Hey guys, Ultimate Saiyan here. Now I know you guys are probably gonna say "WTF" when you read this, but I've decided to do a Table-centric saga for once.

Yes, that's right.

The Meg Griffin of DBZ College is getting his own little mini-story because honestly, that poor bastard needs it.

So all you need to do is sit back and watch the ejaculations (teehee!) of my wonderful mind.


11:00 AM – Dorm 666

The guys were just chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and shootin' some B-Ball outside of the-

Sorry.

Goku was looking at himself in the mirror. "I don't know about this, Raditz."

The long-haired Saiyan sighed. "What is it with you and skinnies, Kakarot?" he asked, "They're not that bad, just ask Marcellous."

Marcellous was checking his ass out in a pair of skinny jeans. "Hot damn, I look SEXAY!"

Raditz chuckled. "You're supposed to be 'gangsta' and sag them."

Marcellous pulled his pants down until they exposed his boxers. "Get out the wayyy...pretty boy comin' through!"

Vegeta, also clad in skinny jeans, put on his fitted cap and turned up the his iPod stereo, which was blasting Soulja Boy Tell 'Em's "Pretty Boy Swag".

"This...right here...is my...swag...all...the girls...are on me..."

Raditz pulled up his skinny jeans to reveal his own boxers and a studded belt and began to dance, while Marcellous began to pass out do-rags. They all started dancing...

….until Table walked in.

"Get ou-"

"No, let him stay." Marcellous started, "What's wrong? You look sad."

Table sniffled a little and sat down on one of the beds. "Me and Clare broke up..."

Raditz looked shocked. "Why?"

Table was about to cry. "S-she said I-i wasn't m-man enough for her..."

Goku raised an eyebrow. "Well...you were the bottom in the BDSM stuff..."

Table began to cry a river. "She was my first girlfriend! I NEED her!"

Vegeta scoffed. "Foolish little brother, there will always be more girls."

"No, Vegeta." Table wept, "I seriously need her, she was the only one who knew just how to tickle my balls so-"

"Stop, please." Marcellous asked. "I don't want to hear about your latex-bound sexual escapades."

Vegeta started reading the paper. "...Marcellous, come here for a second."

Marcellous walked over to Vegeta and the two began to converse in private while Goku and Raditz comforted Meg- I mean, Table.

"Clare put an ad in the college paper for a new maid." Vegeta whispered.

"Really?" Marcellous asked, "It makes sense, she's always away."

"...Table really wants her back in his life."

"I know, I feel sorry for him."

Vegeta sighed. "Have you ever seen Mrs. Doubtfire before?"

"Yeah, of course." Marcellous said as his eyes widened shortly afterward. "You're not thinking..."

"Oh yeah."

Marcellous couldn't help but smile. "That's not a bad idea, actually. Read the requirements."

"Lots of experience...female...English...good at cooking..."

"I gotta admit, Table makes a pretty mean meatloaf."

"So should we tell this to him?"

"Later. Let's keep this between you and me. Raditz has a big mouth and Goku's too plain stupid."

"I got you."

Marcellous and Vegeta turned around.

"Hey guys?" Marcellous asked, "Could you run out and get some...German sausage?"

Raditz raised an eyebrow. "..Why?"

"...Oh, so you don't want an awesome sausage night. I got you."

Goku and Raditz were already gone.

Table turned to his brother. "Sausage-"

Vegeta had somehow acquired some dresses, plaster, wigs, and other costume props, and Marcellous was matching up cheeks, noses, wrinkles, contacts and the like to Table's face.

"What are you guys doing?"

Marcellous handed Table the paper ad. "Have you ever seen Mrs. Doubtfire?"


The Akatsuki member Kakuzu was spying on Dorm 666. "Pein-sama, when should we strike?"

Pein sighed as he lounged about on the couch. "Not today, Kakuzu. It's Table's special this time."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Special? This time? What are you talking about?"

Pein handed Itachi a book titled "DBZ College". "Read this; you'll get it when you finish."


10:15 PM – Bathroom

Table was trying on his new mask.

"So what do you think?" he asked .

Marcellous and Vegeta could only look and smile.

"...Well?"

"Any closer..." Vegeta started, "and you'd be...mom."