Chapter forty-eight:

"All the leaves are brown

And the sky is grey

I've been for a walk

On a winters day

If I didn't tell her

I could leave today"

"California Dreaming" The Mama's and the the Papa's

"You and Rick better be careful out there." Heaven propped herself up on her elbow, watching her husband as he fastened his belt. "After them Wolves, I don't trust anybody out there."

Daryl crawled back up the bed towards her like a lion on the prowl. He pressed his face in-between her cheek and shoulder, kissing her collar bone. One hand pressed flat against her belly. She had been on strict bed rest since the invasion of the hoard. Denise determined that the bleeding wasn't threatening but could be if she didn't rest her body.

"I'll be fine, it's you I'm worried 'bout." He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. Then he pointed in finger at her. "Stay in bed. That's an order."

"Yessir!" She mock saluted him as he retreated to finish dressing.

Before Daryl left he told Carol to look after her, to make sure she "kept her ass in bed" and didn't do anything stupid, which she had a habit of doing. Carol too, saluted him, grinning when he went into the car with a sour look on his face.

X

If there was one thing Heaven hated about being pregnant it was having to pee all the time. Carolina had a habit of kicking her badder for fun and if Heaven dragged her body from bed again tonight it would've been the fifth time.

She cracked open her eyes, letting them adjust and found a man in her room. For a moment she pretended to be asleep and slowly reached for the knife under her pillow just in case. The man crept further into her room and leaned over Beau's crib, smiling faintly before leaving the room.

Heaven threw back the covers and pulled out her pistol from the drawer beside her bed and snuck out into the hall. She watched the man opened the door to Rick's room and rushed in behind him, pulling back the hammer and training it on his head.

"Let's make this quick, I have to pee." She went from one leg to another, trying to hold it in.

"I've got this, Heaven go to the bathroom." Michonne pulled on her clothes, grabbing her sword.

Thankful, the pregnant woman put the safety on the gun and rushed towards the nearest bathroom. When she returned, she found the long haired man sitting on the step looking at a painting of a playing card. Carl had his own pistol trained at the man's head, demanding answers.

Heaven grabbed his shoulder, but before she could explain Daryl rushed up the stairs followed by several others.

"What the hell are ya doin' up, woman?" Daryl demanded, putting his weapon aside to go up the stairs two at a time.

Heaven turned on her heel and raced him back to their room. "I had to pee! I had to pee! I'm sorry, I had to pee!"

X

"I've got a bad feelin' about all of this." Heaven said as she handed Daryl his crossbow. "Just so ya know."

Daryl flung the crossbow over his shoulder, "You've got a bad feelin' 'bout everythin'."

She crossed her arms and turned her attention towards the others loading up the RV and getting ready to go. Beau was down for his nap, the baby monitor attached to her gun belt which she wore over her dress. After the attack of the Wolves she had carried it on her person wherever she went.

"I hate this."

He turned back to her from tossing his bag in the RV. "Hate what?"

"Bein' barefoot and pregnant again." She turned her gaze to him. "Not bein' able to help out."

Daryl watched her for a second, her eyes drifting back towards the group saying their goodbyes. Rick held Judith for a while talking to Carl. Heaven was playing her part by looking after those two, but he knew she wanted to do more to help. Like she used to. Now she was just going back to what she used to to be before the dead walked.

"Yer time will come soon." He put a hand on her shoulder and brought her in close, resting his chin on the top of her head. "But fer now, stay safe."

X

Heaven didn't like half baked ideas. Just like she didn't like half cooked meat. Or peaches, and she was starting to crave them a lot recently. But Rick's plan to go after the Saviors didn't sit well with her. They didn't know how many of them there were or what kind of fire power they had. They knew little about their base of what they could do. Half baked.

But Rick was right. They had to try. But bears also tried to get honey from bee's nests and sometimes they got stung. And sometimes you get viciously bit by fire ants when you step in their mound. When Morgan stood in the church and tried to spout out his peaceful notions, it took every fiber in Heaven's body not to chuck a hymn book at him. Daryl felt her tense under his arm, and squeezed her shoulder.

When it was all said and done, Heaven stood and was met with the tall frame of Jesus. Daryl got to his feet and growled "can I help you?", causing the younger man to back off slightly.

"I just…" Jesus, pinched his eyebrows together and searched Heaven's face intently. "Do you have a twin? Or a sister?"

"I did," the question caught her off guard, and she had to stop Daryl from barking back at the man like a guard dog. "A twin sister, but she died when I was in elementary school. Why?"

"Oh," Jesus ran a hand through his hair, releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "One of Neegan's people look a lot like you, that's all. Maybe it's just a doppelgänger."

He chuckled but Heaven didn't and brushed past him, exiting the church.

X

"Afternoon," Heaven stopped at the base of the porch steps, her hand on the railing, waiting for permission.

Carol nodded and Heaven took it as a good sign and proceeded up the steps. With her cigarette extinguished, Carol uncrossed her legs and made room for the other woman on the swing. Beau was under the watchful eye of Carl, and Heaven wanted fresh air, tired of being confined to her bed.

"Do you want me to teach you how to use that?" Heaven asked, gesturing to the rosary with her chin.

Carol realized she was still holding onto the thing. It had been an odd source of comfort for her, even if she wasn't very religious. And now she understood why Heaven had hung onto hers even after God had abandoned them.

"No, I…" Carol let out a dry laugh. "I don't even know why I still have it."

"It bothers you, doesn't it?" Heaven put her hand over Carol's, covering the rosary. "Killing people I mean."

The grey haired woman only nodded, tilting her head back to rest it on the back of the swing. Heaven patted her hand and began to push her toes into the floorboards, making the swing move a little. A breeze came by and made the leaves sway. Carolina moved around inside her.

"My mama was the most God fearin', bible-thumping woman I knew." Heaven began, letting her head fall back and rest on the back of the swing too. "My uncle was the opposite and family is family, so he moved in with us. And not a week later he began to molest me. My mama didn't believe me when I tried to tell her, so it went on for a while. Sometimes I would get away and run to Daryl's house. He'd look after me there. Then one night she caught my uncle hurting me."

Carol rolled her head towards Heaven, the younger girls gaze fixated on the ceiling. "What did she do?"

"She shot him in the face." Heaven didn't look down at Carol, but she still smiled. "That God-fearing woman killed a man in cold blood to protect me. Just like you kill people to protect us."

"It's not something I enjoy doing." The older woman sighed, reaching for her package of smokes but stoping when she remembered Heaven's pregnancy.

"No one enjoys killin'." Heaven responded. "But sometimes it's somethin' you need to do, even if you don't have to."