Present Day
Randy's eyes opened to the sound of loud, blaring music and they quickly closed once the sunlight streaming into the bedroom hit them. He turned his body over and threw the covers over his head, praying for the sound to stop. It did after a few seconds but only minutes later began again. Randy groaned and pushed the covers down, lifting his body up in the bed slowly and turning towards the irritating sound. His phone flashed at him, the lights matching the booming of the music, and he hesitantly reached for it. His father's name flashed back at him and Randy sighed. He still wasn't ready to answer the call but his parents weren't making it easy on him. They hadn't stopped calling since Randy had made his frantic call to Bob.
Randy watched as the call ended and sighed at the message on the screen telling him he had 25 missed calls ranging from his parents, John's parents, Cody, Ted and Sam. As much as he wanted to remain buried in the covers, he knew he had no choice but to return one of those calls. His children had to hear from him even if that meant enduring a lecture from his parents, who were no doubt furious at his actions.
Randy hesitantly picked up the phone and dialed his parents' home in St. Louis, waiting anxiously for it to be answered. It was within seconds with a voice he longed to hear.
"Daddy!"
Randy's lips curved into a smile at the sound of his son's voice. "Hi, baby,"
"Daddy, where are you? Why did you leave? Are you coming home now?" asked Angel breathlessly.
Randy sighed and looked down at his bed. "I had to go away for a little bit, kiddo. I'll be home as soon as I can, though."
"Are you sick, too, Dad?"
The worry in Angel's voice made Randy feel like the worst parent in the world. He knew he shouldn't make the children worry about his health. They had seen John deteriorate before their eyes and that had been horrible enough.
"No, I'm not sick, Angel. I'm fine; just a little tired. I needed to take some time away from everything so I can rest and come home feeling better. Try to enjoy your time with Grandma and Grandpa and I'll be home soon."
Angel sighed over the phone. "I don't want to be with Grandma and Grandpa; I want to be with you! Are you mad at me because of yesterday? Is that why you left? I'm sorry! Please come home,"
"Baby, I could never be mad at you! You're my amazing little boy; you did nothing bad. It has nothing to do with you…or Al, before you ask," replied Randy, a small laugh escaping his lips.
"Then, come home, Daddy. Please," pleaded Angel, his voice sounding dangerously close to breaking down. Randy's eyes filled with tears and he shook his head. "I can't, baby. Not yet; I just can't. I'm not what you need right now and I'm so scared of hurting you and Al. I can't be a good Dad to you guys right now."
"I don't understand, Daddy. You are a good Daddy! I didn't mean to scream at you yesterday!"
Randy's heart broke when he heard Angel begin to cry in his ear. He began to pace the room, rubbing his hands through his short hair. "Angel, please, baby, don't cry. I'm not mad at you about yesterday or about anything. You should be the one mad at me. I screamed at you and said something very bad that I should never have said. I love you so much, kiddo. You and Ally are my entire life and you don't deserve that." He took a deep breath and willed himself to speak in a way his son would understand. "I don't feel like a good Dad right now, Angel. That's why I left for a little while. I'm still really angry inside about Daddy John dying and I don't ever want to take that anger out on you and Al."
Angel's cried only intensified in his ear and no amount of soothing could make him stop. Randy felt his heart ache, the pain so intense he slumped to the floor. Just when he thought he couldn't take anymore, another voice filled his ear.
"Are you pleased with yourself, Randy? Do you see what you're doing to a child you swore you would protect?"
Randy closed his eyes tightly, preparing himself for his father's wrath. "Dad, please don't. I can't do this with you, too."
"Well, that's too damn bad." Bob sighed into his ear, the sound full of weariness. "Son, I don't understand how you could just have walked away from your children. This is going to destroy them. They already lost one parent, Randy. What are you trying to accomplish here?"
Randy's eyes slowly opened, annoyance creeping into him. "Do you think I wanted to leave my kids, Dad? Don't you think I know what they must be feeling after everything they went through with John's illness?"
"Then, why aren't you here, comforting your son who's in tears right now?" asked Bob, no change in his tone.
"Because I'm not what they need right now. I almost bit Angel's head off the other day because he asked me a simple question! I've been like a robot around them for months now; there physically but not emotionally. I can't do this to them, Dad. They deserve better. I need some time to come to terms with what's happened to my life, Dad. I still can't believe this happened to me. I didn't sign up to be a widower and a single dad." Randy lifted his body off the floor, sliding up the wall. He walked over to the window and slid the curtain open, the bright greens of the trees almost blinding him.
"Randy, I've told you a million times; no one expected John to get sick, son. Of course you didn't want this; who would? The point is, it's what happened and it's what you have to learn to live with now. You're never gonna forget John. You have to learn to live with his death, though." Bob's voice suddenly became firm. "That is no longer a request, Randy. I have tried with you, John's parents have tried and even your friends have. We are no longer asking you. You will come to terms with this enough to get your ass home and be a father to your children. If you do not, you will regret it."
Randy let the curtain close and frowned as he turned away from the window. "What?"
"I never wanted it to come to this, Randy, but if you can't be a parent to these kids, someone else will take your place. Samantha would not have a problem if she decided to fight you for sole custody, especially if she has our support and your Mom and I are prepared to do the same for Angel. These kids deserve better if this is all you're going to give them."
Randy's eyes widened, his stomach dropping. "Are you fucking kidding me? You would try to take my kids from me? How could you even say something like that?"
"You leave me no choice, Randy."
Randy clenched his teeth, the annoyance turning into full blown anger now at the calmness in his father's voice. "How is it that me asking you for a few days to get myself together automatically makes me a deadbeat dad in your eyes? What part of 'I'm doing this so I can be a better father for my children' don't you understand?"
"I've said my peace. You know where I stand. You have one day to get home, Randy."
"Dad, do not threaten me. Those are my kids and no one will be taking them away from me!" growled Randy, his response a loud click in his ear.
Randy lowered the phone from his ear, looking at it incredulously, still shocked at what just happened. He let the phone drop from his hand and stalked out of the room, his loud footsteps echoing through the small wooden cabin, and walked out the front door into the front yard. Randy breathed deeply, trying to calm his nerves and anger. His eyes slowly opened and he took in his surroundings. The bright, full, green trees blew in the gentle breeze and the sounds of nature filled the space. Randy lowered his body to the front steps of the cabin and held back a smile. If John were there he would've fainted seeing Randy so at ease in an environment he hated. If John were there, though, the odds are Randy wouldn't have had run away in the first place. Everything in his life would be the way it was supposed to be.
When Randy had first driven away from the house, the only thoughts consuming his head was to get away from the house, get to the cabin he had rented and just make himself go to sleep and never wake up. Now, after the harsh conversation with his father, he felt the first inkling of doubt creeping in. It had been his intention when traveling there to do exactly what his father accused him off-abandoning his children. Why had the conversation with his father angered him so, then?
The last thing Randy had ever thought himself capable of was actually taking his own life. Even during the bleakest days during his divorce and injuries, he had never thought of it. It had taken the ending of his ultimate dream, living the rest of his life with John, to bring forth that thought. He had tried, he really had, to move forward over the past 5 months but it seemed no amount of therapy or support was helping. If anything, he was getting angrier and while he normally wouldn't care, when it started to show itself around his children, he cared.
The phone rang from inside the house and Randy rolled his eyes, ignoring the sound. He continued staring at the scenery in front of him, his mind swirling with thoughts. The phone continued to ring inside, distracting him, so he angrily stood and stalked into the house, retrieving the phone from the messy bedroom. Sam and Alanna's face looked back up at him and Randy sighed before answering the call.
"Hello,"
"Randy, where are you? Bob is so furious with you! What's going on?" asked a frantic Sam.
Randy walked back out into the yard and tried to sound calm. "Nothing is going on. I took a short trip to try to get my head together and Dad is freaking out about it."
"Are you sure? It sounded like there's more to it than that, Ran."
"I said nothing is going on, Sam. I have to go now…"
"Randy!" Sam's exasperated voice made Randy pause as he attempted to end the call and he bought the phone back up to his ear. "What, Sam? I'm busy."
"Well, I figured you would like to talk to your daughter…"
Randy sighed deeply. "Yes, put her on."
A loud clatter sounded in his ear as Sam set the phone down and minutes later his daughter's voice. "Daddy! Where are you? Mommy looks mad."
Randy smiled at her voice. "I just went away for a bit. Give Mommy a hug to make her feel better."
"I called Grandpa's house to speak to Angel and then he and Mommy started to talk and that's when she got mad."
Randy took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he knew would be Alanna's interrogation. It would be doubly worse if she had heard Angel crying. The protective nature she had developed for Angel in the orphanage had not lessened over the years. If you crossed her brother, the Orton temper in her immediately flared up and you would feel her wrath.
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, I don't know what they said, though. Angel sounded sad. He said you didn't tell him you were leaving and when he came home, Grandpa was the only one there. Why did you go without telling us, Daddy?"
Randy began to tap his foot nervously on the wooden floor. "It was a last minute decision, that's all."
"Will you be home soon?"
Randy's heart broke at the thought of lying to his daughter. "I'll try, baby. I'll be home as soon as I could. Just be a good girl with Mommy and remember how much I love you."
Alanna giggled in his ear. "I know, Daddy! I love you, too."
Randy smiled and cradled the phone to his ear. "I love hearing that from your voice. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. You're the best little girl I could have ever asked for."
"Why are you getting all mushy, Daddy?"
Randy laughed and shook his head. "It's not mushy, brat. I'm telling you how I feel."
"Fine, fine. I love you, Daddy. You're pretty awesome, too."
Randy smiled and headed into the cabin, locking the door behind him and letting the phone drop onto the table. His smile dropped as his eyes landed on the backpack he had bought with him. Randy walked over to it and opened the side pocket, quickly pulling out the bottle of pills he'd gotten. One of the perks of being a top dog in the WWE world, whether he had wrestled recently or not, was that it made it incredibly easy for him to get anything he wanted. Being a handsome man also helped. All he'd had to do was flash his smile and stare lovingly at the new medical doctor that recently started working in the same complex his therapist was located. The prescription for the strong medication had easily fallen into his hands after his flirting and complaints of pain.
Randy turned the bottle over in his hands, listening to the pills rattle inside. He thought back to the two conversations he'd had with his children. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved them more than anything and he knew his death would be hard on them. The only problem was that he truly believed sticking around would be worse for them. His parenting skills were at their worst and his patience level was even worse. All the amount of therapy in the world wasn't helping him and it had gotten to the point where he just didn't care. It was what he had to do. Despite his anger at the thought earlier, his father was right; his kids deserved better. His parents and Sam would be able to give his children everything he couldn't. The decision was made.
Before he could second guess his decision, Randy stalked into the kitchen and filled a glass with water. He opened the bottle and dumped the 10 pills in his hand, the water quickly washing them down his throat. He let the glass drop into the sink and grabbed the edge of the counter to steady his now shaking hands. Randy let it go slowly and walked back towards the bedroom, his eyes watering. He lowered his body into the bed and pulled the covers over his head. He closed his eyes as his body began to tingle and go numb simultaneously, something he saw as a sure sign the end was near. Randy took slow, deep breaths under the covers, his eyes closed and listened to the sound of the birds chirping outside the window until he heard nothing more.
Randy jerked awake as the bed dipped beside him. He frowned in annoyance and turned over slowly, his eyes widening practically to his hairline before he launched himself out of the bed. The figure sitting on the rumpled sheets smiled, dimples deepening in his handsome face.
"Come back to bed and sit down, Orton. We need to have a serious talk, baby."
Randy's mouth hung open in disbelief and he pulled his body even further away from the bed. He shook his head frantically and licked his suddenly dry lips. "Oh my God, it worked! I'm dead? I'm in heaven with you?"
John rolled his eyes, the smile still on his face. "No, dumbass, you're not dead. People who off themselves don't usually get the privilege of heaven."
Randy frowned and shook his head. "Then, what? Am I dreaming?"
John nodded. "Well of course it's a dream. I have to talk to you and this is the only way. Now, come here."
Randy still looked over at him, disbelief still on his face. "I don't believe in this shit. I'm not actually having a conversation with you. You're not really John. If this is a dream then I'm gonna wake up any minute."
The smile faded from John's face and he shook his head. "God, you were always so damn stubborn. Are you seriously gonna make me kick your ass…even now?"
Randy raised an eyebrow. "Well if this real and I'm talking to a ghost, you won't be able to kick my ass. Don't you go right through things?"
John rolled his eyes once more and stood up, quickly walking over to Randy and grabbing him tightly by his arm. "This isn't the movie 'Ghost', Randy."
Randy's eyes widened as the thing that looked like John pulled him towards the bed and shoved him down. He quickly sat back up but was shoved back. An angry growl escaped his lips. "What the hell are you doing? What are you?"
John laughed and kept a tight hold on Randy's arms, practically straddling the younger man. "Why can't you just believe me when I tell you God granted me a few minutes with you? When did you stop believing in miracles, baby? What happened to the man who got a Bible verse tattooed on him because it gave him strength?"
Randy glared back up at him and remained stoic. "That man had his husband stolen from him by that so called God. Excuse him for not believing he would give you back to me, even if only for a few minutes."
John released his hold on Randy's arms and sighed, moving over to sit by him. "Look, Ran, I don't have time to convince you of anything. I need to use my time with you for more important things." He turned his body over and frowned. "What are you doing, baby?"
Randy frowned, skepticism still in his eyes. "Right now? Pretty much just hallucinating here,"
John rolled his eyes. "Randy, I'm serious. What the hell are you doing here? You have two kids at home who need you more than anything. You can't just try to kill yourself and leave them! How could you do that to our babies?"
Randy's face finally registered some emotion and his eyes lowered. He shrugged and mumbled, "I'm not talking to you about this."
"Randy, stop it. Explain it to me because I don't understand. How can you think of putting those kids through another loss of a parent?"
Randy's head jerked back up, tears welling in his eyes now at the disappointment on John's face. "Because I can't do this! I can't do this without you or without who you look like…I can't do this without John! I need him!"
John sighed, sadness on his face. "Baby, I'm still here. No, not in the same way but I still watch over you and the kids all the time. You can do it without me. You have been doing it for months now and you're doing a great job. There's no one you could leave these kids with that would do a better job with them or love them any more than you, Ran."
Randy shook his head and stood up. "I can't deal with this. I can't deal with you talking to me like you're John. John is gone; dead and buried and I am all alone so can you please go away and can I please wake the fuck up!"
John smiled from the bed. "What do you want me to do so I can prove I am your John?"
Randy shrugged and began to pace the room. "I don't want you to prove anything. I want you to go away."
John's smiled widened and he leaned back in the bed. "You will never change, Ran. I don't mind, I guess. I fell in love with your stubborn ass never expecting you to change. You know, I think a part of me knew we would end up together from that first moment I saw you. You were such a cocky shit, walking into OVW like you knew it all. Everyone hated you but not me. I knew behind that smirk and coldness was the most loving man I had ever seen. I saw the laughter in those eyes when all anyone else saw was the cold."
Randy continued to pace the room, avoiding the man on the bed but feeling his body react to his words. John noticed the tension in Randy's shoulders slowly easing and he lifted his body up.
"The first meal we ever shared was burgers, fries and chocolate milkshakes. Chocolate was always your thing. When I got engaged to Liz, you bought me a huge piece of chocolate cake. Every birthday we ever celebrated for you had to have chocolate cake. Even our wedding reception had chocolate cake." John laughed and stood up slowly. "Should I go on with random facts?"
Randy shot him a glare over his shoulder, though the animosity in it had lessened. John crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. "OK, then. What else could I remind you of? How about our first kiss and the disaster that was because of someone's inability to hold his alcohol? Or our first real fight when I didn't tell my parents about us? The fear I felt after that one was something I didn't even feel when I found out how sick I was. Nothing compared to thinking I lost you forever."
John tentatively took a step towards Randy, a small smile on his face. "How about our crazy wedding? Happiest day of our lives, right? And the day we all first met my mini me? How proud I was when you quit smoking…" He raised an eyebrow and frowned. "Though seems that's changed since my demise…"
Randy rolled his eyes and shrugged. "So what?"
"I'm full of memories; I could go all day. Our first camping trip, my first time on a horse, the fact I never got my 1961 Ferrari 250 GT…" John trailed off as a small laugh escaped Randy's lips. He smiled and took another step towards the younger man, reaching out for his hands. "It's me, Ran. I'm here. It's only a dream but it's all we have. Can't you just accept it?"
Randy's expression slowly softened and he lowered his gaze down to their joined hands. "How?"
John shrugged. "These things can't be explained, baby. It's just a gift we were given. I was allowed to speak to you this one time because I have to stop you from making a huge mistake."
Randy's eyes rose back up to meet John's. "You can't. I already did it. The drugs are already in me and if it didn't work this time then I'll just do it again."
John shook his head. "Don't say that. I know you, Randy. I know you better than anyone ever will. There is no way you could take your life knowing there's 2 kids who need you in their lives. You would never quit on your children." He tugged Randy closer, releasing his hands and wrapping his arms around Randy's waist. "Do you remember when we met with Gloria? You were terrified that she would only see you as the man who quit on the marines and would therefore quit on his kids one day. I told you I knew you weren't that kind of man. Don't prove me wrong, Randy. You're going to wake up and go home, do you hear me?"
Randy braced his trembling hands on John's chest and tried to pull away. "I'm scared, John. I'm so angry all the time and when I don't feel anger I feel empty inside. I don't do anything with the kids; I don't want to leave the house, I just sleep all the time…why do they need me around? I'm not even present when I'm standing in a room with them. They don't deserve that! They deserve attention and someone who can focus on a conversation with them and someone who doesn't scream at them and get angry for no reason…"
John held Randy tight to him and shook his head. "Stop it. Stop trying to find reasons for me to accept what you came up here to do; it's not gonna happen! You are putting way too much pressure on yourself, Randy. It's been 5 months! Everyone is entitled to their own way of grieving. Some people get over it faster than others…"
"I will never get over it. I would rather be dead and be with you than stay here, Johnny," Randy let his hands drop and felt John pull him into a hug. He turned his head into John's neck and inhaled deeply, the smell still so familiar and comforting. "I need you so much."
John sighed and held Randy tightly, rubbing his back soothingly. "Baby, if you do this, we still won't be together. That's not the way things work. You have to find the strength to let me go, even if only a little, and go home to our babies. Maybe one day you'll believe that I'm still with you in spirit."
"How can I let you go? You weren't supposed to die, John! You were so healthy all your life! You did nothing wrong, you were such a great man…it's not fair! So many evil people still walking this earth and you die? That's not what's supposed to happen!" Randy lifted his head up, meeting John's eyes. "Aren't you angry? Don't you wonder why you were taken away from us?"
John smiled slowly and nodded. "Of course I was. I would never have wanted to leave you and our babies. It happened, though, Ran. I got sick and I died. It happens to so many good people in this world. There's no explaining it and it's not fair. It makes the people you leave behind question everything and want to do desperate things. All you can do, though, is have faith that they'll know you're in a better place and at peace." His smiled faded and he lifted a hand to Randy's face, running a finger over the smooth skin. "I shouldn't have to be here asking you to not do this. The Randy I loved and married is not a man who would commit suicide and leave the two most important people in the world. He never ran when things got tough. He stood his ground, fought it and defeated it."
"He died when you died," whispered Randy, closing his eyes and letting the sensation of John's caress wash over him.
"No, he didn't. He's still in there." John ran his finger over Randy's lips and smiled. "Don't let me down, handsome. Fight for me and our babies. Trust me; they need you more than anything. You need them, too, Randy."
Randy's eyes opened. "If I stay, am I gonna fuck up?"
John laughed and shrugged. "What do I look like; a psychic or something? I don't know, babe."
"Figured I would ask. Thought maybe God had given you the gift of sight or something," Randy smiled slowly as John laughed.
"Sorry, I know nothing." John wrapped his arm around Randy's neck. "I can tell you what I think will happen, though."
Randy nodded, the smile still on his face. "OK,"
"I think of the two kids, Angel will be the one to give you less gray hairs. He'll be the one to do great in school and go on to pick a respectable, stable career. He won't follow in our footsteps. You probably already knew that, though." John waited for Randy's nod before continuing. "Ally will be our little princess who will always have a question or an answer for everything. She'll do great, mostly because Angel will be pushing her the whole way, but she'll be the one to have the big, crazy dream. I'm thinking movie star or singer. She may even attempt the WWE so beware."
Randy groaned loudly and shook his head. "Great,"
John laughed and stroked the skin on Randy's neck. "As for you, Mr. Orton, I think you will get bored at home after some time and go back to work. You will be even more amazing then than you were before. You may even be better than me one day." John's smile widened as Randy rolled his eyes. "I also think in a few years Cody and Ted will be asking you for parenting advice. There's no question they're meant to have it all. All in all, I think you will be fine, baby. You have so many people who love you. Our families and friends will support you whenever you have a moment like this one where you think you can't go on. Use them and lean on them. Don't ever resort to thinking of hurting yourself ever again."
Randy nodded, pulling John in once more for a hug. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do. I miss you so much."
"I know you do. I miss you all, too. It will get better, Ran. You won't ever forget me but you have to learn to live with what happened. You have to move on, baby. You're an amazing man. Don't ever forget that. Wake up and be the best you can be at everything. Be a great dad, be a great friend and go back to work and show them all how it's done…" John lifted Randy's head and rested their foreheads together. "…and don't close your heart out to love. If it finds you again, Randy, accept it. Don't feel guilty about me."
Randy shook his head. "Stop right there. I can do everything you ask of me but not that. I will never love anyone like I loved you. There will never be anyone else."
"Don't say that. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life alone. I want you to be happy and have the life you thought we were gonna have. I want you to grow old besides someone you love, Randy. I know what we had and you falling in love again won't belittle that in anyway. I was always sure of your love for me and it's because I love you so much that I want you to move on and be happy. I want you to be happy. Promise me, Randy."
Randy closed his eyes as he listened to John's words, tears falling from his eyes now. He slowly nodded. "I promise to leave the option open, OK, but don't expect me acting on it anytime soon."
John smiled and wiped Randy's face clean. "Your stubbornness never ceases to amaze me."
Randy smiled and shrugged. "It's part of my charm."
"You're so humble, honey. It's why I fell in love with you." said John as he laughed. He pulled Randy towards him, their lips meeting for the first time in months. John's kiss was both sweet and sharp, tongue pushing into Randy's mouth, hungry for him. Randy eagerly returned the kiss, clutching John's waist tightly for fear he would disappear. John's hand stroked his neck before moving down his back and under his shirt. Randy shuddered, moving his own hands up and down John's sides. He pulled back, his gaze locking onto John's.
"I miss you so much. Don't leave me,"
John smiled sadly. "I know, baby, but I have to. Believe me, though, when I tell you I will always be with you."
Randy closed his eyes as John moved his lips down to his neck and kissed it gently. Randy turned his head and kissed him again, still holding him tightly. John pulled away, his lips near Randy's ear now.
"Wake up and go home to our babies. Everything's gonna be OK, baby."
Randy's eyes snapped opened and all he saw was darkness. He frowned and lifted his hands, pushing the covers off his head. It was dark even without the covers so he could only assume night had fallen. Turning over to his side slightly, he saw nothing lying beside him and his eyes widened. He raised his hand to his lips and felt them. They felt warm. As he lowered his hands down he was shocked to see them shaking more than they were before.
Randy frowned as the dream came back to him slowly. He looked around the dark room, the moonlight from outside illuminating only so much. His hand reached blindly towards the nightstand besides the bed for his cell phone but couldn't find it. He remembered dropping it out in the living room but making the trip seemed exhausting. Randy sank back into the bed, his eyes closing tightly as bits and pieces of his dream returned. He could practically still smell and taste John. His smell, his taste, nothing had changed.
Randy's eyes opened as he remembered John's words. He had promised the older man he would go home and he intended to keep his promise. Randy swung his legs over slowly and stood up off the bed, bracing himself. His legs felt shaky as if he'd been in a coma for years. He walked slowly into the living room, his body protesting with each step. A lamp from a table came into view and Randy turned it on, closing his eyes momentarily from the glare of the sudden light. His phone came into view and he stumbled over to it as quickly as his wobbly legs would carry him.
Randy slid the bar on his iPhone and scrolled through his list of contacts until coming to one name. Ignoring the time of night, he pressed the call button and rose the phone to his ear, listening to it ring and praying the call was answered.
"Are you kidding me? It's 2 in the morning, Randy."
Randy closed his eyes, thanking John for looking over him and letting the call be answered. "Cody, please, I need your help. I did something stupid."
"What else is new?" answered his best friend, annoyance evident in his voice. Randy sighed and sank into the large sofa. "Cody, I'm serious. I took like 10 oxycontin pills. I don't know why I'm not dead but I need you to come…"
"Are you shitting me, Randy?" worry began to creep into Cody's voice.
"No, Cody, I swear. I'm not home. I came out to Sherwood Forest and rented a cabin and I took the pills. I'm sorry, Cody. Please, you have to come get me. I can't drive to the hospital; I'm all shaky."
"Oh my God, call 911, Randy! By the time I get there…" pure panic had settled into Cody's voice and Randy quickly stopped him. "No! No, I don't want it all over the news. I don't want anyone to find out like this. Please, you come get me, Cody."
"OK, I will, Ran, I promise. I'll be there as soon as I can. If you feel like you're fading, though, please call an ambulance!"
Randy nodded, trying to calm his body down. "OK, just hurry, Codes, please."
"I will, I will!"
Cody ended the call and Randy let the phone drop from his hand. He would make it. He wouldn't break his promise to his husband. He took a deep breath and looked around the room for something to keep his mind calm until Cody arrived. The shaking in his body wouldn't stop and tingling in his legs was worsening. Randy sighed as he realized the drugs were causing havoc in his body. He slowly got up and gingerly made his way to the bathroom. He had never been a fan of throwing up but this time he had no choice. Randy lowered his weary body to the floor of the bathroom and reluctantly put his finger in his mouth, trying to activate his gag reflex. It took a few tries but he eventually did and bought up everything in his stomach. After a few minutes, he leaned back and closed his eyes, praying once more to John and God that he had removed as much of the toxins from his system and that Cody would get there soon.
