Claire tapped her toes nervously as she stared at the long, winding road that cut through the field in front of her house. Several times, she didn't realize that she was holding her breath. Her anxiety was the direct result of an upcoming visit. She had decided that it would be wise to remove Barnaby's old junk from the basement, and she would need an extra set of hands to get the job done faster. As much as she would like to watch Owen moving boxes all day (and she really, really would), she couldn't allow him to do all of the physical labor alone. They talked it through, and decided that they would have to inform someone about her situation. After careful consideration, they agreed that it was time to tell Karen the whole truth.

Claire was nervous about seeing her sister, especially since the last time they were together, she was at least five times skinnier and less . . . pointy. To make matters worse, Karen had told Zach and Gray that they were allowed to come with her to Tennessee, which Claire had not agreed to. She wasn't about to scold her sister, however, for fear that she'd tell someone about Claire's secret out of spite. She trusted Karen, but she also knew that she had a tendency to prattle on and on about things, sometimes putting her foot in her mouth when she got really offended. The only option, then, was to pray that everything would go according to plan. In any case, there was no turning back now . . . even though Claire had come up with a million excuses to do exactly that.

"What if I scare the kids?"

Owen, who had been picking his nails absentmindedly, looked up at her from the swing-bench.

"Hm? Oh, don't worry about that, Claire. You don't look scary."

"I have big stabey things coming out of my head!"

"The technical term is 'horns', I think."

Claire scowled.

"Very funny. Whatever you call them, they look scary."

"But you won't use them."

"Doesn't matter. The kids probably have PTSD from the dinosaurs at Jurassic World. What if I send them into a catatonic state?"

"That won't happen."

"But I'm terrifying, Owen!"

He chuckled and placed his hand on her horn.

"Claire, you give yourself too much credit. Zach is a brave kid, and Gray is smart enough to know that you're a herbivore."

"Vegetarian."

"Whatever. Listen, you're going to be fine. Just relax, okay?"

Claire bit her lip.

"What if a bee stings me and I panic and jump around and they think I'm a wild animal and they put me in a zoo and I get fed nothing but hay for the rest of my life?"

Owen blinked.

"Is that really the first theoretical situation you could come up with?"

"It's one of many."

They turned as they heard a car coming down the road. Claire didn't recognize it as Karen's vehicle, but it was entirely possible that she had lost it in the divorce. In any case, it was time to face the family. The car slowed to a stop out in the field, and the passengers began to file out one by one. Claire took a deep breath and prepared to step down from the porch.

"Oh god, what if-"

Owen flicked her on the nose.

"Claire. Relax."

"But they're going to be afraid, I just know it!"

Owen gave her a serious stare, then pushed her forward slowly. She began to move on her own, feeling a sinking sensation in her stomach. She didn't want to terrify the boys, especially when they had the power to disclose her secret and jeopardize her safety. As she made her way towards them, however, they didn't start screaming or running away. In fact, they burst out laughing.

"Oh my god! She's actually a dinosaur!" Zach sniggered.

"That's not a real dinosaur," Gray said seriously, "She's some kind of hybrid. Like the one that was chasing us."

"That looks nothing like the one that was chasing us," Zach declared.

Owen gave Claire a mischievous smile.

"See? I told you they wouldn't be scared."

The boys rushed forward to examine her. Claire shrunk away shyly.

"Can we pet her?" Gray asked Owen.

Just as Claire was shaking her head no, Owen said "Sure!". Before she could protest, Gray ran his hand over her snout like he was petting a horse.

"Wow, she's so warm . . ."

He laughed and hugged her face. Claire tossed her head as he started tickling her chin.

"Okay, that's enough."

Gray beamed enthusiastically.

"She talks!"

"Of course I talk!" Claire snapped, "Didn't your mother tell you anything?"

Karen jogged out from behind the car with two suitcases trailing behind her.

"I told them that you were a dinosaur, but that's about it."

Before Claire could scold her, Zach began to jimmy her horn like a door handle.

"This is pretty strong. You ever stab anyone with it?"

"No!" Claire exclaimed, "I mean, yes, but . . ."

Suddenly, Gray yanked open her mouth and stuck his head inside.

"Zach, look! She's under forty, because she doesn't have any stars on her teeth yet."

Claire pulled away (taking care not to bite his head off) and coughed.

"I'm only thirty, Gray, and-"

Her eyes went wide as Zach began to fiddle with her plates, folding them in and out like they were origami.

"These things are cool. What do you use them for?"

Claire fluttered her plates rapidly to shoo him away. Zach stepped backwards in panic.

"Look, kids, I know you're interested in . . . me . . . but I'd like to remind you that I'm still the same aunt that-"

She froze as Gray hopped up on her back.

"Giddyup!"

"You have exactly three seconds to get off of me."

Gray pouted and slid down her shoulder.

"Why can't you be fun, Aunt Claire?"

Owen scooted between them with a playful smile.

"Hey, kids. Do you wanna see a neat trick?"

Gray nodded eagerly, and Zach looked up from his phone. Owen knelt down and began to tickle Claire's side. She shrieked with laughter and rolled onto her back. Owen climbed up on top of her and scratched her belly. Her right leg began spasming uncontrollably.

"That's so cool!" Gray beamed, "She's just like a puppy!"

Claire mooed abruptly and flung Owen off. She quickly stood up and shook the torn-up grass from her sides.

"I'm not a dog. I'm your Aunt Claire. I haven't changed one bit since we last saw each other."

Zach scoffed.

"Well, it sure looks like you've changed to me . . ."

Karen cuffed him on the arm.

"ZACH! Ignore him, Claire, he's just being a teenager."

Claire nodded, but she couldn't help but feel a little offended. Without warning, Zach whipped out his phone and took a picture of her.

"Zach! This has to be confidential!" she gasped.

"I know. I need a new contact photo."

"Just use the old one!"

"Can't. It was on the other phone."

Karen slapped his arm again and took the phone from his hands, deleting the picture. He rolled his eyes and snatched his phone back, shoving it in his pocket resentfully. Meanwhile, Gray was running his hands along Claire's side, poking her at random intervals.

"How many scales do you have?"

"I've never counted," Claire replied flatly.

Karen pulled him back by his collar.

"I'm sorry, Claire. They're just curious. It's not every day you find out that your aunt is a . . . what did you call yourself?"

"Stegoceratops."

With this, both Zach and Gray began laughing like hyenas. Claire pouted slightly, then backed away, giving a plaintive moo. Karen noticed her distress and gave the boys a warning glare. They stopped laughing. What followed was a period of awkward silence. To dissolve the tension, Owen clapped his hands and pointed to the cabin.

"Who's hungry?"

***TSJWFEW***

After a very awkward lunch, the group split up to do separate tasks. Owen gave Karen a tour of the ranch, while Zach listened to music in his guest room and Gray played his DS on the living room carpet. Claire was supposed to be keeping an eye on the latter, but it was rather difficult, since he was being very boring. Although he didn't budge an inch, he kept glancing over to the couch where she was sitting. When they made eye contact, he'd look away, pretending that he hadn't been staring at her in the first place. She knew that he was itching to ask her questions, but Gray was now aware that she was sensitive about her condition. He wasn't doing a very good job of concealing his interest, however, so Claire decided to allow a controlled discussion.

"You can ask me questions," she said quietly.

"I don't want to, if they make you upset."

Claire took a deep breath.

"I won't get upset."

Gray smiled and sat down beside her, folding up his electronic device.

"How heavy are you?"

Oh, for the love of god! Of all the questions he could have asked . . .

"I'm less than three tons," Claire replied vaguely.

"But how many pounds?"

Claire sighed.

"A lot."

"What is your beak made of?"

Claire blinked.

"It's made of . . . beak . . ."

He ran his hand over it.

"It feels like a bird beak, but all the other dinosaurs have wrinkly beaks."

"I don't really know-"

"Do your plates collect heat?"

Claire shrugged.

"Maybe. I mostly just use them to fly."

Gray's eyes went as wide as snowballs.

"You can fly?"

Claire nodded.

"For short periods of time. It's really exhausting, and I don't do it often."

"How fast can you swing your thagomizer?"

"Fast enough to get it stuck in wood."

"How long is your tongue?"

"Long enough to reach apples on the tree in the backyard."

"What do you eat?"

"Apples. From the tree in the backyard."

"Have you ever fought predators?"

"Yes."

"Did you win?"

"Kind of."

Suddenly, Gray leaned forward and hugged her around the neck.

"Aunt Claire, you're so cool!"

As she returned the hug, she couldn't help but get a little misty-eyed. She quickly blinked away the tears as Gray opened his DS again.

"I named a Pokémon after you."

"Oh, sweetheart, that's so-"

He showed her the screen, and her face fell.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a Bastiodon. I got her from a fossil."

"You can't get DNA from fossils, only amber."

"Amber gets you an aerodactyl."

Claire snuffed.

"Gray, don't you think it would be better if you used something that wasn't so . . . ugly?"

Gray shrugged.

"I was going to get a Deerling, but they aren't in this game. I got it from my cousin, so-"

Claire waved her front foot.

"You know what? It's fine. Just leave it."

They turned as the screen door slid open. Owen and Karen stepped through.

"Hey, Claire. I showed her all of the buildings. Do you want to get started on the cleaning now?"

Claire nodded.

"Sure. Seems like a good idea. We might need to get some gloves from the shed."

Karen nodded and turned to Gray.

"Don't play too much gameboy, okay? I'm going to help Aunt Claire clean out the basement, but until we've sorted everything out, don't go down there. The last person who lived here was a lunatic, so there might be some dangerous trinkets lying around. If you get bored, go play outside, but don't wander too far-"

Gray lifted his hands.

"Mom, I know."

She patted his head and turned towards the door.

"I'm going to get some supplies from the shed. If you need anything, just shout."

Gray nodded.

"I will."

His mother gave him a serious look.

"Remember: don't go in the basement."

"I won't."

***TSJWFEW***

Five minutes later, Zach and Gray were in the basement. They stared at the strange collection of junk that lined the walls, utterly fascinated. There were multicolored jam jars, old car parts, and more dead, stuffed animals than anyone should ever have. These particular displays were rather frightening, as whomever had prepared the animals didn't do a good job of making them look lifelike. They had eyes going in opposite directions, deformed faces, and crooked mouths.

"Whoah. Check this one out . . ." Zach said, pointing to an immobile badger.

Suddenly, the display came to life. It growled and launched itself at Zach, who ducked out of the way. Gray screamed as it tried to maul his shoes. The two boys ran across the basement with the badger in hot pursuit. They looked for somewhere to escape to, but the maze of junk ended abruptly. In desperation, Zach opened an old refrigerator and pushed Gray inside, only to be dragged in as well, falling facedown in a frosty, white material. The door closed behind them just as the badger made a leap for their throats.

"That was close . . ." Gray sighed.

Just as Zach was beginning to wonder why the fridge was so large on the inside, he realized that he was not just feeling the frozen wall-linings of the apparatus, but rather, actual snow. When he looked up, he saw a wintery clearing, complete with massive pines and leafless trees. At the center of the grove was an old-fashioned lamppost, and standing beneath it was a very strange creature. He trotted towards them on cloven hooves and smiled.

"Welcome to Shmarnia."

***TSJWFEW***

Karen dragged a large box into the family room and smiled eagerly.

"I know you want to clean out the old junk from the basement, but I brought you some things from home. I don't mean to add to the pile of trash, but I've been keeping this tucked away in my attic for when you had a family of your own, so . . ."

She grinned and opened the box.

"Here's a copy of the family photo album, so you can remember the crazy things we used to do together. I even made themed segments!"

She handed the album to Owen, who had a better chance of turning pages than Claire. He smiled at the old family photos, until he reached the part labeled "teen years".

"Oh my god. I've never seen so many different scrunchies on one person."

Claire coughed and closed the album.

"It was leftover glam from the eighties. I'm sure you did similar things."

Owen raised his eyebrow.

"I've never worn scrunchies . . ."

Karen handed them a stack of VHS tapes.

"I mostly brought these for the nostalgia, but I noticed that the former occupant left an old machine, so you could probably watch some of them if you want."

Claire went through the movies one by one. Winnie the Pooh . . . Jaws . . . A Christmas Carol . . . King Lear (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger) . . .

Karen grinned sneakily as she reached for the next item.

"Claire, there's someone here who wants to see you . . ."

She pulled out a pink pony.

"Lickety-Split!" Claire gasped.

She held the pony in her front feet, nuzzling it gently.

"I thought I lost her in the big move."

"Nope. She was hiding with Merriweather."

Karen pulled out a purple pony that was covered in rainbows. Owen couldn't stop himself from sniggering.

"We used to play with these ponies all the time," Claire explained, "Lickety-Split was mine, and Merriweather belonged to Karen."

Karen laughed.

"Claire would always boss me around because she was older. We had these imaginary worlds . . . God, it was so cute, but Claire wanted things her way. She let me be a princess, but she always had to be a queen."

With these words, Claire's face fell. She looked at the pony pensively before placing it on the coffee table.

"A lot has changed since then."

***TSJWFEW***

Zach and Gray followed the faun through the woods, shivering with cold.

"So, you said this place is called 'Shmarnia'?" Gray asked, "Isn't that awfully close to Narnia?"

"Narnia?" the faun echoed, "Never heard of it."

Zach narrowed his eyes.

"I find that pretty hard to believe. Are you saying that you've never heard of this book series that just happens to parallel your world?"

The faun shrugged.

"Sorry, no. Must be a coincidence."

"What's your name?" Gray asked.

"Mr. Shmumnus."

***TSJWFEW***

Claire lumbered down to the basement sullenly. Karen didn't know what had set off her gloomy mood, but she was eager to snap her out of it. She decided to get started on the cleaning, as it could potentially distract Claire from whatever was bothering her.

"I don't think there are many treasures down here, since Barnaby was a complete quack, but if there's anything that even remotely resembles something an actual human being could use, let me know."

As Claire and Karen started rummaging through the mess, Owen examined a poorly-preserved bobcat. The animal had wide, staring eyes and a lopsided grin. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"There's some crazy shit down here . . ."

He jumped in terror as Karen screamed. He ran over to where she was standing, expecting to see some sort of dead body or jar full of eyeballs, but instead, she held up a large box and grinned from ear to ear.

"Do you guys know what this is?!"

Owen's eye twitched.

"Something good? . . ."

"It's a foot-spa!"

Owen blinked.

"What."

Karen rolled her eyes.

"Look! You put your feet inside, and there's jets-"

"How do they fit a whole . . . oh, you mean water jets."

Both Karen and Claire turned to stare at Owen sardonically.

"Are you sure you want to keep him?" Karen asked.

***TSJWFEW***

Zach leaned forward on a quaint table, addressing two sentient muskrats.

"So, this ruler of your world-"

"Kaleesh-Atin."

"Yes, him. So, he just leaves you here to suffer under the rule of the Wan Wizard without even assigning a new government? . . ."

"Yes, but our ruler is coming back!" Mr. Muskrat said cheerfully.

Both Zach and Gray gave him an incredulous look.

"But . . . he left you . . ."

"But our ruler is coming back to fight for us!" Mrs. Muskrat whooped in a slightly uncomfortable tone of voice.

"You shouldn't ignore the fact that he left you just because he's coming back," Gray said, "You sound like a dissatisfied housewife."

Zach gave him a questioning look.

"I heard Mom talking to Margaret the other day," he explained.

***TSJWFEW***

Karen lifted Claire's front foot out of the foot-spa device and replaced it with the other. She dried off her toenails and shook a bottle of nail polish friskily.

"This will brighten up your feet a little. You already have a pretty nice color, though . . ."

Claire sighed.

"Shouldn't we be helping Owen?"

"He said he's fine. I think he likes doing the heavy lifting."

Right on cue, Owen came trotting down the stairs. Claire watched as he bent over and picked up a box of soggy sawdust. When he was out of earshot, Karen turned to Claire with a coy smile.

"You have that look in your eye . . ."

Claire pulled her head back.

"Look? What look? I have no look!"

Karen smiled sneakily.

"You're attracted to him."

"I should hope so, considering we're living together."

Karen twisted her mouth.

"Do you guys . . . you know . . ."

After a moment, Claire shook her head.

"He probably wouldn't want to."

Karen shrugged.

"I dunno. Men are pretty gross. They're attracted to anything with a pulse."

Claire bit her lip.

"I'm not sure I'd want to, either. I don't exactly have a lot of self-esteem right now, so I'd probably end up imagining that I was someone else."

Karen laughed.

"Claire, you are a riot. Have you tried talking to him?"

"No. It's a little scary. I'm worried that if I explain to him why I'm unattractive, he'll realize that I have a point and dump me."

Karen frowned sadly.

"Don't be so negative. He probably likes you just the way you are."

"But I don't want to risk it. I'd like to stay with him for as long as possible. He's . . . He's kind of all I have left from . . . from before."

Karen bit her lip and stopped painting Claire's nails. She waited until her sister was facing her again before proceeding with the conversation.

"Claire, you still have your family. Don't think that Owen is the only person who supports you. I may not know what you're going through, but I'm with you every step of the way."

Claire smiled weakly.

"Thanks, Karen."

With a satisfied hum, Karen finished painting her nails and blew on them gently.

"Do you want another layer?"

Claire scoffed bitterly.

"It won't make a difference."

Karen frowned, placing the bottle to the side.

"Claire . . . Do you want to talk?"

She shook her head.

"No, Karen, I don't think I do. Every time I try to think about things, I end up coming to the same conclusion. I'm fat and ugly and I'd be better off dead."

Karen hugged her face.

"Don't say those things, Claire. It's just gonna take some getting used to. Remember when you bought that blouse that itched at the back, and-"

"Karen, this isn't an article of clothing. I have a new body, and it's the worst possible body to have."

Karen made a noncommittal noise. Claire sighed and looked at her painted nails.

"I may as well take this off. I'll just end up looking stupid."

Before she could peel the paint away, Karen put her hand over her pudgy arm and gave her a serious look.

"Maybe the solution isn't going to be fixed by painting your nails . . ."

Claire cocked her head and frowned suspiciously.

"What are you saying?"

"We have to try harder."

***TSJWFEW***

Zach and Gray were led to the rebel camp, where the mythical hero was waiting. To their surprise, he was a she, and she was a dragon.

"Hello! I am the mythical Kristine, though you were introduced to me through a strange misnomer. Actually, that's not the right term, but I enjoy using big words to impress mortals."

Gray frowned.

"You're a dragon."

"And you're very observant," the dragon sassed.

Zach stepped forward.

"Listen, dragon-lady, we just want to go home."

She gave a snorting laugh.

"Too bad. You have to fight in a war now. Take this."

She handed him a battle axe.

"Are you ready to fight creatures that are ugly and therefore evil in the eyes of Shmarnia?"

"No."

"The battle is tomorrow. Go train or something."

***TSJWFEW***

Karen grunted as she scrubbed Claire's side with a bristly brush. She had ordered her sister to stand in the massive bathtub, which she proceeded to fill with every soap imaginable.

"This will . . . exfoliate . . . your scales . . ." Karen gasped between breaths, "You'll be . . . soft and smooth . . . in no time . . ."

Claire gave a guilty moo.

"Karen, I don't think we can fix this. I'm destined to be repulsive. I'm surprised I don't already smell like a barn."

"Do you want Owen to like you or not?"

"I do, but I don't think-"

Karen shrieked as she tripped over Claire's tail, which was hanging out of the tub. She fell into the foamy water and resurfaced with dripping mascara.

"Oh my god!" Claire gasped.

"It's fine. I'm fine. We're fine. Just give me your hand."

"Foot."

"Your foot isn't going to help."

"No, I mean, my hand is a foot. That's the correct term."

Karen stood up, her clothing dripping with suds.

"Claire, I don't care what you call your body parts. Just help me out of here."

Claire did as she was told. As Karen reached for a towel, she sighed pensively and played with the water a bit.

"Owen calls them hands, too."

Karen didn't reply, because she was dabbing her eyes.

"I think he might be in denial," Claire continued, "I mean, what if he still sees me as a human being?"

"Then you're very lucky," Karen grumbled, "But men are pigs. They'd stick it in anything, I swear."

Claire cocked her head.

"Karen, are you upset about your divorce?"

She flung the mascara-stained towel to the ground.

"He's trying to hide his income by buying paintings!" she growled, "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!"

Claire stepped out of the tub and shook herself off. She gave her sister a hug.

"I'm really sorry, Karen. I wish I could help."

"Can you stab him with your horns for me?"

Claire shook her head.

"No . . ."

Suddenly, her face lit up.

"But I think I know how to make you feel better."

***TSJWFEW***

Gray sobbed over the dead body of the yellow dragon.

"This is all my fault."

Zach looked up from his phone.

"Nah. I'm the one who made a deal with the Wan Wizard."

Gray sniffled.

"Now we'll never get home!"

Suddenly, the dragon sprung to her feet and smiled.

"Surprise! I'm not dead!"

"Ah!"

Zach stumbled backwards, falling on his posterior.

"What the hell?!"

"There's this ancient prophecy that says if I give my life for another person, I get to come back," the dragon explained, "I'm such a hero . . ."

Gray frowned thoughtfully.

"But . . . if you knew you were coming back, doesn't that invalidate your charity?"

The dragon scoffed.

"Well, uh, there wasn't a one-hundred percent chance that I'd come back. I, like, didn't know for sure . . ."

Zach frowned.

"Whatever. Can we just get back to saving Shmarnia?"

The dragon nodded.

"Of course. But first, I need to breathe on a bunch of statues."

Gray blinked.

"Well, if you think that will help . . ."

***TSJWFEW***

Claire and Karen were sitting peacefully on the porch. They were both wearing mud-masks, and had sliced cucumbers placed over their eyes. They listened to the crickets chirping in the springtime heat, breathing deeply in a relaxed manner. Claire heard footsteps approaching her, and deduced that it must be Owen. She didn't expect that he'd try to eat her cucumbers, however.

"Ah! Owen! Those are for my eyes!"

He licked her cheek, then gagged.

"Ew! I thought that was chocolate . . ."

Claire frowned sardonically.

"Why on earth would I put chocolate on my face?"

"I dunno. I don't understand women."

Karen peeled off her cucumbers and looked around.

"Did you happen to come across Zach and Gray?"

Owen shook his head.

"No, but I'm sure they're keeping themselves entertained."

***TSJWFEW***

Zach swung his axe, chopping off a gnome's head in a splash of blood and-

***TSJWFEW***

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right," Karen said, "Are you done cleaning out the basement?"

Owen nodded.

"I didn't find anything useful, unfortunately. I did, however, come across several jars that are probably filled with earwax, or something that looks a lot like earwax."

Claire cringed.

"Yuck. Do you need any help?"

Owen smiled.

"Naw, I'm pretty much done. I just need to haul some of this junk over to my truck so I can drive it down to the dump."

Claire began to stand up.

"I'll help-"

Owen pushed her back down and smiled.

"Don't worry about it, Claire. I don't want to interrupt your . . . uh . . . woman thing."

Karen smiled.

"He's so thoughtful. You've chosen well, Claire. Mom would be proud."

They smiled and held hands (or feet, in Claire's case). As Owen turned away, abashed by their personal moment, he caught sight of two frazzled boys running towards them.

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Gray called, "You'll never guess what-"

The boys screamed in terror as she looked at them with her paste-covered face. Owen laughed lightly, then wandered away so that they could have a family discussion.

"Where have you two been?" Karen asked sternly.

Zach shrugged.

"Nowhere."

"We were in a magical world!" Gray beamed, "There were gnomes and muskrats and harpies-"

"Oh, my!" Claire smirked, "Sounds like an adventure."

Gray shook his head quickly.

"I'm not making this up! We were actually in a magical fridge-world! There was this dragon, and she said that we could stay until we were old, but I thought that might be irresponsible, since you told us to be back by supper-"

Karen held up her hand.

"Alright, that's enough sugar for you . . ."

Gray stomped his foot.

"Really! I can prove it! The fridge-"

He was cut off by the sound of a motor. They all turned to see Owen driving away in his truck. The fridge was sitting in the back, ready to be dropped off at the nearest dump.

"Oh, poo," Gray huffed.

***TSJWFEW***

When Owen got back from his trip, they all had dinner as a family. It didn't even feel forced or unnatural: they just did what people usually do. Of course, Zach and Gray giggled a bit when Claire got a sprig of parsley stuck in her beak, but other than that, it was smooth sailing.

After dinner, Owen washed the dishes, and Claire stood by him for moral support. She felt guilty for not pitching in, but Owen assured her that he didn't want her to ruin her nails . . . even though the real reason probably had to do with the fact that she was like a bull in a china shop. She was flattered that he'd noticed, nonetheless.

The best part of the night, however, came when Gray shuffled over to his aunt, DS in hand. He held up the screen to show her "Claire the Bastiodon".

"I've been feeding her blue poffins," he announced, expecting Claire to understand what he was on about.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"She's at maximum beauty."

Claire squinted.

"She doesn't look any different."

"Beauty doesn't show up on the visual display."

Claire nodded slowly.

"So, you're saying that she's beautiful on the inside? . . ."

Gray shrugged.

"Well, it's more of a statistic-"

Claire cut him off by giving him a big hug.

"Sounds good to me."

She squeezed him gently, then let him go, ruffling his hair.

"What do you say we go for a ride?"

"In the car?"

"Nope."

She scooped him up with her tail and placed him on her shoulders. With a jolly moo, she cantered out the front door.

"Wheeeeeeeee!" Gray cheered.

Owen smiled as he watched them running across the lawn from the kitchen window. He leaned forward and sighed happily.

"I'm proud of you, Clairebear."