A/N: This chapter is a bit of a long one, but hopefully with a good payoff. Everyone sticking with me, favouriting and reviewing, thank you so much. Some days you give me the boost I need to continue. The end is coming soon, I promise!
Chapter Fifty-Three
Shepard found the resolve that had bolstered her after leaving Tuchanka slowly eroding into anxiety as the three days it took to reach the Normandy crawled past. Each day felt like a week as they darted furtively from relay to relay, taking a circuitous route to avoid the growing number that had come under Reaper control. It was agonising, having to sit quietly in the tiny shuttle, knowing the Reapers now controlled the Citadel, but unable to do anything about it. They couldn't even contact the Normandy, other than receiving quick status updates as they passed the occasional undamaged comm buoy. Most of those had been systematically destroyed by the Reapers.
She and the others passed the time with simple games, aimless chatter, and strategising for the theoretical battles ahead. She often spent time alone planning, constantly planning, burying herself in work. She knew the others could see how worried she was, and that bothered her, but in a space as small as the shuttle there wasn't much she could do to hide it.
She developed contingency plans for everything she could think of, every possible eventuality. They needed the Citadel back, and they needed to protect the Crucible with what few ships they had. Both were impossible. Both had to be done anyway.
Nathan joined her sometimes, and she found him surprisingly helpful. He had been through some harsh lessons in recent days, and had come out of it with a newfound maturity. That maturity, when applied to his old rash methods, produced some innovative and viable ideas. The two of them worked well together, and she was surprised and relieved to find her anxiety lessened a little by that.
She badly wanted to spend some time alone with him, just the two of them enjoying being together… but she also found herself reluctant. She very much did not want to talk about what had happened on Tuchanka – not because of what she had almost done, but because of where that discussion would lead. He would want to know why she had made the decision to do whatever it took to get those salarian ships, and that would lead back to what the Illusive Man had done to her. She just couldn't talk about that. Not with Nathan.
The Illusive Man would never let her live through this war, she was certain of it. Somehow, he would find a way to get to her and trigger the remote command that would stop her heart. She couldn't bring herself to tell Nathan her time was limited. Oh, she knew he understood that both of their chances of making it out of the war alive were slim at best, but slim was still something. Hope was one of the most powerful things in the universe. She couldn't take the hope of their life together away from him.
It was hard enough knowing she had no such hope herself.
When they finally arrived at the tiny, nondescript planet they had chosen for a rendezvous point, Shepard's heart sank as she took in the long, charcoal-black streaks marring the Normandy's sleek flanks.
Zaeed whistled as he saw the damage. "Looks like she got chewed up a bit while we were gone," he commented, his acerbic tone missing some of its usual bite.
"No hull breaches, though," Nathan murmured, glancing at Shepard.
She forced a faint smile, appreciating the attempt at reassurance. "Take us in."
They were no more than a mile away from docking when the Reaper destroyer appeared, warping into existence with a burst of light next to the relay.
"Shepard!" Mordin shouted, pointing over her shoulder.
"I see it! Nathan, get us into that docking bay!" she snapped out, grabbing hold of the back of his seat as the shuttle accelerated. Nathan wasted no time with acknowledgements. She tapped her in-ear comm, calling the ship. "Normandy, this is Shepard!"
"I see you, Commander," came Joker's tense voice. "Speed it up, we can't hold here!"
"On it," Nathan muttered through gritted teeth, sending the shuttle swooping down, then pulling up to angle neatly in to the shuttle bay. They hit the deck with an inelegant crash, but they did it quickly.
Shepard grabbed Mordin's arm, helping him keep his feet as the shuttle slid across the deck. She keyed her comm. "Go, Joker, we're in!" she yelled.
As soon as the shuttle stopped, she darted for the door, slapping the release and leaping out. Mordin, Zaeed and Nathan were hot on her heels as she hurried for the bridge. The elevator didn't move nearly fast enough, despite the manoeuvring alarm blaring over the speakers, warning crew to strap in. She knew it was faster than taking the access stairs, but still, Shepard had to restrain herself from tapping her foot as it slid ponderously up to the command deck. "Could the Reapers have followed us?" she wondered out loud.
"Impossible," Mordin replied. "None close enough when we left Tuchanka."
"So we just got lucky?" Zaeed grumbled.
"Probably," Nathan agreed grimly. "We know they're taking out the comm buoys. This one could have just been next on their list."
Shepard grit her teeth. A Reaper had found them by sheer dumb luck? The elevator doors slid open and she slipped through. She jogged past the galaxy map, noting worriedly as she passed how many stations were missing crewmembers. What had happened at the Collector base?
The four of them burst onto the bridge, prompting a distracted glare from Joker. "Hey, Shepard," he tossed at her, quickly returning his attention to the rapidly closing Reaper destroyer on the rear viewscreen. "It's blocking our way to the relay."
She swore quietly to herself. "Can you lead it away?"
"Probably?" The comment was far more flippant than Joker was obviously feeling. "Going to try to slingshot around the planet."
"I calculate a 43% chance of success. The Reapers are now familiar with this tactic," EDI's voice commented from the overhead speaker. "However, our chances increase to 67% after accounting for superior pilot skill."
Joker smirked. "Damn straight."
The ship jerked suddenly, throwing them all to one side. Belatedly Shepard realised that with EDI elsewhere, the co-pilot's chair was empty. Before she could move, however, Nathan threw himself into it and began rapidly bringing up information. "Hit to the starboard dorsal stabilizer. Minor damage. We're good," he announced. "But the destroyer's in range."
"No kidding," Joker muttered. "Make yourself useful, Briggs, start calculating our jump."
"On it." Nathan's hands flew over the controls. "Where to?"
That was a good question. The Normandy was skimming the planet's atmosphere now, just high enough to avoid adding any extra drag. Shepard gripped the back of Joker's chair, bracing against the excess g-force the inertial dampeners couldn't compensate for as she wracked her brain for a suitable destination.
"Could go to Sur'Kesh," Mordin offered. "Salarian homeworld, still free of Reapers."
The salarians would possibly be willing to harbour them, Shepard thought, but on the other hand, maybe not after what had just happened on Tuchanka. Even so, they might be more likely than the asari, whose homeworld was also so far unthreatened. They could aim for another relatively empty system, try another game of hide and seek through the relays, but that would take precious time and judging by the condition of the Normandy's hull she wasn't sure she wanted to risk that. Better to try and take it out, and they couldn't do that alone…
Joker threw the Normandy into a sharp turn, whipping around the tiny planet and flinging them back out toward the relay. "Come on, Shepard!"
Joker had gained them a slight lead, but the destroyer was still close behind. With it so close, would they be able to make a clean jump? Even if they did, there were only limited relays tied to this one. The Reapers would probably be able to hunt them down relay by relay…
Suddenly, an idea formed. "Thessia," she ordered quickly, before she could change her mind.
Nathan cast her one quick, surprised glance, then got to work programming the course. Joker didn't spare the energy to reply, fingers flying over the haptic controls, making the Normandy dance. A beam of energy flashed past to port, barely missing the relay ahead.
"Ah," Zaeed murmured. She looked back over her shoulder at him, raising an eyebrow. "Thessia. I get it. Nice."
Scowling, she turned away, uncomfortable that the mercenary was the first to have seemingly cottoned on to her idea.
"Course programmed and set," Nathan announced.
"Hold on to something," Joker warned, and the Normandy side-slipped neatly into an approach course for the relay. Energy began to crackle along the viewports as the ship was caught in the relay's grasp. With a flash they were tossed across the galaxy, reappearing on the edge of Thessian space.
Alone. So far.
Shepard let out a cautious breath, moving over to grip the back of Nathan's chair. "Did it follow us?" she demanded.
He scanned his displays. "Not… yet."
Joker looked up at her, over his shoulder, and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You don't look as happy about that as I am. What are you up to, Shepard?"
"She's playing chicken with Reapers," Zaeed chuckled.
Mordin's eyes widened. "Seems… unwise."
Shepard tossed a glare at Zaeed. "I'm not playing games. The asari are still refusing to get involved, and we're running out of time. I think I can give them some extra motivation," she told him. "Joker, take us to Thessia. Zaeed, don't you have something better to do?" Zaeed smirked, but she ignored it and glanced at Mordin. "You too, Mordin. We'll be all right. Go and talk to Tali and EDI and the others about the Reaper data."
The scientist's face immediately brightened. "Yes. Of more use there. Trust you to take care of things up here."
Shepard smiled grimly as he and Zaeed left the bridge. Right on cue, the Normandy's comm lit up with an incoming hail. Taking a deep breath, Shepard leaned over and hit the button to receive. She hoped she was doing the right thing here. If she had miscalculated, she could be putting a lot of civilians in direct danger.
"Unidentified Alliance vessel, state your business."
"They're jumpy," Nathan muttered.
"Everyone's jumpy," Joker countered.
"Thessia control, this is Commander Shepard of the Systems Alliance aboard the SSV Normandy. I would like to request an audience with the matriarchs."
There was a pause. Joker kept the Normandy on its direct course to Thessia, and the now-visible asari fleet surrounding it. Shepard spotted an indistinct blob a little larger than the others – it had to be the Destiny Ascension. The council was probably still aboard. She smiled mirthlessly. Perfect.
"Nothing on sensors," Nathan told her quietly. His tone had subtly changed. Good, he had picked up on what she was trying to do.
A screen flickered on the comm display and the image of an older asari appeared, her skin a deep, weathered blue, her eyes intent. "Commander Shepard, I am Matriarch Velaura. I regret that we are unable to meet in person."
Shepard opened her mouth to reply, but before she could begin another comm display flickered to life. On that screen was a very harried-looking, very angry Councillor Tevos. "Commander Shepard, what are you doing here?" she demanded. "I have given you my answer multiple times! Coming in person to Thessia will not change that!"
Matriarch Velaura glanced off to one side in surprise, and Shepard realised she could hear Tevos too, and hadn't been expecting her on the channel. Interesting. "Councillor Tevos, calm yourself. Commander Shepard has not yet stated her intentions."
Tevos was clearly not happy about that, but she subsided, glaring at Shepard from behind a thinly veiled mask of calm. Shepard was a little surprised by the vitriol. She could understand Tevos being annoyed with her for seemingly trying to circumvent her decision, but the asari councillor seemed downright furious.
Well, it didn't matter. She wasn't here to speak to Tevos. "Thank you, Matriarch Velaura," she replied. "I came to Thessia because I had little choice in the matter. The Normandy is being pursued by a Reaper. I have come to ask for your aid, and protection."
"Shepard—" Tevos began, but the matriarch smoothly but firmly cut her off.
"The Alliance is a friend to the asari," Velaura replied cautiously. "However… I must say I am surprised to see you here asking for assistance, Commander. Your legend precedes you. Did you not destroy two Reapers yourself at Irune?"
"I got very lucky, Matriarch," Shepard told her honestly. "I am not in a position to use the same tactics this time. Not without assistance."
Tevos finally managed to break in. "She's lying, Matriarch. I don't see any Reapers on scan. It is as I say, she is making up stories in order to convince us to join her. To leave Thessia vulnerable!"
Shepard raised her eyebrows. What would she gain by coming to Thessia and pretending a Reaper was following her? Councillor Tevos was an astute politician, if nothing else. Bluntness and wild accusations were very much out of character. She seemed… desperate. What was she playing at?
Before she could respond, however, Nathan snapped, "Destroyer just emerged from the relay, Commander."
"Check your scans again," Shepard quickly told the two asari. "Joker, evasive manoeuvres. Matriarch, will you help us?"
The Normandy accelerated and whipped around on an angle perpendicular to Thessia as Tevos interrupted. "No, Matriarch! The Reapers only want her—they must be after her specifically, not us, if they followed her here. She should lead them away from us. We have civilians here, children, the elderly. We must protect them."
A cold feeling settled in the pit of Shepard's stomach. 'The Reapers only want her…' Tevos had covered smoothly, but the way she had said that sounded almost like she knew what they wanted. How did Tevos think she knew what the Reapers wanted?
A nasty suspicion was beginning to grow in Shepard's mind as certain events began to make sense, elements of a puzzle she hadn't realised she had been trying to solve clicking neatly together. But there was no time to address that now.
"Commander, bring the Normandy into formation here," Matriarch Velaura instructed quickly, and a beacon appeared on the Normandy's nav screens. "You can disable it, yes? We will assist."
Joker moved to follow instructions, and after a few harrowing minutes and a well-aimed blast from the Normandy's thanix cannon the Reaper destroyer hung dead in space, under the guns of the two largest asari frigates. No less than five asari ships floated inert nearby, representing dozens of dead asari soldiers.
Shepard swallowed as she looked out at them from the Normandy's bridge. Knowing how to disable a Reaper and actually doing so cleanly were two very different things. She had known there would probably be a loss of life even if her plan succeeded, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. If the asari hadn't still been stubbornly denying the reality of what they all faced...
Shaking her head, she contacted the matriarch and provided coordinates to a location from which the Reaper could be boarded, and instructions on how to trigger a dark matter explosion. As Shepard, Joker and Nathan watched, two asari shuttles quickly docked, deploying commandos. It took them roughly thirty minutes, during which Shepard held the Normandy in position, thanix cannon aimed squarely at the eye of the Reaper. When the commandos finally fled, and the order was issued to move all ships back to a safe distance, she waited, holding her breath.
The Reaper detonated in a fiery explosion. The Normandy rode the shockwave smoothly, Joker skilfully keeping their position relative to their asari companions. Shepard gripped the back of his chair, watching as pieces of metal and organic matter rained down around them. She breathed a full, genuine sigh of relief. The tactic had worked again. That meant it hadn't just been blind luck at Irune – they definitely had a sure-fire way to kill a Reaper.
"Is that what you wanted them to see?" Nathan asked her.
She nodded grimly. "That was part of it, yes. They needed to see just how devastating a Reaper can be, but also that we can destroy them. They need to know that we have hope."
"Let's hope it did the trick," Joker murmured.
She scowled out at the distant Destiny Ascension, tucked in safely behind the asari capital ships. If that hadn't convinced them, maybe what she was about to tell them would. It would be better to have this conversation with the matriarch in private, but if her suspicions were correct, they may not have time to set that up.
She keyed her comm. "Matriarch Velaura."
"Commander Shepard." Her tone was noticeably pained. "I am glad you are in one piece."
Shepard heard what she wasn't saying. "I deeply regret the loss of asari lives, Matriarch. If I had a better alternative, I would have chosen it, but the collected experience and data on board the Normandy is too valuable. I am sorry."
There was a long pause. Then, "Yes. I agree."
Shepard let out a silent breath of relief. Velaura wasn't very happy about it, but she did understand and agree with Shepard's actions. It was a good start. "Matriarch, there is something we need to discuss privately, over a secure comm channel."
"The immediate danger is past, Commander. Allow me to extend an invitation to come on board my ship so that we may meet in person."
"Thank you for the invitation, but the information I need to share with you cannot wait," Shepard told her firmly. "Can you match our encryption from your end?"
There was a brief pause. When the matriarch spoke again, she sounded ever so slightly different. "I can, Commander. This channel is now secure. What do you have to say that cannot wait?"
Shepard rested her elbows on the back of Joker's chair as she thought about how best to respond. Diplomacy had never been her strong suit. In the end she decided the only thing she could really do was be direct. There was no better way to say this. "Matriarch, I believe Councillor Tevos has been compromised."
Joker and Nathan twisted around to stare at her. She ignored them as the matriarch responded. "Councillor Tevos is a valued representative of the asari people, Commander Shepard. Perhaps you had best explain yourself."
"You mentioned my history earlier, Matriarch. The truth is that we've had a couple of victories, but only a couple. Almost every encounter we have had with the Reapers has ended in a devastating loss. They outnumber us, outgun us, outmanoeuvre us… but they also seem to consistently get the jump on us," Shepard explained. "Somehow they knew we were going to Palaven in strength. They set up the battlefield well in advance and it cost us the entire turian military… not to mention coming very close to wiping out the krogan. The trap was perfect.
"But I was careful planning that attack. Very careful. Only a select few knew about it ahead of time. Admiral Hackett and the few members of my crew who were part of the planning process have proved time and again that they remain uncompromised. That leaves only the Council."
"There are four Councillors. If it was a Councillor – and I'm not sure I agree with your reasoning yet – it could have been any one."
"Sparatus and Udina have both aided the coalition in too many ways; it is very unlikely they have been compromised. Valern and the salarians have just revealed their hand – they were holding out for reasons of their own. That leaves Tevos," Shepard ticked the council members off one by one. "Initially I believed she was withholding asari support at the behest of the matriarchs, but now I wonder. When we spoke with her before, she seemed markedly upset at the idea that you might change your mind and aid us against the Reapers. If she were acting on your behalf, why would she get so angry about that?"
"I… do not know," the matriarch admitted. "But anger is not proof of treachery."
"No, it isn't," Shepard agreed grimly. "But it adds weight to the theory that she may have been indoctrinated by the Reapers. In my experience, the indoctrinated tend to become angry and irrational when they think their plans may be coming undone."
"Indoctrinated? Councillor Tevos hasn't been anywhere near a Reaper."
"Three years ago, she and the other Council members escaped the attack on the Citadel by flying right past Sovereign on the Destiny Ascension."
There was a pause as Velaura digested that. "Yes, they flew past Sovereign, but at a distance of kilometres. Of course such a distance is very small when compared with the vastness of space, but it is significant when considering the range of indoctrination. If that is how she was indoctrinated – if she was, in fact, indoctrinated – why were the other Council members not affected as well? Why not the whole ship?"
Shepard stared out at the Destiny Ascension. It was still sitting quietly in formation, but who knew how long that would last. If she was right, and Tevos was indoctrinated… This conversation was taking too long. "We have recently discovered that the Reapers do not possess an infinite power supply, and that indoctrination requires power. Sovereign may simply not have had enough power to take over the whole ship, especially from kilometres away. Matriarch… there is a lot more I can tell you, a lot more we should discuss, but we don't have time. If I'm right, and Councillor Tevos is left to her own devices aboard the Destiny Ascension, thousands of asari lives could be in danger."
Again there was a pause, a much longer and weightier one this time. Shepard had no choice but to wait it out. Then, finally, "I will arrange for Councillor Tevos to be taken aside and questioned. If she has become as irrational as you say, she may react in a… telling manner."
With no further ceremony the channel clicked as Velaura signed off.
Nathan was shaking his head slowly, disbelief etched into his features. "Tevos sold us out? A council member?"
"We'll find out soon," she replied grimly.
"I must admit, I did not believe you at first," Matriarch Velaura told Shepard from across a small, elegant tea table in her quarters aboard the asari flagship. "But when we tried to take Councillor Tevos aside for questioning, she reacted violently. She was almost able to activate the Ascension's self-destruct mechanism before she was subdued."
Shepard whistled, shaking her head. It had been much closer than she would have liked. "I'm sorry, Matriarch. I'm not pleased to be right about this."
"I am not pleased to find you were right, either. But I am pleased to have been warned in time to prevent anything… catastrophic from happening. I thank you for that." The matriarch sighed and took a sip of her drink, a beverage very similar in taste to a strong herbal tea. Shepard sipped her own, mostly to be polite. Sipping tea was the last thing she wanted to be doing right now. "I had noticed certain… changes in Tevos' behaviour over the past few years, but never did I entertain the thought of indoctrination."
"The existence of indoctrination has only come to light in recent months, and it can be very difficult to spot," Shepard reminded her gently.
Velaura shook her head. "Even so. I can look back over the past few years and clearly see the incidents, and the decisions, I should have questioned. I believe you are right about the method of her indoctrination. The timing works perfectly. It was the Council who sent you off to fight geth at Alchera after Sovereign's defeat, was it not?"
Shepard nodded somberly. "Yes. You know, I always wondered why, after all the medals they insisted on giving me, they sent me to mop up a few leftover geth."
"I too questioned that decision, and the many that were made contrary to your advice in the following years. The evidence you provided the Council in support of your findings on the Reapers was compelling. I did not understand why nothing was being done to prepare for their arrival, but I deferred to the experience I believed the Council had in governing a galaxy full of such diverse beings. I believed the decision to be political in nature, and necessary for the greater good."
"That was… unfortunate."
Velaura lowered her head in agreement. "Yes. Commander Shepard, I believe it is now my turn to offer my apologies – to you, personally. We matriarchs – myself included – have been far too insular in our dealings with the rest of the galaxy. When one has a life spanning centuries, one gains wisdom, but often at the expense of a clear focus. If we had taken a closer hand in galactic affairs, monitored the actions of the Council a little more closely, perhaps we could have prevented some of the hardships you have faced. Perhaps we could have saved your life."
Shepard blinked as finally, after all this time, she felt the burden that had been the Council's reticence lift away from her shoulders. Some part of her had always thought that if only she could have been more convincing, provided more or better evidence, proven herself more to the Council, that maybe then they would acknowledge the existence of the Reapers and start to prepare for their coming. Velaura's acceptance of some of the responsibility meant that perhaps… perhaps it wasn't all on her.
"Thank you, Matriarch," she replied. "I agree that the galaxy could have used your wisdom. I do not, however, assign you any blame for my death. Nor for any of Tevos' other actions. That blame falls squarely on Sovereign, and Harbinger."
"I appreciate that, Commander." She took another sip of her drink, and when she raised her head, there was a new glint in her eyes. "Now, I would like to know why you thought it best to lure a Reaper destroyer directly to Thessia."
Shepard winced, but covered it with a sip of her own drink. She had been hoping she could get away with playing innocent, but she should have known better. Beings with a thousand years of wisdom and knowledge could not be fooled quite so easily. Instead, she squared her shoulders and chose honesty. "I didn't plan it," she said firmly. "We were ambushed while rendezvousing after a mission, and only just made it out of the system. There were limited destinations connected to that particular relay, and Thessia was one of them."
Velaura eyed her, knowing eyes sharp. "Was it a random selection, then? And why did you not simply disable the Reaper before running?"
Shepard gathered her resolve beneath the penetrating gaze of the matriarch, the weight of that gaze reminding her of another matriarch she had met and bested three years ago on Noveria. The only reassurance she had was that this particular matriarch did seem to want to help, where Benezia had been completely indoctrinated and only wanted to destroy. "My ship took some damage in our previous mission. I didn't want to risk a fight without support. And no… it was not a random selection," she admitted. "We needasari help fighting the Reapers. I wanted to show you why – and show you that we can fight back."
"You wanted to force our hand."
It was blunter than Shepard would have put it, but… "Yes, Matriarch. I did."
The matriarch watched her, expressionless. "I see. That is not a tactic allies use against one another, Commander Shepard."
Shepard took a cautious breath. She was right, but if Velaura was going to be blunt, so could she. "With all due respect, Matriarch, the asari have not yet acted as our allies in this war," Shepard reminded her. "We are friends, yes, but not allies. And sometimes friends need a little convincing."
The matriarch seemed to consider that answer, then stood up and began to pace, deep in thought. "Not all of us agreed with Tevos' decision to keep the asari out of this war," she mused aloud. "This became especially true after your loss at Palaven. I must tell you that I was one of those who did agree with her, however."
"'Was'?" Shepard repeated.
"Until Irune, it was a simple numbers game. Our numbers and our firepower are both vastly inferior to theirs," Velaura explained. "I did not believe it would be a sensible use of our forces to fling them against an unbreakable wall and hope to slip through a crack. Instead, I believed we should fortify Thessia and hold out as long as we could, while employing alternative means to preserve the asari species for future generations."
"And did you find those means?" Shepard asked, curious despite herself.
Velaura glanced over at her. "We found some… options. None particularly viable. The less-than-promising results of those endeavours, and your success at Irune, began to change my mind." An unsettling mix of sorrow and anger clouded the matriarch's expression. "And Tevos' betrayal sits sourly on my soul. Her actions are a blight on her people." Shepard shook her head at that – one person did not represent her whole species – but Velaura continued. "I feel we must atone for that. Commander, the asari are with you."
Shepard's spine tingled. They were the words she had been wanting to hear ever since the Reapers had first attacked. And yet, she couldn't just take them at face value. "Matriarch Velaura, I cannot in good conscience accept your offer if it is based on guilt. You need to fully understand what we are up against."
She was met with a gaze encompassing the resolute strength of a thousand years. "I believe I do understand, Commander. Your demonstration was quite… illuminating. The Reapers are powerful, and any one of them is a match for a small fleet of ours. But they are not omnipotent, and they are not invulnerable. You have proved that. The asari are with you."
