Chapter 55.

Joey had left the house and decided to take the tube to the cemetery. He could've driven his car there like he usually did but the roads were busy with people running around on last minute Christmas errands so he was likely to spend time in traffic jams. He stopped at Tracey's stall and she silently passed him the usual small bunch of sunflowers, a soft but slightly sad smile on her face. It was another annual ritual he undertook and he handed her the money for them, his eyes locking on the photo in his wallet and wishing he had spoken to Lauren before he'd left.

*JL*JL*

Lauren lay on her bed and hugged a slightly tatty looking Missybear against her chest (the rose she was originally been holding had long since disappeared. Back when Lauren was five, it had been torn from Missy's hand by Wellard which had ripped her fur and she'd had to have emergency surgery to fix her (done by mummy) so Missy didn't lose anymore stuffing). Lauren had heard Joey leave the house, pausing outside her room for a few seconds before he went down the stairs. It hurt that he didn't trust her enough to tell her the truth. Several times over the years she had seen him holding an envelope in his hands and she had seen the box when he put the envelope from today in it... it was very full so she knew Joey had been receiving them for a while. When she'd seen him with them before it hadn't bothered her that much that he hid them... but now it did. She saw it as a sign that he didn't trust her. This only signalled bad things for the future of their relationship as far as she was concerned, which made her very sad.

*JL*JL*

Joey entered the cemetery, his head down as he walked the familiar route to his mum's grave. He'd been coming to see her twice a year ever since that first time of visiting her. When he was young it was usually him and his dad. His mum (and Lauren) had come a few times when he came on his mum's birthday as the weather was nicer but usually Joey liked it more when it was just him or him and his dad. Since he'd been fifteen he'd been coming on his own, preferring his own company and needing the space. He liked the solitude of it and he felt more comfortable opening up to his mum when he was on his own.

He walked up to the grave and spent a few minutes clearing away the dead flowers and weeds from it. He pulled out a pack of wipes from his pocket and cleaned the smooth surface of the headstone, wiping away some badly placed bird shit that decorated the top. He spent a couple of minutes in silent contemplation once that was done, his thoughts once more drawing back to the few memories of his mum that he had. He still missed her; every day he thought of her at least once. In recent months he had thought more about her; wondering how she would react to his relationship with Lauren. He took a deep breath and crouched beside the headstone, placing the flowers at its base.

"Hi mum... I can't believe it's been nine months since I've been here. I'm sorry I don't come more often but it's difficult for me to be here. I think about you every day though." He stopped talking and took a deep breath, "I've got so much to tell you this time, mum. My life has changed a lot over the last eight months." He stopped and stared at the gravestone, his eyes re-reading for the umpteenth time the words written on it. "I've fallen in love, mum... actually I've loved her for ages but I've told her now and she loves me back, mum. Everything about her makes me fall deeper for her." He chuckled, "Of course, there are some complications... it wouldn't be my life if it was easy, would it?" he said. "She's my cousin, mum..." he paused, his breath faltering at saying those words out loud. "I hope you don't hate me, mum because that would kill me." He held his breath, a little part of him almost expecting some kind of sign from her. He really wished he knew what she would say to what he'd just told her if she was still alive. "We've been seeing each other for almost eight months now. It started just after I came to see you last time." He knelt down beside the grave, his hands rubbing on his thighs as he nervously tried to compose in his head what he wanted to say. He needed to say it right, he wanted her to approve... it was right up there with his mum and dad approving of it. "It's LoLo, mum..." he whispered. "Every time I look at her, my heart falters. My whole world revolves around her, mum... and I'm not saying that just because I live with her and I've grown up with her. I know she's the one, mum. I know it in my heart. I would do anything for her... I'd die for her..."

*JL*JL*

"You okay, sweetheart?" Max said, standing in the doorway of Lauren's room and seeing her lying on the bed. She was staring at Missybear intently and Max had a flashback of the first time he took Joey to see his mum's grave and watching him do the same thing with Bear. He walked over to her bed and sat on the end of it, his hand settling on her calf. "Talk to me, babe..." he said softly.

"I'm fine, daddy..." she whispered.

Her words alone told him that she was as about as far from fine as she could be. Since the age of twelve, she only ever called him daddy when something was bothering her. "Now tell me the truth..." he said.

She glanced at him and he could see how upset she was, just be looking at her face. "JoJo and I had a fight..." she whispered. "He won't talk to me..."

"Lauren..." he said softly, pulling her up and into his arms, feeling her body shake as she started to cry, "I've told you both before, you need to sort out these arguments straight away... not let them fester away between you. It just leads to pain for all involved..."

*JL*JL*

Joey had finished pouring his heart out to his mum and he was getting ready to leave. He looked up at the sky as he realised it was starting to snow. He tipped back his head and smiled up at the sky, laughing softly as he felt the flakes get heavier, landing on his skin and melting instantly. "Thanks mum..." he whispered.

A/N: The end might be unclear but it will explained better in the next chapter. Let me know what you thought. Back later...