Notes: Hope you enjoy this one! Big thanks for all the awesome reviews! Also thanks to guest and anonymous reviewers, since I can't thank you personally. This one took a little longer to write but I really didn't want to split it into two chapters. Hope you like it, feel free to let me know your thoughts.

55 Scars and Bargains

Amara slowly opened her eyes to the morning's light. Leliana lay next to her still sound as sleep. Carefully Amara drew herself up on one elbow to look at the bard's sleeping face. Her eyelashes still clung together slightly from tears. Leliana had cried last night but refused to talk to her. So instead Amara held her all night whispering comforting words tenderly in her ear till her breathing had deepened with sleep. Amara had spent a good amount of the night running their encounter through her head as Leliana slept in her arms. Despite the slight tension at the start they had both wanted each other and both had been aching to make love and she thought it had been going well, until Leliana stopped them going further. Now in the light of the morning, the same thoughts and questions still ran through her head. Gently she lay back down, once again wrapping her arm around Leliana's body. She rested her face behind Leliana's neck, nuzzling into her beautiful flame red hair. Amara waited for her to awaken, dozing occasionally against her body.

Leliana had felt Amara's eyes on her but refused to face the new day so she kept her breathing even stealing a few more moments for herself. Amara had lain back down and once again wrapped her in a protective embrace. She felt safe in her arms, cherished. It had been so long since she felt someone care for her that deeply. Her mind raced. After her actions last night, she dreaded facing the Warden. Amara squeezed her again, she felt herself heave a heavy breath as tears threatened to spill again. Amara heard her and stirred beside her. Strong arms pulled her in closer.

"Oh my dear… tell me what I can do." Amara's voice was barely a whisper. Leliana felt a tender kiss on her shoulder. "I'll do anything, just let me know." Amara's hand found her fingers and wove her own among them. Gently and reassuringly she held her tight.

"Amara…" Leliana's voice shook a little. "I'm sorry… about last night… you must think me fickle or cruel."

"Dearest… you have nothing to be sorry for." She placed another kiss on Leliana's shoulder, relief flooding her to hear the bard's voice once again. "I wanted to be with you and I know you wanted me, but you have every right to change your mind, I don't hold it against you." Amara felt the bard's hand tighten her grip on her fingers. They were silent for a moment before Amara spoke again. "I need to ask you, if it was something I did. I know I had been resisting you… resisting us. I want you know that I desire you… I have for a long time." Leliana turned her body to meet her eyes. Her breath shook as searched the bard's face. "I need you to know I want you and still do. I resisted for the reason we've spoken about, but mainly because I don't want to hurt you. And I think perhaps that is exactly what I've done."

Leliana closed her eyes. Her mind raced and her heart thundered. She had felt their attraction for each other from the moment she stepped out of the Chantry. She felt it grow, day by day despite the Warden's relationship with the witch. The last two days were wonderful, having Amara all to herself, savouring the kisses and the tender touches they shared. Her body delighted in the way the Warden held her close, comforting and safe. Even her resistance had been sweet torture, a wall she enjoyed breaching if even for a moment. Last night, that wall came crashing down and the Warden looked at her with openness and trust, her desire for her bared and unhidden - unrestrained, just like now. Yes, had they made love, it would have hurt seeing Amara go back to the witch. It would have torn her heart to shreds to know she shared herself with another woman other than her. Two years ago, stopping wouldn't have crossed her mind no matter the outcome afterwards. Two years ago she would have considered breaking down the Warden's resistance a victory, but now as Amara laid waiting next to her, she found her own wall between them. She had been broken, two years ago. Marjolaine saw to that. Slowly she healed, but the cracks remained and she wasn't as beautiful or as strong as she used to be.

Leliana had been silent for a while. Amara's heart twisted. She did what she fought so hard not to do - she hurt someone she cared about deeply, a beautiful soul and a beautiful heart that deserved to be loved wholeheartedly and no less. Amara sighed, shutting her eyes tightly. What am I doing? She groaned inwardly. She opened her eyes and found Leliana staring at her.

"Part of the reason I stopped is because I know you and Morrigan are together intimately. I know you care much for her, as much as you care for me. You were right. This… us… will hurt everyone. There would have been a time in the past when that wouldn't have worried me. But now, I'm not the person I used to be." Gently she trailed her fingertips along Amara's jaw, her eyes travelling to her lips. She ached to kiss her one more time. Amara's hand grasped hers, gently caressing it with her thumb. Leliana closed her eyes, how she loved it when Amara did that. She took a steadying breath and opened her eyes once more. She looked at those waiting amber eyes, always patient and always kind whenever they stared at her. "Part of the reason is I haven't been with anyone since Marjolaine betrayed me two years ago. I've spent all this time trying to heal from that." She swallowed hard the lump that had formed in her throat. Tears stung her eyes again. She dared not close them least they spilled. "It both invigorates and frightens me to know you desire me." She saw Amara blink, her mind taking in the words she was saying. "When you touched me last night, I panicked." Amara sat up slightly, her arm reaching to hold her. Leliana caught at it stopping her motion. She thought she saw hurt briefly flash across those amber eyes. She brought Amara's hand to her lips and kissed her palm. "There is something, I want to show you." Leliana sat up. "I didn't want you to discover it on your own last night." She took Amara's hand and slipped it under her shirt. Slowly she guided it upwards along her hips and across to her right lower abdomen. She watched those amber eyes as Amara visibly gasped.

Amara swallowed, her eyes seeing the movement of their hands under Leliana's linen shirt. Small jagged bumps met her fingertips at first before it followed a long line of smooth skin, different in feel to the rest of Lelaina's stomach. Her eyes flew to the bard's face. She found anger there, mixed with shame, hurt and sadness.

"This is from a curved serrated dagger that Marjolaine drove into me, on my last mission with her. The last time I had thought I was loved." Leliana took a shaky breath as she watched Amara's chest rise and fall quickly. She saw anger simmering behind those eyes. Mercilessly she continued. She led Amara's hand up again. It settled just under her sternum. She guided her fingers up a long thin scar that swept across her chest stopping just next to her left breast. "A dagger, held to me..." Her voice shook, along with the rest of her body. She saw Amara close her eyes tightly, squeezing a tear from one of its corners. "I wanted to prepare you before you saw them." Leliana let go of Amara's hand. Reluctantly her hands went to the hem of her shirt. Slowly she eased them up, turning the shirt inside out as it came free over her head. She watched silently while shaking as Amara's eyes travelled down her body, settling on each scar. Her lips trembled slightly as she watched the Warden hold back her tears.

Amara drew near her. Her fingers caressed each one tenderly, whether from a dagger or whip or fingernails. The Warden touched each one gently with love. For the scar Marjolaine gave her, Amara lowered her lips to it giving her the softest kiss she had ever felt on her body. It surprised her how much comfort and healing she felt from the gesture. It also confused her. She was expecting repulsion, shame, rejection… everything she feared would come to pass last night. She did not expect kindness, acceptance or a deep care. Her silence broke. She sobbed and cried harder than she had ever cried before. Warm, strong arms encircled her and pulled her close. Tender fingers ran through her hair. Soft lips kissed her face repeatedly. A heart beat against her chest, stronger and slower than her own racing one.

"My dear… I'll keep you safe… you don't need to be afraid anymore… oh darling…" Amara's gentle words floated around her as she felt herself gathered up and rocked gently. She felt wanted and treasured.

She shook her head wildly as sudden confusion rose up in her mind. "How… can you… still want me?" Her words tore out of her lips in between sobs.

She felt the Warden's soft breath on her. Gently Amara cupped her cheeks while a sincere amber stare met her teary eyes. "Because you are the bravest, strongest and most beautiful person I know." Amara's words touched her deeply assuaging her inner most doubts. More sobs erupted from her chest, as her mind and heart wildly raced. Amara held her tighter, anchoring her and keeping her from flying apart. Leliana grasped those arms back and clung on to the Warden for dear life.

Amara's heart broke for the bard. In all the thinking and questioning she was doing, she never would have guessed how Leliana actually felt. Lovingly she kissed the top of her head and continued to hold her close as she slowly calmed in her arms. She no longer sobbed but the small occasional tapping of her tears still sounded against Amara's pants. She heard Leliana take a deep breath that came out in a long sigh. Blue eyes looked up at her gentle and vulnerable. Slowly she caressed away the tears that streaked down each beautiful cheek. She planted soft kisses on a troubled brow. She pulled the bard in a tighter embrace determined never to let anyone harm her again. She wrapped their entwined bodies with the covers from the bed and for a long time she held Leliana, feeling her body occasionally tremble. Slowly her breathing evened out and Amara felt her heart calm. She watched as Leliana gently nuzzled close against her armour, her hand on her chest as if feeling for the steady beat of her heart. Leliana looked up again, her blue eyes searching hers.

"We near Redcliffe." Amara nodded, knowing they were only a handful of hours away now. "When we return, I won't be able to hold you like this." Leliana went silent for a moment. Amara thought of Morrigan and the complicated mess she was making that would hurt both women she cared about deeply. She closed her eyes and let out an unintended sigh. "You care deeply about her…" Leliana observed in the silence around them. Amara felt herself nod. "Then don't hurt her." Amara's heart thundered and looked down to meet the bard's sad eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you either Leliana. But that's what I'll do if we continue with this… I wish I could be the person that could give you every part of me." She squeezed the bard as her countenance blurred before her. She felt warm calloused fingers wipe at her tears. "I'm so sorry that I'm not."

Sadly Leliana smiled, surprising herself that she could do so. "I know you care about me deeply and that's more than anyone has ever felt for me in years. I'll be ok. It will hurt for a while but then I'll move on I suppose." She closed her eyes as the Warden kissed her brow and cheek tenderly through her tears. Leliana took a shaky breath. "Will you do something for me?"

Amara nodded meeting her eyes. "Anything you want." Leliana's heart ached at the readiness in that stare.

"Hold me till we see the shore." Amara nodded then kissed the top of her head. "Don't let me go till then?"

"I won't." Amara slipped the covers from their bodies and invited Leliana to lie back down. She watched the bard settle her naked body on the bed, her head resting on the pillow as she waited. Amara's fingers found the knots on the side of her armour and gently teased them open. She saw Leliana sit up again and take a deep breath as she pulled the tunic over her head. Her hands then went to the lacing of her pants nimbly untying them then slowly she eased out of the rest of her armour. She met Leliana's eyes and found she returned the same meaningful stare. There was no lust behind those eyes, no fire of passion unquenched. Just trust and need for comfort.

Amara waited, letting the bard's hands and eyes wonder her body as she pleased. Warm fingers gently sought out each line and muscle. With the same tenderness she caressed the scar on her on her shoulder, her eyes curiously asking.

"An arrow, in defence of the Keeper." Amara's voice was soft. Leliana's hand wondered down to the sides of her abdomen touching another scar. Again she wordlessly asked.

"Darkspawn blade, from the beacon tower." Her hands wondered down further to the jagged scar on her hip. "A blade, in defence of the Keeper."

Leliana moved her hand down her thigh, stopping at deep scar on the side of it caressing it gently. "An arrow, from Howe's men." Amara's voice cracked a little making the bard look up suddenly. Gently she removed her hand from it, instead lovingly cupping the Warden's jaw with both hands. She stared into those amber eyes that she loved so much and found a deep seated pain, almost hidden by courage and strength. Gently their lips touched in a soft deep kiss that brought comfort. Both she and Amara felt a thrum go through them. It was a healing kiss as much as it felt like it was the last kiss they would ever share. Their tears ran freely down both their faces and when the kiss ended they could taste the salt of them in their mouths. Slowly they parted only to come together in a close embrace under the covers. Amara's arms enveloped her protectively like she was the most precious thing in the world. Leliana closed her eyes, her body melting against the Warden's warm hold. They stayed that way, in each other's arms till the first buildings of Redcliffe passed by the small window on the cabin wall.

Zevran climbed the castle's steps quickly then entered the double doors that preceded the main hall. He found Alistair by the hearth conversing with the Bann. Both looked ragged from lack of sleep.

"They're back and it looks like they have the Circle mages with them." Zevran's voice rang through the vast space. The Bann closed his eyes in relief, visibly faltering a little.

"Thank the Maker!" He looked across to Alistair with a weak smile. "Maybe we can get him back after all."

"I never doubted it Teagan." Alistair smiled just as relieved as the Bann. He looked across at Zevran. "I'll let Morrigan and Wynne know." Zevran left the hall to find the Warden and more specifically a certain luscious bard. It piqued his curiosity to know whether there was noticeable difference in the way both women acted in each other's company. He got there in time to see both women step on to the dock.

Leliana looked at Amara, their eyes locking for a moment before she gently let go of her arm, letting her fingertips linger on the leather beneath them as they parted. "I'm going to Bella's I could use a drink. I'll see you later." She gave Amara a small smile that twisted the Warden's heart.

"Ok my dear." Amara watched Leliana walk away for a long while, seeing her shoulders heave and her arms wrapping about herself. A lump formed in her throat and desperately she took a steadying breath. Blade looked up at her, his head cocking to the side slightly. She patted between his ears fondly, staring into those deep brown eyes. "Blade… follow, comfort." Her voice cracked a little as she fought the sting in her eyes. Blade licked her hand then resolutely followed the bard.

The First Enchanter came to Amara's side. He surveyed the village around him. "So few are here."

"This village has suffered horrendously First Enchanter." Amara felt herself regain composure. "We have defended it as best we could but the danger has not passed yet." She met the Enchanter's aging gaze. "Please follow me to the castle. Wynne waits for us as does our mage." Irving nodded and followed the Warden, his four mages following after them. Alistair and the Bann met them in the hall. Her fellow Warden carefully brought the First Enchanter to speed.

"It sounds much like a Greed demon. However did you keep it from resurfacing all this time?" Iriving rubbed his bearded chin contemplatively.

"A powerful sleeping draught." A deep velvety voice reached Amara's ears. She looked up seeing Morrigan crossing the hall to them. Her heart thundered in her chest as the witch's presence wrapped around her. She took a shaky indrawn breath at the feeling. Morrigan's golden eyes flitted towards her, lingering for the briefest moment before taking her attention back to the Circle mages before her. "So far it has kept the boy asleep. Though I would expect its effects will be fading shortly."

"Then there's no time to waste. Take us to him. We will call for you all as soon as everything is prepared." The Enchanter's eyes found Amara once more. "As I said before, we only have one attempt at this and only one mage may enter to battle the demon." His eyes flitted to the scantily clad witch and then to Wynne beside her. "Which will you choose to go Warden?"

Amara walked to the witch, her amber eyes searching her face. She saw Morrigan's breath hitch a little as her hand gently brushed the witch's arm. She met her golden stare. "Morrigan's mind is the most resistant to a demon's allure. She will enter the Fade." A small smile lifted the corner of the witch's mouth her head inclining in a small nod of agreement. Alistair and the Bann led the Circle mages into Connor's room leaving the Warden and the witch alone.

"You are back." The witch sighed out her words, her arms awkwardly restraining herself from reaching for the Warden. Amara's heart thundered at the sight of her. It had seemed like an age since they were last together.

"Yes, my heart. I am." Amara smiled, gently reaching for one of the witch's hands. They touched as Amara's fingers curled around Morrigan's smallest digit.

Morrigan looked down and smiled her heart hammering as the Warden continued her soft caress. "Your presence has been missed." She kept her voice light.

"Oh?" Still smiling Amara tilted her head to the side, her brow rising. "It's only been a couple of days."

"It feels longer than that." Morrigan's voice dropped almost to a whisper. Amara stepped closer to the witch, finding her eyes glistening as they darted away to avoid her stare.

"Morrigan?" Amara frowned with worry. Gently she cupped the witch's jaw finding a slight resistance against her.

Morrigan eventually met her eyes. "Oh blast it!" She huffed, her strong slender fingers grasping the sides of Amara's face as she pulled the Warden in for a long hungry kiss. Amara returned that kiss with fervour, opening her mouth to the witch's searching tongue. Vaguely Amara heard the back of her chest plate scrape sharply against the castle's stone wall as the witch pressed her against it.

She felt Morrigan's hands run along the curve of her neck and through her hair making her entire body hum with her presence. Amara grasped her waist tightly, pulling the witch's body against her harder. Her hands wondered down her firm round ass then along the back of a strong thigh as she drew one of Morrigan's legs up against her hip. The witch smiled through their kiss grabbing at Amara's shoulders for support as she hitched her body up against the Warden letting Amara take her full weight. They kissed hard and desperately.

"Oh Maker's breath!" Alistair's voice rang clearly through the hall. "Do the two of you ever stop sucking faces?" Amara looked over to him and chuckled finding distress written all over his face.

Morrigan followed her stare, her eyes rolling. "Avert your eyes little boy, least you want to go blind." Golden eyes went back to Amara hungrily, her chest still heaving with excitement.

"Well I would if I didn't have to tell you that the mages are ready." He walked away from them shaking his head in disbelief.

"Hmm… we better go my dear." Amara smiled, her heart thundering as she gently lowered Morrigan's feet back to the ground. Morrigan cleared her throat and straightened her robes.

"We shall continue this discussion later Warden." Mischievously her eyes twinkled as she walked ahead of the Warden feeling her lover's hand resting on the small of her back. They entered the boy's room and found the five mages chanting in a circle around the lyrium vessel. A cushioned chair next to it awaited the witch. Amara gently grasped her hand before she stepped into the circle.

"Be safe dear Sorceress." Amara's amber eyes locked with her golden stare.

"I shall." Without further delay she stepped into the circle and sat herself down on the chair. Amara paced the outside of the circle nervously as she watched her lover close her eyes.

Morrigan gasped as her body jolted upon the chair. She looked all about encountering thick yellow mist about her. She stood up and unhitched her staff from her back. Ghostly figures of villagers walked around her hopelessly lost. Some cried and others went about their day to day lives not knowing any better. She walked to in one direction keeping her senses strained and sharp against the presence of demons.

She heard a deep voice call out ahead of her. "Connor! Connor, where are you son?" As the mist parted before her she found the Arl pacing in what looked like his study. He's eyes were vague, not seeing her, not really seeing anything.

She focused her mind upon him. "Eamon?"

He looked right at her. "You there! Have you seen my son?" He rubbed his eyes in frustration. "This blasted fog keeps me from seeing clearly. Just when I catch sight of him he disappears again."

"Do you know where you are?" Morrigan asked curiously.

Eamon shook his head. "What is this infernal place?"

"This is the Fade." Morrigan arched a brow watching realisation dawn on the man before her.

"The Fade? Am I dead?" The Arl paled despite being just about transparent. Morrigan shook her head. "Why can't I find my son?"

"Because, you can no more navigate the Fade than your own dreams. I however, can. Rest easy old man… or not. I will find your son and the demon that covets him." With that she turned from him and continued on through a winding passage.

A little boy laughed just ahead. She readied her staff. He was running about his room playing. His eyes found her making him frown. "What are you doing here? No one is supposed to be here." The boy grew distressed. Morrigan sighed. "You're the one that made father ill aren't you?"

"Run along a play a little longer little boy. I have a demon to hunt." Morrigan shooed at him impatiently, knowing she could not rescue the boy without defeating the demon first.

"No I won't let you hurt Father!" The boy's eyes rolled back before he roared out his anger at her, his voice grating unnaturally in her ears. The boy collapsed in a heap before transforming into a grey skinned female with horns. Morrigan's eyes narrowed before a smug smile came to her lips. She blasted the demon with a cone of cold slowing her movement down significantly. She followed it with a spell of Winter's Grasp, completely arresting it. The demons eyes bore into her with annoyance before it shattered her spell. Morrigan blasted it with lightning that crackled sparks all over its body.

"Clever little witch." The demon looked at her appraisingly much like woman showing desire for her unabashedly then vanished into a shimmering stream of orange light. Morrigan was alone once more. She continued walking. She made her way through another winding passage way this one thick with ghostly apparitions. Morrigan felt the chill of them as they walked straight through her. As the way widened before her she heard another accusation hurled at her.

"You! Why do you continue hunting me?" The boy stood before her angrily. "Why are you trying to stop me?" Morrigan's eyes narrowed, her impatience getting the better of her.

"Enough of these games. Give me what I want!" She gripped her staff in both hands.

"Trespasser! I will drive you out!" The boy's voice was an unnatural mixture of human and beast. He transformed into the demon before her once more catching her arm with a ball of lightning. Morrigan flew backwards with the impact as the numbing sparks spread across her body.

Amara watched worriedly as Morrigan's body tensed then shuddered. She took a step toward the witch but Wynne quickly caught her arm pulling her back.

"You cannot help her child." The Enchanter's eyes were grave. "Morrigan is alone in this." Amara twisted her arm free of the mage's grasp and turned away almost seething with uneasiness.

"She is strong." She forced calm on herself. Repeating the words over and over again soundlessly as she paced about the room.

Morrigan got up quickly grasping her arm. She hurled a ball of ice at the demon in return hitting it square in the chest. The demon glowered at her before flinging fire ball towards the witch. Morrigan dove out of the way, finding cover behind a twisted pillar. She waited three heartbeats before stepped out and blasted the demon with another cone of cold. The demon screamed as it retreated once more. Morrigan gasped in quick breaths as she straightened back up. Determinedly she focused her mind again, slowing the rapid beat of her heart. She continued on.

She came to an open cavern and warily she looked about.

"You are known to us Witch." The demon's voice echoed all around the vast space. Morrigan stood in the centre of the hall looking about warily. One by one, replicas of the demon surrounded her. "We know you even better than you know yourself." One laughed hauntingly. "Daughter of Asha'bellanar…" said another. "You are both cut from the same cloth." Demons continued to taunt her. Morrigan turned about trying to discern which if not all of them was the one she needed to fight.

"You may have known my mother, but you do not know me." Morrigan defiantly spoke to the demons around her.

"Oh? Do you not desire power, beyond reckoning? Crave knowledge of secrets and rituals long faded from your world?" One demon in particular addressed her now while the others stared at her knowingly.

"Do you not want the strength and magnificence to slay all your enemies and crush every opponent you encounter?" It continued as Morrigan's heart thundered. All those things were indeed something she wanted. The demon stepped close to her, brushing her lips with its warm, sweet breath.

"Don't you want it all?" The demon seductively dragged out each word while its eyes bored into her. "Your Warden, to look upon no other but you?" The demon lifted her arms opening up circle of swirling smoke between them that cleared to show her the Warden grasping Leliana's waist in a heated moment of desire and tangled limbs. "For her heart to crave no other but you?" The demon's smiled as she gently caressed the witch's chin.

"With my help you can command all the power and love and loyalty you could possibly want from anyone." The demons hand indicated at vision between them. "This will never come to pass if you choose." Morrigan saw Leliana cry out as the Warden took her hard. Her heart thundering, Morrigan tore her eyes away from the vision. She found the demon smiling, standing so close to her. "Take my offer. You won't regret it I assure you. I can give you the world and more. Your mother took a similar offer, so very long ago and I can make you stronger than Asha'bellanar herself."

At the mention of her mother the witch's eyes narrowed. A great ball of flames erupted from her hands, hurling the demon away from her. "I am not Flemeth! And I know better than to bargain with a demon." Without further delay she blasted another great ball of flames at the demon, its shocked expression twisting into a scream of pain as the fire consumed its writhing body. Flames continued to stream from Morrigan's hands till she watched the demon's body reduce into a pile of ash. She snorted. "You actually thought I could be so easily swayed." Smugly she turned her back and found the portal that led her back to the waking world.

With a gasp Morrigan opened her eyes. Her chest heaving as she came back into full consciousness. Her hands gripped the chair's arms by her side turning her knuckles white. She saw Amara's head swivel towards her, utter relief flooding her Warden's face. Slowly one by one the mages around her stopped chanting breaking the spell that kept the Warden out. Amara rushed to her side and held her tight before searching her face.

"It is done, Warden." Morrigan took a steadying breath. Gently she grasped Amara's shoulders as the Warden helped her to her feet. Her eyes found the Bann and the Arlessa. "When the boy awakens, he will be himself again." Slowly with the Warden's help, she walked out of the boy's chamber. Silently she stole a glance at the Warden's face and noticed she looked younger and well rested. The demon's vision haunted her suddenly and she wondered if she made the best choice. She her legs suddenly felt like they were laden, she stumbled a little. The Warden frowned with worry as her strong arms steadied her.

"My heart?" Amara caught the witch just as she fainted. Sudden sweat misted her creased brow. "Morrigan?" She shook the witch desperately trying to rouse her. Golden eyes opened briefly and looked at her.

"Are you still my Warden?" Morrigan's voice barely carried to her ears. Her golden eyes rolled back as their lids shut.

"I am my love." Amara shook her again, desperately wanting her to know. "Wynne!" She bellowed into the hall bringing the enchanter rushing to her side.