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Chapter 55 – Pieces of the Puzzle
Levi was impressed by Anders' ability to stick to the shadows of the buildings, flitting in and out like a wraith. Of course, with their white pants and shirts it would have been pointless, if not impossible, but their clothes were more grey than white now, in spite of the bleach some of them had been washed in days ago, between sweat, the pulverized rock of the intentional cave-in, and the guano and filth of the tunnel. Levi fought a shudder just thinking about the damned tunnel, the blocked exit.
He cursed as he realized he'd gotten distracted, that he'd actually managed to lose track of Anders, and hoped it wasn't because he'd managed to get himself grabbed. He increased his pace, scanning the street and darkened buildings for him, the poor lighting making it difficult. It was a miracle there was any light, really, in the Underground, but even here men couldn't live completely in the dark, like moles, like rats.
Rats. Shit, fuck. Just the thought of them was bringing back memories of the bites, the basement, the dark, alone, trapped.
A second later Levi lowered the knife that had nearly slit Anders' throat, that would have, if Anders hadn't blocked the blow with his own knife and seized his wrist. If Levi had been wearing his usual concealed blades, that last move would have gotten Anders a knife in the gut, but he hadn't been, and he'd recognized the man finally too. If Anders wasn't a damned good knife fighter, he'd be dead, Levi realized in horror. He would have been anyway, but it would have been his own fucking fault for grabbing my arm in the first place, Levi justified. And the fact that Anders wasn't letting go was suspicious as hell.
"Are you alright, Captain?" Anders asked.
"It's Liam, Josef, and let go now, or I'll break it," Levi reprimanded.
"You didn't respond when I called you Liam and you looked… distracted. I thought you might need my help, like in the canal, or the tunnel," Anders said cautiously, even as he released his hold.
"Shit. Fuck." Levi knew he'd lost track of his surroundings, that he was starting to lose it, but he didn't realize he'd been that fucked up already, like Armin, when they'd been sparring and he'd tried to kill him. "It won't happen again. I could have gotten you killed, even without attacking you myself," Levi admitted, completely disgusted with himself.
"You just need to be back in the sun, sir, the fresh air," Anders assured him, the calmness of his tone infuriating Levi.
"Don't patronize me, you prick! I need to know what the fuck's going on. I need to know if my cousins are still alive," Levi snapped.
"Maybe you'd better wait with the others, sir. I'll be fine on my own," Anders suggested, not in the cautious tone someone who didn't know better would use, which would clearly label him as too unstable to deal with, but in a matter-of-fact tone, phrasing it more like a reassurance, a helpful suggestion.
Levi felt his face flush in humiliation he hadn't felt since the time both Furlan and Isabel chewed him out for almost getting the three of them killed, the newbie mistake he'd made, only weeks before Erwin had come and recruited them. And only a little while later, he actually had gotten them killed. His only friends. His family.
"That's it. If you can hear me, sir, I'm taking you back," Anders said, fortunately concern in his voice rather than censure, or worse, pity.
"No. I'm alright now. I won't lose sight of you again. That's what triggered it, that damned panic attack, the memories of my fuck ups, all of it. I lived down here for years, Josef. I won't screw up again. I won't get you killed," Levi promised.
"If you're sure, Liam, then I trust you. We'll continue," Anders conceded.
It was ridiculous how relieved Levi felt, how ashamed he would have been to be brought back to the others like a lost toddler. But he didn't fully redeem himself until what must have been twenty minutes later, when the gang tried to jump Anders.
Anders saw the ambush closing in on him and had reacted perfectly, but he still would have been dead, one man against six, if Levi hadn't been there. Two against six was more than even odds, especially when Levi took half of them out before they even realized there was more than one potential victim. Anders got two of the remaining three, his blows also incapacitating, rather than maiming, crippling or killing.
Levi had the sixth man in a headlock, his knife pressed to the guy's cheek to ensure his cooperation. "Tell us what you know about the building that blew up, and I might let you live," he demanded in the deadly voice he'd honed years ago.
"What building? I don't know nothing," the man lied, not at all convincingly.
"Josef, remember how I promised I'd show you how to unhinge a man's jaw with a knife, exactly where to press to cut his face in two? I guess I'm going to get to give you that demonstration on a live victim, instead of a corpse," Levi threatened as he pushed the tip of his blade into the man's jaw.
Levi would have known the threat worked even the man hadn't started immediately spilling his guts, from the way he began shaking wildly and the sudden smell of urine permeating the already foul air.
"Don't! I'll tell you! I was there, hiding in the attic two buildings away. I saw everything. It was the Library that got destroyed, the Garrison that done it! There was dozens of soldiers, they circled the building three blocks away in every direction, and then they sent in a couple of men. They tried to trick them into opening the door, but they was too smart for 'em. The Librarian's men fired right through the door, killing both of those bastards. But after that, all hell broke loose. There was gunfire, lots of it, and a battering ram, there was more fighting inside the building, and explosions, like they brung cannons or gunpowder in with 'em, though I didn't see no cannons or powder kegs.
"The Librarian was still alive when they drug her out, her and a few of her men, but I know there should have been lots more guys than that. The books, they carried out the books, too, and then... I don't know how the hell they did it, I swear they wasn't carrying much of anything, they should have needed barrels of gunpowder to do what they did. But somehow they took down the whole damned building, all at once.
"It was like when I was a kid, the time I snuck up the stairs, and made it outside. I'd heard for years about the sun, how bright it would be, but instead, it was even darker than down here, and water was actually falling from the sky, and then there were these bright flashes of light, and a large cracking explosion of sound like the world was ending. I thought it was a Titan, I ran back down the stairs so fast I fell, I broke my leg, but I was lucky to be alive. That was the sound I heard when they blew up the Library.
"That's why we tried to jump your friend, because he was wearing a damned uniform, and we thought he was another one of those bastards, that he'd be blowing up something else next. If they could get the Librarian, they can get anybody. Nobody's safe," the man claimed in despair.
"Tch. Idiot. When has anyone ever been safe in the Underground? It doesn't matter how big and tough and mean your gang is, there's always someone stronger. We didn't kill your friends, not because we're weak, but because we're strong enough we didn't have to. Only the strongest men can afford to leave live enemies. Of course, only an idiot would attack a man who's already defeated him once," Levi advised.
"If you give a shit about these assholes, you'll keep them alive until they wake up. If you don't, and kill and rob them, you'll be dead within a day. I don't give a fuck either way. But if you try to attack us again, you'll be dead long before the day's done."
"I won't try nothing, I swear," the man assured him.
Levi let him go, ready to knock him out if he tried anything, but the man was thoroughly cowed.
After they were out of earshot, Levi fumed to Anders. "The Garrison. If the fucking Garrison attacked the Library, that means Pixis is no longer in charge. But it could have been the MPs, wearing their jackets, making it look like them, to try to trick Hypatia into opening the door and in case the others were spotted."
"Do we still go to my contacts? Or do we go back?" Anders posed.
"You said you have contacts in the Garrison and the MPs too. Those are the ones we need now. At least we know Hypatia and some of her men survived. If we're lucky, they won't have executed them yet. We need to find out." The thought of those bastards burning Hypatia on a pyre made of the books she treasured made him want to kill somebody. And he was worried about the Old Man, too. Was he alive or dead? At the very least, he was likely imprisoned, awaiting execution.
"Thanks for having my back. I couldn't have gotten them all myself," Anders admitted.
"You did a damned good job. From what I saw, you would have likely taken out at least four of them, before they got you, and the other two might have run, especially if one of them was that asshole who peed himself. He's just lucky he didn't get any of it on me, but the stench alone pisses me off," Levi grumbled.
"I know how, by the way. To take a man's jaw off with a knife," Anders commented grimly. "Thanks for not demonstrating it for me. It's not something I want to see again. It's bad enough I still see it in my nightmares."
"Someone you knew?" Levi hazarded.
The silence was answer enough. Then Anders exhaled heavily. "That's how the MPs killed my cousin, right in front of me, after that rival family sold us out and we were raided. Wilhelm was only 14, only two years older than me."
"Shit. Fuck. Those dirty bastards," Levi swore.
"Most of them. But Jeff Donner was there too, the man I told you about earlier, the MP who saved my life, kept me safe from the others, made sure I got into military training instead of a manual labor sentence. Until the other MPs betrayed him and got him killed too," Anders said softly.
"I forget sometimes, that I'm not the only one who's lost my entire family, my friends, my home, my life. Here I was sucked into the damned past so deep I nearly killed you, and your life was just as fucked up as mine," Levi said in self-disgust.
Anders shrugged. "Thousands lost their families. I just lost mine sooner than most, and not to the Titans."
Levi nodded. And now he might have already lost Hypatia and Pixis too, the last ties to his mother. Damn it!
"Do we head back to the Commander and tell him what we know, or directly to my other contacts Topside?" Anders asked.
"To Erwin. He needs to know if they see Garrison soldiers down here, they're likely the enemy now," Levi replied.
"Right," Anders responded.
They headed back to Erwin and the others in silence. The sentries Erwin had on lookout duty actually managed to spot them, though they tried to sneak up on their position, to test them. Connie was actually the one to catch them, the only one Levi didn't spot, which made him rise yet another notch in Levi's already impressed estimation of the little shit.
Levi reported what they'd heard, and Anders' offer to go Topside to his Garrison and MP contacts. In spite of the man's rocky past with the MPs, Anders suggested they be the ones he contact, since a drastic change had obviously happened in the command structure of the Garrison, for the Library to have been attacked, especially without enough warning for Hypatia and her men to escape ahead of time, with the books, and Anders wasn't certain how that might have affected his contacts. They weren't necessarily trustworthy at the best of times, and they might sooner kill him or sell him out than risk endangering themselves.
"Anders, you can go, but you're staying here Levi. I'm not letting you anywhere near the MPs. Dok hates you, and too many of his men know you on sight," Erwin stated emphatically.
"I'll go with Anders, sir," Armin volunteered. "They'll underestimate me. They won't see me as a threat, like they would Jean or Bauer or most of the others."
Levi wanted to tell him no, but Erwin was right, and so was the brat. Besides, this was the first sign Armin had given that he was still loyal to Erwin.
"Then you'll need these. You can't bring your swords, but I'm not letting you leave with just a single knife. You can give them back to Sasha and Connie when you get back," Levi said.
Armin had killed two men with his own combat knife, when he'd been ambushed in the woods, on his way to Sina with Eren and Mikasa, and he'd come too damned close to slitting Levi's throat, too, when he'd had that flashback to that attack during weapons practice, when Levi had been trying to assess the skills of his new squad. He knew how to use them effectively.
Levi looked at Liam and then back at Armin. "Here. Take this too. Try to conceal the hilt with your hand as well as you can," Levi instructed, handing Armin the sword cane Liam had made for his sister, the one Erwin had given him. He'd shown it to Armin weeks earlier, he knew about the hidden Survey Corps sword the cane concealed. "Just don't let the MPs confiscate it."
"I won't," Armin promised.
"And in addition to finding out about the change in command of the Garrison, about whether Hypatia and the Old Man are still alive… Try to find out if there's any word about Eren and Mikasa and Ymir," Levi risked suggesting. "They could have returned through one of the Outer Gates, one of the border towns. Just be subtle about it. The fewer people who figure out where we were the better, especially the MPs."
A look of fury and frustration flashed in Armin's eyes and then was gone. Armin nodded wordlessly, as he took the knives from Levi. It was blatantly clear that Armin hadn't forgiven him for siding with Erwin about sealing the tunnel, when Eren and Mikasa and the other shifters were still in the Outside. He likely never would, even if Eren and Mikasa survived.
Those damned books and radio had better be worth the cost, because he'd already lost too damned much because of them. But the shifters had regained someone they'd thought lost, a single life that might save the lives of everyone inside the Walls – assuming Marcel and the other shifters were even still alive, that Leonhart hadn't killed them all. That was the main reason he'd given Armin the sword, not that it could get past that bitch's crystal armor, if she appeared within the Walls again.
"And find out who the fuck let that bitch Leonhart out, or whether she escaped on her own, and who died when she did," Levi added. If they were lucky, maybe she took Dok and that bastard Kenny down. Of course, he'd never been that lucky, and doubted his luck would be changing, ever.
"Yes sir," Armin replied, as if they were strangers, merely subordinate and commanding officer. It was all he deserved, but it still didn't make it any easier to bear.
Letting Armin leave with Anders was one of the hardest things Levi had ever done. It felt like when he left Furlan and Isabel, just before they were killed. Levi knew if Armin and Anders didn't come back, their ghosts would haunt him for the rest of his life. Possibly even literally, though thankfully Furlan and Petra had each apparently moved on, once they realized they were hurting him worse by staying.
Of course, it was just as likely he'd been losing his fucking mind, although he was pretty sure someone was haunting Armin and Jean, too, though Armin had denied it when he'd asked him. Although it wasn't as if he would have admitted the presences he'd sensed either, after his friends and then his Squad were killed, even if someone he trusted had asked him. And he needed to stop thinking about that down here, because Erwin deserved better of him, and he'd already been screwing up and acting nuts enough on this mission.
0 0 0
"You blame the Captain for sealing the tunnel, but it was the Commander's decision, and most of the rest of us supported it," Anders said unexpectedly, as they headed Topside.
Armin glared at the man. He didn't know him well enough to talk to him about it.
"Personally, I think the Brauns and Hoover and Ymir would all have fought on their side. And those six against the Female Titan are pretty good odds," Anders stated.
"Would you say the same if it was Bauer who was left behind, trapped in the Outside?" Armin demanded.
Anders snorted derisively. "Tch. I think you forget who you're talking to. The Corps already abandoned me and Bauer Outside. We had a four day walk back through Titan infested land, us and Rickard and Mitchell."
"That wasn't the same at all. It wasn't intentional, deliberate," Armin argued.
"No, it wasn't," Anders conceded. "But that didn't make the danger any less real. You could look at it that it was worse. No one even knew we were alive, that we were out there. No one knew to look for us, to try to rescue us. But if Yeager and Ackerman don't return, as soon as he's free to, the Captain's going to go looking for them, and I know him well enough to know that he won't come back until he finds them. That's the kind of man he is.
"And knowing the Commander, he'll make a mission of it, because otherwise Levi would go looking on his own, and the last time Levi was out there alone, he nearly died. He would have, if it wasn't for the three of you. That's the other reason the Commander will make it a mission. You and Yeager and Ackerman saved Levi's life. You didn't see what the Commander was like with the Captain gone, you only heard about it. That wasn't all the concussion. So have some faith in your superiors and in your friends, and stop making Levi feel guiltier than he already does.
"I wouldn't say this to just anyone, but I know you're Levi's friend. What he did, leaving Yeager and Ackerman behind, it's killing him. He was out cold for three days, the memory is still fresh and raw, and it's eating him alive. He almost completely lost it when we were scouting before, I almost had to abort the mission and bring him back, before he got us both killed. So as his friend, stop being so wrapped up in your own pain that you don't see his. Stop hurting him and try helping him," Anders scolded.
Armin's resentment and anger sputtered and died with Anders' words, leaving guilt in their wake. It's not that he hadn't known Levi was wallowing in guilt, but he just hadn't acknowledged it, because it was better to feel angry than helpless. He'd spent his entire life feeling helpless, until the past few weeks, and he'd hated it. Speaking out in defense of Eren to the Garrison had been the initial turning point, but he had failed. It wasn't until he'd helped save Levi that he'd finally felt worthy of his existing friends, and had been able to make new ones.
"You're right. I haven't been fair to Levi. Or even to the Commander. We're all expendable to him, I know that. He simply weighed the lives of everyone inside the Walls against Eren's and Mikasa's. It's nothing he hasn't done before, dozens of times. Every time he leads a mission, he knows there will be horrific casualties, but he keeps doing it, over and over, because someone has to. And he said Levi isn't in his acceptable losses column, but this time he was ready to blow the tunnel with Levi on the wrong side, if he was attacked, willing to sacrifice even him to protect the books and radio. I guess we all were. I didn't even try to stop Levi or go with him," Armin admitted shamefacedly.
"He doesn't blame you for it. Instead, he blames himself, for hurting you," Anders assured him, which actually made Armin feel worse, though he realized that wasn't Anders' intention.
They continued on in silence, but thankfully now it felt companionable, rather than accusing.
But they made it less than halfway to the surface when they drew back, just in the nick of time, before the soldiers spotted them. There must have been close to two dozen soldiers, an absurd number, complete overkill for trying to keep Lurkers from heading towards the surface. But far scarier was the fact that half of them were MPs, but the other half were Garrison soldiers. And what was worse, even more incomprehensible, was that these soldiers from the two branches of the military that normally despised one another seemed completely at ease with one another.
What the hell happened, while we were gone?
Armin hadn't even known about the blockades preventing Lurkers from leaving the Underground, the tollgates run by whichever criminal organization was currently the most powerful in that particular section of the subterranean City, until he and Eren and Mikasa and Levi had come through Sigma Gate, on their way back from Mikasa's cabin, after their mission ended in disaster. The Scout uniforms the rest of them had been wearing hadn't stopped the toll collectors: it was Levi who had. Even dressed in civilian clothes, on crutches, all he had to do was stare at those men in contempt, and say his name.
"Get the fuck out of my way, assholes," Levi snapped, fuming at the attempted delay.
"Seriously? You've got a lot of nerve, Dead Meat," one of the men had laughed, as six others surrounded them.
"The name's not Dead Meat, it's Levi. Now get the fuck out of my way before I cut that smile off your face," Levi threatened, not even drawing his blade, just charging forward on his crutches.
"Levi?"
"Holy shit! Levi the Knife?"
"Fuck! Captain Levi?"
"You mean those are real Scouts?"
"What the hell are they doing down here?"
"Who cares? Danny, let them through! Faster, damn it!"
The blockade had melted away like magic.
But Levi wasn't here this time, and even if he were, the soldiers who had take over the toll blockade from whatever gang had been running it would more likely attack him on sight, too proud and stupid to realize how suicidal that was.
Anders signaled to him silently, and they backed away, into the shadows, down the stairs. Fortunately they'd been stealthy on the way up, or they'd have been spotted and caught.
Once they were safely away, Armin breathed a sigh of relief. "Why are the MPs and Garrison working together? Why are they controlling this exit? Do you think they're looking for stragglers from the Library, or for us? Do you think they're at the other exits, too?" Armin asked in concern.
"I have no idea. Let's find out if they're blocking the other exits, but carefully, because I suspect they are," Anders replied grimly.
They tried the three other routes Anders knew to the surface, and each was guarded by an excessive number of soldiers, the same even mix of Garrison soldiers and MPs.
"We need to report back to the Commander," Anders said in disgust and frustration. He hadn't seen any of his contacts among the soldiers, and couldn't have spoken to them without revealing himself to the others in any case.
Armin hated that they'd taken so long, only to return with no intelligence gathered at all.
0 0 0
Levi's relief at seeing Armin and Josef return safely was short-lived, once he heard the disturbing report.
"We might be able to bluff or explain our way through, but I'm not risking the radio and those books being seized by the Military Police, or the Garrison, especially if Pixis is no longer in charge of it," Erwin proclaimed.
"So we hide them, and then try to exit. We go back for them once their attention is diverted Topside again," Levi suggested.
"Do you know of anywhere secure enough to do that? Erwin questioned.
"Maybe, if it's still standing," Levi reluctantly replied. The house he and Furlan and Isabel had used as a base of operations had been sturdy and readily defensible, one of the ones that still had clear, piped running water, cold only of course. He refused to think about the fact that he now knew it to be the bug water from the Aqueduct canal. Besides, the bats had eaten all the damn bugs. Now it was batshit water. The thought almost made him heave.
"But I also know another way out, which I suggest we investigate before we ditch the radio and books, because it's a hell of a lot easier to steal something from someone who's left it behind than someone who's actively guarding it and ready to rip your throat out if you try," Levi added more viciously than necessary.
He hadn't wanted to ever see that cavern again, the one that looked out into the sky. It was a special, private place he'd only ever taken two people to before, Furlan and Isabel, and he didn't want the memory of that brief moment of peace, almost of contentment, tainted by all this. But much like when he followed Erwin out into the sun, it didn't look like he had much of a choice. Any other option would likely lead to them losing everything they had fought so hard to retrieve.
The only way out of the cavern into Sina was down a sheer wall 30 meters tall, an impassible route to anyone who didn't have maneuver gear. Fortunately for them, they all did.
Damn it. And now Erwin was giving him one of those looks that said, "I know you're in pain and trying to be stoic about it. I can't do anything about it right now, but I'll fuck you over the top of my desk to help you forget, as soon as we're back on base." OK, so maybe the last part was more wishful thinking on his part rather than Erwin's, though the man had surprised him on more than one occasion.
"Alright. You're in the lead, Captain Levi. Everyone keep a special eye out for soldiers. Don't assume any of them are friendly, even if you know them, whether they're Garrison, MPs, or even Scouts. We suspect there's been a significant shift in the military hierarchy, we just don't know how far that shift extends, to which branches of the military, and how deep within those branches," Erwin cautioned, using his title for the first time in a long time on this mission, trying to restore structure and normalcy when the whole world had gone straight to hell.
"I want the radio, Hange, Kearney and O'Seanessey in the middle, where they can be best protected. Everyone's carrying books, so just be mindful of where your nearest comrade's pack is at all times, especially if he or she dies or is maimed. We can't afford to lose those books. Guard those packs with your lives." Erwin ordered.
Levi glared at him, but didn't contradict the order. Instead, he'd quietly ignore it, and save whoever needed saving, the books be damned. Irreplaceable or not, they were nowhere near as irreplaceable as every single man and woman here.
It was impossible to be stealthy and subtle with so many soldiers in uniform carrying a crate, but no one attacked or even harassed them, another clear sign that fear was even more rampant in the Underground than usual. He didn't think anyone would have the guts to follow them, but he ordered Josef to be on rear guard, because he'd be most likely to spot a tail, if there was one.
If the Underground felt this weird, this wrong, how would Sina feel? Were the spoiled, wealthy, entitled inhabitants cowering in their homes? Not likely, not unless something earth-shattering had occurred. Of course, feeling that explosion below their feet in the Underground would have shaken at least some of them for a while: the wire thin silver lining of those bastards blowing up the Library. He hated that, that every disaster, no matter how catastrophic, always contained a tiny sliver of good, though usually not for those who had weathered the chaos.
"Are you alright? You're looking crankier than usual," Hange asked.
He scowled at her for being out of position, even as Erwin reprimanded her, and ordered her back to the center of their formation.
"I'm fine," Levi insisted, afraid that if he didn't say anything, Hange would ignore the order, or at least delay and linger. Any other time that would have been fine, but Erwin was still too damn touchy right now because of everyone pledging their support to him.
Hange looked intently at him, then nodded, either satisfied, or seeing how anxious he was to placate Erwin.
When they finally neared the cavern entrance, a long, narrow crack barely wide enough to fit the crate, that didn't look like it led to anything, Levi insisted he scout inside before the rest of them entered. Erwin reluctantly agreed.
"Same signals as before," Levi ordered, signaling to Hange to rig the charges she'd rescued from the tunnel along the outside of the crack, on the off chance anyone was inside and listening.
"Be careful," Erwin ridiculously cautioned.
Hearing him say it, though, made Levi's heart just a little lighter. Erwin still gave a damn about him, even after what he'd revealed, and how the others had reacted.
"You too. Don't let anyone sneak up on you," Levi ordered. Then he slipped inside the crevice.
