Chapter 50

The smell of rain far off in the distance hit Snow's nose. It reminded her of the days she was living in the forest while on the run from Regina. She turned around. Everyone that was important to her was there. They were all waiting for their turn with Coraline. They were all together, but they were still so far apart.

She shook her head. Nothing was making sense to her anymore. Her son had half a heart and she figured it was because of what happened when she cast the second curse. She wondered if her selfishness for having Regina split her heart so that David wouldn't stay dead caused Neal to have a fractured heart. She honestly didn't know if that was the true reason or not. It didn't really matter at the moment. What mattered to her was that her granddaughter was about to sacrifice herself in order to protect them all from something that Snow herself hadn't even done yet. It didn't sit well with her. How could it? She wondered when she would no longer be punished for whatever wrong doings that she had done. Her family shouldn't be the ones being punished for her mistakes.

Emma was the product of True Love. Because of that, she was the Saviour and she had magical power. Regina and Rumple reasoned it was because she was made of True Love. But that only made Snow question more. What made Emma so different from Neal? Was her love for her son not good enough? Snow had no clue why her son had half a heart, but her own granddaughter was willing to give up her whole heart in order to save him. She couldn't even begin to speculate the fresh Hell that this was causing her daughter and her former step-mother, Regina.

She saw Emma pacing near the woods. She pulled away from Charming and walked over to her. She needed her daughter in this moment and she hoped that her daughter needed her, too. Her heart was breaking, but she would still have her children when this was over. She couldn't imagine the pain that Emma was going through.

"Emma?" she asked as she neared her blond daughter.

She could see the tension in her body. Emma was rigid and taught like a bow string that was about to pop. She wondered how much more Emma could take before she actually snapped.

"Emma," she said again as she got right next to her.

Emma for her part didn't stop moving. She barely acknowledged Snow's presence as she fell into step with her. Her brain was telling her to move, to run, to figure out something that would make the pain stop, but her heart was telling her to stay and be with her family while they dealt with this. It was almost a nature versus nurture situation.

She didn't stop moving until Snow finally reached out and grabbed her arm. She turned abruptly, ready to strike until she saw the look on Snow's face. The anger on her face fell. She still couldn't say anything. Her body was aching to do something, but her mind wasn't sure what to do. It was like her entire being was at war with itself.

"Emma," Snow tried again.

Her hazel eyes met her daughter's usually bright green eyes. She saw the sadness that was lingering behind the front she was showing. She truly was a mixture of her and Charming. She could feel the tightness vibrating inside her blond daughter's body. She didn't know what else to do for her in that moment. She wanted to talk to her, to explain that somehow this was going to be all her fault and beg for forgiveness, but at the same time, she wanted to ease her daughter's pain. She did the only thing that she knew how to do in that moment. She hugged her.

Emma didn't stop her. Her body screamed at her to do something, to fight back, but she felt it betraying her as Snow just held her. She had never really had anyone be there for her when the proverbial "shit hit the fan" and she wasn't used to dealing with things like this. She was happy that she had her family and someone else to share it with. They let her know that she didn't have to be strong by herself anymore. But, she knew that some habits were going to die hard.

Her body gave into the warmth that Snow was offering. She buried her head in the crook of her shoulder and let the dams of emotions break. Her whole body sobbed in her mother's arms.

"I've got you," Snow told her as she rubbed the back of her head.

Emma for the most part didn't fight her. She allowed Snow to comfort her. She was screaming out for Regina in her head, because she'd never truly known the love that a mother could give her. It had been the years in Storybrooke and getting to know her parents that allowed her to do it. There were no words. She had nothing to say that she hadn't already said. She was breaking and part of her wondered if she would survive it.

"Emma…"

"Mom, please…"

"Look, I know that you are about to lose your daughter. I get that. I really do."

"I know."

"But, Emma, you have to realize that you are going to get back, too."

Emma backed up and looked at her mother. This wasn't some prophecy. This was her damn family. She didn't understand how Snow could be so callus about it. Didn't she understand?

"I won't be getting her back," Emma hissed.

"Well, not Coraline, no, Emma, but you will still have Remy."

That thought smarted Emma in a way that she couldn't understand. She knew what Snow meant, but it wouldn't be the same. She loved Coraline. She was her daughter, too.

"I understand that your heart is ripping in two, Emma. I get that. It wasn't easy for me to put you in that wardrobe, but we did it. Look, I don't want to argue about that. I know how you feel about that, but I want you to understand that I know what it is like to sacrifice part of your family to save it all. Coraline is doing the same. She is willing to save Neal because she knows that it will make her childhood better. But, she also knows that she is still going to be born. She isn't leaving permanently. She is just going to be a baby next time that you have her."

Emma looked at her mother like she had two heads. Regina and Coraline had both tried to explain that to her, but Emma couldn't see it. She understood that Regina was pregnant and that Remy would be born in the next few months, but that didn't mean anything about Coraline. To Emma they were two different people and she didn't understand why no one else could see that. Coraline was her daughter. She could touch her. She was here, now. Remy was a blip on a sonogram. She was an abstract being because Emma couldn't hold her. Remy was going to be a malleable person that didn't already have concrete beliefs and memories. She would grow up in the shadow of herself and never honestly know who she was as she became who she would be.

"It isn't the same," Emma said quietly.

"No, it isn't. I am not saying that it isn't going to hurt, because it is…immensely. But, you have Regina, Henry, and Remy to think about. I need you to look inside that big beautiful heart that you have and see what you have in front of you," Snow urged.

"I do see what is front of me, Mom. I can't help but see it. I am literally watching my daughter die. I can't be happy about that," Emma replied.

"I am not telling you to be happy, Emma. I am telling you to be realistic. I am asking you to see that you aren't the only one hurting. I know that it hurts. I am expecting it to hurt, Emma. If it didn't, I would be worried about you," Snow said.

"Why? Why can't we do something else? What is it about Neal's heart that is going cause the darkness that we have to fight? Why is he so important?" Emma questioned.

"He is your brother, Emma. Wouldn't you do anything that you could to help him? Or, would you let him die?" Snow asked her.

Emma stared at her mother. There was a fire in her eyes. She didn't know whether to be angry or sad. Her heart was begging her mind to make a decision that it couldn't. She was trying to the weigh the pros and cons and neither side was winning. Either way someone had to die.

"What do you want from me?" Emma begged.

"I want you to get angry. I want you to be pissed and I want you to know it's okay. What Coraline is asking you isn't easy. And, we both know that she isn't asking lightly. But, we also know that if we don't help her transition the way she wants, then she'll find a way to do it on her own. She has become resolute in this, Emma. Short of us producing another heart, there is nothing that we can do in her eyes to stop the future from happening."

"Would that be so bad?" Emma asked as the tears began to form in her eyes.

"Go in there. Talk to your daughter. Ask her that question," Snow demanded.

Emma's shoulders fell. She knew what answer she would get from Coraline. And, she knew that she wouldn't like it. How could she? She knew what Coraline was feeling when she came to Storybrooke. She knew that she felt lost. Suddenly she was thrust into a family that she never really knew, but she had played them in all in doing so. She'd hid behind Belle in order to find out more about the women that we her mothers.

Her anger was near a boiling point and she needed an outlet. She didn't know what to do and in that moment, she feared that it was her fault. She'd fought Rumple and unleashed his darkness. It had no body to be tethered to honestly since Regina did whatever Regina had done to bring Emma back to life. Couldn't she just sacrifice herself to the Darkness? Wouldn't that work?

"Don't even think about it," Snow warned quietly.

"Think about what?"

"Giving into the darkness that is building inside you. You've fought it off dozens of times. Don't let this be the point that pushes you over the edge. We need you, Emma. Henry needs you. Remy is going to need. And as much as it pains me to say it, Regina needs you. We are a family and nothing we do is worth the cost of this family. Do you hear me? I have fought too long and too hard to keep it together and I am not going to stop now," Snow told her, her own anger building.

"THEN DO SOMETHING!"

"I AM!"

They stared at each other. Fiery green warring with burning hazel, they continued to pace. Neither one of them were paying attention to the looks that they were getting. They just didn't care. They needed to get it out. They needed to shout at each other. They needed to find a way past their feelings and latch on to truth of the situation.

Emma didn't want to believe that there wasn't something magically that she could do to save her family. She understood everyone's argument that she might be losing Coraline for now, but she would have Remy soon enough. It didn't do anything to stop the pain in her heart and it was gnawing at her fiercely. She didn't care that Coraline had to die so that Remy would live a better life. In her eyes, she was still losing her daughter.

"She didn't have me, Mom. She didn't have me to be there for her and I've let her down again. I can't save her," Emma stated falling to her knees on the dense earth on the edge of the forest just on the edge of the Abbey's parking lot.

"I know, Emma. I get that. I wasn't there for you and now you're all grown up. I regret that every day. It tears me up inside. It always has, but I know that you became the woman you are today because we put you in that wardrobe. You saved us all, Emma. In knowing that you would come back for us after twenty-eight years, I knew that we still had hope of defeating the curse. Of course things didn't work out the way I'd hoped, but we found each other. We survived it and we became a family," Snow told her.

"I know that."

"But, do you realize this is the same thing for Coraline?"

"What do you mean?"

"She grew up without you or Regina. Yeah, she had Belle and Red, but she didn't have her mothers. She grew up in a hard time in the Enchanted Forest, always wondering about her mothers. She had to grow up listening to their heroic acts and know that they went out to face the Darkness head on leaving her behind to restore the kingdom. Do you think that was easy for her? Do you think that she wanted that fate?" Snow asked.

"No."

"We both know that she didn't. She's told us as much. Do you not remember how angry she was a few months ago? She drove to Boston in order to learn about you from the only person that she knew from stories that you kept in contact with. She was trying to learn about a family that she'd only heard about in tales and stories. Sound familiar?"

"Yes."

"She is so much like you, Emma. She is strong. She is magical. She is a survivor and she is a fighter. She has proven that every day that she's been here. And, now, we have to help her fight. We have to help her die in our past so that she can have a better future. Does that make it an easier for us? No, it doesn't. But, that doesn't mean that we aren't going to help."

"I know that," Emma replied.

"We're Charmings, Emma. We don't give up hope. We never have. And, fortunately for us all, we still have hope in Coraline," Snow told her.

"How? She is still dying. That hasn't changed," Emma stated.

"Because she is going to be born and by her actions we will give her the life that she wanted. She will grow up with both of her mothers. She will have her extended family and she won't have to worry about the Blackness or the darkness. She has completed the mission that she came to do. She is saving us from a bleak future we haven't even lived yet."

"I know that."

"Then believe that Coraline has thought this through. She is a brave and smart woman, like both of her mothers. She has both a light and dark side. And, she is willing to sacrifice herself in order to save us all from this horrible fate. Are you willing to do the same?"

"Of course, I am."

"Then love her while you can and never forget who she is."

"Mom…"

"No, Emma. Love her and cherish every minute that you have with her. You get a second chance at raising her this time. She is insuring it. Wouldn't you do the same?"

"Yes…"

"Then forgive her for this. Forgive her for coming back and making you love her so much that you are unwilling to lose her. Realize that Regina is pregnant and that child is going to be spoiled rotten. She is never going to have to wonder if she's loved. She is never going to have to wonder about her family because she is going to have them. She will be loved."

Emma started crying. She didn't know why her mother telling her this made it so much more…real and bearable, but it did. She knew that Snow would have a unique perspective on the situation because of their relationship. But, since Snow was making her step back and think about what was going on, what was being gained over what was being lost; Emma felt her heart not hurting as badly.

"It still hurts."

"It will never stop."

"I'm sorry."

"For what, Emma?"

"Forever doubting the power of our family," Emma stated.

"Remember that the power of love is always stronger than hate and anger. Don't give into it, Emma. Find the light in the situation and hold on to it. It isn't the easy way, but in the end, it is the best way. We can do anything if we do it for the right reasons. Coraline is proving it."

"I know."

"Do you think that this is easy for her?"

"What do you mean?"

"She is obviously suffering. Regina, the fairies and you are doing everything that you can to help her, but it just isn't enough. It is our love and our family that has helped us through this. I would be lying if I told her that watching her die wasn't tearing me up inside. I feel responsible somehow. I feel like I haven't done enough for you as your mother or for her because I am her grandmother. I should be able to make this pain go away and we should live together for a long time. Unfortunately, that isn't how this story goes. We are rewriting our future, Emma. Things are bound to hurt. There are going to be painful times in our lives. The only thing that we can do is embrace it and move past it letting our love radiate over our lives. Can you still do that?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"You always have a choice, Emma. It is what you do with that choice that makes the difference in our lives. Will you stand with your daughter as she does this? Or, will you try to stop her?"

Emma didn't have time to respond to her. Snow walked off to let Emma think over everything that they discussed. She knew that Emma would need that time to come to realization on her own. She needed the time to process everything that was truly going in their situation.

Emma watched her go. She was still upset, but she was starting to see her mother's position. She hated it, but she realized that she was getting a chance that her own mother did have. She was going to be there for her daughter. She watched her walk away.

It was in that moment that Emma looked around at everyone at the Abbey. Her parents were there. Her son and her lover were both nearby. Her friends that were so close to her that they were like family, Belle, Ruby, and Wilhelmina, were there. Emma saw that even the fairies were there for her and Coraline. Blue and Tink were watching over them upholding their fairy godmother roles for the all. Everyone that was important to her, everyone that she was close to in Storybrooke, everyone that she had come to love was there to support her, her daughter and their love for their family and friends.

She realized that she had so much support that she didn't know what to do with it all. She truly was part of the Charming clan because they always found a way and it was usually done with love. Coraline doing this to save her own childhood was no exception. Emma realized that Coraline was willing to die for her so that she would have her parents during her childhood. I was a wish that Emma had had for twenty-eight years. She had been willing to give up anything if she could have had a stable family filled with love and now she had that. Who was she to deny that to her own daughter?

Emma stayed on the ground. She wasn't sure that she had the will to stand up and face the truth that was beyond the front doors of the Abbey. She knew that she couldn't stay out there forever. She would eventually have to go inside and talk to her daughter, but her heart was dreading it. She was used to being the one sacrificing or doing without in order for others to be happy.

Her knees finally hurt and she stood up. She watched as the sun started going down behind the trees behind the Abbey. As she watched the light fading away, her eyes met those of her son and her best friend and godmother, Ruby. She saw the pain in both their eyes and she knew that there was nothing that she could do to assuage it.

Something flickered in Ruby's eyes. Emma saw it and she knew that Ruby knew that she saw it. Ruby leaned over and whispered something in Henry's ear. He turned to the Wolf, the disbelief written all over his face, but he got up regardless and walked away from her as Emma approached. He gave his mother a sparing glance as he walked across the parking lot. To Emma it looked like he was searching for someone else to go talk to and her heart hurt for him.

She sat down on the steps to the porch next to Ruby. She didn't say anything, neither did Ruby. They just sat there and stared out over the gathered crowd. Emma couldn't say what they were looking for but she knew that they hadn't found it yet amongst them all.

"She wants to talk to you," Ruby told her finally breaking their silence.

"I know."

"No, Ems, like she wants to talk to you next," Ruby countered.

"Oh," Emma answered, but she didn't make any attempt to move.

"She loves you, you know," Ruby said.

"I do."

"Then go talk to her, Emma."

"And say what?" Emma questioned facing her.

"I don't know. Maybe you should start with whatever is on your mind. She understands why you are upset. She gets it, but she doesn't want you to be angry with her over the decision. She is doing this for herself," Ruby told her.

"She's being selfish."

"Who's being selfish in this, Emma? Coraline or you?"

Emma didn't know what to say to her about that. She knew that she was being selfish about it, but she didn't want her daughter to die. She didn't think that was too much to ask. She knew that it wasn't wrong to think that, but she knew that she needed to start thinking in the long term. She was being selfish. She knew that she was, but that didn't stop her thoughts. She took a deep a breath and let it go.

"I got you, Ruby. I am sorry. I just…"

"I know, Emma. I know. No one wants her to go. We all love her, but we know that she has to do this in order to save us all in the future. But, you have to remember that you will have Coraline again. She'll be Remy, and still your daughter," Ruby replied.

"I should go talk to her, huh?" Emma asked.

"It would be a good idea, yeah."

"Will you be here when I get back?"

"Yes, Emma, I'll be here. I am not going anywhere. Besides, I've been given some things to do by Coraline. I can't just leave everyone here, yet," Ruby explained.

"Some things to do?"

"Don't worry about me, Emma. I'll be okay. Go talk to your daughter," Ruby urged her.

Emma sighed. She stood up and slowly walked towards the doors behind them. She took one look back and looked over her true family and her chosen family. She needed them all and they needed her. But, now she needed to face her fears and see her dying daughter.

She reached out for the handle. She knew that going into the Abbey, into the cloisters to the room where her adult daughter lay dying that she was no longer the Saviour. She was just a mother in pain. She knew that there was nothing that she could do in order to save her daughter. They had exhausted all avenues.

She couldn't even advocate the use of dark magic because she knew that Regina wouldn't allow. But, also because she knew that it was dark magic that was killing her. There was no price to pay but her own life and that was the thing that Coraline was trying to stop. No, Emma would have to find another way if there was one to be found. She knew that she wouldn't stop looking, but that didn't make the pain of seeing her daughter on that pallet any easier. It was with her limited knowledge of magic and powerful totems that she didn't understand that the quilt that should be saving her daughter's life was only keeping her alive. Had the Darkness that tried to make Emma succumb to its will chosen her daughter instead?

She sighed and pulled the heavy wooden door open. She slowly stepped into the building. With each echoing step, Emma felt her heart drop more as she approached the room Coraline was in. She saw that Tink was outside the room, where she had been on guard duty for the past few days, only leaving when Blue or Red were there. Their eyes met.

"She's waiting on you," Tink told her.

"I know," Emma replied, but she still didn't make move to go inside the room.

It was like her feet were planted, rooted, to the spot. Tink could see the trepidation in her eyes. Like Regina, Emma wore her heart on her sleeve. Her eyes were expressive and hard. She only let you know how she was feeling when she wanted you to know, but in extremely emotional situations, like this one, neither of them could hide their anguish. Emma has actually stopped trying. She didn't care who saw her pain. She wanted them all to know that it was her daughter that was dying. She wanted them see what her sacrifice was doing to their "Saviour."

All at once, she collapsed to the floor. Tink tried to catch her but she didn't make it in time. She broke down and Tink was the only one there for her. Emma sobbed; great big large sobs that came from the depths of her soul that she forgot even existed. Her body rocked with the emotional turmoil that her brain had been fighting for days.

"Why can't it be me in there?" Emma chocked out quietly.

Tink shushed her, holding her as she continued to rock in anguish. She held her tighter each time that the sobs grew loud and would just rock with her as Emma would start to quiet down before she would have to tighten her hold again. It was cycling and each cycle was longer than the last. Tink didn't know how long they stayed like that and she was surprised that she was the one that was dealing with Emma's breakdown. She would have expected Snow or Regina to be there with her, but they were dealing with their own feelings.

When Emma finally stopped, Tink asked her, "Do you want me to get someone for you?"

"No."

Emma looked at her. There was a burning fire in her eyes. She had only seen that fire once before and she knew that it wasn't good. Emma had given her the same look in Neverland when they were looking for Regina. It was the first time that she met Emma.

"Emma?"

"I have to do this on my own," she murmured as she tried to stand.

Tink just supported her as her legs gave way. They couldn't help her stand up against her emotional distress. She held Emma again, but she could feel a new cold and distant calm coming over her. Emma was distancing herself from…everything.

"I'll be okay, Tink."

But, Tink watched her. She knew that Emma was anything but okay in that moment. She was in pain and the internal turmoil to give up her own life for her daughter was weighing heavy on her mind. Tink may not have been the family fairy for Emma, but she was still a fairy. She could hear Emma's desperate thoughts loud and clear.

"It isn't your time to die, Emma," Tink said softly, trying not to raise her ire.

"Why not?"

"Because you have to raise her to be that beautiful woman in there," Tink answered.

Emma scoffed at the idea. She knew that she had nothing to do with the rearing of her own daughter. The beautiful woman in that bed dying was the product of Red and Belle, not Regina and Emma. That didn't matter to her, though; she still loved her daughter with all her heart.

"Listen to me, Emma. I know that you love your daughter. No one is going to deny that, but you cannot take the curse on that is destroying her body. It isn't your curse to carry."

"It isn't hers either."

"It may not be, but she has chosen to take it. You cannot take that from her. She wouldn't allow it. This is her choice and you have to honor that," Tink told her.

"NO, I don't."

"Emma, she is your daughter. She came back in time to protect your life for the simple reason that she wanted to know who you were. Would you deny her the chance to grow up in a loving home with you and Regina? Would you deny her her family? Would you sentence her to a life worse than you had?"

"What do you know about my life?" Emma questioned the green fairy with venom.

"I know that you had a hard life being an orphan in this world. You are a lost girl. I might have come for you in another life and helped you, but I didn't have wings. I was stuck in Neverland and it wasn't all peaches and cream there. It sucked as you found out, but at least you were only there for a few days, a week tops. I lived there for years, hundreds of years. Yeah, you didn't have your parents or any idea who they were. Baelfire screwed you over and you gave up Henry. But, think about what she's gone through, Emma. Think about what she is trying to change in her life for the better," Tink explained.

Emma sat back on her ass. She looked up at the other blonde and hung her head. She knew what Coraline had told them. She knew what the journals had said. She knew what she wanted to do, but she also knew what she couldn't do.

"It isn't fair," Emma whispered.

"It never is, Emma. It never is. We can't control everything no matter how hard we try. We can only do the best with what we got. Coraline came here to alter her future. She didn't know at the time that it might cause her own destruction. Do you think that she cares about that right now? No, she doesn't. Because at least in this timeline for her, she knew who her mothers were and what they stood for. She was able to see the love that you were both so willing to give her without any reservation and unconditionally just because she was your daughter. She got the family that she wanted, even if it was only for a short time. She is willing to sacrifice herself now, so that she can have that later. She'll never know that she is the one that sacrificed herself in order to protect her family."

"Why not?"

"Would you tell your new born daughter that her adult-self came back from the future to save her both of her mothers from death? Cause I am sure that will go over well with the young Princess. I mean, who doesn't want to know that they are going to have a crap childhood in order to come back and save their parents?" Tink asked her.

Emma leaned back into her embrace. She hated the fact that Tink made sense. She wanted to be angry with her, but she just couldn't find the way to do it. She couldn't argue with truth, no matter how farfetched and magical it was.

"What am I supposed to do, Tink?"

"Let her go."

"I can't."

"You have to, Emma. Not only for your sake, but hers as well. Would you condemn your own daughter to a life without you just because you want her to live now?"

"No," Emma stated.

"Then, let her go."

Emma turned to look into her hazel eyes more fully. She saw the promise of a new day, but still the pain in her heart was overriding her sensibilities. She loved Regina. She loved Henry. She loved her parents, even when they were idiots. She loved her little brother. But, for some reason her heart wouldn't let her let Coraline go.

"How?" Emma questioned.

"By letting her fulfill a destiny she didn't know she had. In her timeline she is known as the Survivor. That is what she is, but she is so much more. She is the daughter of the Evil Queen and the Saviour. She has the ability to save us from the Darkness by taking it on herself, Emma. You have to allow her to do this because it is the right thing to do," Tink told her.

"But, she's my daughter. She shouldn't have to deal with anguish that entails. She should get her happy ending. She shouldn't have to sacrifice herself in order for us to survive life."

"That is how she gets her happy ending…"

"What?"

"The longer she lies in that bed, the more her memories change."

"But…"

"Why are you questioning this? She is changing her history but she knows that she isn't there while she grows up. You are though. To her that means that she is doing the right thing."

"Why hasn't she told us this then?" Emma asked her.

"Have you asked her?" Tink replied much to Emma's dismay.

Emma knew that she was right. She hadn't really talked to Coraline since she announced that she was going to exchange hearts with Neal. Emma had gone off on a spiral. She hadn't been there for Regina. She had fled into her own head. She didn't want to face what was going on in front of her. She wanted to run. She wanted to make Coraline find another way to save Neal and them all. She was so focused on that, that she hadn't seen the pain that she was causing with her denial that things were bad. Everyone around her had been struggling and she wasn't doing anything to help anyone deal with it.

"There are a lot of things that I haven't done when it comes to Coraline. I still feel like I have failed her in more than one way and epically in ways that I can never ask her for forgiveness. How can I talk to her when I don't know what to say? I don't know what to do. She is so resolute in this that it doesn't matter what I want to say to her," Emma stated.

"Then, be the one thing that she has always wanted you to be, Emma."

"Yeah, and what's that?"

"Her mother," Tink replied as she released her and stood up.