DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NICKELODEON'S AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER OR ITS CHARACTERS. I just hope that we can find out what happened to Sokka before "The Legend of Korra" ends!
Lan looked at the parchment in front of her and frowned. How could she do this? How could she write a good-bye letter to Ming and Fai? How could she explain her actions to them – how could she explain treachery?
But she would explain. She must. She had to make them understand why she had done what she had done – why she had betrayed her country. Why she had betrayed them.
They deserved an explanation.
She could almost see Fai's face when he read the letter – sad and disappointed.
She could picture Ming as well – kind, fierce Ming who had taken her in – she, a lonely, discarded child – and had given Lan everything.
Lan could almost see the sorrow on her aunt's face as clearly as she could see the parchment before her. Sorrow that Lan Chi had chosen such a path. Sorrow that Lan had willingly given herself up.
Oh, how could she explain to Ming the circumstances and the reasons that had led her to sacrifice herself for Zuko and Iroh? Ming would never understand – or forgive – Lan for throwing her life away.
She sighed, and wearily rubbed her head. How could she even begin to write such a letter, knowing that it would be the last thing that she ever wrote to her aunt?
A sudden banging at her door spared her further thoughts.
"Lan! Open up!" Zuko's voice, although muffled, came through the panels, and Lan Chi startled, pushing the table away from her.
"Open the door, Lan Chi!" She could hear his fist pounding on the door, and she wondered, for a very brief moment, if she could ignore him. "Open it, or I swear that I'll break it down! I mean it!"
She stood and stared at the door. She did not want to see him – not now. She could not bear his anger and contempt. She simply – could not.
The panels of the door began to shudder, and she remembered, suddenly, Zuko kicking in her door when he had thought that a spirit had come in through her window. Although he had broken the door down in an effort to protect her then, it was anger fueling him now, not concern.
Still, she did not want the inevitable scandalous scene that would accompany explaining the door's destruction to the crew, so she opened it, albeit reluctantly.
As the sight of his face, mottled red with rage and twisted in displeasure, she lifted a hand. "If you are here to chastise me again, Prince Zuko, do not. I am well aware of your opinion of me."
He pushed past her and slammed the door behind him. "You stupid, stupid, stupid girl!" He folded his arms across his chest.
A glare settled on her face. "Yes, Zuko, believe me, I know how you feel, so please be kind enough to leave – now. I have other things to do, and little time to do them." She turned from him deliberately, but he grabbed her upper arm and spun her back around.
"Uncle told me your – your –" he struggled for the correct word, "asinine idea."
Her eyes opened wider. "H – he did?" Her face reddened. "He had no right!"
"No right?! Have your wits gone begging?! You're planning to turn yourself into the Fire Nation and give me credit for capturing you, and you say that Uncle has no right to tell me?! Are you insane?!" His voice was tight with emotion.
She blinked. "I – I..." She pulled her arm from him. "I can do what I want." She said lamely.
"They'll put you to death!" He shrieked. "Do you understand that?!"
"Of course I understand that! I'm not stupid!"
"Tell me how surrendering yourself is not stupid!"
She glared at him. "I was just trying to help!"
The look he gave her was one of incredulity. "First you tried to buy my freedom by stealing Fire Nation secrets, and now you want to buy my way back into the line of succession by giving yourself up as the thief? How can you think that that would work?"
Even to her ears it sounded – ludicrously stupid. "It – could work." Her words were feeble.
"And what would make you think that I would want anything that came by you sacrificing yourself?" At her silence, he continued. "I don't want your help!"
She stamped her foot. "Of course! The mighty Prince Zuko doesn't need anyone! Least of all a traitor like me!"
His own face was suffused with anger. "Stop it! Stop it! It has nothing to do with that! I need you! Of course I need you! But not because you're going to – reconcile me with my father! Because I love you!"
She looked at him for a long moment – his shoulders high and squared, his face flush with indignation and pique, his stance forbidding. "I – I..." Words failed her, and she shook her head.
His face softened slightly, and his shoulders dropped. "How could you think that I would ever agree to you sacrificing yourself? I could never bear the thought of anything happening to you. I just – couldn't." His voice was soft. "Even though you've done some incredibly stupid things."
"Trying to save you isn't stupid." She felt an odd sense of indignation.
"Lan, I'm a Prince of the Fire Nation, and, if we lose, I'll – I'll face it as a Prince – and I won't let you – or anyone – buy my freedom. And the – thought that I would want to be returned to the line of succession by your death is – idiotic!"
"B – but I want you to be happy." Her voice was weak.
"Happy?! I won't be happy if you're dead!" His hands, clenched into fists, flamed, but he shook the fire off, and lifted them to his head in frustration. "I can't believe you! Lan, I am going to find the Avatar!" She was silent, and he continued. "And when I find him, Father will restore my honor, and, with the Avatar in the Fire Nation's possession, we'll win the war. I know it! I don't need your help or – or want it! At least not in that way! Definitely not by you throwing your life away or – or – by making me a turncoat!"
"You aren't a turncoat." She shook her head again.
"And neither are you." Calmer now, he stepped close to her. "I turned the ship back around. We are not making for the closest Fire Nation port. You aren't turning yourself in. And you aren't a traitor. No one's been hurt by the secrets you stole, and I've already destroyed all the parchments. We can – forget all about it."
Her eyes, which had been cast down in shame, now shot to his face. "Y – you destroyed them? Why?"
A small smile lifted one side of his mouth. "Because I love you, Dummy. Because I've loved you since I was five. Because one or two – foolish – decisions on your part isn't going to change that. Because, when Uncle told me – what you were planning, I didn't even – care that you had stolen those secrets – I mean, I did care," he hastened to clarify, "but the thought that you might give yourself up – that something might happen to you..." He trailed off and his lips thinned. "Well, I didn't care as much about what you had done. I just – cared that you were – that you were safe."
"I –" She could not believe that he was telling the truth. "Do you really mean that?"
He nodded. "Yes. Of course. Thank you for – wanting to help me – even though both your ideas were the absolute worst I've ever heard. But I don't need it - the help, I mean. I'll find the Avatar, Father will restore my honor, we'll win the war, and then – Father will let me marry you. I know he will. You just have to have – faith."
She didn't really, even though she could not tell him. She knew that, even if Zuko did find the Avatar, Ozai would rather his son marry a hogmonkey than marry her. "I do." She said anyway.
He seemed to sag in relief. "No more secrets." He rubbed her upper arms affectionately. "No more foolish ideas. Right?"
She shook her head. "No. No more."
"Well, well, I am glad to see you here, Lady Lan Chi." Iroh, responding to a knock at his cabin door, smiled and stepped back, allowing his niece entrance. "I was worried that you might actually go through with that plan of yours."
She waited until he had closed the door to speak. "You told Zuko." Her voice held a faint accusatory tone.
Iroh nodded. "Yes, I did."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "You promised not to."
Iroh's brows rose. "I don't recall that."
Her eyes narrowed. "What are you playing at, Uncle?"
He seemed genuinely surprised. "I can assure you that I am not playing, Lan Chi." His eyes became shrewd. "Did you really think that I would allow my own niece to sacrifice herself?"
She frowned. "You told Zuko so that he would stop me."
"Someone had to, since you would not listen to me."
She scoffed. "I should have known that you had acquiesced too easily."
"Yes, you should have." He acknowledged, and indicated that she should sit at his tea table. "So, Zuko was able to talk you out of giving yourself up?"
She blushed as he poured her a cup. "He obstinately refuses to take me to any Fire Nation port."
"Indeed?" He gave a small smile.
She gave a loud sniff. "All thanks to you."
"And so you've given up your mad idea – or are you going to sneak off when no one is looking?"
She shook her head as she sipped tea. "No. Zuko – and you – were right – as much as I hate to admit it. It was a terrible idea. Even if Zuko brought in a thousand spies – or Avatars – I doubt that Ozai would reinstate him in the line of succession."
Iroh swirled his tea in his cup as he pondered this. "I'm afraid that you might be right." He was silent for a long moment, then sighed. "Still, Zuko will not believe it – at least not right now. He has much to learn about the world – and about his father – before he will be ready to listen to that." He gave a quick smile. "So, tell me that you and Zuko have reconciled. Please."
Her face turned red. "Yes. He's – forgiven me, believe it or not. For everything."
Iroh gave a wider smile. "I knew that he would – once he was faced with the thought that something might happen to you."
"How did you knowthat he'd react that way?"
"I hoped that he would. I could not be certain."
"But you were fairly certain."
"Yes. Fairly certain." He smiled.
"Don't be smug."
"You're rather flippant for someone who was courting death."
She shrugged. "What does it matter, anyway, if I had gone ahead with it? I have to leave soon. I can't stay here."
"And, so, death is preferable?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Are you still going to the convent?"
She glanced at him. "Yes. I'll go there and wait for him. But, to be honest, Uncle, we both know that he isn't going to find the Avatar."
Iroh looked pained. "I fear not."
"Which means he'll probably never be restored – to the line of succession – or to his father." She looked at him mournfully. "And he'll probably never come for me."
They were both silent for a long time – Iroh because he feared that she was right, and Lan because she was thinking ahead to many long, lonely years.
"There is no easy solution that I can give you, Lan. Yes, you may spend many years in exile...perhaps even the rest of your life. If I could change that, I would. You know that I would. But Ozai has forced our hand with this marriage. If you marry Da Baichi, you lose Zuko. And if you spurn the marriage, you will have to flee anyway. Ozai will not allow you to remain in the Fire Nation after that."
"I know."
"And he will never allow you to marry Zuko."
"I know."
"And Zuko will not forsake his mission – or his father."
She nodded sadly.
"So, sending you to the convent seems the least of all the evils. Living there will allow you to have a measure of freedom, and perhaps you might be able to lead a somewhat normal life."
Her brows rose. "A normal life? Uncle, you do remember who we are?"
He chuckled. "Even our family has the possibility of normalcy."
"I doubt that, Uncle. I really do."
Lan Chi watched as Iroh left the dining room, then turned to Zuko. "Do you think it wise?"
His brow rose. "Do you?"
"I asked you first."
Zuko shrugged, idly pushing noodles around his bowl with his chopsticks. "I don't think that we have much of a choice. We shouldn't get supplies too close to Tao Xing." He looked at her. "Can you imagine if someone questioned why I was buying supplies for a long journey?"
She shrugged, as well. "They would think that you were going on a journey to hunt for the Avatar."
He shook his head. "We really shouldn't risk it. Besides, we're not very far from a port. It would not take us out of our way very much."
She sighed. "I suppose not – although I admit that I wouldn't mind never getting to Tao Xing."
He laid his chopsticks down and pushed the bowl away. "You aren't going to –" He looked at her again, and his face was somber. "– To do anything – stupid, are you?" He looked away almost awkwardly, then, with resolve, turned back to her. "Turn yourself in?"
She gave a quick smile, designed to reassure him. "No. I won't. I promise."
"Good." He nodded. There was a brief silence, and then he gave an aggrieved groan. "I can't believe that we're doing this – that we're – running away – like – like – common criminals!"
She gave him another smile. "It will be fine. Don't worry."
Zuko spared her only the barest of looks. "Fine? How will it be fine? We're absconding from your lawfully-arranged marriage!"
She reached for his hand without offense. He was anxious about their impending journey, and meant no rancor. "Everything will be well, Zuko. I know it will."
He shook his head and sighed. "I should be reassuring you, not the other way around."
"It's all right. I don't mind." She squeezed his hand.
"Do you think we're doing the right thing?"
She shrugged. "It's better than the alternative."
"There is no alternative." Zuko snapped.
"Then why do you ask?" She was now starting to feel out of sorts. If Zuko was uncertain about this plan, how could she be certain?
"I ask because I want to be sure it's what you want." He pulled his fingers from her.
"What I want?" She was incredulous. "What I want is to marry you and live as far away from the Fire Nation as we can, but you don't want that!" She flushed an angry red.
He, for his part, paled. "You don't mean that. I'm to be Fire Lord one day, Lan. Don't you want that? Don't you want to be queen?"
She stood up angrily. "No! I don't want that! I never have! How could you know me and not know that?"
He scrambled to his feet as well. "Well, how can you know me and not know that I want to go home?"
She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it and, shaking her head, turned away, hugging her arms.
He watched her for a long moment, his face mournful. "Being Fire Lord one day – it's all that I have, Lan." His voice was weary.
She whirled, then, and looked at him, her eyes wide. "You have me." She said quietly.
He was silent for a long time. "But it's all that I am." He whispered, his voice anguished.
She drew in a quick, shocked breath, too stunned to speak.
Finally, she gave a brief, decisive nod. This plan was what she had with him – no more, no less. He would never give up his dream of being Fire Lord – not for her, anyway. "It'll be fine. Really. I – I need someplace to wait for you, anyway. And – and a convent isn't so bad. There are much worse places. And I'll be safe there."
Zuko watched as the gangplank was lowered into place, his hands clasped behind his back.
Lan stepped up next to him, and he looked at her briefly.
She smiled back. "Ready?"
He scowled. "Ready for what?"
"To go shopping."
He blinked at her. "You're not going."
"Why not?"
"It – would be unseemly."
Her brows arched. "Unseemly? Zuko, we'll be shopping, not – " she searched for words. "– Doing anything else." She ended pitifully.
"What do you know about equipping for a long journey?" He snapped.
"More than you'd think."
He glared at her for a moment, then sighed wearily. "Fine. You can come along."
She gave a small laugh. "Oh, that's funny. I wasn't awaiting permission, Zuko. I'm coming along, whether you want me to or not."
"Are we ready to go?" A voice caused them both to turn.
Iroh stood there, beaming at them sunnily.
Zuko threw up his hands and stomped down the gangplank just as it was secured to the dock.
"Was it something I said?" Iroh asked innocently as he watched Zuko storm off in the direction of the market, directly outside the port.
Lan Chi sighed and shook her head. "Zuko is – in a foul mood. Again."
Iroh clucked sympathetically. "Pardon him, my dear." He took her arm, and they followed Zuko. "He is unhappy that you two must part, and doesn't know how to express his feelings properly."
"I know, I know. I just wish that he would not take out his ill humor on me! We only have a few more weeks together, and I don't want to spend the entire time sniping at each other."
Iroh nodded. "I understand. Well, why don't we, the two of us, try to cheer him up?"
"How will we do that – short of finding the Avatar for him?"
"Hmm. Good question. I wish that I had the answer."
Lan gave him a dry look. "Thank you, Uncle. You are most enlightening."
He chuckled. "Well, if we can't make Zuko happy, let's concentrate on making ourselves happy. A day of shopping should do that splendidly."
They walked into the market, looking at all the goods displayed.
"Ooh!" Iroh stopped at a stall displaying decorative wares. "Look at this handsome statue!" He walked over to a table where several monkey statues stood. "What craftsmanship!" He picked up one that grinned grotesquely up at him. "How striking this is!" He turned to Lan. "Don't you agree?"
Her eyes widened. "Oh – yes. I love a nice – monkey statue." She nodded. "Especially with ruby eyes."
"As do I." Iroh agreed. "Wouldn't Zuko love this? I should buy it for his cabin!"
Lan tried to repress the smile that was breaking out. Zuko would loathe a monkey statue, no matter what color its eyes. "I think he prefers emeralds to rubies, Uncle." She tried to redirect him.
Iroh's brows rose. "Indeed? I didn't know that." He set the monkey down, and looked over the other statues. "I don't see one with emeralds, do you?"
Lan shook her head in mock disappointment. "No. I don't. Ah, well. Perhaps you shouldn't get one, then."
Iroh's shoulders slumped for a moment, then lifted. "Ooh! Look, Lan! A jade monkey! How lovely! Do you think Zuko will like jade instead of emeralds?"
After the statue was purchased and wrapped in paper, Lan and Iroh continued through the market, finally running Zuko to ground at a smith's stall, looking at a variety of cooking pots.
"Ah. There he is." Iroh nudged her. "You stay with him, Lan. I'm going to go over there." Iroh pointed across the way. "I think I see a tea stand." He started off, but turned back to her. "Don't tell him about the monkey. I want it to be a surprise."
She gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile. "Oh, it will be a surprise, all right."
She watched as he walked off before making her way over to Zuko. "Hello, Prince Zuko."
If she had startled him, he did not show it, merely looking at her over his shoulder. "Where's Uncle?"
"Shopping for tea."
"Of course he is." He dismissed the topic of Iroh, and indicated the pots before him. "We – um – I should probably buy something to use to cook on the – ahem – road." He did not want anyone who might be listening to overhear talk of their voyage together.
"So you're thinking of a skillet?"
"In case I catch a – fish or something."
"A rice pot would make more sense."
He was quiet as he looked at her.
"Uh – can you carry both?" She carried on the charade.
"I shouldn't."
"Will you have two horses? You know – one for supplies?"
He frowned. "Yes. Yes, I suppose that I shall."
She smiled. "Then you can carry both. Or, rather, the ostrich horse can."
He nodded, never taking his eyes from her.
She smiled, and Zuko returned her smile tentatively.
She watched as he paid, and his purchase was wrapped up. "Shall I carry it?" She held out her hands.
"That would not be very gentlemanly." He took them from the vendor, and picked up a large bundle of fabric at his feet.
"What is that?"
"Bedrolls." He began to walk off, and she fell into step beside him.
"Bedrolls? Plural? As in – more than one?"
He gave her a sidelong look. "Two. Why?"
She shrugged. "No reason. I just thought that we would – well – share a bedroll."
A small smile touched his lips. "So, you want me to keep you warm at night?"
Her face started to redden. "Considering that we may well be apart for a very long time, Prince Zuko, I should think that you would want to share a bedroll with me!" She was insulted and hurt at the same time.
He laughed at her, and she stopped walking, prompting him to do the same.
"What in spirit's name is so funny?!" She demanded, folding her arms across her chest.
"You're angry that I may not want to share a bedroll with you."
"No, I'm not!" She declared hotly. "I – I couldn't care less!"
Now he was genuinely amused. He lifted the bundle for her inspection. "I thought you might need to keep one, Lan. At the convent. That's why I bought two."
"O – oh." She stumbled over the word. "I see. So we – are going to – share one?"
"That was my plan."
"Oh. Ah." She nodded. "All right, then." She nodded repeatedly, her cheeks crimson. "So, what else should be bought?" She started walking again, turning her attention to the stalls that they passed. Jewelry, household goods, food, and textiles, among other things, were on offer, and, as they approached the end of one aisle, a man stepped out in front of them. He was large – much larger than Zuko, and wore an apron stained with many colors.
"Portraits! Portraits drawn quickly!" He barked. "Any size! Any subject! How about you, my lady?" He smiled at them as they passed. "Would you like your portrait drawn? I guarantee satisfaction."
Lan Chi turned to Zuko with a smile, grabbing his arm. "Oh, yes, Zuko! Let's get our portraits drawn!"
Zuko scowled at her. "Don't be ridiculous! We – we don't have time for such foolishness!"
"I would dearly love to sketch someone of such beauty." The man continued, peering at Lan Chi. "And your hair! I have never seen such a hue! Magnificent!"
She dimpled. "Thank you, Sir." She looked at her companion again. "Zuko, please, let's!" She turned back to the man. "Can you sketch us both?"
All Zuko's insecurities about his scar came flooding into his head. "What? Lan – no. I don't want a portrait..."
She interrupted him. "Zuko, I have miniature portraits of my parents, Uncle Iroh and Aunt Hsu Sing, and Lu Ten. I should like one of you, as well."
"But..."
"And you should have one of me. Don't you want one?"
"Of course!" He was still uncomfortable with the thought of someone drawing him. "But – but, it will take a long time, and we haven't all day. We – have – supplies that need – buying." He ended lamely.
The man jumped in. "Not long, Sir. I guarantee. Not for miniature portraits. Wonderful as keepsakes, too."
Zuko frowned. "How much?"
The man looked them over, noting the opulence of Lan's robes, the quality of Zuko's uniform, and sighed. "Well, I suppose that I could sketch you for a gold piece – each." He added hastily.
"Two gold pieces?!" Zuko screeched. "That's ridiculous!"
"Come on, Zuko." She wheedled, attempting to draw him into the booth. "Please. How often are we going to get miniature portraits made?"
"At this price, never again!"
She smiled, and, although he shook his head, he allowed himself to be dragged into the man's stall.
The paraphernalia of an artist's trade was strewn about – palettes, jars of pigment, small mixing bowls, ink sticks, as well as brushes, littered almost every available horizontal spot.
The man quickly pulled out a small stool, which he set at the edge of the tent, next to a window cut into the fabric. "Would my lady like to be sketched first?"
Lan glanced at Zuko, who nodded emphatically. "Yes, please."
The artist smiled, and Lan sat on the proffered stool.
The man pulled out a sheet of parchment and a board, and settled on another stool. He looked at Lan critically for a long while. "I wish that I could do a proper portrait, my lady, and color it – your hair is astonishing."
She rolled her eyes. "That's one word for it."
He chuckled as he ground ink on a stone into a small bowl. "I take it that you are unhappy with the color?"
"It has given me a fair amount of unwanted attention in my life." She admitted.
"Things of beauty usually do attract attention, my lady, both wanted and unwanted, I'm afraid."
Zuko, who had been attentive to the conversation, threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Get on with the drawing already! Enough with the chit chat!"
Lan gave a sheepish smile. "Forgive my companion. He's – impatient to return to our ship."
"Don't apologize for me, Lan!" Zuko retorted. "I just want this done, and quickly!" He pointed at the artist. "Don't think that we are paying you by the hour!"
More than an hour later, after Zuko grudgingly paid the artist, he and Lan Chi left, miniature portraits in hand.
Zuko had been difficult when it was his turn to take the subject's spot, fidgeting and scowling much of the time, until the artist had told him that any movement or change in facial expression would increase the amount of time that it would take to sketch him.
In the end, Lan Chi's portrait was a sketch of a smiling young woman, and Zuko's was a sketch of a slightly disagreeable young man.
"He did a good job on yours." Zuko said bitterly. "You look beautiful. I look like a petulant child." He waved the portrait of himself in the air.
"Be careful with that!" Lan took it from him and held it against her body as if to protect it. "It's the only portrait I have of you."
"Great. Every time you look at me, all you'll see is me scowling at you."
"Yes, it is very true to life, isn't it?" She teased.
He glowered at her, and she laughed.
"Why are you laughing?" He demanded.
"Because he captured the way you look right now." She nudged him with her shoulder. "It will be like we're not apart at all. I can just look at this, and I'll know that, somewhere in the world, you're wearing this expression."
"Ha. Ha. Very funny." He grumbled, and she laughed again.
"What is so funny, my little turtleduck?"
They turned to see Iroh behind them, laden with packages.
With joyful pride, Lan showed the portraits to her uncle. "Zuko and I got miniatures sketched."
"Ah, what a good idea!" Iroh nodded approvingly. He peered at Lan's portrait, and nodded with approval.
He looked at the portrait of Zuko with a somber face, and then at Zuko himself. "It is a – er – very accurate likeness, Prince Zuko."
Zuko glared at him. "Thank you, Uncle." He said between gritted teeth.
Lan suppressed a giggle, and indicated the packages that Iroh held. "Find some tea you like?"
"What?" Iroh was confused by the abrupt change of topic, but quickly recovered. "Oh, oh, yes. Some fine green tea – with hints of almond, if you can believe that!" He smiled widely. "I can't wait to make a pot."
"That sounds wonderful, Uncle. Perhaps tonight." Lan slid her free hand through his arm.
"Tonight?" Iroh looked at her, almost befuddled. "Oh, no, we can't have it tonight."
"Why not?"
"Because we're going to a party!"
Author's Notes: I know that I have been absent for a while with updating this fic, but never fear! I will never abandon it!
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Thanks for reading!
