"You two managed to do it."
"It's not that easy."
"I fucking know it won't be easy, but we'll survive."
"You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Whatever the hell is up there it can't be as bad as this shit hole!"
"If you really think that's a good idea… You'll die! People will die, people you love will die up there!"
"You think I don't know that? People are dying here and more are going to. We have to go somewhere!"
"That's why I'm trying to fix this so we can stay here!"
"He already told you that man can't be reasoned with."
"I know, I'll figure something out."
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know yet. I need some time to think."
"We don't have very much time. Pretty soon he's going to get impatient send the guards over here shooting."
"I'm going to think of something."
"You can't reason with him."
"I'm going."
"Where?"
"To the Overseer goddammit!"
Amata walked out and through into the empty hall. She stopped against the wall to catch her breath, then looked up at the footsteps. Ian appeared in the doorway, face impassive, but she shook her head slowly.
"You stay here…"
He didn't say anything, only disappeared back inside. Amata took a few more minutes to catch her breath alone, then started walking. She tried to think, but it was all to confusing.
Amata could only faintly remember the way there and was glad of this. It would take longer to wander vaguely toward the Overseer, and that gave her more time to think. She just needed time to figure out what the best solution was here. This was delicate. She needed to convince him somehow. Amata touched a hand softly at her gun, but recoiled.
"No, no I need to talk to him. That's how it works outside, but it can't… not in here..."
The walk did not give her enough time to think. Amata paused around the corner and sighed heavily, she looked in and caught a glimpse of him through the window. For a moment he looked just like her father, but there was a rifle over his shoulder. So long ago, Ian had killed her father and the thought of it still made her feel angry and confused.
Amata walked around the corner and nodded to the guards outside. They watched her slowly pass then enter the office.
"It's just you this time. Are you here to surrender on behalf of those thugs in the medical ward?"
"I"m here to reach a peaceful arrangement with you."
The Overseer just looked at her for a minute. His eyes were dark and his brow was heavy.
"I'll speak with you, but I will not relent to any demands."
"Would you be willing to open the vault at all, even in a limited fashion for trade?"
"Absolutely not. This would fly in the face of Vault 101's original intentions."
"And you couldn't be swayed from that stance?"
"The Overseer is not to be argued with. He is to be obeyed. Anyone with a dissenting opinion has no place in Vault 101."
"Does that mean you would allow those who wish to leave the vault?"
"Leave the vault! That door will not open again."
Amata took a deep breath, but did not look away from his harsh eyes.
"What would you have done to the revolutionaries who oppose you?"
"Revolutionaries! I would hardly call those miscreants so preposterous a name. All who oppose me will be punished severely."
"Perhaps my father was the same as you and I never realized..."
"Your father chose me personally to succeed him."
"My father had people killed. Innocent people were killed. Jonas was beaten to death in the lab without decent provocation…"
"Jonas was an aide to James' escape. I'd say that is reason enough."
Amata took another breath.
"Would you consider stepping down so that another could become Overseer?"
He sucked in air to laugh and it started to come, aggressive and obscene. The Overseer's eyes looked devilish in that moment. Amata flicked her gun from the holster before he could look to react and fired. Allen Mack's blood splattered against the wall behind and he collapsed in a heap.
Amata leaped over the desk and ducked beneath it. Her fingers shook to eject and replace the spent shell. The guards rushed in and one of them gasped, another sounded as if he might vomit.
"You… She..."
"She killed him..."
"If you stay back you can live. Don't try to-"
One of them made a quick noise and Amata burst from behind the desk. Two were scrambling to pull up their pistols while the third was ghostly white and backing away. Amata fired both barrels in quick succession and they fell aside for a red, black spray. The third guard just stood in the doorway, arms down at his sides, pale faced and shuddering a little.
"I… I never agreed with… with any of it… I..."
"It's over now. We'll make things right."
"Most of the others are like me, they just…"
He glanced down and looked again as if he might vomit.
"I'll bring them to James' office. We'll try to help."
"That's good. We'll need help fixing things."
"Is there anything else you want me to do?"
"I don't know. We'll figure it out..."
"Okay, just… I know you won't be anything like them."
"What do you mean?"
"The Overseers before… You'll be different, I know. You've always been-"
"No. Just… just go and bring the guards. I'm not… Meet me there. I'll warn the others so there won't be trouble."
He nodded then left jogging. The sound of his footsteps echoed through her head for a long time and it was disorientating.
"I'm not an Overseer. I can't be..."
The walk back was long and quiet. Amata wiped a few droplets of blood off of her face and smeared them into her palm until the colors matched. When she reached the others they just looked at her without speaking for a minute.
"He tried to kill you. I knew you shouldn't have gone alone."
"The guards will be coming this way soon. We need to get the doors locked."
"Are you okay? There's some blood on you."
"He's dead. I killed the Overseer."
Everybody stopped and then just looked at her. Wally Mack sighed and then was the first to speak.
"Yeah… I guess… that's it… What do you want us to do now?"
It made her feel sick to hear that again and to see all the eyes trained on her expectantly. They needed someone though. If it wasn't her, it might be someone else worse. Amata sighed.
"Some guards are coming here to help us. We are going to be taking in a group from the outside and opening the doors. We will stay in the vault as a settlement, but accept trade as it comes to sustain us."
Amata looked around and noticed that a few people were missing. She didn't see Ian or Butch among the crowd, but she thought they might be together. She put it out of her mind. The guards stamped up the corridor and a look of dread shot through the people assembled. Amata did her best to resolve the tension, she walked outside to talk with the security force.
Some of the revolutionaries came out and soon enough they all started talking about the future of Vault 101. A few groups left to spread the news to the rest of the citizens. Amata's heart swelled with hope, even though she tried not to submit to that euphoric possibility.
Ian walked off through slim grey halls and looked around at the ceiling and floor shuddering. He thought of how everything here had become phenomenally and horrifically different. Ian wished that he had never come back to see this place so changed.
It was really him who changed, but he could not see himself. Only, standing at the beginning he could glimpse a reflection. His perception of the vault had changed more than the vault itself, and this was the most upsetting. Amata turned a corner sharply then ran up to him.
"What are you doing?"
"This world is always the same, but we are different and looking at it with different eyes."
She stopped with her mouth half open, then closed it and looked at the wall.
"I'd thought of that, but differently. Part of us is changing and part stays the same, and the part that stays is the same as this place."
It was very strange to know that they two alone could share this angle of understanding. Ian felt simultaneously more alone and more comfortable standing there with her. Amata looked away suddenly down an empty hall and shook her head. He looked at the back of her head and wondered what was happening there now. She didn't look back at him to speak.
"I killed the Overseer. Everything is going to be better now."
"I heard the shots… It's the same as before..."
She nodded slowly.
"You might have been right to kill him."
"What is going to happen now?"
"We need to go back and tell the others. We need to bring them here."
Ian nodded slowly and wondered if he could still remember how she was before everything. She was silent for a minute, glanced back slowly then looked away again. Ian took a deep, shuddering breath.
"Can you remember the way you were before everything?"
"I can't..."
Another minute passed quietly.
"We should leave soon to reach the others.
Ian nodded. Amata started to walk and he followed her. The winding halls were very hard to navigate now. Ian thought how strange it was to find himself lost in the passages of his home. Eventually they found the door and set it to open. They walked out through the cave and started the climb down the mountain. They continued out across the flat land, then through hills.
It was a long time traveling and the daylight began to fade. They talked a little about the future, but each word was difficult and the silences were biting. Ian wondered how long they had actually spent underground, and how long they would spend living there.
Eventually they reached the camp with a few tents and walked around until Amata found that ghoul she called Maxon. Ian looked at the scabby stump of his arm while she told him everything that had happened in the vault. He just nodded and then his face bent into a smile when she said they could enter to settle.
The three of them went around telling the others. People began to gather and pack. Some stood with weapons staring out at the wasteland, others helped the wounded or carried tents and supplies. None of it seemed real at all. Everything seemed like it was in the past already and gone. When the group gathered around them, Ian found it strange to think this was the entire remnants of Megaton.
Amata waited until everyone was standing around her, then she looked at them and started to speak in a loud voice.
"We have a place to stay now that will be strong and secure. The people there are sharing their home with us. They have never known this world, so in return for shelter we will teach them."
After that announcement they started walking. The group began to get loud the further they traveled and Ian felt very strange to move along with their cacophony. He disappeared for a while in the middle of their noise and eventually they were climbing again.
Amata led them down to the vault door and they poured inside, some stood out in the dark tunnel and looked around pensively. They followed her on through the halls, suddenly quiet within the reverberating enclosure.
Ian caught a glimpse of Amata's face and was astounded to see the pure painting of relief there. He wondered deeply how long she had been wandering. Perhaps since the time he began his own wanderings. There was a strange smell in the air, but Ian couldn't figure out the source. He looked around in search of it. He looked at different faces in the group of people surging forward and wondered what would happen to all of them.
The group headed on to his father's old office which was mostly deserted by this point. The wastelanders gawked at everything as if they were vault dwellers on the surface. Butch was sitting inside alone, smiling to himself. Amata asked him where there were some empty quarters so they could move people in, but he didn't seem very interested.
They walked out through the hall again until Amata found a couple security guards. From there they were led to a whole wing of empty sleeping quarters which the group sprawled quickly throughout.
Ian looked at it all and started to feel a little sick. He didn't want to stay here underground or be anywhere, but Amata was here. It was very uncomfortable looking around at everyone and he just thought of waking up here day after day enclosed and shaking in the noise of people.
Suddenly Ian knew he wanted to leave and be alone again, but he couldn't do it yet. Ian felt like he owed it to Amata somehow to try harder to stay here and really exist.
Amata asked one of the guards about the strange new smell, but he didn't know anything about it. He said that Stanley had been hurt though, while working on something. Her face struggled for a second, then it set with a mixture of anger and horror. She headed away suddenly and told them to follow. Ian walked after them at a distance. They met Butch a few halls away and Amata's glare stuck his grin dead.
"What the hell did you do!"
"I did a little work on the filtration systems."
"What? You mean the air? The water?"
"Both. That way the Overseer couldn't do anything but open there door."
"The Overseer is dead you idiot! I killed him!"
"I know that now! Back then I though he just shot you like the others and it got me real scared. Desperate, you know."
"Shit… Shit…"
Amata shook her head violently and then turned to the guards to say something that Ian couldn't hear. He stood at the last corner and watched from a distance, only picking up the lines they shouted.
"But he's dead, so that's good! You got the door open, I saw all those freaks from outside. Everything is good, huh?"
"It's not fucking good, we still need air and water! This might ruin everything. Do you know if there's any way to fix it?"
The guards looked at each other and shrugged helplessly back.
"Stanley's the only one who would know anything about it."
"I need to talk to him. Right now."
The guards nodded sharply.
"I'll go make sure he's awake and in the condition to speak with you now."
"Thank you… We need to start integrating people. We need to fix this shit. We need to get back to living real goddamn life…"
The three of them started walking back toward Ian. Butch hung back behind the others, looking down and utterly divided from his earlier giddiness.
Amata stood outside Stanley's room and took a breath, then shook her head. He sat up a little as she walked in. Some bandages wrapped around his middle were painted red from within.
"You've changed a lot, haven't you."
"Yes, I have. We have a problem."
"I'd assume so. There's usually a problem when the machines blow up."
"It's the filtration systems."
"That's a pretty big problem… How long has it been?"
"About a day. Is it too late to fix them?"
"I don't know. I don't… It's been too long. The filters will be clogged by now, it's all so old..."
"I would have come sooner, but you were worse then. We need to try though. Everyone is counting on this."
"Yeah, same as ever, but… Yeah, it's important. I'll give it a shot."
"You rest for a while longer and I'll find a couple of people to help you down there."
"That would be good. Thank you Amata."
She left the room and saw a couple of vault dwellers standing by the next corner, close together and whispering. One of them was Wally Mack, she watched for a minute then began to walk the other way. It would be difficult to fully integrate the two unfamiliar groups, but it was absolutely necessary. She hadn't figure out yet how to make them communicate, but there was a common goal. They stayed apart, and it worried her that they might remain two factions beyond reconcile.
With the door stuck open they might be forced to work together eventually. She glanced back down the empty corridor and hoped that the vault dwellers could adapt to this new life with the world. The thought returned her to Ian and she wondered where he was. She had seen him a few times, always alone. He didn't seem to be very comfortable here, but she didn't know what to do.
Amata thought she should try to speak with him soon, but she had been busy the whole time. Amata stopped walking for a second and stood alone past everything. She took a breath.
"I need to help everyone..."
Amata walked on and eventually saw Maxon standing near the entrance hall, talking with one of the vault's security guards. The guard looked up at her and nodded then walked away to patrol the entrance. Amata watched him pause at the threshold, then press himself over and into the dark tunnel. Maxon looked at her for a moment before saying anything.
"He hasn't mentioned my face yet."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"I don't really know, it's just weird."
"Do you think they'll be able to get accustomed to it?"
"My face?"
"No, the world outside."
"I'm certain, it will just take time."
Amata suddenly felt disorientated and looked out at the dark tunnel.
"Do you know what time it is?"
He laughed.
"Being underground really dislocates you. Come on, let's go check for ourselves."
They followed the guard out slowly, taking tentative steps through the dark tunnel. Ahead the small door opened and they headed for the glimpse of sky.
"I've seen Ian a few times, always alone in empty corridors."
Amata sighed.
"I don't know what to do..."
"I don't know if there's anything that you can or should do."
"Then why did you tell me."
"You seem to care."
They walked out onto the hillside and it was total night. Stars glimmered beyond a thick blanket of translucent smog. Amata watched the guard relieve another and they spoke for a second before parting. They were both enthralled by the stars and silhouettes of the landscape. The team up here watching the door consisted of two vault security officers and two from the outside: Greta and Phil for this rotation.
Amata and Maxon walked past them and traded soft hellos. They walked down the hillside. The air was cold and still.
"Do you really think we can just live here? Can we make it work?"
"I'd promise if it wasn't for the filtration."
"Goddamn him..."
"At least the gas here has no hallucinatory properties."
"I still don't know what to think about that."
"Think anything. It doesn't matter."
"We need to get the filtration working. I just don't know if we can. I talked to Stanley and even he seems apprehensive about it."
"Stanley is the mechanic?"
"Yes, he was hurt when Butch damaged the systems."
Maxon nodded and then they stood in silence while the night breeze passed over them, just looking around.
"When was the last time you got some sleep?"
"Too long."
"Get back in there and find a bed."
"I can't. There's too much to do."
"Go sleep. I'll handle things while you're gone."
"But the others from the vault… Will they listen to you?"
"Don't worry about it. I'll pull Frank from the door guard and we'll handle it together."
"Yeah… Okay..."
"I'll stay out here just another minute then head in."
"Okay… Goodbye… Goodnight."
Amata climbed back toward the vault and greeted the guards in reverse order. She wiped at her eyes while passing Greta and she echoed Maxon's sentiment without hesitation.
"Maxon said the same thing."
"He's right."
"I know. I'm going."
Amata walked back through the halls and looked around, slowly wandering searching for an empty room to sleep in. Eventually she just found her old room, dusty and empty. She stood looking around it and swaying. The room felt very strange to exist.
"Everything can work out now… Nothing else needs to happen..."
Amata stumbled over exhausted and tried to actually remember when she last slept. She fell onto the bed and thought falteringly about the filtration system and Stanley sleeping in his bandages. She yawned and adjusted her body on top of the old, clean blanket. She rolled over against the wall and disappeared slowly.
Ian walked through a long hall and looked around, but he was alone. Some voices floated down from another corridor so he turned to go the other way. Ian shook his head slowly, then quickly for a second and then he just looked down. He just walking, bag over his shoulder and revolver stuffed into place. He felt a little sick looking at the gun in his pocket and at his ruined arm.
He wondered if this settlement would really work, just putting strangers together into the vault. He supposed finally that it worked well enough the last time, two hundred years ago, but he felt strange. Finally Ian knew that the settlement would turn out alright in the end, but he couldn't be a part of it.
Ian passed by a few people talking and they looked at him slowly, growing quiet in his presence. The only person he really knew was Amata, but that didn't matter. Ian put his hand on the revolver grip and held tight around that. They would stare after him for a long time until he turned a corner finally.
He walked on through the long halls just steadily searching for a way out. Eventually he heard more voices and glanced over toward them. It was the exit chamber,and the guards looked at him impassively as he approached slowly.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going."
Ian walked by and into the tunnel, pushed through the lopsided door and then down the mountain into pitch dark night. Cold air bit at him and the moon shimmered weakly through tainted sky. This was just like before, terribly wrong but it was the only thing. Ian walked and stumbled and soon enough he had lost track of time in the darkness.
Ian pulled up the revolver slowly and examined it in the faint streams of moonlight. He wondered if he could fight, or if it was just a foolish prop for a nothing with only one arm. He didn't have any more bullets for it than what were already loaded in.
"It's the same again, huh… Born again just like the first time. I'm only walking away again. How long will it be before I'm killed now? I can't push it back with one arm and six bullets. I don't even know if that's important. I don't know..."
Ian pulled himself onto the ridge of a hill and looked down over the deep blue landscape. The schoolhouse hulked tall and misshapen in the moonlight. He just looked at it for a minute wondering if there would be raiders, then noticed a few silhouettes passing around the building.
"Markus died here, he was bitten beneath that place. Below, an ant from nowhere and that's it. I don't even remember if we knew about them… I saw him there, that man in the darkness. Am I afraid? I've seen him everywhere and inside my head by now. Am I afraid to see his real face?"
Ian started walking toward the schoolhouse and crouched unsteadily, kept his gun out and pointed halfway forward. He moved slowly through the deepest shadows. Ian found two raiders alone on watch and approached them through a long slit of darkness. He felt sad preparing to kill them, but knew that none of it really mattered after all.
Ian stayed hidden for a minute and just listened to them speaking wearily to each other. Nothing seemed more human than these two men grumbling about lost sleep. Ian lunged out of the darkness and struck one with the butt of his gun, the man staggered back with a muffled cry. The second started to raise his weapon but Ian knocked it away shoved the revolver against his skull.
The gunshot cut the night perfectly into noise. He ran to kick over the first and stomped on his throat twice. Ian ran back into darkness near the building and fell still as footsteps climbed to reach him. He counted out the remaining bullets, just five ready. He wouldn't be able to take a rifle now, so this was his all. Three more raiders ran into the night and Ian thought they must be scared. They didn't speak.
The sun was starting to rise and Ian knew he wouldn't be hidden long. Soon they would see his face. Ian ducked back into his dwindling shadows while the raiders split to search the area. Two passed his hiding spot oblivious, while the other moved the opposite direction. Ian shot the two nearest in the backs of their heads, then twisted his arm to fire on the third.
He missed that last shot and leaped into a sprint. Ian dropped around the corner of the building and counted two bullets left. He checked over his shoulder and the raider dropped into some cover a few yards off. Ian's breath was scraping in and out of his throat. He shook his head and held the revolver close to him.
Ian stood out of his cover and began to walk toward the raider. Ian fired once as an eye and rifle appeared, the raider ducked back and Ian was only a couple yards away. Another quick glimpse and he fired again, the raider grunted but there was nothing else.
The raider lifted his rifle out of cover and Ian kicked the barrel away. He slammed the butt of his revolver into the man's head then shoved him over haphazardly. The man tried to scramble backwards or back to his feet, but Ian took three quick steps and planted a foot on his throat. A minute of pressure broke the man's neck, and then Ian was left alone with the rising sun.
After a minute longer under sunlight, Ian pushed through the decrepit wooden doors and headed inside. It was all very strange to him, dark inside and oppressive. The walls were falling apart everywhere and fallen pieces covered the floor. Ian found a staircase and headed down.
"Will I actually find you here, or were you just another hallucination?"
Ian reached the tunnels soon. It seemed there was nothing else alive and the building just settled in around its void of inhabitants. Soon enough there would be new raiders. There were always new raiders to occupy this space. Ian just walked through the tunnels in absolute darkness and listened to his heavy breaths and scraping footsteps.
"If they want, I'll die just like him. I could be gone this moment. There's nothing so far, maybe they left. I don't know. Maybe the whole thing was a dream."
Ian put the revolver away and listened to the silence. He tried to think clearly but felt himself disappearing into the nothing of solitude in darkness. He considered just lying down and falling asleep here. It had taken hours for Markus to die, but the poison had rendered him weak and disconnected rather within an hour.
A weak flashlight turned on in the darkness ahead, the beam swiped back and forth slowly. The man just looked at Ian without speaking yet, he was alone. He looked terribly old and haggard with coarse hair over his face and black eyes, gestured slowly with one hand, but it had been cut away midway through the forearm, leaving only a brown stump. The man's eyes looked blurry and distant, nondistinct within the haze of darkness. Ian nodded and started walking forward.
"Fuck..."
"It's not working?"
"How the hell did you manage to do this?"
"I don't know, I just… pressed things..."
"Goddammit, this doesn't make any sense."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm trying to run the automatic repair, but… There's something wrong with the sensors as well."
"You mean that it-"
"It doesn't see anything wrong with the filtration system.
"I don't know… I..."
"Goddammit..."
"I'm really sorry… Fuck..."
By the hour the air became more toxic as waste was simply recycled into the atmosphere. The door was left open to get some fresh air from outside. Some people had started sleeping nearer to the exit, or even in a small group outside. It gave Amata headaches, but she shook her head slowly and coughed. The air was starting to get hot and thick with a haze.
"Is there anything you can do?"
"I don't know if I can fix this..."
"Is there anything to try?"
"I am trying. I just don't-"
"What about doing it manually?"
"I couldn't make it on my own and we only have the one mask."
"Could you explain it to someone else?"
"I don't even know what happened really. I don't understand it."
"I just… I just beat at it until something happened."
"It's too bad down there to send anyone who doesn't know what they're doing. I'm trying to define it from here, but with the sensors down… I might be able to stop the place from overheating."
"That's just one problem though. The air would still be toxic. Could you try to seal it below? Kill the air systems and then seal the lower floors?"
"It would be extremely difficult and probably wouldn't work anyway. The contaminated air is hot and rising to escape through the entrance and it's constantly being made, but… I don't really think we can stop it."
"Fuck..."
Amata wiped the sweat from her face and felt herself shaking. Maxon was looking at her with concern and Butch just kept muttering to himself desperately. Stanley sighed and looked away from the screen.
"We should go up and get some fresh air. All of us, just for a minute."
"Okay. This needs to work."
They headed upstairs slowly. Amata looked around at the shimmering layer near the ceiling of hot, toxic gases. Everyone was staying near the door, or in the tunnel or outside. They walked outside into the sunlight and Butch and Stanley both squinted with a hand over their eyes. Amata looked around the groups quickly but didn't see Ian with any of them or in the nearby area.
"Maxon, have you seen Ian?"
"He left last night."
"You mean..."
"He's gone."
"Did you know? Did you see him? Goddammit, why didn't you tell me before? Fuck… I was asleep, you..."
Maxon just looked at her calmly.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"What difference would it have made?"
"What do you mean?"
"You couldn't stop him or convince him to stay or else he would have. The only other option would be for you to go with him, but you can't do that. I'm sorry but I made the same decision you would have, except without forcing you to make it in a moment.
Amata sighed and looked around slowly. The world seemed empty past this crowded hill. She shook her head and then sat on a bit of outstretched rock.
"I'm sorry, it's just..."
"I know."
Maxon sat down nearby. Amata shook her head again but she still felt a muted anger and muddling of confusion. She tried to see what he was feeing and why, but Amata knew she didn't understand him anymore.
"If he's really gone, then he made his choice. We need to focus on the people here now and who need our help."
Amata nodded slowly and looked over at the small group sitting and standing in a close bunch.
"What should we do about the vault? Maybe we just won't be able to fix it, then what?"
"I'm starting to think we might just need to leave it behind and start somewhere else."
"We're not going to find another vault that works."
"No, I think we can start from the ground up. Build something like Megaton, or like what it was before."
"Don't you remember the last time we tried that?"
Maxon shook his head.
"There are more of us now, from Megaton and from the vault. I think we have enough people here to start a real settlement and to actually defend it."
"I don't know if the others can survive out here. It might be too much."
"You managed. They will adapt eventually."
"Goddammit… Goddammit… I really thought this was it..."
"We are still moving forward, even if it doesn't feel like that now."
"I don't know if I can give up on it yet. We still need to try."
Amata started to look around for Stanley, but he wasn't with the group beside the entrance.
"With this many people we could start building some huts and walls, build up from there. We could salvage from the vault and see if there's anything left of Megaton. If we find a place nearby, it would be good to have two sources nearby."
"We have the guns now, and the strength and people. Whatever happens, we'll fight for it together. They'll adapt, but… We need to try… I'm going to talk to Stanley. Maybe..."
Amata stood and headed over to Stanley. He was standing on a lower portion of the slope with Butch, both of them just gazing over the landscape slowly. Amata called his name as she came near and he looked around and nodded.
"I guess it's time. Let's go."
She headed back with Stanley alone, told Maxon and Butch to stay with the others. The air was hot and thick and acrid seeping out through the vault door. Everyone still inside was sitting closer to the open door, mostly sweating and worried. In the next hall Amata could feel the air pulsing around her heavily.
"If we don't fix this..."
"We'll have to leave."
"What do you think about that?"
"It worries me. It goddamn does, but I'm sure you know that."
"Do you think we'll be okay?"
"I don't know, but we'll have to try."
Ian stood in darkness with with the slow flickering grey light and the old man with just one hand. He looked over and decided this must be real. They weren't walking any more, just staying in a small chamber. It was the same man from before, watching him.
"I saw you before. I saw you here, two months ago. It seems longer, but I saw you."
"That's okay."
The man didn't look at Ian or anything else, just gazed into darkness with the dying flashlight set beside him aimed near Ian. In the distance the scraping movement of ants was audible.
"I should thank you for killing them, but there will be more. There's always more coming here any day."
The idea of it made Ian feel a little depressed but he didn't say anything. The light flickered out and they stood in darkness for a minute before the it flickered back.
"Do you live here with that ants?"
"I was too crazy to live with people. They took me in."
Ian was quiet for a minute, looked around at the darkness.
"I've been crazy."
"We're not the same."
"Why not?"
The man started walking and he left the flashlight where it was. Ian picked it up and followed after him with a few yards distance."
"I've been confused about everything and lost. I killed people I didn't need to."
"Have you ever killed on behalf of a gloved hand?"
"Do you..."
"It's not a metaphor. It's amazing that I can still speak English."
Ian looked at the man's cut off hand and wondered if he had done that himself.
"Don't look at it."
He turned the light away.
"I've been alone too long and crazy some of the time."
"I've been alone for almost two hundred years, apart from people that long at least. You're not special."
Ian looked at the back of the man's head and wondered how old he really. He didn't look like a ghoul, but how else could he be so old.
"I came from a vault two months ago but still nothing makes sense. The people don't seem real now, or anything they say."
"Which vault are you from?"
"Vault 101. It's nearby."
"I came from vault 77. That's east somewhere, but it doesn't matter where exactly."
"How did you get here?"
The man started to rub at his cut off hand for a minute in silence.
"I left it a long time ago, but nothing about that is important now."
"We seem to be the same down to our missing limbs. I don't understand why you insist we are different."
"My mind was stolen before I came to wander. Tell me. Was your arm taken or did you remove it yourself? We are nothing alike because your problems are hardly anything at all, and I don't have problems anymore. You should just deal with it."
"I've tried. I came back to live, but I couldn't."
"I don't think you did. Look at me, now. You said you can't be around people anymore, but that's bullshit. Have you seen yourself lately? You're a fucking child. Go get yourself adopted. I'm the one who can't be around people anymore, but I still prefer them to the ants. I stopped trying to talk to them decades ago. Fuck you, just get out of here and go back."
"I tried before but nothing felt right."
"Does this feel right? Is this what you want, bothering a poor old madman in his cave? You didn't even try, I can smell it on you. Of course it's not going to feel right, that will come later. If not, why don't you just go get yourself killed? Just go and leave me alone."
Ian trembled and nodded even though the man wasn't looking at him any longer.
"Thank you."
"You said you remembered me from before. Three months ago? Don't think about me anymore, just go away and don't tell anyone about me. Forget everything and go be a normal fucking boy. Don't come back."
"When I came here before, a friend of mine was killed by your ants, yet they haven't even approached me today."
"They haven't found you yet. Your friend made too much goddamn noise. You can take that flashlight with you. Somebody dropped it before and I won't need it here."
"Goodbye."
"Get out."
Ian turned and wandered through the tunnels for some time before finding his way back to the surface. The midday sun was assaultingly bright and it hurt his eyes to look around. For several long minutes the world was bathed in harsh white so that he could hardly think. When it faded back to the world, Ian thought this the same as his first rising to the surface: a new beginning.
He started walking, but felt worried and afraid to face Amata after this. He wondered what she would say, if anything to him. She would be furious. Ian checked the cylinder of his revolver and dumped out the empty bullet casings. That was all and now everything was spent. He felt alone, he felt afraid to return. It would be so much easier to walk away again and disappear or die. That would be so simple. She already expected that of him by now, she already hated him.
Ian climbed one of the taller hills and saw a large group gathering in front of the vault. He wondered if that was everyone from within, then grew closer and figured it was. He walked up to the crowd milling about in place and just stood beside their noise and turning faces. By now he wanted very badly to be in darkness alone or disappear, but then the crowd started moving.
It was a slow climb down the slope with many of the vault dwellers lagging behind the exclaim over certain new things. Everything was new to them here. Ian wondered where they were all headed, but then set the thought away after deciding that it didn't matter very much. Wherever they were headed, he would go too.
Ian looked at the sky, then at the people's faces for raw determination set in eyes and tight lips. Vault dwellers were clustered together in the center of the group, shading their eyes against the sun. He saw Amata walking at the front with two ghouls and a human beside her. Ian considered walking up to her and saying something, even just hello, but decided to stay back for now. He walked close to the rear and didn't speak. He looked around at the people and the world and listened to their rustle of movement.
