Chapter Fifty-four

"Have I mentioned I really hate this?"

"Answer: Yes, meatbag. As my Master stated after the third such mention," the droid's vocabulator changed to a perfect emulation of Revan's voice and inflection, "'Your constant complaints are neither necessary nor helpful.'"

Atton scowled but ignored the rust-colored droid, and silence once again fell over the group as they carefully picked their way over the broken, treacherous landscape of Malachor V. With a sigh to himself, the scoundrel sent a worried glance over his shoulder at the Ebon Hawk where they'd landed on a small, flat plateau not far from the Sith Academy. "She's just so…exposed," he complained.

"There is nothing to be done for it," Revan admonished harshly. "This is as close as we could get, and there is no more time to be wasted."

"I know, I know, I get it," Atton answered with one last concerned look behind him before he was forced to focus on clambering down the steep slope. "Doesn't mean I have to like it. It's going to be hell getting out of here."

"Yeah, well, that's not likely going to be something we have to worry about, is it?" Mira's face was pinched with grief, her eyes raw and red-rimmed from crying. She was taking Bao-Dur's death especially hard and hadn't spoken more than a handful of words since she'd heard the news. "Just focus on finding Kreia and quit bitching."

Atton frowned at her, but hesitated to respond as he usually would for fear of upsetting her more. Mira didn't bother to wait for him to answer anyway, and strode ahead of the group so swiftly that the others worried she might slip and harm herself. When Revan moved as though to catch up to her, Canderous shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'll do it."

"Her grief gnaws at her," Visas cautioned him even as she glided effortless over the rough terrain. Atton wondered idly if the "gift" or sight were more a burden than helpful seeing as how graceful the blind Seer was compared to their clumsy fumbling. "Take care what you say to her, Mandalore."

Canderous grunted something about understanding better than they could and trotted ahead of them. "Look, I didn't mean to upset anyone," Atton said aloud to no one in particular.

"Then you should not have spoken," Revan muttered, catching herself against a tall rock formation as she lost her footing and nearly slid to her knees. "You should accept that this is likely to be the last mission any of us ever complete."

Indignant, Atton glared at her in profile. "I have accepted that, Your Ladyship. But until my dying moment, I've got to believe there's at least some chance of winning and surviving this."

"Statement: Your odds of survival are so slight that my programming requires me to round down to zero. Conclusion: The chance of necessitating an escape would be a needless waste of energy."

Atton turned his glare upon the droid assassin. "Do you ever shut up?"

"For once, we are in agreement," Revan said with a chastising glance at her creation. "HK, you are here to slay Sith, not to provide pointless feedback. Understood?"

"Statement: A most acceptable compromise, Master."

-

Aeryn hadn't expected the pursuing Sith to simply let her run away, so when she stumbled into an enormous chamber with no obvious escape routes, she whirled to face the oncoming Sith Commander and her students. Nothing but darkness and silence filled the empty hallway behind her, and though she stood tense and breathing unsteadily for what felt like several minutes, she was unable to sense anyone nearby. Except…

"I have waited so long for this day." Aeryn fought back a scowl and turned slowly toward Kreia's voice. "You who are young cannot imagine…I had begun to doubt…."

The old crone faded off, a faint, almost whimsical smile on her lips. She drifted toward Aeryn across a wide dais in the center of the sprawling room, its edges lined by a few scattered columns, each arched inward like the talons of a massive claw. Otherwise, the room was plain and empty, but for the two women standing wordlessly across from one another.

"I can't let you do this," Aeryn finally murmured to fill the thick silence. "You know I can't."

Kreia only smiled, and for a moment Aeryn saw the old woman as she'd been in her vision not long before – a young, intelligent Jedi, proud and prepared to accept the weight of her responsibilities. "Before events escalate to what you likely call 'the inevitable,' let me ask you something." Aeryn hesitated, then nodded once. Kreia tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment, then began to pace in front of the younger woman. "Do you…believe the Force is benevolent? Do you believe it is inherently good?"

"I…suppose not," Aeryn replied cautiously. "If I had to label the Force anything, I'd probably say it's neutral."

Kreia nodded but didn't stop pacing. "I expected you would say as much. Then you believe the ultimate goal is balance?"

"I guess that's one way of putting it."

"Then if the Force is neutral, balanced, it is as much the Dark Side as it is the Light. Correct?" The old woman stopped her pacing and waited until Aeryn opened her mouth to attempt an uncertain response, then cut her off. "Everything you despise, the Sith, the Dark Side, all of it is as much the will of the Force as any great Jedi. The Force wishes it so, and so it is."

"No, you're twisting the truth," Aeryn insisted, but her frown revealed her confusion. "The Force as it exists is neutral – it's those who wield it who are either good or evil or something in between."

"You mince words, Exile," Kreia answered with a dismissive wave of her hand. "It is the same either way. If the 'good' gets too strong, more of the 'bad' is created to balance it. You said it yourself – the goal is neutrality."

Aeryn shook her head and tried to find a way around the logic, but after a moment she sighed and snapped, "Just get to the point."

Kreia smiled again, her voice dropping to a soft, almost motherly tone. "We are nothing but tools, my young friend. Are you truly content to live your life as a slave, and allow the rest of the galaxy to remain enslaved for all eternity?"

"I don't see it that way."

"But you should. You of all people should!" The old woman began to pace again, and her hand movements become agitated. "The will of the Force, that is all the Jedi talk about. Anything bad that happens is the will of the Force, anything good that happens is as well – even when nothing happened they say the same! Fools, all of them. You are brighter than this, Exile. Think!"

"No," Aeryn said stubbornly. "I won't play this game with you! I don't agree with…."

"It was the will of the Force that led you to Malachor the first time." Aeryn stood very still as the old crone took a step toward her, Kreia's posture tense and angry. "It was the will of the Force that allowed you to be ripped asunder by the Mass Shadow Generator, the creation of which was also the will of the Force! It was the Force which led your sister to slaughter countless millions, and the Force led the man you loved to betray you and her for his own desires – yet the love you had for him before that must also have been the Force's will!

"The will of the Force turned you against your own Masters, forced you to kill Jolee Bindo, then Vrook, Kavar, Zez Kai-Ell. The Force led Lorna to her death on Korriban, and showed Atris the path of Darkness that consumed her heart. She murdered in the name of the will of the Force, Exile. The Force created beasts like Sion and Nihilus, husks of men fueled by the Force flowing through them! And what of the Iridonian? It was the will of the Force that brought you here, thus it was the will of the Force that he die!" Kreia's voice had risen sharply, almost to the point of exasperation. "Do you begin to see the pattern, or must I go on?"

Aeryn shook her head very slowly, her eyes staring through rather than at the old woman standing not far from her. "No," she said in a whisper. "That's twisted logic. That's…."

"Why do you serve something that cares nothing for you?" Kreia nearly shouted. "Why do you give your life over to the Force? It uses you, it has always used you! Just as it has used me, and everything good I ever tried to do was swallowed by darkness in the name of neutrality! We are but grains of sand, crushed underfoot or melted down for glass! We are nothing to the Force but pawns in this never-ending game! How can you not see that?"

"Because I don't believe it!" Aeryn shot back with as much frustration as Kreia. "There is still choice – always choice! Bao-Dur chose to come here with me" because I asked, because I was afraid to be alone, because I wanted him here, and now he's dead…because of me… "and it wasn't forced on him. If he'd stayed behind, he'd be alive now, so it wasn't the will of the Force that he die – it was the choice that killed him! And Sion and Nihilus chose their paths and destroyed their own lives, with your help, and the same is probably true with Atris as well. The Force drives the galaxy toward neutrality, yes, to maintain the balance, and I will even concede that it uses evil against good for its own purposes, but the Force does not choose the path – we are the ones who choose!"

The old woman snorted in contempt. "So, the Force chooses the destination, but we control the means of getting there?" The old woman made no attempt to hide the snide disgust in her tone.

"Yes, that is what I believe."

Kreia shook her head and when she spoke her voice was laced with disappointment. "And you truly believe there's a difference? That your theory is enough to continue to allow this galaxy to be enslaved?"

Aeryn sagged suddenly, her back bend forward as weariness seemed to seep into her very bones. "I guess I do. But even if I didn't, I couldn't do what you ask. It's not my place to decide if this galaxy should continue to live. No one has the right to make that kind of choice…least of all me."

The old woman was openly grieved by Aeryn's words, though she did not seem overly surprised. "I should have expected as much," she said softly. "I had hoped to make you understand…to guide you willingly."

"I can't," Aeryn insisted with a broken sigh. "I won't."

For a moment, Kreia turned her back on the younger woman, and Aeryn began to wonder if perhaps Kreia was suffering a change of heart. "Then I am sorry," Kreia said very quietly. "You leave me no choice."

-

"This is really creepy," Atton whispered, his voice echoing down the empty hallways of the Trayus Academy.

"Where the hell are they?" Mira muttered. Though she was still noticeably upset, her expression was more worry and anticipation than anything else.

"Assessment: Several dozen meatbags are following our movements. Additional: Unfortunately, they are careful to stay out of blaster range, Master."

Revan nodded and murmured, "Yes, I can sense them."

"As do I," Visas replied calmly as Atton and Mira gave short nods of agreement. "What they are waiting for, though, I cannot determine."

"Maybe they're scared of us," Atton offered uncertainly.

"Statement: According to my scans, the number of trained Sith observing our progress outnumbers our own count by twelve to one. Taking into consideration my extensive knowledge of the Sith, as well as the basic analysis of the outcome of such a one-sided battle, I would surmise that fear is not what holds them back."

Atton scowled and opened his mouth to tell the droid to shut up, but Mira snorted out a bitter laugh that startled them all. "Well, that's just great. Means we're walking our asses right into a trap."

"We have no choice, kid," Canderous grumbled from behind his helm. "Sometimes springing the trap is the only way."

"Yeah, the only way to get ourselves killed," she grumbled to herself then fell silent.

Nothing but the sound of their steady footsteps was heard for a time, then Atton frowned and spoke so suddenly that they all gave a start. "I just realized…there's no sign of a fight."

"You just now realized that?" Mira muttered.

"Well, I mean…" Atton scowled at her. "The point is, Aeryn didn't have to fight her way through here either." He waited a moment as the others shared looks of understanding. "Why? Why wouldn't they have attacked her?"

"It is likely for the same reason they do not attack us," Visas offered. "But, as I said…."

"We don't know why," Atton finished. "Got it."

"Which means Aeryn could have walked into a trap as well," Mira added.

"Not likely," Revan said with a soft shake of her head, but whatever she was going to say after that died on her lips as the ground beneath her boot crunched loudly. "What…?"

"Broken glass," Canderous said as he crouched beside her, his repeater tucked close to his body under one arm. "Be careful."

With even more caution, the group moved silently forward into a large, shadowy room. Glass peppered the floor, obviously from the massive shattered window opposite them. Faint light illuminated the cold, motionless form lying face down on the floor.

"Sion." Atton crept forward carefully, his 'sabers deactivated but ready in his hands, but when the fallen Sith Lord did not move, the scoundrel squatted beside the body and touched Sion's shoulder to roll him onto his back. Atton's fingers sank into the ravaged flesh as the place he touched dissolved into a fine, powdery ash that clung to his gloved fingers. With a noise of disgust, Atton tried to shake off the ash and backed away. "He's…dead?"

"He has been dead for a very long time," Visas said quietly. "It seems he was finally able to let go."

"Good thing for us," the scoundrel replied wryly. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that this," he paused and waved around the room, "all of this mess was Aeryn's doing?"

"Most likely," Revan nodded. "We should…" the raven-haired woman's eyes widened and stared off unfixed, her face ashen in the eerie light, "no. No!"

Atton's heart rate doubled as the former Lord of the Sith abruptly launched herself down the only other hallway leading from the room, but at that same moment he too felt what Revan felt. A sharp tremor ripped through the Force, and a familiar presence brushed the minds of the four Force sensitives. Canderous and HK-47 glanced at each other then rushed to keep pace as the Jedi sprinted after Revan toward the source of the pain they could all feel through the Force.

"Release her!" Revan's command echoed through the enormous chamber, but Atton paid no attention to the enraged woman or the old crone sitting cross-legged on the central dais. Frantically his eyes searched the room for Aeryn, unable to pinpoint her through the Force because of the roiling mass of Dark Side power that ebbed and flowed through the room. "I said release her! Now!" Revan's 'saber spun to life, her tall form imposing despite her thin frame, and she cleared the room in a few strides to stand only a few feet from Kreia.

Atton saw Aeryn then, though he barely recognized her, slumped back against one of the ominous pillars. The groaning woman's chin was tucked firmly against her chest and her hands gripped the sides of her bald head so hard that her knuckles were stark white. Her agony was so intense than Atton had to grind his teeth to keep going toward her, but his determination was so firm that he didn't even pause to consider what the others were doing. Despite the bloody streaks on one side of her head, Atton could tell her pain had nothing to do with any physical injury. Sadness and terror poured out of her, accompanied by an unmistakable undercurrent of anger, but her mind was buried under more layers of Force protection than he'd thought her capable of.

"Aeryn?" He kept his voice quiet, completely ignoring the angry confrontation going on between Revan and Kreia. "Sweetheart? Can you hear me?" The Exile did not react, and Atton murmured her name worriedly a few more times, afraid to touch her. "Please sweetheart," he whispered as he crouched as close beside her as he dared, "just tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this. Come on…."

As he spoke, Aeryn's shoulders began to relax, her posture softening until her hands slid away from her face and into her lap. Her eyes were clamped shut tightly, and beads of sweat had formed on the lines of concentration on her forehead. Still she did not respond to Atton, and the scoundrel glanced to one side to see that Kreia was now standing in front of Revan, her pose arrogant and defiant. A great sense of dread was building in Atton's mind, but he tried to push it aside as he focused back on Aeryn.

"What is she doing to you, sweetheart?" he asked, no longer able to keep from touching her as he gently squeezed her shoulder. "Please, tell me what to do."

Aeryn's pale blue eyes fluttered open, her sallow face filled with a shocked recognition as she stared at him. "A-Atton?" her voice cracked as she said his name, but she cleared her throat weakly and tried again. "Atton…you're here?"

"Of course I'm here," he said as he tried to control the rush of emotions that flooded through him. His arm slid around her shoulders and she practically collapsed against his chest, her fingers twisting desperately in the front of his robes as a ragged sigh ripped out of her. "I said I'd protect you." Aeryn lay against his chest for a moment, then a faint tremor passed through her body and she raised her head to give him a long, searching look. Longing to change the charged fear lying behind her eyes, Atton forced a small smile and let his gaze linger on her bare scalp. "I know I said you'd be beautiful even without hair…" he trailed off and smirked as she blinked in surprise at his tone. "But…could you never do that again? Please?"

An almost-laugh escaped Aeryn's mouth before it was warped into a grimace of pain. With a groan, she slumped back against the pillar, her eyes screwed tight shut again as she struggled with something Atton could not see. The scoundrel watched helplessly, his hands on each of her shoulders as he searched her face as if there were some clue to what he could do to help were written there. "Atton," she finally managed to hiss between clenched teeth. "Atton there's…ahh…there's a reason you're here." Her voice faded off and her body relaxed for a moment. "I should have realized…."

"Of course there's a reason," Atton said with more conviction than he felt. "I'm supposed to protect you, right?"

"Yes," Aeryn sighed, then her body tensed as she cried out in pain. "Yes…but…not in the way you think."

"What do you mean, sweetheart? Just tell me. Anything, anything you need and I'll do it."

Aeryn's eyes flashed open, a frightening, feverish look behind the shining blue depths. "Promise me," she demanded in a whisper. "Promise…."

The sense of dread twisted in Atton's gut so hard that he felt dizzy. "I…" he started, but faded off uncertainly as the warning in the back of his mind told him that something horrible was about to happen. "Aeryn, I…."

"Swear it!" she all but snarled, her voice trailing off to a weak whimper even as she clung to the front of his robes with desperate hands. "Please…you have to."

"Okay!" he soothed as he supported her by the arms. "Don't hurt yourself. I swear, Aeryn, I'll do whatever I have to in order to protect you. Okay?"

Aeryn relaxed again and swallowed hard as her eyes slid shut again, nodding absently to herself as she did. "Good…good…."

"What do I have to do?" Atton slowly asked.

With obvious effort, the Exile sat forward, her eyes still shut, and slipped her hand into the top of her boot. Atton's fear overflowed as she drew out the simple but deadly knife she always carried and offered it to him hilt first. "Kill me."


A/N: One more chapter left. And epilogue, because I love those. Thank you all so so sososo much for reviews. :)