'You can't fancy someone who's verging on physcopathic, Erskine.' Skulduggery said coolly, smoothing out the newspaper he was reading.
Erskine sighed and sat next to Ghastly. 'But she is wonderful!'
Ghastly raised an eyebrow at him. 'We are still talking about China, right?'
'What's wrong with her?'
Skulduggery smirked. 'What's right with her?'
'Well, she's hot. You have to admit that she's hot.'
Ghastly rolled his eyes at him. 'You're four hundred and one, Ravel, now's about the right time to stop using the word "hot".'
'But it's true, isn't it? Skulduggers, didn't you have a thing for her?'
Skulduggery folded the paper away. 'Skulduggers? And I thought Skully was bad enough. To answer your question, yes I did have a thing for her. That was before I found out about...' He coughed. '...Well.'
'It's not that she's out of your league, Ravel.' Ghastly said, 'She's just a psychotic lunatic.'
Erskine wrinkled his nose. 'That's a nice way of putting it.'
'I thought so.' Skulduggery muttered. 'If it was my opinion, I would have said that she's a sly, evil, devilish bi-'
'Anyway, it's easy for you to say,' Ravel directed at Ghastly. 'You've got Tanith now, you've got someone. I haven't. It's depressing.'
'Thanks.' Ghastly murmured, starting up his sewing machine. He was making a brown leather heart-shaped bodice for Tanith. He smiled to himself as he worked.
'Everyone I know has someone.' Ravel moaned.
'I don't.' Skulduggery said, looking down at his gloves.
'Yeah, but you don't count.'
Ghastly smirked as Skulduggery tilted his head at him. 'That's harsh.' The skeleton replied.
'Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you don't get...urges.'
Skulduggery shuffled in his seat. 'Just because I'm skeleton, it doesn't mean that I'm not human.'
'Of course, sorry.'
'Mm.'
Ghastly looked up from his work. 'Well?'
Skulduggery tilted his skull at him. 'Well what?'
'Who do you like?'
Skulduggery paused. 'No one.'
'That's a lie.'
'It's not.'
'It absolutely is. Tell us.'
'There's honestly no one.'
Erskine raised an eyebrow at him. 'Then why get all defensive, then?'
'...I'm sorry?'
'You're getting all defensive.'
'No I'm not!'
'You are.'
'Why would I need to be?'
Ghastly leaned forward in his seat. 'So there is someone?'
'Yes.' Skulduggery said, and then shook his skull. 'No.'
'Ah-ha!' Who is it?'
'It doesn't matter.'
'Tell us.'
'No!'
'He or she?'
'She, but-'
'Do we know her?'
'Well-'
'Is it China?'
'Good God, no.'
Ghastlys eyes narrowed. 'Is it Tanith?'
'I wouldn't dare.'
'Then who is it?'
The doorbell rang. Ghastly sighed at the detective and stood up, strolling off towards the corridor. He opened the door to see Valkyrie standing on the doorstep. She grinned at him.
'Hi, I think I left my phone somewhere in here, can I...?'
Ghastly shrugged and stepped aside. 'Of course. I saw it in the front room.'
Valkyrie wandered towards the room directed, Ghastly following her after he shut the door.
Erskine smiled at her. 'Hi, Val.'
'Hi.'
Skulduggery looked at her and automatically stood up. 'Valkyrie.'
'Hello.'
They looked at each other for a long while, before Valkyrie cleared her throat. 'I, um, left my phone.'
'It's over there.' Skulduggery said, pointing at the mantel.' Valkyrie nodded and picked it up.
'Thank you.'
'You're welcome.'
She smiled. 'I'll see you later, yeah?'
'Mm. Shall I, um, pick you up at your house?'
'I'd like that.' Valkyrie said, turning to leave. Bye, boys.'
'Bye...' Skulduggery said quietly, as she left.
He looked at Ghastly and Erskine. They were grinning at him. 'What?'
'It's her, isn't it?' Ghastly said. 'It's Valkyrie.'
'Don't be ridiculous.'
Erskine rolled his eyes at him. 'Then why did you stand up when she entered the room then?'
Skulduggery sat down.
'And why did you get all flustered when she started talking to you?' Ghastly said.
'I didn't.' Skulduggery protested.
'You did. I've never heard you trip over your words so much.'
'I think I'm doing quite well since I don't have a tongue.'
'You have a crush on Valkyrie, don't you?' Erskine said.
'What?'
'You. Fancy. Valkyrie.'
'Understatement of the century!' Skulduggery blurted.
Erskine and Ghastly looked at each other and then back at Skulduggery. 'Pardon?' Ghastly said.
Erskine hesitated. 'Who is your best friend?'
'Valkyrie.'
'Who do you trust the most?'
'Valkyrie.'
'Who is your soul mate?'
'Valkyrie.'
'And who is the one person who you couldn't live and function without?'
'...Valkyrie.'
Erskine sighed. 'You don't fancy her, do you?'
'No.'
'...You love her.'
Skulduggery went silent, before saying a quiet, 'yes.'
Ghastly rubbed his eyes. 'Oh, Skulduggery.'
'I know, I know.'
'How old is she now?'
'Twenty-two.'
'Remind me-how old are you?'
'Does it matter? We're never going to be together, it's never going to happen, so let's just leave it at that.' Skulduggery replied bitterly. He stood up, adjusted his hat and left the room...to see Valkyrie Cain standing in the corridor.
