya, Shishiwakamaru, Suzuka, Urameshi, Hiei-sama, Kurama…heck, I was even in it. None of that really mattered though; none of us won and I forget who actually did. The more pressing issue was that of Hiei-sama and Mukuro. They were constantly together, and whenever I was near Hiei-sama in her presence, she wouldn't stop staring at me with ice-cold cobalt eyes. I felt inferior…like a little girl next to this unstoppable lord of the Makai. Every time I saw the two of them together, I couldn't help but feel like I was losing my beloved fire youkai. Finally, the tournament ended, and we were getting ready to go home. I knew, I just knew Hiei-sama would stay in the Makai with her, and it was tearing my heart into pieces. I couldn't blame him, however. She was powerful, influential, smart…my polar opposite. As Kurama, Yusuke, and I were about to leave, I found myself standing in front of Hiei-sama for what I figured would be the last time.

"W-well…uh…" Words failed me and there was a phantom obstruction in my throat as I fought not to cry. Forcing a smile, I pretended to be happy for him. Silently, his crimson eyes watched me without emotion as if waiting for me to finish speaking. My arms crossed in an attempt to seem indifferent, I was aware of my voice working past that stupid fake smile. "…well, uh…I…" I knew I had to select my words carefully, since it was very likely they would be the last I would ever say to him. "Mukuro's…um…really…great." And the award for 'Biggest Lie In All The Demon Plane' goes to Naoko Youko. "The two of you should get along really well." Still he was silent, eyes of bloodred ice locked on me. "I-I'm happy for you, Hiei-sama. I guess…I'll go home now. I h-hope I see you again…" With those words forced out of my throat, I turned around and began to walk off without waiting for a reply. Thoughts raced through my mind swiftly, all the things I would've said to him if I could have spoken correctly. /Damn it…I love you, Hiei-sama…/ I thought to myself. /I love you…I don't want to be alone again…/

/As I told you during the Ankoku Bujutsukai/ Youko cut in with her usual cold, calm tone, /if you start crying, I will kill you. /

/I. Don't. Care. Youko. Go ahead and kill me, because I don't want to live/ My telepathic voice was full of the pain I felt but refused to show. /I want to die! Go ahead and kill me, I-/

/SHUT UP! I will not kill you now, and I absolutely will not kill you because you told me to! When you die by my hands, I will make sure you are unwilling and screaming in pain, but I will not kill you like this/ She fell silent and I kept walking, showing no external sign of my internal conflict except for the crystalline tears slightly distorting my vision. Suddenly, I felt Hiei-sama's hand grab my wrist and force me to turn around.

"Naoko…wait."

"What!" I snapped, my voice cracking. "If you're going to leave me alone, just leave so I can get on with my life!" My shoulders shook involuntarily and my eyes drifted to an area of the ground beside me.

"Listen, foxgirl…right now, what do you want more than anything?" His voice was calm and gentle, and I closed my eyes as a sharp pain burned through my heart.

"I…I want you to be happy, Hiei-sama…" A momentary silence passed between us.

"You misunderstand my question, little fox." I opened my eyes as Hiei-sama placed his hand under my chin and gently forced me to look at him. "What I meant was: What do you want at this moment? At this very second in time, what do you want so badly that you would forsake everything else?"

"…I…w-want…I want you to come back with me…I want to go back to the human realm with you…but if you don't want to go back, I underst-" He moved his hand lightly over my mouth to silence me.

"I know you do. Why would you give up your one most heartfelt wish like that?" Shaking, I held one of his hands in both of mine.

"Because…if this is what you really want, I d-didn't want to try to convince you otherwise…"

"Naoko…why?" Hiei-sama slowly pulled his hand away, bloodred eyes calm and compassionate. "Why do you always act like this? It's like you think I'm better than you."

"But you're-"

"Don't say it." he interrupted.

"Hiei-sama…I…"

"Please, Naoko…stop calling me that. I'm not your superior in any sense of the word." Finally, I found my voice and unleashed one of the most intense monologues I have ever heard myself speak.

"…I won't stop calling you that. You…you don't understand. No one is my 'superior.' I answer to no one and I make my own damn rules. No one dominates my life, not even Kurama, and you're no different. I only use that honorific with your name because I love you and that is the only way I can even attempt to show how much I respect you!" Hiei-sama stared at me for a moment, apparently stunned. Rightfully so, because I felt the cold fire blazing in my eyes, and I knew how serious I must have looked. "Now…if you're going to go back to Mukuro, then go." I turned around, my heart completely shattering. It was over…it was all over…

"…Naoko." Hesitantly, I turned back to look at him for what I figured would be the last time. The black haired youkai's hands latched onto my shoulders tightly as he pulled me close and kissed me. /St-stupid romantic bastard…/ my stunned, shocked mind thought as I closed my eyes and returned it. When we broke it off, I stared at him in shock.

"I never said I was leaving, foxgirl."

"But you…and I thought…Mukuro…?"

"Mukuro wanted me to stay, that's true, but I told her, in no uncertain terms, to go to hell and leave me alone. I'm coming back to the Ningenkai with you." We were both silent as the realization slowly sunk into my mind. He wasn't leaving…we were going home…he wasn't leaving…

"Hiei-sama…"

"Yes, Naoko?" Words failed me again, and I couldn't express the particular emotions going through my head. My vision was blurred slightly by lingering tears and a half-smile worked its way across my face. I tried to speak, but found I had completely lost the ability.

"I…I…" Smiling, Hiei-sama wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me in a protective embrace.

"It's okay," he whispered in my ear, "let's just go home…"

end of chapter 54