Naruto; What If

Eighth Arc; Turmoil

My standard form of writing applies.

" " - Spoken

' ' - Thought

"Jutsus" - Jutsu. Some are kinda bastardized, so don't expect much.

( ) - Commentary. You should know how this goes by now. We see things. I have snarky smartass comments. You want laughs. I see a mutually beneficial deal here.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Chapter 55 - Breaking Point

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Many thanks to my muse, 01Trycia-chan01, for her help and motivation in writing this chapter.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

[Cue Music: In the Air Tonight, Kelly Sweet. It's yet another remake of Phil Collins, but Kelly has an amazing voice]

So how does it feel, being the dumbest motherfucker on the planet?

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" And I swung, cutting down another pair of clones, bringing my blade back around to catch another who was trying to get behind me.

Oh yeah, scream to the world how insane you are. Go right ahead, you could use a bit of time in a padded cell. In fact, you could use a LOT of time in a cell.

Fuck off and die already, you smug son of a bitch.

I could just see the little fucker rolling his eyes. Uh-huh. Speaking of dying, who do you think is going to be doing that tonight?

YOU, if you don't shut up.

Once more, I swung wide, missing one of the clones by fractions of an inch as he ducked, just before I was rewarded for my efforts by getting shwacked in the face on the backswing. I was already pretty irritated, and taking a boot to the face was NOT helping my mood.

You really don't get it, do you?

No, he doesn't.

Fucking lovely, now they're talking to each other.

We've been talking to one another since long before you could hear either of us, so get used to it, bub.

Fuck my life. Girlfriend who turns out to be a cheating skank, TWO teachers who can't keep their hands/penises to themselves, this damned pain in my chest that won't go away, everyone and his fucking mother think they know what's best for dear old Sasuke, and I've got bloody voices rattling around in my head like some kind of assholish roommates that don't ever shut up.

But worst of all?

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO KILL!

"I swear, I'll cut both of you chucklefucks out of my goddamn head if you don't shut up!" I growled, taking down yet more clones who mocked me, a few even taking the form of-

Of Anko. I can't even begin to describe how much it hurt, cutting them down. The screams sent tears streaking down my face, made my heart feel as though it would burst.

Go right the hell ahead, dumbass. You'll still hear me mocking you as a fucking vegetable.

"Alright, fuck this. Where's the sake?" I growled, throwing down my sword and angrily stomping out of the training field.

. . .

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here, drinking on top of the monument. Five, six, seven... I've lost count of the bottles. It's dark out, the moon hidden behind storm clouds, not even a single star in the sky. It would be too much to hope for a would-be assassin to show up and give me a decent way to work off this anger. To distract me from this unbearable pain.

Why, why does it hurt so much inside?

Because you love her. That pesky voice of reason answered my rhetorical question, somehow cutting through the alcoholic haze that had settled over my mind.(So much for that plan)

"What?" I dumbfoundedly said, shocked by such a statement.

Oh, admit it already. Don't you remember what Itachi said? That love and hate are not opposites?

What does that have to do with anything? They are completely different emotions.

Idiot. Fine, ignore me and do whatever the hell you want. She'll be gone soon enough, anyway.

"The hell do you mean by that?" I growled, thoroughly irritated by these damned riddles and half-answers.

She's just going to do exactly as you told her to do. Figure it out.

Wait, what?! Exactly as I-

Oh, Kami.

I was already on my feet, dropping the ceramic jug as my chakra flared, performing the fastest, most precise shunshin that's ever been done by a man with more liquor than blood in his veins.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

With Anko

Kill yourself... Just kill yourself, he says. He doesn't care anymore. Just another man, another heartless boy who didn't care. Another worthless fucker to abandon me, to think I'm not worth the air I breathe.

Sasuke was so much like Sensei in so many ways. The way he made me feel alive, made me look forward to every time we'd meet, even made me forget the painful emptiness in my heart. He could see past the bluster, right through the course exterior I've spent so much time perfecting. But now he uses it to torment me, that fucking bastard.

Why do I keep driving them away, each and every one of them? What the hell is wrong with me?!

Because you enjoy this kind of torture, this pain that never goes away.

"Shut up, Orochimaru." This damn fucking curse always acts up whenever I get like this, letting the piece of that bastard sealed inside of me talk my ear off. Tch, and he always knows just how to twist the knife, the asshole.

Oh, why so angry? You know I so enjoy our little talks. I never get to see you anymore, Anko-chan.

"Fuck off and die!" I growl before taking another swallow from the bottle in my hand, thoroughly fed up with hearing that monster taunting me. Particularly when he uses the same cutesy nickname as he did back when I was a foolish child who trusted him.

You still have that old habit of yours? Ruining your relationships, I mean. Though the alcohol probably isn't helping. Say, is that the kunai I gave you?

In my other hand was the very same kunai Sensei gave me, all those years ago. The one that's been both my greatest weapon, and the heaviest burden I carry. Once more, I considered driving it into my chest, if only to shut the bastard up.

Fufufufufufu... You won't do it. This will end the same as every other time you sat there cursing and sulking with a bottle in one hand, and that knife in the other. You're too weak.

Too weak. Too fucking weak. I've always been too weak to follow through, always backed out before doing something irreparable. Not this time.

"No. I am not weak. I'm not the same little girl you left to die. You want me dead, Sasuke? Then you got your fucking wish!"

And with that, I drove the weapon home, savoring the icy burn of steel splitting through my own flesh. It hurt so beautifully, this physical agony that I'm so used to; the kind that overshadows all others. I could already feel the searing hot blood pouring out, scalding my fingers as it flowed down my abdomen in rivulets, slowly dripping onto the floor.

For the first time I could remember, that son of a bitch had nothing to say, no final snide remark to send me on my way. Within moments, I lost the feeling my fingers, my legs starting to feel cold and numb. I could feel the warmth leaving my body, the life slowly dripping out of me.

'For once, maybe just once, I won't have anything more... To...' And as my eyes dragged themselves shut, I could feel my consciousness drifting, floating above my body. My skin was far more pale than usual, a small smile on my face.

[Cue Music: Because of You, by Nickleback. It's the best I could come up with, sorry]

But just as the darkness began seeping into my vision, the peaceful grasp of death mere inches away, there was a flash of blinding light.

Oh-ho? It seems you won't get to die tonight, Anko-chan.

'W-wha?'

In front of me appeared someone dressed in black, screaming my name; their hands were enveloped in chakra, and I could barely even feel when he pulled out the kunai, pressing those warm hands against the self-inflicted wound. A soothing numbness spread outward from that point, and the last thing I could feel before the darkness took me, was something warm dripping onto my cheeks.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

I couldn't get there fast enough. By the time I arrived at her apartment, bursting through the door, it was already too late. Anko lay before me with bottle in-hand, a kunai buried in her chest and a contented smile on her face. To say that I was panicking would be an understatement, but my body moved with the same precision as always, habits ground into my very soul from repetitive training.

I pulled her off the couch and laid her down, pulling the weapon out while performing the only medical ninjutsu that Naruto and I had both perfected, one which forces the body to heal itself far more quickly. Not entirely sure how much chakra I forced into the technique, but I'm fairly certain anyone within a ten-mile radius would've felt it.

Just had to tell her that, just had to let the pain overcome your heart.

"Shut up!" I shouted, trying to focus solely on saving her, to find something, anything that might keep Anko alive.

No, I'm done keeping silent! You caused this, so you live with the result. Love works both ways.

"Stop speaking in riddles, or just shut the fuck up entirely!" Oh god, her heart is- No, can't think about that. Focus; mend the muscles, allign the bones, reknit the skin, and remember what Tsunade taught you. No matter how bad it looks, it can be fixed. The body is just a potato clock.

Okay, I've got it. The wound is no longer life-threatening, but for her to do this is just-

It's not pretty, is it?

"Just shut up already!" I growled, ready to kill something with the way this little bastard keeps provoking me.

Just then, there was a groan. "Augh... Huh?" I looked back down, finding Anko laying there with a confused, spaced-out look on her face as she stared up at me.

I couldn't help it as I pulled her into my arms, hugging her tight to my chest. It was just then that I noticed the tears; they'd been running down my cheeks like a pair of waterfalls, softly landing on her shoulder. My own voice shocked me with how even it sounded, despite how I felt. "Don't- Don't ever do anything so stupid again, Anko. You hear me?"

Her voice was a hoarse whisper as she asked, "S-Sasuke... Why are you here? Why did you save me?"

Even I couldn't truthfully answer that question, as I wasn't sure why I did it. I just knew that I had to. "I don't know."

She pulled out of my grasp, glaring at me with angry tears in her beautiful chocolate eyes. "Why won't you let me go? You don't want me, so why won't you just let me go, damnit! Why do you try to hurt me like this?" She demanded, conflicting emotions ranging from anger, pain and desperation, to outright sorrow in her eyes and betrayed by her voice.

Why? Why does the thought of her being gone drive me insane? Why does the prospect of her dying hurt so badly? Why does it anger me so much, that she would want to harm herself over me?!

Love and hatred are not opposites. We hate because we hurt. And we hurt, because we love.

That pesky voice of logic and reason did his best impersonation of my brother, a rather pathetic mockup of his deep, rolling monotone.

Oh, stuff it. Why don't you try mimicking someone without a goddamn voice box, ya prick.

Ahem. But as I was saying, he got his point across, snarky-ass git or no. I looked deeply into Anko's eyes, and I could see the pain, the self-inflicted torment that she's been putting herself through. I had my answer. "Because I can't stand the thought of losing you. I love you, Anko." And with that I pulled her to me, pressing my lips against her own.

[Cue Music: I Forgive You, by Halestorm]

Fucking really? Bloody melodramatic emo asshat, indeed. Kids have no taste in music these days.

Ah-HEM! The voice of logic immediately shut his goddamn trap as the beautiful woman returned my kiss in earnest, wrapping her arms around me as I wholeheartedly ignored the annoying voices in my head.

Really? You just keep telling yourself that, mate. Lemme know how that works out for you.

Can't you just let us have our moment? Stop killing the mood, asshole. You'll lower our ratings even further by desecrating one of our very rare romantic scenes.(Seriously, we don't have many of them)

"Mmn..." And as our tongues intertwined, indulging in the familiar feel of one another's body against our own, the kiss changed from one of love to that of unbridled passion. Raw emotion expressed through need, through that incessant, unspoken urge as libidos peaked, before we-

Oh, bleugh! Somebody put them out of my misery.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

~~Badadumdunbum~~

BEWARE! Sexual content below this line. Look at me, look at me! I'm using bold letters, you can miss me at all!

Sasuke shoved me back onto the couch, his lips crashing into mine with all the urgency of a drowning man clinging to a raft. His tongue was in my mouth, but the strong, bittersweet flavor of alcohol completely eclipsed his familiar taste. He'd been drinking even more heavily than I was.

But that was secondary to the kiss itself; it was different than each and every one we'd shared. I expected tender, slow and sensual like before, but this was rough, passionate and-

And desperate. That lone detail told me more about how much he's been hurting than anything else.

His hands were moving, running through my hair, under my clothes, groping and caressing every inch of my body within reach. The rough callouses being dragged across my skin sent shudders up my spine, those familiar hands knowing exactly how to excite me.

We finally broke apart, both of us gasping for breath. "I want you so bad..." His breath was hot on my skin, sending yet another tremor down my back as he turned us around, pulling me into his lap and sliding off my coat in the same movement. I felt his hand sliding across my buttocks, the other working its way up, lovingly tracing the lines of age-old battle scars, finally settling on the back of my neck, bringing me closer for another kiss.

I wasn't even thinking about it, but my own hands were under his shirt, relishing the feel of the hardened muscles trembling under my touch, and reaching into his drawers with the other, taking hold of the nine inches of twitching, steel-hard cock within. My Kami, was he gifted; thick, long, hard, veiny and absolutely insatiable. The appendage throbbed in time with his heartbeat, and as I gently squeezed, slowly beginning to stroke it, Sasuke moaned into my mouth, a shudder passing through his body.

He's enjoying this as much as I am, maybe even more. I felt his fingers in my hair again, gently, deftly untying the ribbon and letting my hair fall free. This... This is familiar, the way he runs his hands through my purple locks, the way he teases me with his tongue.

My hips moved of their own accord, grinding my pussy against his thigh, just loving those little jolts that sent sparks flying through my mind. Sasuke finally released my mouth, pulling me against him, running his hands down my back.

I felt my skirt being pulled up and over my rear, the thin, silk-like material of my panties being brushed aside before his fingers found their way to my-

"Ah-Hahhn," My voice caught in my throat, halfway between a yelp and moan as those little sparks get brighter and brighter, my mind spinning, eyes rolling as I began to feel more than a little lightheaded. Two of his course, calloused fingers were inside me, another rubbing against my yes-button in the most magnificent way you could imagine.

"Ngh..." Just the slightest hint of both pain and pleasure in his voice, and I then noticed my teeth were buried in his shoulder, my nails dug into his back, the rough, scarred skin already moist with beads of sweat and blood. The same kind of scars I'd already given him dozens of times, matched with yet another set.

I lost track of time; we both did, drowning in the sensations, doing our damndest to make up for all the lost time with every kiss, caress and bite. In the entire time, not a single word was spoken; we had no need for them. We both knew how the other felt, regardless of whether or not it was voiced.

I'm sorry.

We both are.

Can you forgive me?

I already have.

And the other woman...?

There is no one I want more than you.

~~Badadumbundum~~

END sexual content. You can put your pants back on, now. And clean off your damn keyboard.

And as I held her in my arms, basking in the blissful afterglow, in the familiar warmth of holding her close to me, I was content. I wanted nothing more than to lie there with Anko for all time, to never be apart from her. There was only one, singular thing that wriggled around in the back my mind, an inexplicable sense of forboding. My instincts were screaming at me that I was forgetting something, something important.

Why she wanted her harm herself in the first place. It doesn't fit her, she isn't the type.

Though it pained me to ask, I needed to know. "I have to know. Why, why did you do it? Why would you do this to yourself?"

It must have hurt far, far more for her to answer that question. "I don't know..."

She doesn't know? But that's-

Wait.

FLASHBACK NO JUTSU!

Kakashi cut me off. "I don't know."

What?!

That's not good enough! "What the fuck? How could you NOT know why you fucked her?! What, are you trying to say she tripped and fell on your dick?! I want to hear WHY!"

"I honestly don't know. Every single day since, I've asked myself why. I am fully aware that this would be the final outcome, no matter how things played out, and I don't entertain suicidal thoughts. I do not know."

END FLASHBACK

Neither of them knew their reasons, neither of them had any excuse. But what does that mean? Am I just overthinking this, or is there something else going on? Am I being too paranoid, or is something sinister going on beneath my notice?

"Sasuke?" Anko asked, every thought going through her mind betrayed in her voice, each and every ounce of guilt and desperation reflected in that single word.

The voice of logic finally had something worthwhile to say. Let it go. Just it go for now, Sasuke.

Yeah. For once, you're right.

"Forget it, love." And with that, I rolled us over, pulling her in for another kiss, which she immediately returned as the desire came back in full force, that burning-hot yearning radiating from my heart(And groin) that demanded satisfaction.

Love and hatred are not opposites... They are two sides of the same emotion, water and ice. Though vastly different, they are still the same. I now know what you meant, brother.

Thank you.

~~Badadumbundum~~

With Itachi

Itachi Uchiha stood in front of his bedroom window, a small smile on his face. "Very good, Sasuke. You have even overcome our family curse."

"Itachi..." The Uchiha glanced back over his shoulder, taking in the sight of the trio of beautiful young women languidly tangled up in his sheets. "Come back to bed."

He sighed melodramatically, smiling to himself. "A hero's work is never done."

Sasuke may have taken after his elder brother, but he still can't hold a candle to him.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

BADOW! Yes, here it is, the end of all the emo-drama-shit. How's that for a slice of fried gold?

References include, but are not limited to: Archer, Code MENT, The Punisher Warzone, God of War,