Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are those in E L James's Fifty Shades Trilogy, therefore they remain her property. The plot and themes in this story are those of the author. The author is in no way affiliated with James. No copyright infringement intended.
Clumsy me! I thought I had uploaded this chapter yesterday but coming back here today showed me that I hadn't! Silly, silly me!
Currently working on the next chapter - almost finished but just need to check it over for dates etc., you'll probably understand why after reading this chapter or when reading the next.
Apologies for any errors, I have read through it but sadly I was surrounded by irritating people while I was trying to check! Urgh, I hate real life!
Much love to you and I hope you enjoy! :) x
You're made of steal. You can do this. You're a great driver, Annie. I have faith in you…
Ray's words of support echo through my mind; the ones he offered me on the morning of my driving test. He took me out for a quick refresher just before I went in, helping to quash my anxiety and reassuring me that I could do it. I need his words now. I need more than his words; I need my Daddy sitting beside me egging me on and pointing out what I need to do, and tell me how on Earth I'm supposed to do this without ending up in the emergency room.
The basics are fresh in my mind – how to start and stop; how to shift, and how to park – you just don't forget that sort of thing, but everything else is a complete blur.
My whole body is shaking uncontrollably, a mix of adrenaline whizzing through my veins and being terrified to the point of crying. My breathing is pretty much non-existent, enough to hyperventilate or pass out.
How is it possible to be this scared of the road, and the responsibility of driving such a beast of a car? I've done this before, albeit a few times but still enough. So why am I nervous?
A side of me believes that this is solely because I've been confined to the back seat for a long time. The longest I've gone without driving prior to this was just a few weeks, between getting my license and Ray buying Wanda for me. I miss my Wanda. I've missed her since Christian took her away from me. Even more so when he replaced her with the submissive special! I haven't driven properly, and frequently, since before I met him. The odd times I have but more often than not Taylor is the one in charge, unless Christian decides to obtain control again. He's never one to submit control for too long. I feel suffocated with his control over my driving; so many pregnant women are allowed to drive, and do so successfully and safely – doesn't he trust me?
It's been happening for a while, not just since you got knocked up! I nod my head in agreement; he'd be happier if I was wrapped up in cotton wool and walked around on a leash for the rest of my life. He has to meet me halfway.
Leaving the gates of our home I glance up to rear-view mirror, taking a last look at the house and the iron closing behind me. I freeze as I hit the road; is it worth it? Is trying to prove myself worth the hassle and arguing that will ensue?
Get it together! You've made your choice, stick by it. He can't tell you you're in charge but only allow you to do so when he wants… that's not how it works!
Slamming my foot on the gas I'm propelled forward, thrown back in my seat while my fingers grip the wheel and steer the metal to the right. Fuck! It's been too long to remember that the R8 needs just a feather of a touch to sky rocket to ninety! Immediately releasing my foot from the gas and finding the brake I lower my speed, zooming towards the freeway. Feeling the vibrations underneath me I settle a little, relishing in the buzz whispering through me. The buzz is incredible. I feel like I'm floating.
I mingle in with the other cars, though not successfully or unidentified. How many sports cars do you see around Seattle? Hitting the pedal again, less aggressive than before, I stir that buzz inside me. Reaching top speeds I start to weave in and out of lanes, overtaking the slower drivers. Some flip me off but I ignore them, in seconds I'm gone and they're a distant memory. The sooner I get there the better.
Shifting gear is proving a little difficult for such a sleek car, but it's me that's the problem. The Saab would have been a better choice, I had more experience with that car, but I guess impulsive decisions rely on taking whatever options are available. Besides, Christian's probably hidden those keys from me, probably for this reason exactly! He sure as hell is never going to leave keys lying around again after this. I'd be surprised if he even allows me to have a key to the house!
The realisation and horror of what I've done comes from the loud ringing of 'Your Love is King' from inside my purse, on the passenger seat next to me. Even over the blaring radio it rings loud, overtaking all other noise. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Turning down the stereo I reach out for my purse, trying to keep my eyes on the road and steer the car in a straight line to avoid the other cars testing my patience.
Ignore it. He'll go away eventually… No he won't! He'll be pissed anyway, but if I ignore him it will make matters a million times worse. I definitely do not have the energy for that.
I fumble around inside my purse trying to find it, freezing for a second when I finally reach it. Feeling it vibrating and flashing in my hand I regretted answering the millisecond I hooked it up to the sound system and hit speakerphone.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?!"
His voice blares down the speaker to me, causing my ear drums to shake and rumble.
"Hi…"
"Hi? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? What the hell do you think you're doing Anastasia?"
"I'm driving. I thought you would have already worked that out. Surely that's the reason why you're calling me?"
"Cut the fucking attitude. Damn it!" I jump hearing a loud bang. I wonder what's broken now. "Anastasia, you have sixty seconds to get off at the next exit and get your ass back here, or else."
"No."
He pauses for a second, exhaling loudly down the receiver. I can feel his temper rising.
"If you come back now I will pretend that you haven't been this fucking reckless. Why the fuck have you done this?"
I pause for a second, thinking of what to tell him. "You told me to go. You told me to leave you alone, so that's what I've done."
"Fucking hell Ana, I meant go and read a fucking book, get something to eat or sleep for all that I care. I did not tell you to leave the fucking house, or steal the fucking car!"
I can hear him pacing as he shouts at me, his sneakers stomping hard against the wooden floors. I can imagine him running his hand through his hair as he grows yet more irate with me.
"It's impossible to steal something that's in your possession. This is my car."
"And I've told you how many times that I do not want you driving? How many times is it going to take before you take the fucking hint?"
"If all you're going to do is shout at me then I'm going to hang up."
"You can hang up, but I'll still find you." His voice lowers, calms almost, as his tongue flicks out his stern words. "When I find you I will tie you to the fucking bed if I have to. I cannot believe how reckless you are being."
"I won't tell you where I'm going." I whisper to him, overtaking the red saloon in front.
"You don't have to. I'm tracking you."
All of the cars have trackers in them. Fuck!
"You have fifteen seconds to take the next exit. I mean it Anastasia."
I scowl at my phone. I'll do whatever the hell I like! I slam on the gas; bypassing the exit with speed and feeling a whirl of adrenaline zoom through my stomach.
"Are you fucking insane?!" He shouts at me, his tone full of anger and spite.
Fuck off! I keep focused on the road, ignoring him and biting down on my tongue to stop me from answering him. It'll only make matters worse. What's the point in aggravating the situation any more than it already is?
"If you don't reduce your speed right this second I will call the fucking cops on you!"
"You wouldn't dare!" I exhale, laughing at him and his audacity.
"Try me. You're carrying my child inside you, how can you do something so stupid?"
"Your child?"
"Ana –"
"No. You've said enough." I bite back at him. It's only ever our child when I'm behaving.
"Ana, come home. Now."
"I will come home when I'm ready."
"I swear to fucking God –"
"I'll see you when I return."
With shaking fingers I hang up, ripping my phone from the holster and throwing it across the car.
"Asshole!"
I scream out, smacking my fist in the centre of the wheel, just avoiding the horn.
I ignore him as he tries calling me again, his ringtone blaring at me. Turning up the radio to the max I'm able to drown him out. I cannot believe him. Does he think I'm his child?
He's tracking me. He'll find me before I have the chance to do anything.
Fight or Flight.
"Excuse me ma'am!"
Please don't recognise me! I cross my fingers, freezing to the spot as I hear him calling behind me and running up to meet my side. I spin on my heel to face him just as he reaches me.
"You forgot your valet ticket." He mouths to me, out of breath and wary. Tugging at his waistcoat he avoids eye-contact. He's no more than eighteen, probably a part-time job to fund his arcade addiction.
"Oh… thank you." I accept the card, shoving it into my purse and attempting to walk past him but he stops me again, jolting in front of me and blocking my path.
"Name? I need a name for the books."
Name?
"Just a surname if it's easier." He widens his eyes sensing my awkwardness and unwilling air to give out my name. He'll find me in seconds if I do. I don't know how he does it, but he will.
"Adams." I blurt out. "My surnames Adams." I shuffle on my toes, avoiding his eyes as I give him my Mom's new surname. I couldn't use Grey or Steele.
"Thank you. Have a nice day."
I smile at him, lowering my head and walking off quickly – as quick as I can in my shoes.
I needed to dump the car. I can't let him find me before I have chance to sort this out. I know it's probably caused more hassle than it's worth by going about this the way I have, but I need to do it. Something inside me in compelling me to do this, no matter the consequences.
I drove around for a little while, taking note of my surroundings – unfamiliar surroundings, in a part of Seattle I have seen for only a glimpse. I deliberated with dropping the car off at Kate's, until I realised that bringing her in on this will only add to the drama. A repeat of thanksgiving is not wanted in a hurry! I passed restaurants and supermarkets; an abundance of parking lots that I could leave the car in and make my head start to my office, but they were all too close to Grey Publishing. He will know in seconds where I am heading, so I drove further and further away. I drove until I hit some small, cheap hotel whose name I can't remember. I settled the car into the only free parking bay, between a Chevy and a battered old Hyundai. My car fitted in well, not as if it stuck out like a sore thumb or anything! I stepped into reception and used their restroom before heading out again. They all stared at me, everything about me odd to them – flashy clothes and super expensive sports car to match. Needless to say I was relieved thinking that I had got away without being harassed until the valet came pounding after me.
My BlackBerry has yet to stop ringing since I hung up on him, calls from both Christian's phone and probably Taylor's, though I haven't got his number saved so I can't be sure. Christian's probably commandeered his phone in hopes that I will answer if I don't recognise the number. Think again Grey! Turning off my phone I push it into my purse, stashing it away into one of the side pockets. I know he'll do some of that stalker tracking things on that next!
Hailing for a taxi was easy, a few hurling themselves towards me probably all of them taking in my appearance and realising that I might be likely to tip. I ran and slipped into the back of the one that reached me first.
"Now, where's a lovely young thing like you headin'?"
I look up to see the driver, an older gentleman staring at me. At first his words are spine-chilling and enough to make you want to crawl back out, but looking at him he's harmless. He reminds me of Ray, his blue eyes welcoming and friendly.
"Fifth. Please."
He smiles at me, setting off and starting the metre, before looking up at me again.
"That's an awfully long way to go Miss. Could take some time and you look in a bit of hurry."
"I know, but please can you go as fast as possible?" He squints his eyes in concern, "I'll tip double the fare if you!"
"Coming right up!"
Twenty nine minutes later I'm finally in the lift up to my office floor, bargaining with security to stay on site until I'm finished. They were all 'Yes, Mrs Grey', something that I crave after today. I crave people doing what I want for a change, and not being the one on the other end of the scale and having orders barked at me.
As Christian predicted it is the closing of day and pretty much everyone has left. Heading inside from the sidewalk took a little while, trying to side-step my colleagues leaving for the day. Hannah was surprised to see me returning, offering to stay behind to help but I shooed her away, telling her that I'm fine and to head off home. I was hoping to see Danielle on my travels, probably to take a swing at her for doing this. I had faith and trusted her, giving her the benefit of doubt on the off-chance that what she did it because she was frightened of Hyde, but now I have no idea. Was she in on it all along? Have I been played for a fucking fool?
Maybe Christian's right, maybe I do have a lot to learn and I shouldn't give second chances? I hope not… thoughts of living a lonely life flick through my mind.
Heading out to the lobby floor outside my office I enter into peace and tranquillity, my usually bustling floor streaming with talking, the tapping away of keyboards and the wailing of the copiers, quiet and dead. It's weird being here when it's empty. The last time I remember being held back this late was… well, it was that time with Hyde in the kitchen.
Shake it off. He's in custody. He's out of the picture… almost.
"Whoa! Mrs Grey, here to see me?"
Turning back from my office I meet eye to eye with Mark, grinning from ear to ear. He's clearly on his way out, with his jacket zipped up over his sweater and shirt combo, and his briefcase in hand.
"Of course. Can't stay away from you." I smile weakly, no where near enough to convince him but he plays along, ignoring it.
"I knew it. You think I don't see the way you stare at me from across the floor?" Raising his eyebrow over his dark eyes I hold back my grin, he has that lovable hilarity about him. "When you gonna tell your old man that that little bambino's mine?"
"About the same time you come out as straight."
"Ah, I suppose I can deal with that hot-shot of yours thinking that your alien is his. Can't have my reputation tainted anyway!"
I swat him with my arm as I pass him, heading into my office and dumping my purse on the chair in front of my desk.
"What you doing here? I thought you left earlier?" Mark comes in behind me, slouching against the door frame as I shuffle out of my jacket. His arms folded around his chest and one leg crossed around the other at his ankle.
"I did, but I've got some things that need dealing with."
"Need me to stay?"
"No, I'm fine. You head off; it's a long day otherwise." I assure him, smiling as I tug at my ponytail, tightening it and smoothing the fly a ways from my face.
"I don't mind staying if you need me. Anything for a lovely lady like yourself."
"You do realise that flattery won't get you a raise?" I smirk at him, pushing my hands to my hips.
"I know, but a guy can try right?" Pulling back from the door frame he stretches, pushing his back out showing the strains of sitting in front of desk for eight hours a day. "Now, if you're sure you don't need me, I have a date with two gorgeous guys who have the key to my heart."
"Two?" I twist my face in shock. Last time I checked he was committed to some younger Scottish guy. Harry?
"Oh yeah, they are just amazing." He pauses for a second, the grin from before creeping across his face again before putting me out of my misery. "Yeah, Ben and Jerry are elusive and hard to get, but I'm sure I can pass on your number to them when I'm finished."
"Ah, don't burden yourself. I've got a couple of Ben and Jerry's hanging around away." Ben and Jerry's and Ana sounding like a great combination right this second, though adding Christian to the mix makes it perfect!
"Can tell… Jeez, you're getting fatter each time I look at you!"
"You're pushing it Griffin!" I call out to him as he turns, roaring with laughter as he walks across the floor towards the lifts.
"Oh, Ana!" Spiralling on his heel like the exorcist he shouts back at me, jogging to my door once more and poking his head around the side. "Forgot to tell you, Butler called for you."
"Who?" Slumping into my chair I glance up at him from my computer, waiting for it to come on.
"Anita Butler. You're trying to sign her up to earn a shitload of money?"
"Oh, yeah course!" The author of the manuscript I haven't even started!
"She called to arrange the meeting to discuss contracts and what not. Do you want the good news or not so great news?" Tossing back his shoulder length chocolate mane from his face he examines my face, neither of his options appealing to me.
"It doesn't matter; it isn't going to change anything."
"She's able to come down from New York to meet with us, which is good. I mean, stops you and the alien having to fly out there. But, she's only coming down to Portland. No shifting her on it."
"Portland?"
"Yeah, she says that she's able to meet there because she's got family stuff to deal with, and she's hoping to kill two birds, blah blah blah."
"It makes sense. Did she say when she'd be coming over?" Whirling my mouse around and jump-starting my desktop I open up my online calendar, ready to pencil it in.
"Monday at four."
"This Monday?"
"Yeah, problem?"
"I have a doctor's appointment, but I can move it." I open up the memo and type in to cancel my appointment with Dr Greene. It kills me to change the dates, Blip should come first, but Grey Publishing needs this deal. I need this deal.
"I can get a team together if you want, we can deal with it." Mark offers to me with sincerity.
"No. It's fine. I'll need you to come down with me though, you free?"
"Sure thing. Signed, sealed and delivered."
"Almost! We've got to get her autograph on the dotted line first!"
Saying good-bye once again he manages to leave the floor and head down to reception, leaving me in a peaceful, quiet haze once more. I fire up my emails, preparing a message to our IT manager, rather than heading down the two floors to meet with him. IT always stay behind longer than everyone else, so I know I will catch him.
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: URGENT
Date: 30th November 2011 17:58:22PM
To: Jeremy Coleman
I need the details for Ms Danielle Wilkes's personal area – her log in number and her password.
ASAP.
Yours,
Anastasia Grey
Editor, Grey Publishing Ltd.
I resist the urge to turn on my phone and check how many missed calls and irate messages I have. This is going to be one hell of a headache when it all hits the fan. Christian is never going to let this one down.
I mess around with my older messages, deleting the ones that are old and boring, passing the time until I heard the ping of my inbox.
From: Jeremy Coleman
Subject: Breach of Confidentiality
Date: 30th November 2011 18:05:10PM
To: Anastasia Grey
Mrs Grey,
I am sorry to inform you but I cannot perform that task.
I am only authorized to give out that information to senior management.
Yours,
Jeremy Coleman
IT Support Manager, Grey Publishing Ltd.
"You have got to be kidding me!" I push out through gritted teeth, typing out a quick response full of anger and venom.
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Orders
Date: 30th November 2011 18:08:45PM
To: Jeremy Coleman
I will make this clear to you. I am senior management, which therefore gives me the right to ask for this information as well as the right to obtain it.
Need I also remind you that my husband owns this company?
I would suggest that you send over the information I asked for as soon as possible before I start advertising for a new IT support manager who can fulfil and undertake tasks such as this.
Anastasia Grey
Editor, Grey Publishing Ltd.
From: Jeremy Coleman
Subject: Duly noted.
Date: 30th November 2011 18:11:56PM
To: Anastasia Grey
Mrs Grey,
Please accept my apologies. However, Mr Grey gave strict instructions that such tasks be undertaken with his approval.
With that being said I appreciate and value my role here, therefore as requested the information for Ms Wilkes's work area is below.
I would like to add that it would be appreciated if you could pass this on to Mr Grey: that I have followed your instruction.
[MS DANIELLE K. WILKES]
LOG IN: DKW55120001
PASSWORD: samann13
Yours,
Jeremy Coleman
IT Support Manager, Grey Publishing Ltd.
Smiling to myself I send a quick message to HR, informing them to go ahead with the removal of Danielle from employment here. The papers have been filed since Christian issued them when we found out about her connections with Hyde, but with my stupid decision to keep her on they were filed away, on the off-chance that they might be needed. Who'd have thought we'd need them so soon?
Sending the message I log out of my computer, signing back in again with Danielle's details. I hack into her emails first, surely if there's anything to find it will be in there? She's linked to that bitch somehow, more than her just being the daughter of one of her employees. She gave her the use of her card for fucks sake!
"Oh my fucking days!"
I sigh, opening up the emails and finding over a thousand emails in her inbox. Does she not know how to delete old ones? I'm going to be here all night if I have to sift through every single message!
Picking up some of the tips from Kate's master class of computer skills, the one she gave to me during college, I hit search and start looking for something incriminating.
I start by typing in Jack Hyde, relieved to see 'no search results found' flash in front of me. At least that's something!
"Elena?"
I type in her name and press enter.
[No Search Results Found]
"What the fuck?"
I strum my fingers on the keyboard, tapping furiously.
"Mrs Lincoln?" I whisper to myself while typing in her full name.
[No Search Results Found]
"Jeez, you have got to be kidding me!"
I swing around in my chair, pushing my hands to my head and hoping to draw inspiration from somewhere.
What else is there?
"Come on Ana, think!"
Jumping out of my chair I begin to pace the room, walking around my desk and wracking my brains. What would she go under? I know there has to be something here! She hasn't deleted any emails; she's got to have left something!
Think…
Think…
Think…
"Ah!" I scream out, running around my desk and kicking my chair out of the way, dropping to my knees in front of the desk.
Reaching up I tap out my eureka moment into the search bar.
[Esclava]
I throw my head back laughing to myself when a stream of emails pop up, listing in front of me. Pulling my chair up behind me and heaving myself up to sit back in it I open the first email, from late September. I scroll right down to the bottom, looking for the signature mark.
Her mother works there, it could be her. I stick my tongue out to my subconscious trying to be logical after seeing the signing off…
E L
"Bingo!"
