Lily didn't appear for dinner that night, nor for breakfast the next day. James only saw her during the exam, looking quite serious as she wrote her answers. Guilt ate at him.
Theory for Transfiguration was their hardest exam. Remus got a terrible headache during the exam, which he attributed to the upcoming transformation.
This is definitely not due to stress.
Only James was confident he had done well, but that was only because he had a natural talent for the subject. Pratap Patil and Francois Antoine were saying that a few questions were NEWT level, and that they hadn't even been taught those topics yet. Remus and Peter heaved a sigh of relief when they head that. If that was the case, they might be given marks for those questions by default.
But Sirius shook his head. "She's playing with us," he said.
"Who?"
"Minnie, who else?" said Sirius.
"But McGonagall doesn't set the OWL paper," said Remus.
"She would have seen it beforehand, right? and she still let it through," said Sirius. Remus couldn't argue with that.
Their practical was relatively easier. Their first task was basic, transfiguring a couple of tiny rabbits into bedroom slippers and back. Sirius felt extremely guilty as he looked at their cute faces. "But they are so adorable, why are you making us do this?" he asked Professor Marchbanks, holding them up to his face.
"It won't hurt them a bit, Mr. Black," she said, smiling at him.
Sirius waved his wand and the two rabbits became cosy slippers with fluffy cotton rabbit heads. "Perfect!" she said and he changed them back.
Peter and James were called in at the same time. As James got ready to cast the spell, someone screamed. Patrick Parkinson had managed to transfigure his bedroom slippers into a swarm of locusts, and when asked later, he had no idea how he did it, and was convinced that someone was attempting to sabotage him. The locusts flew around the Great Hall at high speed, and everyone ran around, swatting and covering their ears. Peter immobilised one with his wand and was pretty happy with himself. Professor Flitwick waved his wand and the locusts disappeared.
After their Transfiguration final, the Great Hall was unusually loud, fifth and seventh years were finally done with their OWLs and NEWTs. The other Marauders ate their dinner with gusto, but James kept glancing at the entrance. He was waiting for Lily, but she didn't appear then either.
He didn't even spot Lily or her friends in the Common room when they walked in. Hmm, maybe the girls have other plans.
"So, what does everyone feel like doing tonight?" Sirius asked them, flopping onto James' bed.
"I first have to return these books to the library," James told him, picking up some books from his bed. Sirius and Peter groaned, but as he expected, Remus perked up.
"I'll come with you, I have a tonne of books to return as well," he said, walking over to his bedside table and picking up his pile of books.
"I'm not coming to the library. We're done with exams!" Peter whined.
"Then, don't. We'll be back in a jiffy," grinned James, grabbing the Marauders' map.
"I'm not going as well," said Sirius. "But you can take these books back, thanks a million." He grinned at Remus and gave him a couple of books.
"See you," Remus told them.
As soon as they were out of the dorm, James dumped his books into Remus's already full hands. "Prongs, what-"
James opened the Map and scanned it. "Can't find her anywhere…" he mumbled as he climbed down the stairs.
"Oh no. James, you really should be leaving her alone, you know. She must be really mad at you... at all of us," Remus told him.
James looked up at him with an unusually tense face. "I want to apologise to her, Moony. I've been thinking about what McGonagall said, and it feels like the right thing to do."
"Yes, but don't you think you should give her some time to cool down?" Remus asked, dumping the books onto the nearest free writing desk.
"Well, it's been a whole day…" James said, still scanning the Map.
"Okay, if you really want to, you should," Remus said, and pushed the map onto the desk to help look for Lily.
"She's not in her room, not here, not in the Great Hall or the library," James said.
"What about the other dorm rooms?" Remus asked, but she wasn't there either.
"We should look for the others' names as well," said James and Remus hummed in agreement.
After two minutes of searching, Remus found Marlene. "Look!" he said, and pointed to her, but regretted it immediately as they noted she was in a broom closet on the seventh floor with Iker Gomez. "Er," he said, and they smirked at each other awkwardly. "This is why these kind of maps are illegal," he said, shaking his head and resuming the search.
James chuckled. "Wait! Look, there's Alice in the kitchens... oh, she's leaving the kitchens now," said James. They watched the dot labelled Alice Finbok walk past the Great Hall and out the front doors. "They're having a picnic, how nice," he said, as Remus pointed at the names Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans sitting under a few trees by the lake.
Remus chuckled, stacking the twelve books on top of one another and making them hover in front of him. "Good luck, and don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said and walked towards the Portrait Hole.
"That really restricts my whole vibe, Moony," said James, and Remus chortled.
"Well, try not to turn Lily into a wrathful demon from the underworld."
James laughed and fell into step with him. "Will you come with me?"
"I'm still not talking to her, remember?" Remus said, bending so his head won't hit the top of the hole.
"I wish you'd just forget about this stupid fight already. It's been what, three months?" James said.
"Yeah, but she doesn't need me, right?"
"She needs you more than ever, right now, Remus, and you know that," said James.
Remus glanced sideways at James. If only she saw you like this, she'd realise what a good person you are.
"Ugh, you're right, I'll talk to her after the moon," he said and James smiled. "It's tomorrow, if you remember."
"'Course, I remember."
James watched Remus turn a corner before climbing down the stairs and walking out the large front doors. He proceeded in the direction of the lake. When he checked the Map again, just in case, he found the dot labelled Marlene McKinnon quickly approaching the place where he was standing. He whipped around and saw her running over. She hadn't spotted him yet, so he changed directions and ducked into the Forbidden Forest and walked over to them, still hidden behind the trees.
"Sorry, sorry! I'm here," Marlene announced, panting.
"Where were you?" Mary asked, chucking her a muffin. James grinned to himself.
"Er, I was talking to Iker," she told them.
"You're positively glowing, you sure you were just talking?" asked Alice and the girls giggled.
"Fine, we were shagging. Happy?" she said, her mouth full of muffin.
"Ah, I knew it," said Mary and they all laughed again, Marlene included.
"When's the wedding?" asked Lily, and James was surprised. Wedding?!
"Ha ha, very funny, Lily," Marlene said.
"If I remember correctly, didn't you declare that they only way you were getting back together with Iker, was if he asked you to marry him?" said Lily, smirking.
"I never said that!" Marlene said.
Mary sniggered. "She's right, I remember that too."
"How embarrassing. Was I high?"
Alice and Lily exchanged bemused glances. "You weren't even drunk, you were perfectly sober."
Marlene sat down with a sigh and looked up at the others. "When did I say that?"
"After your last break up of course," Lily said, grinning. "Which one was that again? Your seventeenth breakup in three years?"
Marlene rolled her eyes.
Alice laughed. "Those weren't break-ups, Lily," she said.
"Yes, they were," Marlene maintained.
Alice shook her head. "Honey, let me tell you what a break-up is. It's what happened with Lily and Severus."
James's jaw dropped. What?!
"We were not in a relationship!" squealed Lily.
"Officially, no. But you were basically doing everything a couple usually do. Except the snogging part, of course," said Alice.
"But I do all of that with Remus too," said Lily, ignoring the fact that they weren't talking.
"But Remus isn't in love with you," said Alice. Everyone gaped at her.
"Are you saying Severus is in love with me?!" asked Lily.
"Wasn't it obvious to you?" Alice asked calmly and Lily's eyes widened as she realised.
"Yeah, I guess I knew that," she said, playing with a cherry.
"Hey," said Alice, crawling over to her and putting her arm over her shoulder.
James felt inordinately jealous. That oily git.
"Alice, I don't think this was the right time to bring that up," chided Mary.
"No, it's the perfect time to bring this up," said Marlene sternly. "Did he ever tell you that he loves you?"
"No. I mean he always told me he cared about me…" she mumbled.
Suddenly James realised that he shouldn't be eavesdropping on such a private conversation… even if it was related to Lily's love life.
"But he doesn't care about me! He never cared about me! All this time he was spending time with me just because he had a stupid crush on me! He never cared about anything I said, I practically begged him to stop hanging with Mulciber... and that creepy Avery, but no. 'Oh, I have to, Lily… you don't know what it's like being in Slytherin,' …" she picked up a pebble and threw it into the lake.
"Okay okay, calm down girl," said Alice, gently rubbing her back.
"Here," said Mary, handing her a chicken sandwich. Lily gave her a small smile as she took it.
"I know something that always cheers Lily up," said Marlene, and whispered the incantation for the Patronus charm.
James watched in awe as a rattlesnake Patronus slithered out of her wand and wrapped itself around Lily's shins. Lily giggled. "Wow!" he uttered loudly, forgetting himself and the girls jumped, yelping.
Lily's wand was out and she pointed it in his general direction. "Who's there?" she asked loudly. James stumbled back, crushing the dried leaves under his shoe.
"Stupefy!" she yelled and red light shot from her wand and they heard an 'uff' and a crash.
"You got them!" Marlene whispered and they all got to their feet and cautiously walked into the tree line, with their wands at the ready.
"There," Alice pointed at a pair of feet. They walked closer.
"Shit! It's Potter!" shrieked Mary, and they ran over to him.
"Oh no!" wailed Lily.
"Rennervate," Marlene said, and James blinked.
"James, you okay?" asked Marlene, helping him to his feet.
"Yeah... yeah I'm fine," he said, sounding exhausted. He brushed leaves and dirt off his robes. The girls led him out to the picnic blanket and made him sit on it. Then they made him drink a goblet of pumpkin juice.
"Are you sure you're okay? Shall I take you up to the Hospital wing?" Alice asked him.
"No, no, I'm good, Alice. Really," he assured her and smiled tiredly.
"I'm sorry I stunned you, but why were you lurking in the forest?" Lily asked suspiciously.
James looked at her. "I…" he said and his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about what to say. He quickly got to his feet. "I just- I came to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ruining your friendship with Snape," he told her, looking pretty distressed.
Lily got to her feet too. He heard everything.
"You didn't," she told him.
James was a bit surprised, but he hid it well. So, she's still gonna be friends with him after he called her then m-word, contradicting everything she just said? "Oh," he managed to say.
"I meant, you didn't," she corrected herself.
Oh. "Right," he said, a grin breaking out slowly on his face, and Lily got annoyed again.
"That doesn't mean I'm condoning your outright bullying of a fellow student!" she yelled.
"I honestly had no idea you and Severus were lovers," he said.
"We weren't lovers."
"But-"
"He likes me, I don't like him," she said. "Oh, why am I even telling you this?"
"I'm still sorry, I felt like I came in between the two of you," he said, he looked genuinely sad about it.
"That you did," she said and he looked sadder.
"I'm really sorry."
"I don't believe you, Potter."
"How can I prove myself, Lily?" he asked. "I'll do anything." Lily noticed he had referred to her by her first name for the first time. It was to show his sincerity for what he was saying.
"Ooh, you shouldn't have said that, mate," said Marlene. The other girls grinned at him.
"I'm serious," he said.
"Apologise to Severus, then," Lily told him plainly.
"What?" he said, shocked.
"You want to prove yourself to me, right? You said you'd do anything? Do this, and I'll believe you," she told him.
James blinked at her.
"Oh, that's right, Potter, you won't be able to do it, will you?" said Mary mockingly.
"Not with his Jupiter-sized ego," said Lily.
"I'll do it," said James.
"What?" asked Lily.
"You do know what you're saying, right?" said Marlene.
"Yes, I'll apologise to Severus," he said, folding his hands confidently. "James Potter can do anything."
"Such arrogance, I hope Slughorn gave you detentions lasting the rest of your school career," she said loudly.
"Slughorn didn't give us any detentions. Neither did McGonagall... although she did say she'd punish us when we get back next year," he told her, grinning broadly.
"How can you think this is hilarious?! I hope you rot in detention! Now get the hell away from me before I stun you again!" she yelled at him, bending to pick up her wand again.
"I don't think it's hilarious!" he said quickly. He was used to her yelling at him, but he didn't think he could take getting stunned twice in one day, so he scrammed.
"He is so incredibly annoying!" Lily said, exasperatedly. She removed her coat and threw it on the ground and looked around. "I'm going for a swim," she announced, removing her outer robe.
"Er, what?" Alice asked nervously.
She didn't reply, she just took all her clothes off until only her vest and undergarments remained. "Who's coming in with me?" she asked, grinning mischievously.
"Ah, what the hell," said Marlene, removing her clothes too.
"Won't it be freezing, though?" asked Mary, while Alice was contemplating.
"It's July," said Marlene, as if that decided everything. The Scottish Highlands were always freezing cold in the evenings.
Lily and Marlene waded in till the water reached their thighs. "Come in, or we'll splash you," Marlene threatened them. The other two laughed and took off their clothes as well.
The three Marauders accosted James as soon as he entered the dorm. "Tell. Us. Ev-e-ry-thing," said Remus, and James grinned.
"Let me sit down," he said and walked over to the bed.
"That piece of shit!" exclaimed Sirius loudly, as James arrived to the part where Lily told the girls that she knew Severus had been in love with her the whole time. "I'll transfigure him into a bug and crush him between my fingers!" The other three chuckled.
"Appreciate the support, mate, but…" James's voice trailed away.
"But what?" Peter asked.
"It's just...when I heard her talk about Snape like that… It felt weird you know?" James said, looking at the three of them, wondering if they understood. Sirius raised a quizzical eyebrow, Peter's face was blank as if he was waiting for James to continue, but Remus grimaced.
"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," Remus said and the other two looked at him.
"Huh?" asked Sirius.
"You know, last year, when Lily and I became friends, Severus would follow me around. It wasn't actually because he wanted to discover my secret," Remus said to the others. "He discovered my secret because he followed me."
"Oh yeah, I get it. He was following you to figure out whether you liked Lily too," said James, nodding.
"Oh," said Peter.
"The git," said Sirius.
"Yeah, it was not a good feeling... I could guess why he was doing it. But he needn't have worried, I wasn't going to come in between them," Remus said.
"But I did," James said, looking miserable. "Even if Evans doesn't think so."
"What? She told you that?" asked Remus.
"Yeah, kind of. After she stunned me," he said.
"She STUNNED YOU?!" yelled Sirius, horrified.
"Not on purpose! Let me explain," James said, quickly, and told them the rest of the story. "...then she threatened to stun me again if I didn't leave, so I came back," finished James, grinning.
"Mate, that was such a nice moment between you two, and you just had to go and ruin it," said Peter, folding his hand and chuckling.
"I gave her the most innocent smile I could muster, to let her know I was grateful. It was her fault she didn't get it," James whined. The others sniggered.
"You're back to square one with her," sniggered Peter. James pouted.
"No you're not, if you apologise to Severus, this will be a huge step," said Remus encouragingly.
"I can't fucking believe you said you'd apologise to Snivelly! To Snivelly!" said Sirius. James grinned at him.
The next morning, James decided to do it. He and Remus got up and walked over to Severus. Minerva's eyes followed the two boys as they neared the Slytherin table.
"Remind me again why they're doing it here in the Great Hall?" Peter asked Sirius.
"They're doing it in front of everybody so Snivellus doesn't whinge about it later," said Sirius.
It was super awkward. Severus looked up at James. "What do you want, Potter? Didn't get enough the other day?" Up at the staff table, Minerva and Horace exchanged concerned glances.
"About that, Snape, I'm here to apologise," James told him.
Severus laughed, and so did some of the other Slytherins around him. "Apologise?" he asked, and slowly got to his feet.
"Pathetic," muttered Macnair, but James ignored him.
"Yes, apologise," said James. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For bullying you, using the Levicorpus-"
"Shut up, Potter," said Severus. "Just shut up." He folded his hands and looked at Lupin. "Why are you apologising? Who's making you do it? Lupin? I know you, Potter, you'd never do this on your own." James said nothing.
"Ah, I know," Severus whispered dramatically. "Are you apologising to me to gain my forgiveness, or to gain favour with Lily?" James looked down at his feet.
"It's what I thought," Severus said malevolently. "You know I'll never forgive you, right, Potter? And I'm not talking about the Levicorpus."
James looked up at him. Severus looked over at Lily at the Gryffindor table and back at James. "I'll never forgive you, Potter," he said.
"Now, piss off!" said Macnair. Remus put his hand on James' shoulder and they walked away, out of the Hall.
Sirius stood up. "He doesn't look so good," he said, and he and Peter immediately followed them.
"Holy Merlin, he did it!" exclaimed Lily. "He actually apologised to Severus!"
"And it didn't escalate into another duel!" cried Mary.
"I didn't think he could do it," said Marlene.
"I always knew James could do it," said Alice, smiling. "I never doubted him for a second."
"That's why we call you the nicest person to ever exist," Mary told Alice.
Alice smiled. "So when he said yesterday that 'James Potter can do anything', I guess he had meant he'd do anything for you," she said, and Lily looked at her solemnly.
When Sirius and Peter caught up to them, Remus seemed to be scolding James.
"You heard what he said, I did come in between the two of them, I ruined his chances with her-" James was saying. He looked miserable.
"You did not!" said Remus sternly. "I swear to you, Lily never had feelings for Severus, she wouldn't have accepted him as a lover even if they had stayed friends!"
"You don't know that, what if their friendship had developed into a romance like it does in the novels?" said James.
"What are you talking about, James? You don't read novels," said Peter, but James didn't smile.
"There was no friendship left to develop anyway, James," said Remus. "Severus just isn't ready to accept that fact. And anyway, he doesn't care about the whole Levicorpus thing, Prongs, you heard him."
"But-"
"The whole mudblood thing was just the last hammer strike to break the chain, like Aurangzeb," said Remus.
"Who's Aurangzeb?" asked James.
"A Mughal Emperor in medieval India. People - historians blame Aurangzeb for initiating the downfall of the Mughal Empire," said Remus
"So I'm Aurangzeb?!" asked James worriedly. "I initiated the downfall of their friendship?!"
"Remus!" Sirius said angrily.
"What I'm trying to say is, even though it appeared as if it was only Aurangzeb who'd done it, there were actually so many other emperors also responsible for it, so many other factors which lay hidden in plain sight," Remus quickly explained. "Do you get what I'm saying?"
James nodded. "Yeah." But he still looked like he'd just witnessed a puppy dying, so Sirius hugged him.
Remus and Peter looked at him curiously. "What? Hugs make you feel better," he told them.
"Thanks, Pads," said James, giving him a small smile. "I do feel better." Peter simply nodded and thumped James on the back.
