hunter- OMFG that SUCKS. I would deff petition! It's not like EVERYTHING on there would be under copyright. It amazes me how many ppl get all stuffy over that sort of thing when making a tribute or something. *facepalm* But so far so good. Only real help I need is a live in maid LMFAO. Ahh to win the lotto would be nice.
luckylucy77- I hope you made it this far! LOL TY for reading and I super plan on finishing this!
Footster26- TY! Glad to be back! And SUPER glad to have you back reading!
ceceplayz- TY TY TY! LOL Yeh when I started writing this I wasn't sure what all thoughts I would be putting in but I had the general concept in my mind. And the summery reflects that. Also I kindda hate giving away things in a summery so mystery is fun :) TY SO MUCH!
mandy- GET OUT OF MY BRAIN! LOL Congrats btw! I'll tell you this much planning the wedding is fun at first... then you wanna kill ppl and things... But... When you walk down the isle and all you see is that person you love it doesn't make any more difference. :) Anyway... 1) You'll find me on fb pretty easy... seriously LOL 2) OMFG he did COPPOUT! Fuckin troll... We waited so freaking long and then... yeh... *facepalm* Not to mention that there are SO many elements that were taken from actual fanfics and fan thoughts... shit I read like MONTHS before... Seriously?! Gahh... anyway... 3) TY TY TY! Yeh rl get's insane and this is my escape at times. But this time of year is always crazy. Like you said, taxes, my daughter, and just life in general. We started potty training and lord help me... *cries in corner... then discover's whats in the corner and cries harder* LMFAO But I feel like Lucy get's under played a lot. Seeing how Mashima pulls so much from prior work she's going to be the "hero" of the whole story line. Hell she already was... BUT it still get's underplayed. She's more than fan service. SO MUCH MORE. Idk I just wanted to give her some real justice.
Blond Neko-chan- TY TY TY! Yes I tend to be long winded in my AN cause well... I like replying to ppl's reviews! And I like my readers knowing that I'm reading what they say and replying. :) That and I tend to vent my terrible days to you guys LOL. Don't worry though there is a LOT more to go on this story. The word count will continue to be inflated cause of AN however, it's a great deal anyway... 88k written so far and I'm not even where we need to be LOL
Angie- Luzy bum :P LOL But then again I'll let you get a pass since you don't have normal net LOL And Mashima did it cause he's the devil... Actually I think he was tryin to pay tribute to his fans in his own way. Seems like the kind of guy that WOULD read ff and forums from the "popular" fans... Maybe this was his way of letting us all know that yes he is watching and enjoys our thoughts too? And haven't you learned yet they with the series of short chaps there's something BIGGER coming? :P Now then... Read this... Study some... and then finish yur DA LOL
Guest- I AM! LOL Ty for reading still! And yeh she's awesome! I love Levi too much... Funny enough I've never wrote a Levi fic... Hmmmm maybe soon... LOL
Cool- TY! And I'm looking forward to you reading the next one!
Lucy stared at the blank pages in her lap with a frown. Normally she found it easy to write her letters to her mother, but at the moment it was terribly difficult. The more she read of her mother's journal the further separated she felt from the woman she thought she knew. Her memories were of a mother who spent her time teaching her daughter how to use her magic and playing any game that was to Lucy's whim. She had watched as her mother played the part of débutante's wife as if she had been made for the roll. The grace the woman possessed screamed high society.
Not down and dirty mage.
The journal was not just her mother's findings on controlling the dragon's gates but her life. She had belonged to a guild once. Not only the merchant's guild she met Lucy's father in, but a magic guild. She had a rag tag group of friends and Lucy had to wonder what became of them all? Her mother had been an adventurer and lived a life filled with freedom. How was it then that Lucy was the dove in a gilded cage? Did love really change her mother so much? Did she regret it? Did she grow to wonder what happened to her life?
Glancing down at the dragon-slayer who decided to use her lap as a pillow, Lucy sighed. Would the same happen to her? True she didn't have to worry about Natsu ever deciding to leave Fairy Tail to pursue a life of deal making, but would being in a relationship alter her? People change and grow everyday but the contrast between the woman her mother had been, and the mother Lucy knew was so vast. She could admit that being around Natsu as well as the rest of Fairy Tail had already changed her.
She had been raised to act like a proper heiress. But as time went on she grew to resent the future that had been forged for her. So she left. Fate brought Natsu and she together and thus her adventure began. But the first months of being in the guild had changed her. She thought less of their rowdy behavior and learned to dodge the flying objects rather than huddle in a corner in fear. She stood on the bar top plenty of times now singing a vast array of drunken ballads with Cana at least once a week or so, whereas before she would flush in embarrassment for the woman making a fool of herself. On her first missions as a Fairy Tail mage she would be fearful of the Magic Councils wrath because of the destruction that followed them, now she didn't bat an eye when apologizing. So much in her life had changed but it had turned her into the woman her mother once was. The woman before Jude, before Lucy.
Natsu's brow twitched in annoyance at the insistent tapping of Lucy's pen on the pages. She had been doing it for the last ten minutes at the least and he knew it was a nervous habit of hers. Any time she figured out something that upset her she would drum her nails or tap her fingers, and when she had a writing utensil, she tapped it. Opening one eye to stare up at her he frowned. She would also bit her bottom lip when she was worried, and currently he was sure the thing would be gone if she continued abusing it the way she was. Sighing he asked, "What's wrong?"
Lucy jumped at the sound of Natsu's voice. Blinking several times she regained her surroundings. They were in the woods where they had made a small camp right near a waterfall. They decided to go on a mission but they walked there and back so Lucy could collect her thoughts before facing the guild and divulging her heritage. Biting her lip harder she realized Natsu was waiting on an answer. "Am I the same person you met in Hargeon?" she asked somewhat fearful.
Natsu's brow drew together in confusion. "Well…" he started not sure what she was asking. "You're still Lucy, so I'd hope you were." Mulling it over for a moment he added, "Then again I guess you could have changed places with that weirdo version of yourself in Edolas. Or you could be Gemi and Mini. But they smell different from you."
Lucy frowned. "That's not what I meant."
He returned her frown and sat up to regard her, "Then what did you mean?"
Lucy sighed and looked down at her lap. How could she put into words that he would understand that she was having an identity crisis that had nothing to do with her own identity? "I just mean… Have I changed?"
Natsu's eyes widened shocked slightly at the question, "Everyone changes Luce." He said bluntly as he resumed his prior position.
She groaned. "I know that! I'm just wondering if I've done a complete one-eighty since you've known me!"
He shrugged. "Doesn't really matter. You're Lucy and you'll always be Lucy so really that's all I notice."
She huffed and shoved him off of her lap. Ignoring his protest she stood and brushed the dirt and leaves from her shorts. "Never mind." She grumbled as she walked off to the river.
Natsu pouted and rubbed the spot where his head met the ground. He watched as she sat at the river's edge looking lost and slightly defeated. "What the hell is her problem?" he groaned to himself.
"Aye Natsu, you better learn how to talk to Lucy better!" Happy snickered having heard the whole conversation when he returned from fishing.
Natsu snapped his attention to his small friend. "What the hell Happy? It's not my fault if she didn't like my answer." Crossing his arms and pouting further he added, "She's the one that asked a weird question."
Happy sighed and rolled his eyes. He was a cat and even he knew what Lucy was asking. "Lucy's been reading her mom's journal a lot. Something in there has her upset." Flying up to his friends face he knocked on Natsu's head and said, "Aye! It's your job to figure it out and make her feel better!"
Waving the exceed back he glared half heartedly, "I tried! I even asked her what was wrong!"
Happy shook his head and landed to stand in an authoritative pose, "You're not trying hard enough!"
Natsu glared down at the blue fur ball. Huffing he stood and made his way to Lucy wondering what the hell could possibly be wrong this time. A part of him had been silently damming his father for having left that evil journal for Lucy. Since she's opened it, it's done nothing but cause her issues. Plopping himself next to the woman that was staring at the rushing water with a lost gaze, he sighed. Nudging her with his elbow he asked once more, "What's wrong?" as an afterthought he added, "And don't ask me one of your weirdo questions again."
Lucy's train of thought was broken when he spoke to her. Giving him a disapproving frown she sighed heavily. Apparently he decided to be persistent about this so she would have to break down and tell him what was on her mind. "The woman in this," she started holding up the journal to emphasize her point, "isn't the same woman I remember. They are two different people."
Natsu scratched his head in confusion, "Well maybe that one isn't your mom." He said as he pointed to the book.
Lucy groaned. She should have never bothered to begin with. "She is the same person, her personality is totally opposite."
"I don't get it."
"Of course you don't." she mumbled. Tossing herself to the forest floor she lay on her back and covered her eyes with her forearm. "Growing up, Mama was always so poise and respectful. She knew how to talk to all my father's associates like it was something she grew up doing. She never used a curse word, or acted rudely, she was just always the epitome of proper woman. Even when she was trying to teach me magic she had all the patients in the world. Not once do I remember hearing her yell at anyone."
Pausing and frowning she once again held up the worn journal. "This version of my mother though… She runs around getting into trouble, goes on rants about her friends and the stupid things they do, and curses worse than Cana when she's past drunk. Even her notes on what she had found about the gates are full of rants and raves."
Silence past between them for several moments. Lucy stayed in her position on the ground blocking out the world around her. Natsu's frown deepened as he laid himself next to her. Silently he mulled over her words and was realizing at least part of her worry. As the clouds lazily drifted by he tried to think about the Lucy he met verses the Lucy he knew now. She had changed but as he had said everyone does. Things happen in life causing them to change how the act or react. "Why's it such a big deal?" he asked trying to wrap his head around everything.
Lucy growled frustrated, "Because I don't want that to happen! I don't want to look back on my life and wonder what happened and begin to resent my family!"
His eyes widened. "Did she say that?" he asked in complete disbelief. The way Lucy had always spoken about her mother would lead anyone to think the woman had been a saint. If she had written something that could eventually be seen by her own daughter that said she regretted having her, it would crush Lucy.
Lucy bit her lip. "No she didn't. At least not yet." Lifting her arm away so she could look at the man beside her she continued, "She's only about twenty or so in where I'm reading. She hadn't married my father yet. Mama had me later in life. She was almost thirty."
Natsu let out a breath he had been holding. He felt relieved. Lying back down, he turned to his side and drew Lucy closer. "Ten years is a long time Luce. A lot of things can happen to change a person."
She hummed in agreement. "It just seems like a huge change."
He shrugged. "You don't have to keep reading it. You could stop. I mean I'm sure we'll figure things out another way."
She shook her head, "No. She was the only person to even get close. I need to read this if nothing else to find out what I did wrong."
Natsu growled at her clutching her tighter, "You didn't do anything wrong. You just did it a different way." Ignoring the way she rolled her eyes and huffed he went on, "Geez can't you just accept that you're just as awesome as your mom? Even Igneel said so."
She snorted a laugh, "I think Aquarius would beg to differ."
A chill ran down his back at the mention of the water spirit. "Yeh well… Ignore her. She's just crabby."
Lucy laughed as she felt her keys shake slightly with energy. "I think she heard you."
"Shit, she's going to drown me! Tell her to calm down!" Natsu cried in fear.
Pulling the key from it's holder she held it up, "I could call her out if you like and you can apologize?"
"NO!" he yelled not even bothering to hide the truly unmanly like nature of the sound. He sighed in relief when Lucy put the key back and began laughing. Smiling he felt he had done well. At least she wasn't so gloomy anymore. "Hey let's go swimming!" he cheered sitting up. Thinking it over a moment he added, "Leave your keys on sore though."
His last comment forced her to laugh hysterically as she nodded her agreement and began to pull off the clothing she had on covering the bikini underneath.
This chapter... Idk... I really don't... I didn't like it for SOOOO long... Part of the reason I didn't update until last week either... But I found a way to make it work in my head... It's mindless for now... But it does lead into something... I have this image of Layla that is going on in my mind and well... You'll see... LOL
Keep readin and reviewing
~Gemi
