Enjoy!


Sirius sat in the old armchair staring out the dirty window. There was a light snow falling on the already snow covered ground. He longed to venture outside. He had spent the last few weeks confined to the shack and it was beginning to drive him insane.

He knew that it was too risky to leave the old dingy house. Unlike in the fall when he could easily transform to travel, he was beginning to become too paranoid. He knew that very few people knew of his ability, however, he also knew that Harry's guardian was one of those few. He wouldn't put it past Severus to make the Ministry aware.

He wouldn't take that risk. He wouldn't do that to his godson. He knew that in order to see the boy he had to stay put.

He ran a hand down his face as he stood up, abandoning the armchair. He began pacing the small room.

It was Christmas Eve.

Every year that he had spent the holiday in Azkaban he had promised himself that as soon as he was released he would spend the day with Harry. He would shower the child with presents. They would visit James and Lily. He didn't know if Harry had ever been to the graveyard to see his parents, but if he hadn't, Sirius wanted to be the one to take him. It was important to him for reasons that he couldn't even comprehend let alone express.

The thought of James was nearly too much for Sirius to bear. He knew that his friend knew the truth. He knew that he hadn't died thinking that Sirius had betrayed him. Still, Sirius knew it was his fault. He had made the horrible decision. He should have somehow known better. The guilt was nearly enough to kill him.

Harry would be his savior. He would make good through Harry. He would raise his godson the way James and Lily intended for him to do. He would save the boy from the overgrown bat.

He stopped pacing at he glared at the door that led to the secret passage. Just a few more days. He could make it; he had to.


"What do you think of Charlie?" Harry asked as he sat down at the table.

Snape raised an eyebrow in confusion at his young charge. The child had been outside all morning playing in the snow. His cheeks were bright red and his hair was a mess. Snape was absolutely sure that the boy was both cold and tired.

"For my dog," Harry explained.

"I don't recall ever agreeing to allow you to have a dog," Snape replied as he pointed a finger at the small vial next to Harry's plate.

"You said if I get good grades," Harry reminded him, ignoring the vial completely.

"As well as keep yourself out of trouble," Snape responded giving Harry a pointed look. "A task that you constantly prove to have difficulty with."

"Not constantly," Harry argued with a frown.

"Stop delaying the inevitable and take your potion," Snape instructed.

"Couldn't I skip it just this once?" Harry asked in a small voice. "It's Christmas."

"Christmas Eve," Snape corrected him. "And no you may not. I am hopeful that tomorrow may be the last day you have to take it. Missing a dose could distort that completely."

"Same difference," Harry muttered under his breath still making no attempt to pick up the vial.

"Harry," Snape said sternly. "Now please."

Harry picked up the vial and slowly twisted off the cap. He knew that arguing with Snape was pointless. He would never win. Besides, arguing with the man likely wasn't the best way to prove that he could stay out of trouble.

He brought the vial to his lips and quickly tipped it back swallowing the liquid as quickly as he could. The moment it was empty he put the vial down and picked up his glass of pumpkin juice drinking it as quickly as he could.

"The dramatics," Snape commented as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not being dramatic," Harry argued. "It's disgusting! You would hate it if you had to take it."

"I have taken it in the past and I hardly put up the fuss that you do."

Harry looked up at his guardian as he placed his glass back on the table. If Snape had taken the potion before than that meant he had had horrible dreams that he couldn't stop having. "Why did you have to take it?" Harry asked before he could stop himself.

Snape was silent as he picked up his own glass and took a drink. Harry was sure that his guardian wasn't going to answer him. He never even should have asked.

"When your mother passed away," Snape finally replied after several long moments of silence. "Her death caused me a great deal of nightmares. I was sure if I didn't take the potion I would never obtain a proper night's sleep again."

Harry felt his heart skip a beat at these words. He tried to imagine how he would feel if one of his friends were murdered but he quickly pushed the thought out of his mind as it proved far too much for him to handle. He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to change the subject; to somehow save his guardian from some pain. "So you don't like the name Charlie?"

"It's a fine name," Snape replied as he picked up his spoon. "I must say though I do find it quite interesting that you are currently being treated for nightmares that haunted you for weeks involving a dog yet you want one as a pet. I would think that with such a fear a pet of that nature would be the last thing on your mind." He spooned a mouthful of soup into his mouth before giving Harry a curious look.

Harry mulled over these words for a moment as he ate a bite of his soup. "I'm not scared of dogs," he finally replied. "It's just that that dog wants to kill me."

Snape didn't miss the look of dismay in his child's eyes. He instantly regretted his words. "The day after tomorrow we will be returning to Hogwarts," Snape said suddenly feeling the need to change the subject completely. "I have a bit of work to attend to."

Harry made a disapproving face at these words. If Snape was working he was sure he would be bored out of his mind. The school would be practically empty. It suddenly occurred to him that a year ago he would have been thrilled with this prospect. He would have used the time to explore the castle and likely get into mischief. That seemed like so long ago. "Can I visit Ron before classes start again?"

Snape finished the last of his soup before answering. "If my memory serves me correctly I believe that once we return to Hogwarts you are to be on restriction."

Harry frowned deeply. He had somehow managed to forget that he was to be on punishment. Snape had never said for how long either. "Please?" Harry couldn't help but ask, "Just for one night?"

"Finish the last of your soup; you are taking a nap this afternoon," Snape responded ignoring the child's question altogether.

"But I wanted to go outside! And I'm not tired!" Harry argued completely forgetting about Ron and the Burrow.

"You came in nearly frozen after being out there this morning and your eyes look exhausted," Snape noted. "Now eat the last bite of your soup and I will walk you to your room and tuck you in."

"It's Christmas," Harry said in a pitiful voice.

"Eve," Snape corrected him once more. "I am very aware of the day, however that does not change the fact that you are taking a nap. As I said only moments ago I have reason to suspect that you are nearly done with the potion; therefore, this may be the last day that a nap will be required."

"Promise I won't have to take one tomorrow?"

"Absolutely not," Snape shook his head. "I will not know for certain until this evening at the earliest."

Harry frowned as he picked up his spoon and ate the last of his soup. Seconds after he swallowed the last of it he looked up at his guardian. "I'll take a nap."

"Oh I'm so glad that you've agreed," Snape replied in a sarcastic tone as he tapped the table causing it to clear itself. "Here I thought I would have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you upstairs as you kicked and screamed."

Harry stood up as he tried to imagine the scene that Snape had just spoke of. He couldn't picture Snape carrying him let alone carrying him while he kicked and screamed.

"See if I had a dog he could nap with me," Harry pointed out as he followed his guardian out of the kitchen and into the parlor.

"I am sure that I have never felt such an overwhelming urge to cast a silencing charm," Snape reciprocated.

"Snape," Harry nearly whined his name.

"And the urge deepens," Snape replied in a dry voice as he started up the staircase.

Harry rolled his eyes as he stepped onto the second floor. "But a dog-"

"Enough," Snape abruptly cut him off. "I have told you what you need to do in order to obtain a pet dog. I will not listen to you prattle on about it until the summer holiday."

Snape walked into Harry's bedroom with his child only a step behind him. He lifted Harry's quilt before giving the boy a pointed look. "In."

Harry sighed softly as he walked the four steps to his bed and laid down allowing Snape to tuck him in.

"I'm really not tired," he tried one last time.

"You are exhausted," Snape retorted. "I do not want to see you out of this bed for at least an hour."

As if on cue Harry felt the overwhelming urge to yawn and quickly attempted to swallow it.

Snape raised a knowing eyebrow at his young charge. "Just as I suspected."

Harry chose to ignore his guardian's words. "Can you just think about it? Visiting Ron I mean?"

"If you can behave yourself until the last day of the year, and if the Weasleys do not mind your company, I will allow you to visit Ron for the New Year."

Harry smiled widely at these words for all of a moment until the realization hit him that if he was at the Burrow his guardian would be alone for the holiday. "Where will you be?"

"I have plenty of work to do," Snape replied as he pulled Harry's quilt up around his shoulders. He waved his hand, causing the room to darken a considerable amount. "Now sleep, I will wake you for supper."

"But you'll be alone on New Year's Eve," Harry pointed out with a small frown.

Snape felt an overwhelming surge of affection for his child. "I'll be just fine," he replied in a soft voice. "I have spent that particular holiday alone for the last several years and I quite like doing so."

Harry hardly believed these words. He couldn't imagine that anyone would enjoy being alone for the holiday. "Yeah but-"

"No," Snape firmly cut him off. "No more stalling. It is time for you to take a nap."

Harry sighed in defeat as he rolled onto his side and snuggled down into his quilt.

Snape found himself reaching his hand out and gently ruffling the child's hair for a moment before turning and exiting the room.


"You know what I was thinking?"

"I'm afraid to ask," Snape replied in a cautious voice.

Harry glared at his guardian before eating a bite of his ham. He chewed and swallowed before continuing. "I was thinking that if I visit Ron for New Year's you should come too."

"Why would I do such a thing?" Snape asked giving the boy a curious look.

"Well so that you aren't alone," Harry explained.

"Don't be absurd," Snape shook his head before eating the last bite of his supper. He tapped the table once causing his side to clear. "As I already explained to you Harry, I quite like being alone. I certainly do not intend to stay up until midnight and usher in the New Year with theatrics, nor do I intend to spend my evening at the Weasleys."

"Then I'll stay home with you," Harry offered.

"While I appreciate your concern I assure you that I will be more than fine alone." Snape's words were true. He did appreciate Harry's thoughtfulness. It always amazed him how this child who a year ago could not have cared less about him was now somehow so intuitive. It constantly perplexed Snape that Harry cared so deeply.

"I know you'll be okay," Harry replied. "I can still stay with you though."

"You certainly can if you wish but I promise you that should you choose to do so you will only be bored. I will not be celebrating at midnight as I will likely not even stay awake until that hour."

Harry made a disapproving face at these words. "I'll go to the Burrow then."

"I will write the Weasleys when we return to Hogwarts," Snape promised as he watched Harry finish the last of his dinner. He tapped the table once more, causing his child's side to clear as well. "Now I believe that it is time for you to go to bed."

Harry's face fell as he looked up at his guardian. "Do I have to? I'm really not tired. I promise I'm not."

Snape's first instinct was to insist that his young charge march himself up to his bedroom. It was Christmas Eve though and he was sure that bending slightly just this once wouldn't do any damage. After all, all things considered Harry had been pretty well behaved the past few days. He had been taking his potion without much of a fight. He had been napping daily with very little argument. He reminded himself as he had several days ago, if he expected Harry's behavior to change he would have to change his own slightly too.

"I plan on retiring to the parlor for a nightcap and to read a bit," Snape informed the child. "I suppose that if you would like to join me-"

"Really?" Harry cut his guardian off in an exited voice.

Snape resisted the urge to scold the child for interrupting and instead nodded. "You may do so," he finished his previous sentence. "However you will lie on the couch and relax and before doing so you will take your potion without argument."

Harry nodded in agreement. "I promise!"

Snape stood and walked across the room. He retrieved a vial of the potion from a high cabinet before walking back over to the table and setting it down in front of the boy.

"Can I have some pumpkin juice?" Harry asked. "For after," he quickly explained.

Snape tapped the table causing a small glass of pumpkin juice to appear.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" Harry asked as he glanced up at his guardian.

"Perhaps one day," Snape replied. He was about to scold the boy for stalling and instruct him to take his potion but before he had a chance to do so Harry picked up the vial and ingested the contents on his own. He placed the empty vial back on the table and then instantly picked up the glass of pumpkin juice and drank it all in one large gulp.

"There's a chance I might not have to take it tomorrow right?" Harry asked as he placed the glass back on the table.

"There is," Snape nodded as he tapped the table to clear it once more. "You seem to have matured a great deal over the course of the last day. I am interested in seeing how you are in the morning."

He walked out of the kitchen as Harry quickly scrambled out of his chair and followed him.

Harry followed Snape into the parlor and watched as the man walked over to the small bar cart in the corner and quickly fixed himself a night cap.

"Couch," Snape instructed giving Harry a pointed look.

Harry wasted no time obeying. He was sure that if he stalled for even a moment he would be sent to bed.

Snape walked across the room and placed his drink on the table next to his armchair before waving his hand and causing Harry's pillow and blanket to appear on the couch.

"How do you do that?" Harry asked in awe as he propped his pillow against the arm of the couch opposite of Snape's chair. He wanted to be able to see his guardian.

"Concentration and practice," Snape replied as he picked up the quilt and motioned for Harry to lie down. As soon as the child's head hit his pillow, Snape laid the quilt on top of him tucking him in tightly.

"Can you teach me?" Harry asked in a hopeful voice.

"When you are a bit older," Snape promised as he walked back to his armchair and sat down.

"Did you learn that at Hogwarts? And the table thing too? Or did your mum teach you?" Harry asked in an inquisitive voice.

"A bit of both I suppose," Snape countered before taking a sip of his drink.

"Was your mum a real good witch?"

Snape nodded softly. "She was quite skilled. "She was a Healer."

"Did she work at St. Mungo's?" Harry asked before yawning softly.

"She did when I was young," Snape replied. "When I went to Hogwarts things changed for her. My father tended to take his anger out on her as I was no longer around for his needs. She left St. Mungo's shortly after I turned twelve."

"He was real mean huh?"

"He was a cruel and vicious man," Snape replied forthrightly before taking a sip of his drink. "I can honestly say that I spent most of my childhood in fear of him."

Harry digested these words as he tried to picture Snape's childhood. The Dursleys had always treated him horribly but they had never physically abused him and Harry was thankful for it. He couldn't imagine living with someone that he was scared of. Even when Snape was at his absolute angriest, Harry still didn't fear his guardian.

"What happened to him?" Harry asked before he could stop himself. "And your mum?"

"His health became poor and he did not take care of it. He went to bed one evening and never woke up. My mother was older when she had me and years of being married to someone so abusive aged her as well. She passed away in St. Mungo's just after I came of age."

Harry furrowed his brow as he thought about how horrible it must have been to suddenly be on your own at just seventeen. Of course he couldn't remember ever having parents and he hated that he couldn't but when he thought about it he instantly decided that not having parents almost your whole life was likely easier than losing them suddenly.

"You needn't look so concerned," Snape said gently. "I managed just fine."

"It just sounds really sad is all," Harry replied through a yawn. "Sad and unfair."

"Ah but as you know life is not fair," Snape responded in a soft voice.

"I know you said that you weren't friends with him, but do you know what happened to my dad's parents? My grandparents?" Harry dared to ask. He worried that his question would ruin the moment that they were sharing; that Snape would get angry and send him to his room.

"I do not," Snape answered honestly. "However I was under the impression that they were older when they had your father. I assume that they passed away from old age."

Harry nodded softly. He was pleased that Snape had answered him and not scolded him.

"While we are on the subject of your father there is something else I have been meaning to tell you," Snape continued.

Harry kept his eyes on his guardian as the man took a long drink from his glass. He was overly curious about what Snape was going to say. He wanted to yell at the man to put his glass down and tell him already, but he refrained. Doing so would likely only lead to him never hearing what Snape wanted to say.

After what felt like an eternity to Harry, his guardian placed the glass back on the round table and gently cleared his throat. "While the fact remains true that your father and I were never friends, there was an occasion that took place when we were students that I feel you should know about. I would appreciate it if you did not hound me with questions regarding this as I cannot and will not answer them for you." Snape paused. It was only when Harry nodded his agreement that he continued once more. "There was an incident where I was unknowingly put in a very dangerous situation by Sirius Black; one in which I very easily could have been killed." Harry's eyes grew large at the words. "Of course," Snape continued, "Black always claimed that it was just meant to be a harmless prank however I had a hard time believing that as a boy and I still do as an adult. Your father risked his own life to save mine that night. As I said I cannot go into detail, nor can I answer questions about the situation but I thought you would like to know that. It was a moment in which I realized that perhaps I didn't know your father as well as I thought I had."

"I thought you said that my dad and Sirius Black were friends though?" Harry asked in a small voice.

"They were," Snape nodded. "Very close friends. Much like yourself and Mr. Weasley."

"So he pranked you and my dad went against it and helped you?" Harry asked in awe. He couldn't imagine Ron pranking someone and that prank putting them in a situation where the person could die. But if he ever did, Harry could see himself going against Ron to save the person too. He was glad to learn that perhaps that part of him came from his dad.

"He did," Snape nodded before picking up his glass once more.

"I'm glad he did," Harry said before yawning.

"You should go up to your bedroom before you fall asleep," Snape noted.

"In a minute," Harry muttered as his eyes closed. He snuggled down under the quilt, feeling completely content in the parlor with his guardian.

"I am not carrying you upstairs," Snape warned him. "Nor am I dealing with a cranky child when I wake you and make you walk up there."

Harry meant to open his eyes and start moving but he was suddenly so exhausted that he couldn't find the energy to do so.

"I mean it Harry," Snape tried once more. "I am not carrying you like a baby. You are far too old for such things."

Harry did not answer him and seconds later Snape noticed that the child's breathing had become deeper. He sighed softly to himself as he finished his nightcap. He debated getting up to make one more but vetoed the idea. His chair was much too comfortable to leave at the moment.

His eyes settled in on his child. He suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of affection for the boy. He was sure that he had never cared in such a way for a child before. He hoped that he was doing right by the boy. He knew that he could be strict but he did truly believe that it was for the best. He knew that throughout Harry's life he had dealt with adults that often fell short in regards to their obligations towards the boy. Snape refused to do so. He was determined to hold Harry accountable for his actions – both good and bad. He hardly felt that a firm hand would damage the child permanently – if anything it would likely do more good than harm.

Still, he had realized for quite some time now that it would never hurt the child to bend in some areas as well. It was a reality that Snape often found himself struggling with. Yet he knew that if he wanted a good relationship with Harry it was worth working on daily.

And he did want a good relationship with his son. He wanted the best relationship. He wanted to spend time with him. It was an unusual feeling for him. In the past he had often found himself pleased to be alone. Now when he was put in such a situation he found his mind wandering to the boy, wishing that he was with him. He hoped that Harry was starting to view him as a father figure. He wanted the child to trust him. He wanted Harry to learn to come to him with his problems rather than trying to sort through them all on his own. He wanted to be the one to comfort him when it was needed. He wanted to be someone that Harry could depend on. He wanted to be the constant in the boy's life.

Less than a year ago he never would have imagined carrying so deeply about the boy. Now he truly couldn't imagine his life without him. The thought of losing the child caused anxiety to rush through his veins.

"Harry," Snape said once more. "I'm being quite serious now. You need to get up and go to your room."

Snape smirked softly as Harry continued to sleep.

"Alright," he said softly as he leaned back in his chair. "You shall be permitted to sleep on the couch then. After all, it is Christmas."

TBC...