54. Atonement

Well, this wasn't going well.

Order business didn't usual entail such dull evenings. Sirius had grown so accustomed to the sudden explosions of it all, the battles springing out of nowhere, spur of the moment action. He found some strange comfort in the roar of the fight, spells firing from all directions, the adrenaline pumping through his veins. But now as he found himself amidst a much different scene, Sirius was horrified.

It was an average night, the kind of work most would be thankful from. A break from the usual danger, Sirius patrolled the streets of Diagon Alley along with an Order member, watching for signs of any ill-behavior. Night fell heavily upon the street, and the shops were cloaked with shadows. Not a sound echoed from any direction, except for the pair's footsteps pacing up and down the cobble stone-lined roads.

Sirius loathed patrolling - loathed it with a passion that could burn through any hatred he once held. It surpassed that of homework, Severus Snape and his goons, paperwork at the Auror Office, and even his prick of a younger brother. There were only two things in this world he hated more than patrolling. As he strolled sullenly down the roadside, Sirius felt like he was being useless. Here he was, pacing back and forth far, far away from any danger, while Death Eaters ran amuck across the country.

Of course, with thanks due for his never-failing string of bad luck, Sirius' evening was doomed to be even worse. The moment Sirius learned who his partner would be for the night's patrol, he knew he was cursed. Adam Prewett strode a few yards away from Sirius, his wand fixed at his side, his brown eyes looming off into the distance.

Sirius' hatred for Prewett - whether misplaced or not, Sirius no longer wondered nor cared - was only half of the evening's frustration. It was that every moment Sirius spent alongside the insufferable man, he thought of her.

It had been a week since the argument. A week of sheer, merciless torture for Sirius. Seven days came and went, and with each day, Mora's grudge remained unmoved. She would not look at nor speak to Sirius, she hardly acknowledged his existence. Time had proved to deepen this vendetta, and now when Sirius tried to apologize, Mora would stare straight through him, as if he weren't there at all. It killed Sirius every day to see Mora suffer with such anger, especially when it resulted from his own stupidity.

And of course, in true puppy-dog suit, Prewett picked up on Mora's icy demeanor towards Sirius. Although she refused to tell him exactly what transpired, Prewett knew enough: Sirius said or did something beyond reproach, and therefore it was Prewett's chivalrous duty to make Sirius pay for it.

Sirius knew he had to set things right. He couldn't bear to see Mora suffer, to see her move through the house like some kind of phantom. He had to apologize, to beg for forgiveness upon his knees if necessary. But with Mora pretending he was invisible, Sirius found this to be quite a challenge.

Taking a deep breath of the brisk, March air, Sirius knew what he had to do. In order to reach out to Mora, he'd have to go through the middle-man, even if he was a pompous little...

"Nice weather, huh?" Sirius began, his awkward, generic words causing no visible reaction from Prewett.

"Cold," Prewett said eventually, his stare still focused ahead of him as the two fell back into silence.

Just spit it out already! Sirius' mind demanded.

"So, er," Sirius faltered slightly. "How's Mora?"

Prewett snorted. "You should know, you live with her."

"Well, we kinda haven't been, you know..." Sirius rambled on. "It's complicated, alright? Has she said anything about it? Anything about me?"

Prewett shook his head, the faintest trace of a laugh settling in his chest. "You know, I really don't get you, Sirius."

Whatever you do, stay calm, Sirius...

"...Mora used to say you were her best mate, and now..."

"Did she tell you what happened?" Sirius urged. "Did she -"

"She didn't have too," Prewett snapped. His head turned in Sirius' direction, his dark eyes burning with frustration. "I can see perfectly clear what's going on."

A lump rose in Sirius' throat. It was impossible. There was no way in a million years Prewett could know that. It had taken such a long time for Sirius to understand, it was ridiculous to think Prewett knew...

"I know you fancy her," he said coolly, "And it's clear you're pulling this bullock to -"

"I care about Mora, alright! I don't fancy her," Sirius lied. "I just don't want to see her get hurt by the likes of you."

"Funny thing for you to say," Prewett said, "Me, hurt her? I'm not the one who -"

"I screwed up," Sirius roared, "And I couldn't feel worse."

"Oh, I think you can," Prewett hissed.

Sirius sighed, the sound of his breathing the only thing filling the heated silence. "Look, I hate you, okay? I wish you'd fall off the face of the bloody earth. But I know that's not going to keep Mora away from you. For some reason, you seem to make her happy. And that's all I could ever want for her."

"So you'll back off?" Prewett noted skeptically.

"Completely," he said. "But could you...you could tell Mora something for me? Could you tell her I'm sorry, and I just want a chance to say that in person?"

Prewett's head turned back the road. His face read no emotion as Prewett answered, "Sure."

But Sirius could tell by the ice coating Prewett's words exactly what the healer meant.

No way in hell.

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"You know you'll need to talk to him eventually," Lily chided as she slid out of her healer's robes, exposing the sweater pulled across her ever-growing belly.

Mora groaned as she forced open her locker in the hospital's changing room. "No I won't..." she grumbled.

"Mora, you live with him!" Lily reminded. Carefully she lowered herself to the bench cutting between the rows of lockers, her emerald eyes bearing up at Mora with deep concern.

"Doesn't mean a bloody thing," Mora noted. She shrugged her professional blue robe away, clenching it tightly within her fist.

"You can't go on avoiding him like this..."

"I can and I bloody right will!" Mora roared, slamming her locker shut. The sound of clashing metal rang through the empty changing room, vibrating off rows and rows of lockers.

The thought of Sirius Black had often spurred such reactions from Mora lately. Sudden mood swings, sour expressions, and the burning desire to pummel someone senselessly. The hostility between them had been fueling for weeks, yet their last blow out proved to be too much for Mora to handle. The argument had started as stupid, trivial spat over a bloody toilet seat, yet it soon exploded to something much more serious. It had been a week since the fight, and Mora could not find it in her to even speak to Sirius, let alone forgive him.

"I'm sorry," Mora eased instantly, "I didn't mean to shout. Did I...?"

"Will you stop worrying about me and the baby for a second?" Lily smiled, shaking her head. "And no, you didn't upset me. I'm fine, baby's fine. So knock that guilty look off your face, you hear?"

"Fine, fine," Mora said, slumping against her locker. "I just...you know, your healer's been pretty clear, we're not supposed to upset you, for the baby."

"I am willing to do whatever I have to so this baby will be happy and healthy," Lily started, "But you don't need to tip-toe around me like that. I'm not that fragile. Anyways, this isn't about me. It's time we worry about you."

Mora sighed. "Do we have to?"

"Yes, yes we do," Lily dismissed. "Mora, he's your friend! One of your best friends, may I remind you."

"Was," Mora muttered to herself.

"He feels awful, Mora," Lily said, pleading her friend's case. "It's killing him to see how badly he's hurt you. He just wants to -"

"He just wants to tear apart my happiness," Mora snapped. "All he ever does is take shots at Adam, rag on him to his face! Meanwhile I've never said a word about Sirius and his endless track record of girl after girl. Where does he get off doing that?"

"He knows it was wrong -"

"Wrong? Lily, he went way too far!" Mora yelped. "He pulled my bloody sex-life into it!"

Lily sighed, wishing she could wipe away the tormented look upon Mora's face. "He cares, Mora. He convinced himself, he..." she trailed off.

"I know exactly what he was thinking," Mora fumed on. "All Adam wanted out of me was a good shag. Of course that's the only thought that ever crossed Sirius' bloody thick head! That all any guy could ever want out of a girl like me is..."

Mora's shouting subsided suddenly. She clenched her eyes shut, fighting to shake away the face that immediately blazed in her mind. His smirk, his cold, callous laugh, his twisted, honey eyes...

And Colton Bayard was still out there. Free, armed, and killing. The very thought of it sent flames leaping inside her chest.

"Why is it so impossible for him to understand?" Mora said, pressing two fingers to her temple in frustration. "That Adam would actually stay with me even though I won't put out. Merlin! It's bad enough that I'm nineteen and can't even be that intimate with my boyfriend - whom I've been with for months. But now I have Sirius breathing down my neck, reminding me that the world sees me as nothing but a piece of meat..."

Lily patted to the spot on the bench beside her. "Come here," she cooed, her voice like honey. Mora obliged, sinking beside the redhead with a small pout placed upon her lips. "I'm going to tell you something, and you have to promise me you'll listen, alright?"

"Alright," Mora agreed.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever met."

Mora blinked. "See I knew pregnancy could make you crabby at times, but it didn't know it lead to stupidity..."

Lily swatted Mora on the shoulder. "You promised you'd take this seriously!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry," Mora said. "Continuing singing my embellished praises."

Lily chuckled lightly, ignoring Mora's last comment. "Really, Mora. You're possibly the strongest woman I know. You wind up here, pulled out of your own time period, away from your family. And here you are, with your own life. After everything you've faced, Death Eaters, Voldemort, two temparis, Bayards, you're still fighting."

"So, this proves I enjoy a duel here and there," Mora gruffed. "Not much else."

"I'm getting there!" Lily affirmed. "You're so caring, more caring than you ought to be. For you, everyone and everything else always comes first. For Merlin's sake, you sacrificed yourself for a boy you didn't even know on your first battle!"

"You would have done the same-"

"Shh!" Lily commanded. "No comments from the peanut gallery!"

"Sorry..." Mora said lightly.

"There's so much to you, Mora, more than just a pretty face," Lily said. "You're truly remarkable. So don't you ever, ever go on about how you're nothing but some piece of arse, you hear?"

"Yes, Lil," Mora agreed. "Still, it'd be nice if certain people thought of me in that light..."

Right, Mora thought, Certain gray-eyed, object of my secret affection, ignorantly sexist, arrogant, and infuriating people.

"Sirius adores you, Mora," Lily supplied, as if she could read Mora's thoughts. Mora made a small hmph sound.

"He does, Mora," Lily said. "Because everything I just told you, all of that, came from Sirius."

Mora felt rigid jaw loosen slight. "What?" she echoed.

Him? Sirius Black? Of course Mora knew Sirius cared about her. He was, after all, one of her dearest friends. But she could feel their relationship peel away as the months passed, fight after fight, bit after bit. There were times Mora just wanted to wring the boy's arrogant little throat. To knock his stupid, egotistical skull in. To finally avenge all the rotten things that smeared from his mouth these past months.

Yet there were times, much different times, where Mora didn't dream of pummeling Sirius. She didn't fantasize of vengeance or rather rash, violent acts. Instead, her mind pulled her in a radically different direction. When she dreamed of jumping into his arms. Of staring deep inside his steely, gray eyes, and kissing those lips...

But in a matter of moments, Mora would shake these thoughts from her mind. You can't became daily supplements to these images, and soon, the same, firey anger would take control as another confrontation with the Black pushed Mora back to imagining a million different torture tactics.

Something had certainly changed between the two, and Mora now could identify this change to be Adam.

Adam. Sometimes it felt like the healer just fell into her life, and Mora thought he had been exactly what she needed. He was good to Mora, far too good. Every moment she spent with him, Adam made Mora feel like the luckiest girl alive. But even amidst their seemingly perfect relationship, Mora sensed things were a bit further off from picturesque than she first imagined. As Adam's feeling intensified for her and his passion grew, Mora felt different. It was like he was racing ahead, and Mora was left behind, crawling behind.

What had happened? Was Mora plagued by vision of the past? Did nightmares of Tom keep Mora from moving forward with Adam? Did memories of the two Bayards trap her inside her doubt? Or was it her exponentially growing crush for a certain roommate...

A roommate who was willing to do anything to tear them apart. Sirius was relenltess in his attempts to drive a wedge between Mora and Adam. Yet as Mora listened to Lily, and her heartfelt words - no, his words, she felt something change inside her.

"He bloody adores you!" Lily repeated emphatically. "Just to talk to him, alright?"

She sighed, bringing her palm to her forehead. "Okay," Mora said, giving in. "Okay, I'll do it."

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Mora trudged through the front door of the house, escaping the rain pelting mercilessly outside. As she pulled the door shut behind her, a familiar, guilt ridden face waited for her in the foyer. Sirius ran a hand through his black blades of hair, opening his mouth ready to apologize. "Mora," he started weakly. "I-"

Mora raised her hand, stopping the boy's apology. "You're stupid, I'm stupid, right?" she paraphrased. "Truce?"

Sirius' worried eyes eased instantly. "Truce," he smiled.

"Well, c'mon then," Mora laughed. "Hug me you idiot!"

Sirius embraced Mora instantly, a relieved grin spread from ear to ear.

"I'll never do that again, Mora," Sirius promised as he held her tightly. "Never."

"I know," Mora said, feeling something flutter inside her at Sirius' touch.

"No, I mean it this time." Sirius pulled away. Gently he took Mora's chin in his hand, melting away in the soft trance of her blue eyes. "Never again."

Mora let her fingers graze Sirius' hand. "I believe you, Sirius."