A/N: TattleTales: Alec really was struggling that day, wasn't he?


Alec awoke to the scent of Magnus filling his nostrils. He inhaled deeply, sighing with content. His arms were wrapped around that wonderful scent and he squeezed, holding it close to him.

But it was all wrong. What he was squeezing was way too soft to be Magnus. As he shook off the cloudiness that comes with waking up gradually, he remembered what was wrong.

Magnus was at the NBA combine in Chicago. Alec was at his parents' penthouse in Manhattan. Wrong wrong wrong.

He looked at the pillow in his arms. Magnus's pillow. He'd stolen it while they were packing up the dorm. He'd also stolen the shirt off his boyfriend's back and draped it over the pillow so that it would smell even stronger like him. He knew that was pathetic, and he didn't give a shit. Unfortunately, in the nearly four weeks since Magnus had left, his scent was fading rapidly. Alec wondered what Magnus would think if he asked him to send one of his sweaty practice jerseys to him. Pathetic.

He'd moved all of his stuff back to the penthouse because, as far as he was concerned, he would not be living in a dorm next year. He'd either be living with Magnus off-campus, or transferring to another university to finish his education. Magnus hadn't said anything when Alec packed up all his shit right along with him, which Alec was taking as a good sign. Denial? Nope.

He'd kept busy the last few weeks, too. He spent lots of time with his siblings, as much time as possible really. He'd gone shopping with Isabelle, even though he hated it, and had even let her pick out a whole new 'stylish' wardrobe for him. Since her acceptance to whatever this program in Paris was, she'd gotten even more into fashion and had insisted on making sure her brother looked good. She was scary when she insisted. He was quite sure some of the items they bought would get donate to some charitable organization instead of ever adorning his body, but she felt better purchasing them, so who was he to argue.

Then, the whole family had packed up Jace's things and moved him in to his dorm at Wake Forest University in North Carolina. That had been a weird experience for Alec. Sure, he'd gone through it already, but not from this side. He felt a huge sense of loss when they left Jace, even though he knew there was a chance he would be moving halfway across the country himself. Leaving Jace was just…weird. They were still very close, even if they didn't get to spend much time together these days.

After that, he'd preoccupied himself with hanging with his little brother, Max. In Alec's absence, Max had developed quite an artistic ability. He was still very into his comic books and magna stuff, and they spent hours and hours reading and talking about them. Then, one day, they decided to draw their favorite characters. Alec's drawing skills were lacking, to put it nicely, and his character looked much more boxy with sharper angles than it should have. Max's was nearly perfect. After fawning over the drawing, Alec wanted to know if this skill extended past his characters, so he challenged his little brother to draw all sorts of things: cars, dogs, people, whatever. His little brother was amazing!

Then, one day last week, he'd met up with Will and Jem to do some maintenance at Momma H's. He wanted to make sure that gutter he'd noticed at Christmas was fixed properly, and there was plenty of other work that needed to be done. He'd spent the day mostly on his hands and knees weeding, replanting, and mulching the flower beds out front. They'd trimmed tree branches and shrubs, painted the mailbox, and yes, fixed the gutter. The next day, Alec wondered how someone who worked out at a minimum of once a day, could hold a hundred pound girl above his head for two freaking minutes, and could contort his body in all sorts of twists and turns mid-air, could possibly be so freaking sore after gardening!

He was trying to figure out what to do next to keep himself busy and keep his mind off the upcoming draft when he got a text from Devin. There was a Gay Pride event on NYU's campus that Dylan really wanted him to attend. He'd thought about it for only a moment, then decided what the hell. Why not? He was in college, and wasn't that the time in his life he was supposed to experiment and find himself, or whatever all those coming-of-age movies where supposed to be about? So he'd agreed to meet Dylan at the frat house where he'd met him for that party.

He checked the clock, jumped in the shower, and spent a few minutes styling his hair.

A short time later, a cabbie dropped him off as close to frat row as they could get and meandered in the direction of the large brick building he recognized. The street the frat houses lined had been shut down and what appeared to be a huge street festival took the place of cars. He had expected to see people with megaphones and signs, demonstrating for the cause, but evidently this wasn't that kind of event. He didn't know if this was more 'typical' for Gay Pride events, and wondered if maybe this was the difference between 'event' and 'demonstration.'

He walked past the barrier closing off the road and looked around to get his bearings. The street was lined with booths. Some, he noted were informational, containing pamphlets about LGBT groups and causes. Some had amazing art or other types of crafts on display, presumably for sale. There were food vendors, whose offerings wafted on the gentle breeze and made his stomach grumble, even though he'd recently eaten.

Oh, and everything - everything - was covered in rainbows.

But the thing he found most intriguing were the people. There were people everywhere! He spotted two guys walking together with a little girl between them, holding their hands. Another couple, both buff and attractive men, each had a little boy on his shoulders. A lesbian couple trying on what appeared to be hand-knitted scarves were very affectionate to each other. He saw what he thought might be a guy in wispy sundress holding hands with another guy.

He'd never seen so many same sex couples in one place. He'd never seen so many same sex couples with their relationship on display. And the kids! There were kids everywhere! There were even little carnival rides for them, like a carousel and some other stuff.

How had he grown up in the same city as events like this and known nothing about them? He suddenly felt like he'd missed out on something important in his childhood. He'd been to street festivals before, but not one's like this…

The sun glinting off some metal caught his eye. He found the source: a short girl, her face studded with piercings and body covered in tattoos stood facing him. She wore capri camo pants, a form-fitting black tank, and her dreadlocks were painted or dyed all the colors of the rainbow. Somehow, even though he hadn't seen her in more than a year, and at that time she'd had wavy hair with a pink streak, he recognized her instantly.

"Mo?" he said in surprise.

"Alec? Oh my god!"

She launched herself into his arms and spun him around, much like she had that fateful night at the frat party where they'd met, the night all hell broke loose between him and Magnus.

"You look amazing!" she gushed, then looked as if she wasn't sure if she should say something. Apparently deciding to, she said, "So, what ever happened to you and…um…Magnus Bane?"

He looked stunned for a moment, then remembered that his relationship with Magnus wasn't exactly Top Secret anymore. "Have you been watching the sports news?" he teased.

She shrugged. "Maybe," she said evasively, then, "I can't believe he kissed you like that!"

Alec laughed. "Honestly, neither could I. We've been together for over a year now. Since that weekend I met you, actually. Things are going…good," he hedged.

She quirked a multi-pierced eyebrow. "Spill it."

"He's at the NBA combine in Chicago. I haven't seen him since the Monday after he graduated. I just…miss him. And when he comes home, he'll have a few days before the draft and then…I don't know where he's going or what's going to happen to us."

"You're not going with him?"

"I don't know. I want to, but he wants me to get my degree and there aren't many schools that offer my program."

"Ahhh," she said unhelpfully.

"Enough about me. What's going on with you? I never saw you again after that party."

Her expression grew dim. "Well, I um…dropped out of school," she confessed as she toed the ground with her shoe.

"Dropped out? Why?"

"My parents," she stated darkly. Alec waited for her to continue. "My parents are the snobby, rich Connecticut type with a summer home in Martha's Vineyard and everything."

This information surprised Alec. Mo certainly didn't look the part.

"Anyway, normally when I go home for holidays, I conform to their standards: cocktail parties and no piercings and all that bullshit. That year, I'd just gotten a new tattoo. This one," she said, pointing to a large butterfly on her neck. It looked like one that would be difficult to cover for her socialite parents. "They were pissed, but they just left me home and probably told their friends I was sick or something. Then, on Christmas morning, they tried to force me to go to church. I told them no. Their church is one of those gays-are-the-devil type churches. I said, 'Mom, Dad, I'm a lesbian and one day you're just going to have to deal with that.'"

"How did that go over?"

Mo laughed without humor. "How do you think? They kicked me out. Told me I wasn't welcome in their home and they would no longer financially support me if I was going to continue to, how did they put it? Tarnish their reputation."

"Oh, Mo, I'm so sorry." He pulled her into a hug, because she looked like she really needed one.

"It's okay. I figured they would react like that, so before I did it, I took out a large cash advance on my credit card. I had enough cash to pay my bills for a couple of months, but there wasn't any left over for tuition. So I quit school. I hated it anyway. Had no idea what I was going to do or what degree I was working toward." She shrugged again.

"What did you do?"

"Found a job. As a barmaid." She laughed. "Can you imagine that? Anyway, I guess I did well enough, or maybe I sucked so bad they had to find something else for me to do. So they made me a bartender. Money was better. Tips were decent. And it was enough to keep me from having to live on the streets."

"Anyway, the bar had live bands a couple nights a week. One night, they had this cool punk-y type band called the Flaming Pixies. They were awesome. They needed some help with load-out because their usual guy had to leave unexpectedly, so my boss asked me to help. Right, me? Not the six-four shirtless hunk that was bartending with me that night." She rolled her eyes at this. "Whatever. So I did, and ended up talking to the lead singer. Her name's Christa, and she's gorgeous! We hit it off, and now I'm one of their roadies! They were the opening band for a hot new act called No Fucking Way. Yeah, I know. They're weird, but people seem to like them. Anyway, we just got off the road and here I am."

She looked so much happier at the end of that speech than she had at the beginning. But there was something Alec wanted to know. "So, how well did you and Christa hit it off?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she giggled.

"She's my girlfriend. We've been together for about six months."

"That's great!"

"She's here if you want to meet her. The whole band is."

"Absolutely!"

Mo led him down the street, looking from side to side to make sure they didn't miss the others. Alec could hear a live band in the distance the further down the street they went. Eventually, she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward a group of people sitting around a pile of instrument cases, chatting away with some other people in a booth selling local band cds. Alec saw one for Infernal Devices and smiled.

"Hey, guys, I want to introduce you to someone," Mo said as they approached the group. Everyone turned to face them then, their conversation dying off. "Everyone, this is my friend Alec. We met when I was at Idris University. He's the cheerleader," she added in a stage whisper, and everyone brightened. Apparently, she had mentioned him before. How odd. They'd only met once. Something on his face must have given his thoughts away. "I told them about you rescuing me from that octopus at the frat party, the one who couldn't keep his hands to himself."

Alec laughed, remembering it clearly. "Anyway, Alec here was pretty new to the gay scene back then. I forgot to ask you if that's changed. Do you come to these events often?"

"No, first time. It's a lot different that what I expected."

"Yeah. So I figure he's needs some education. I know you guys are all cool with your sexuality, and that's kind of what this event is supposed to be about, right? So I thought maybe you guys could tell him a bit about yourselves." The band shrugged like it was no big deal. To Alec she said, "They are an interesting bunch of people."

A girl with flaming red hair that was not a natural color, stepped forward, her hand outstretched. "I'm Christa, Mo's girlfriend. I'm a polysexual lesbian."

Huh? Out loud: "A what?"

"Oh, this is going to be fuuuun," said someone to Alec's right. He looked at the person, did a double-take, and still wasn't sure if it was a guy or a girl. The person had longish straight blonde hair under a loose-fitting knitted cap, wore a T-shirt with their band logo on it and loose-fitting jeans, had piercings in the lip and eyebrow, and black eyeliner. It was impossible to tell if the person was a male or female. He/she was rubbing his/her hands together like he/she was in for a real treat, and grinning from ear to ear.

Christa laughed. "Polysexual lesbian. Means I'm into chicks. All chicks. Any chicks. As long as they feel like they are a girl, I'm into them."

"How's that different from just a lesbian."

"How indeed." Christa smirked. She leaned in close and stage-whispered. "I can deal with a dick as long as the person that owns it is a girl."

Alec had no idea what to make of that. She cracked up at the look on his face, and he felt the heat coloring his cheeks.

A quiet girl behind her stepped forward. "Don't let her fuck with you, Alec," she said. She had straight, jet black hair with bright blue tips cut just past shoulder length. She had friendly eyes and a soft smile that was currently painted as black as her hair. "I'm Sara, by the way. I'm the lead guitarist. And since we're apparently telling all, I'm a gender-fluid asexual."

"A gender…fluid…wait, what? Asexual? Like, you don't have sex?" he spluttered.

She smiled like a mother humoring a small child. "I do. Occasionally. I just don't need it."

"You don't need sex?" This was probably the most foreign concept Alec had ever heard. He needed sex… like, a lot. He just couldn't fathom the concept of not needing sex.

Sara's smile never faltered. "Tell me, Alec. What about sex is so important to you? Is it just getting your rocks off?"

Alec blushed again. Those words coming from that sweet face was just too much. He somehow managed to compose himself and say, "It's…it's not just…that. I mean, that part is amazing, and yes I need it, but…with… with my boyfriend, it's different. It's the… the connection we have… the… the emotions involved. It just…makes me feel closer to him."

Again, that sweet smile. "I don't need sex to feel that connection," Sara said. "I get it from a good back rub, or just snuggle time."

"You… you g-get off…from a back rub?" He knew his face was flaming red now, but he was so curious. He'd never talked to anyone about something like this before.

She made a face. "In a sense, I guess. I don't know. I just know that I don't need sex to feel connected to a guy. But if the mood strikes us, I don't turn it down either. It's just really rare for that to happen."

Alec nodded. "Okay. Wait, what else did you say you were? Gender…something?"

"Gender-fluid. It means that sometimes I feel like a girl, and sometimes I feel like a boy. Today," she made a motion to indicate the short, poofy black skirt she was wearing, along with the black lacy gloves. "Today I feel like a girl."

"Oh. Alright." He totally did not understand her mindset, but who was he to argue with how she felt. He actually thought it was really cool that she was confident enough to be herself.

Sara made a little pouty face. "It does make it terribly hard to find a man though. Can you imagine? I need someone who is okay with me being a guy one day and a girl the next, and okay with only having sex maybe a couple times a year."

Alec's eyebrows went up and he nodded in sympathy. "That does sound like a challenge. I'm sure you'll find him though. You're a really cute girl…and, um, I'm sure a really cute boy, too."

The whole group laughed at his awkwardness. He was starting to get used to that.

He turned to the next band member. He was a guy with short brown hair that was longer on top and tossed back in a skater-boy wave. He had beautiful green eyes, perfect white teeth, and the cutest dimples. He was probably half a foot shorter than Alec, and he needed no introduction with regard to his instrument of choice. The drum sticks in his hands were a dead giveaway.

"Matt," he said with a moderately deep, sexy voice. He twirled his drum sticks. "Drummer. Trans-male."

Alec froze. "Wait. You're… a girl?"

Matt glared at him. Mo backhanded his arm. "No. He's a guy," she said pointedly.

Alec quickly realized his mistake and felt like shit. "Sorry, dude. It's just… shit. You're really fucking hot!"

Matt's rough edges softened. "Thanks, but, you're not my type." Alec tilted his head to the side. "I'm straight," Matt added.

Alec was all kinds of confused now. The look on his face must have showed it. The others were snickering behind their hands at him. Fortunately Matt decided to have pity on him, because he was not about to ask him any more questions. He felt like he'd offended this guy enough.

"I was born with a female body, but it never felt right. I started taking male hormones years ago, but I haven't had the surgery yet. I'm kind of afraid of going under the knife, you know? But I've been trying hard to make everything else about me male. And I appreciate you saying I'm hot."

"So, you've always thought of yourself as a guy?" Alec said, and Matt nodded. Alec blew out a breath. "Thank god. I was starting to question my own sexuality." The others laughed as he shook his head. "So since you are attracted to girls… that makes you straight, right?"

"Now you're catching on!" said Mo happily. Alec felt an inexplicable sense of relief.

"They've saved the best for last," said the person Alec was completely unsure of. Even hearing the voice didn't help. Alec waited with bated breath to see what was in store for him this time. The right side of his/her lips quirked upward in a smirk. "I'm Ronnie The Fabulous Keyboard Player." He/she said this as if it were an actual title. "For the record, I'm an androgynous pansexual."

"Meaning?" Alec asked with curiosity.

"Meaning I reject all preconceived notions about gender… and I love everyone."

Alec remembered hearing the term pansexual before, and he said so. "I've heard the term pansexual before. I'm still confused about the difference between that and bisexual, though."

"Yeah. Well, the main difference is that 'bisexual' was created by people who didn't know what they were talking about. More specifically, by people who see gender as a binary. Either you are male, or you are female," Ronnie added to Alec's questioning look. "Then, people began to realize that gender is in fact not a binary. There are men on one end and women on the other, and many, many points in between. It's a spectrum, you see?"

Alec nodded. He felt he was starting to understand what they were talking about, even if none of it really applied to him personally. Clearly there were people who didn't feel like they were in the right body or that felt differently depending on the day, or something like that. Feeling like he'd conquered something, he said, "So, the androgynous thing? You just don't want people to know if you are a boy or a girl?"

Ronnie snorted. "That's an overly simplistic way to put it. The problem with society is they want to categorize everything. They want there to be a specific way someone acts. That's not just with regard to gender, it's everything. You're supposed to look a certain way, dress a certain way, follow a certain religion. There's a certain age when it's appropriate to date, have sex, get married, have children. And damn it all if you don't follow societal norms!" Ronnie shrugged. "I reject that."

"In a sense, we all do," supplied Mo. "I mean, if we were all doing 'what we were supposed to do.'" She used her fingers to put that phrase in air quotes. "These guys wouldn't be in a band, none of us would have piercings or tattoos, and we sure as hell wouldn't be sleeping with someone that shares our gender."

"What fun would that be?" Christa said with a smirk.

Alec couldn't disagree with that. "So how did that all start for you?" He directed this to Ronnie.

Ronnie shrugged. "Well, it started because I didn't have asshole parents that forced me to be something I'm not. If I was good, mom would take me to the toy aisle and let me pick what I wanted. Sometimes I wanted the Barbie doll, sometimes the toy truck. Why the fuck are toys gender-specific anyway? It's stupid. Anyway, I wanted to learn to skateboard, so they let me. I played soccer, which is a sport boys and girls play, and that was part of the appeal to me, but I wasn't challenged playing on the girls team so my mom made them let me play on the boys team." Ronnie stopped short, realizing what she'd just said.

"So you're a girl," Alec stated.

"Damn," Ronnie said, looking bummed. "I usually don't confess that quickly. But yeah, I'm a girl. I don't have a problem with being a girl. Sometimes I even wear dresses. Sometimes I want to play with quote-unquote girly things, sometimes I want to stick my hands in the mud and make a giant mess. I just don't think deciding what you want or like has any bearing on what's in your pants."

"Yeah," Alec said. "Absolutely. I mean, my sister is probably the girliest girly girl I've ever known, but she's a strong woman and she fights dirty so I still wonder if she couldn't kick my ass." They all laughed at that. Seriously, Alec is a big, strong guy. "The one thing I don't get is how what you are saying differs from what Sara said. Gender… fluid, right?"

Sara grinned and nodded. Ronnie grinned, too. "The difference is I don't really feel like a guy. I'm a girl. I know I'm a girl. I just dress and act the way I want to."

"Oh, okay. That makes sense." Alec laughed suddenly.

"What?" said Mo.

"It's just…I never thought I'd feel boring because I'm just gay."

The whole group laughed again. It was kind of funny to think about it that way. "You know, there is something else I don't get," Alec said thoughtfully. "Ronnie, you said that society wants to categorize us, make us different somehow from what they consider normal. But you each have a couple of different labels attached to your sexuality. How's that different?"

"Because," Ronnie said, "as you said, they want to label us to point out our differences. We label ourselves so we can understand ourselves. So we know what we want and how to make ourselves happy. My label doesn't really mean anything, it's just a way for me to let everyone know how I feel about myself, how I feel inside. No one can see that person, the person I am on the inside, so I tell them with labels."

Alec nodded. He started to say something else, but Christa interrupted.

"Come on guys. We gotta get to the stage and get set up."

The others noticed the time and agreed. They grabbed their instrument cases and walked the short distance to the stage. Matt's drums were already there, waiting to be assembled. Alec snacked on Italian sausage with grilled onions and peppers and a funnel cake while the band set up their equipment and did a quick sound check.

The Flaming Pixies were really good. Christa had a great voice and the whole band put on a good show. They were fun and lively and their music was entertaining. A large crowd formed during their performance, so it was no surprise when Alec felt someone bump into him. It actually took him a few moments to realize the person was trying to get his attention.

"Dylan!" he shouted so he could be heard over the music. The song ended, and turned out to be the last one the Flaming Pixies were performing. Alec stepped away from the band and applause to talk to Dylan.

"Hey, man," Dylan said, shaking Alec's hand. "Glad you could make it. Are you having fun?"

Alec nodded enthusiastically. "This is great! Have you met the band? I know their roadie from Idris." He pointed to Mo and her flaming rainbow colored dreadlocks.

"Yeah. I've seen them play before. They've been doing this event for a couple of years." Dylan said. "Listen, Alec, I had an ulterior motive inviting you here."

Alec raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Look, Idris University has a really pathetic excuse of an LGBT community. They need help. They need someone to take charge and organize events."

Alec couldn't really say if that was true or not. He'd never heard of any Gay Pride events on campus or anything of the sort, but he hadn't gone out of his way to look for them either. He suddenly thought it funny that he'd attended more gay-related events at NYU than his own college. "And?" he said, breaking from his thoughts and addressing Dylan again.

"And I want you to do it. We can help you get started and teach you how to do it. You know NYU has excellent programs…"

Alec held up his hands, taking a few steps back. "That's not my thing, man. I'm not an organizer or planner or anything like that. Besides, I don't even know if I'm going to be at Idris next year."

"What do you mean?"

"Magnus is at the NBA combine right now. I may be going with him depending on where he goes."

"Oh…okay. Well, if you decide to stay, just think about it. I'm sure we can figure something out," Dylan said, looking far more disappointed than Alec thought he should. Whatever.

Alec said a quick goodbye to the band and Mo, promising to see them next time they played in the city. Then, he and Dylan walked back toward the other end of the street. He paused to buy an Infernal Devices cd and got one of the Flaming Pixies, too. He really did like their music. When they got back to the part of the street that wasn't closed off, Alec hailed a cab and said goodbye to Dylan. He promised to think about what Dylan had said, but he really couldn't see himself organizing an LGBT group on campus or setting up something like the event he'd just attended. He would gladly attend more of these events if they were anything like this one, but he didn't think his interest would extend much further than that.

The sun was low in the sky when he flopped onto his bed in the Lightwood penthouse. He stared at the ceiling, mulling over the things he'd learned today, the people he'd met, the offer Dylan made. His cell phone vibrated on his bedside table, pulling him from his thoughts. He smiled when he saw the name lit up on the screen.

"Hey," he said, dropping just a bit of seduction into his tone.

"Hey, baby," Magnus replied back. His body tingled as he imagined his boyfriend's touch, his warm breath on his skin. He missed him so badly. Magnus echoed his thoughts. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. How's the combine?" Though they talked every day, Alec still asked how things were going every day. Wasn't that what good boyfriends were supposed to do? His mind flashed back to today's conversations and he wondered if he should even think the words 'supposed to' anymore.

"Good. I think I impressed some people today. My sprint numbers where pretty good, nearly top of the class. Then, I had to sprint while dribbling the ball and not travel." Magnus chuckled. "That was tough, but I had fewer turnovers than anyone else today, so…"

"That's great, Magnus!" Alec said earnestly. "Not that I'm surprised. You're the best ball-handler I've ever seen play live."

"Shut up. The Knicks have had some great point guards over the years," Magnus said, but Alec could tell he appreciated the compliment. "Anyway, how was your day? Weren't you attending a Gay Pride event or something today? How'd that go?"

Alec's heart swelled as a grin spread across his face. Even as busy as Magnus was, he still remembered Alec was doing something special today, too. The sudden longing in his chest was painful. "Yeah, I did. You won't believe what happened either. I ran into Mo…Yeah, you remember her..."


A/N: This is one of those chapters inspired by reviews. You guys seemed to get into the chapters where Alec explores the LGBT world he has so far felt detached from. So thanks for the feedback.

These characters were all based on research and testimonials from people who actually identify with some of these descriptions. The research was fascinating, and the people involved are inspiring. It takes a lot of guts to be yourself, especially if you differ from societal norms. If any of you readers want to tell your story, feel free to PM me. I'm a good listener.

PS, The University of Kentucky cheerleaders won their 21st national title yesterday. Their routine is online if you want to check it out. I got to see it live at a game. Unbelievable.