Holy bananas, Batman! 50 of these things! and... naturally the 50th one would be this. I really did have this dream, except... it wasn't Spike, it was Wil Wheaton... What the hell is wrong with me?


"Ah God, Wills, it was horrible."

She chuckled at him softly, all collegiate confidence and first-semester psychology classes as they sipped frosty coffee on a picnic table outside her dorm. He'd paid in exchange for a concoction of rue and hensbane."It was just a dream, Xander."

"I have to be under a spell or something, I mean, what the heck kind of guy dreams about getting pregnant?" That came out a little loud, and a guy coming out of the dorm raised an eyebrow. He dropped his voice to a hiss. "It was a spell, I know it! I mean… Spike?"

"Xander… why would anyone send you a nightmare about… being pregnant with Spike's baby?"

"I don't know! To freak me out? It's working – witness the freakage. I mean… I was happy, freaked out but…glowing!"

"You were… happy?" Willow's voice sounded like she was trying to strangle herself from the inside.

Xander couldn't stop the glare. "That was the weirdest part. I kept thinking how I'd have to protect it, and what I was going to name it, and Giles was there telling me I needed to start eating right and… Spike kept trying to pay for things and… he took us out to lunch, Will. That's just not right!"

"I think you're over reacting."

"He was still in his chair when I woke up! Smirking! Like he knew!"

"Maybe you're about to start your period," Willow murmured contemplatively, slurping the dregs of her frosty-mocha-chino-thingie with a rumble.

"I hate you. I really do."