A/N: Thank you for all your patience as I travel a rocky RL path right now! This chapter is for MiaLuthor, who is my TFMU angel, and twilover76, who finally updated Changing My Course. I'm side-eyeing her about certain plot developments there, though.
All standard disclaimers apply.
Wisp
By four o'clock that afternoon, Wisp had had it. She wanted Esme and Rosalie and her kitten—she wanted to go home. Frustration was certainly an emotion she had exhibited before, but Edward hadn't ever really seen her bored, he didn't think. He wasn't even sure she knew how to be bored...not until he actually saw it with his own eyes. She was restless and cranky, unwilling to work with Emily any longer, and nothing in her backpack could hold her attention. She pushed away her teddy bear and would not open the book Emily offered her. While she did not ask for her Bob Ross DVD again, neither did she want the Mickey cartoons.
"Sweetheart," Edward said quietly, "come here." They couldn't leave yet—not without going through every box, every file. Today might be their only chance at this material, and they couldn't afford to waste the opportunity. He set aside the papers in his hand and reached out for her, not really knowing if she was willing to come to him. He remembered all too well the times she'd turned from him when he offered comfort, seeking solitude or someone else instead.
She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, body still, expression indecisive, before pulling herself to her hands and knees and crawling to him. She knocked her forehead into the side of his knee as she exhaled, shifting her body on what had to be an uncomfortable floor. Edward couldn't blame her for wanting to leave—she'd been beyond patient so far, and he understood that she needed to get back to her home, her routine, and the other people in her life.
"Wisp." He pulled her into his lap, holding her little body gently. She scrubbed her cheek against his shoulder and raised her legs, her sharp seatbones digging into his thighs as she picked at the laces of her pink Converse. "Do you want your shoes off?" He unlaced her shoes for her, then helped her wiggle her feet free. She wasn't used to wearing them, and they probably felt uncomfortably restrictive. "Hey, sweet girl. I know you want to go home. I get it—I do. But we have to finish up here first. Can you understand that?"
Wisp shifted in his lap, and he felt her unhappy sigh. She might not understand his reasoning, but she understood well enough that they weren't going home.
Really, he couldn't blame her for her reticence. She had no idea what they were doing in this place, hours away from everything she found familiar. She'd been exposed to parts of her past he was sure she'd rather forget, and he couldn't really explain to her why. She trusted him to keep her safe, but that didn't mean she liked any of this. How could she? His Wisp was very much a creature of habit: she felt safe with familiar people and routines. They'd taken all of that away from her during this trip, and she had nothing to cling to except her trust in him, her belief that he would neither harm nor abandon her.
When he thought about it that way, Edward couldn't be frustrated with her. They'd asked a lot of her this trip—more, perhaps, than they had a right to, and her cooperation hinged entirely on the relationship of trust and affection they'd built. While she accepted Emily, Edward wasn't naive enough to believe Wisp would have behaved even half so well without him. If Emmett and Emily had tried to take Wisp on this trip by themselves, she would have had a meltdown the minute they put her in the car. He'd placed a great deal of stress on his relationship with Wisp by asking this of her, and so far that bond was strong enough to take it. But he didn't want to push. As much as he knew she trusted him, there was a breaking point somewhere, and he needed to keep well away from that, for his own well-being as well as hers.
"Hey, sweetheart," he said, stroking her hair. She hadn't napped at all today, too keyed-up in the unfamiliar environment, and he knew she had to be tired. Her body, at least, had worked unusually hard in the pool, and he bet her mind could use a rest, too, after working with Emily. He hugged her close and slid a gentle hand over her shoulder, up the slender line of her throat, coaxing her head to find its accustomed spot on his shoulder. She was restless, her weight shifting on his legs, and she bent her knees, reaching out to rub her socked feet as she stretched and wiggled her toes. Yes, her feet must have been sore after two days in the pink Converse. He'd have to get her used to shoes slowly, giving her body time to adjust.
"Shh..." He adjusted her on his lap, trying to stop her sharp little seat from digging into his thighs. "Do you think you could sleep, little Wisp? I bet that would make you feel better." It would certainly make their job easier.
But, no, Wisp did not want to nap in this unfamiliar place. She whimpered, trying to curl into a little ball on his lap, and Edward winced but said nothing at the feel of her sharp angles moving against his muscles. He tried to continue looking through the boxes of paperwork, but it was much more difficult with a grown girl on his lap. Particularly since she wouldn't hold still, twisting with restlessness, shifting her little self against him.
"Home," she begged, a whine much more suited to a toddler than a twenty-year-old. "Home, Edward."
"I know, sweetheart. I know." He put down the manila folder he'd been trying to look through, unable to concentrate on the preacher's cramped handwriting with Wisp unsettled in his lap.
"Ed, we gotta finish this." Emmett glanced at them over a stack of boxes. Emily, leafing through files on the other side of the table, flicked her dark, intelligent eyes toward them, then back to her papers.
"I know." Edward felt the telltale tightness in his jaw that told him a headache was brewing. He knew they had a job to do here. Yeah, he sucked when it came to denying Wisp what she wanted, but that didn't mean he was going to just abandon what they'd come here for. This was more important than a few frustrated tears, which he suspected were coming. "Just...chill, okay?"
Instantly, the girl in his lap froze. Though he'd been talking to Emmett and not her, his tone was enough to set her off.
"Fuck," he muttered. "Wisp..."
The first tears fell.
Emily did not step in, nor did Edward ask her to. She wasn't Wisp's nanny. Instead, he pulled Wisp's tense body closer, situating her in his lap and holding her tighter. She ceased her restless movements, but her quiet, whimpering cries told him plainly that she was not happy. She pushed her face into the crook of his neck, hot, damp skin sliding against his throat. "Shh..." He tried to hush her, but she wasn't interested in being calmed. "We can't go home yet, little Wisp. What's the next best thing? What else can I do?" She didn't want the teddy bear as a replacement for her unavailable Pet. And there really was no replacement for the two women she loved most, Rosalie and Esme.
Replacement, no. But maybe... Edward dug in his pocket for his phone.
"You're awfully patient with her." Emmett shuffled a stack of papers into a folder and grabbed for another.
Edward grimaced. That wasn't how he saw it at all. "It's not patience," he said, tugging at his phone. "It's just...a refusal to treat her how she's always been treated. I'm not going to order her to sit still and shut up. I can't. Not when that's probably what she's been told to do her whole life."
Emily looked up from the papers in front of her, a slow smile spreading across her face.
"What?" Edward tightened his grip on Wisp, uncomfortable with the strange look from her therapist.
"You're her Teacher."
Edward frowned. "I'm her caregiver."
"No, you misunderstand me. Not lowercase-t teacher. Uppercase-T. Teacher. That's what Helen Keller called Anne Sullivan, the woman sent to try to tame her when she was just a child. There are some beautiful lines from The Miracle Worker—hold on." She pulled out her own phone and tapped at the screen. "Listen," she said, after what was presumably a search for the text she wanted. "I taught her one thing: no. I wanted to teach her what language is. I wanted to teach her yes. I know without it, to do nothing but obey is—no gift, obedience without understanding is a blindness, too." She looked up from the screen and smiled at Edward again. "You see?"
Edward saw. It was how he felt, to a certain extent. All her life, Wisp had been told no. She didn't have to tell him so; he knew it by her fears, her actions, every breath in her body. She'd been shaped and molded by the word no. By the power of men to compel her to obey.
Now he wanted to teach her yes. It didn't mean she could have her own way all the time. He wasn't stupid enough to believe that. This was about something more profound, something deep inside of her that needed to hear the constant refusals negated, time and time again, over and over, until her brain learned new pathways, new patterns of thinking, and abandoned the rhetoric of fear that kept her holed up inside herself. This wasn't something he could just sit her down and explain. Really, what she needed wasn't "teaching" at all. Not yet, anyway. Right now, she just needed love, and time.
And yes.
Pulling his phone free, Edward unlocked the screen and dialed Esme. He ignored the notification of new voicemail that popped up when he unlocked it—that was obviously Tanya, who'd called him when they were still at the hotel. He'd deal with whatever she wanted later; today he had more important things to worry about. He found Esme's number and pressed Send.
She answered on the fourth ring. "Edward! Is anything wrong? Have you found something?"
Edward exhaled, long and low. "You could say that."
"Really? What?"
"A lot, I think. Look, I'll fill you in later, I promise, but that's not why I called."
"Is Wisp all right?"
One side of Edward's mouth lifted. Esme had the mind-reading abilities of a true mother. "She's kind of at the end of her rope, actually," he said, shifting the arm still holding her to him. "We've got some more work to do here, but she's really...homesick, I guess? I don't know what else to call it. She just needs to hear you, I think."
"Give her here, poor baby," his aunt said, her voice achingly gentle across the connection. Edward set Wisp back on the ground and offered her the phone. "Here," he said, holding the device out to her. "It's Esme, little Wisp. She's going to talk to you, okay?"
"Mother?" Wisp looked skeptical, until Esme's gentle voice floated from the little black rectangle Edward pressed into her hand.
"Wisp, honey. Sweet thing, how are you? I know you're probably anxious to get home. You tell me all about it."
"Mother." The aching desire in Wisp's voice was hard to take. She wanted to be back with Esme; that was clear enough. "Mother. Home?"
"Soon, baby. You'll be on your way home to me soon. And guess what happened while you were gone today? Alice took Pet to the veterinarian and her cast was removed. You'll have to play gently with her, but she can walk all right."
Edward did his best to tune out the soft female voices, struggling to keep his mind on the paperwork so they could get the hell out of there as soon as possible. Esme's soothing words flowed from the phone, interrupted now and then by Wisp, but the girl was more or less content to listen to the voice from home. She tucked her knees up to her chest and leaned her head against a table leg, staring at the phone as she held it.
"I've been told I need some kind of magic patience pill," Emmett said, grinning at Edward before dropping his eyes to his paperwork again. "For when the baby comes, you know? Here I thought you had it all worked out, but I guess not."
"Nah." Edward shook his head. "I just take it one day at a time."
Emmett chuckled. "One dirty diaper at a time—that'll be my motto."
They worked a while longer, all hurrying now, as the number of files left to go through dwindled. Esme's voice stopped, but Edward only registered the fact in the back of his mind as he leafed through a stack of handwritten notes that looked to be partially in Latin, though because of the preacher's atrocious spelling it was hard to tell. Squinting at a patch of text obscured by a grease stain, he thought he made out the word adonai.
"Hello? Hello?" A female voice filtered through his brain, neither Wisp's nor Emily's. "Edward, I know that's you. Don't pretend you butt-dialed me."
He turned his head toward the vaguely-familiar voice, watching as Wisp scrunched up her nose and stared at the phone in her hand. She poked at the screen, which, since a call had already been put through, did nothing. "Edward?" she said, cocking her head to the side. "Mine. My Edward."
"Edward?" The voice on the phone grew louder. "What the hell is this?"
Yeah, he knew that voice. It was Tanya, his ex. Either Wisp had accidentally called her while playing with the phone, or she'd called back for the second time that day.
"Edward, I don't know what kind of joke you're trying to play, but this isn't funny."
"My Edward," Wisp informed the phone, frowning.
Edward reached out and took the thing back. Giving Wisp the phone to hold had clearly not been his best idea. She whined her displeasure, rising to her knees. "Mine!" At first, Edward thought she meant the phone, and had mistaken it for a gift, but she didn't reach for the little black rectangle at all. Instead, she wound her arms around his near leg, holding on tightly. "My Edward," she told the phone once more. "Mine."
"Edward!"
Fuck. Tanya definitely sounded irritated. Hastily, he lowered the volume and held the phone close to his face. "Yeah," he said, clearing his throat. "Tanya. Hey."
"What the hell was that? Who had your phone?"
It was a voice he remembered very well, now that he was paying attention to something other than that damn half-literate preacher's scrawl. "Sorry; I was distracted. I'm kind of in the middle of something right—"
"You're always in the middle of something. Research, writing, getting ready for speaking gigs. You never just take time to chill."
This had been one of the biggest arguments leading to their breakup. Edward had a great deal of respect for Tanya and in many ways they'd fit together well, but they didn't have anything like the same idea of what "chill" meant. He enjoyed a quiet life, doing his work, visiting with family and friends. Tanya believed strongly in leaving work at work, which just wasn't possible for Edward, and she needed a much more social personal life. She craved the noise and crush of clubs, hip restaurants, the city's nightlife. Staying home bored her, and her frenetic schedule was too much for Edward. They'd parted amicably, even a little wistfully, just a few months before Wisp came into his life.
"Well? Who was that?"
Edward scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. Yeah, that was gonna be difficult to explain, and he wasn't looking forward to trying. "Just an accident," he said, hoping she'd drop it. "I told you, I'm in the middle of—"
"Are you working with human subjects? That sounded like a kid. I thought you were into theoretical stuff, and didn't like working with actual people?"
Edward stifled a dark chuckle. Her guess was so right and so wrong at the same time. "No," he said slowly. "Not a kid. But—"
"My Edward." Wisp reached for his arm, trying to tug it toward her. She scowled at the phone and the unfamiliar female voice coming from it. "Good Edward. Mine."
"Edward, what the hell?"
"It's complicated, okay?" He gently unhooked Wisp's fingers from his arm, which only deepened her scowl. "Tanya, can I call—"
"Look," she went on, "I tried to email you a while back, but I don't know if you got it. I decided to go to Venezuela for a while, kind of...I don't know. Clear my head doesn't sound quite right. Anyway, I'm back in Seattle, and I wanted to, you know, meet up with you. We did say we were going to stay friends."
Yeah, they had. Edward did remember saying that, but he'd assumed neither of them actually meant it. Did anyone really mean it? To him, "let's be friends" was just a way of taking the sting out of goodbyes. A modern social nicety.
Apparently Tanya didn't see it that way.
"C'mon. I know you're always stupid busy, but you can spare one evening, can't you?"
"Dude, say yes!" Emmett hissed.
Edward stared at him.
"Adult time," Emmett mouthed, wiggling his eyebrows.
Right. Like that was going to happen. Edward had absolutely no interest in a one night stand with his ex.
"He has a valid point," Emily murmured, too quiet for the phone to pick up. "It would be good practice at spending time apart." She glanced significantly at Wisp, kneeling at Edward's side and hugging herself to his leg with one arm.
And that, at least, Edward could admit was sound advice. After Emily's questions earlier about what Wisp was—a beautiful young girl—and whether that played a role in his desire to keep her with him, he was eager to prove to himself that he didn't want her like that. She wasn't his girlfriend. She was his ward. Ordinarily, he didn't doubt or second-guess their relationship or how he felt, but Emily's questions in the pool had shook him deeply.
And he found himself saying, into the phone, "When?"
Tanya named a date about a week out, stating that she had some family commitments before then. Edward took a deep breath. It was just one evening, he told himself. Just an evening to give both he and Wisp a chance to do their own thing.
Wisp tugged at his arm again, hard. "Mine!"
"Wisp, no." He said it as gently as he could, squeezing her hand as he removed it from his arm. "Okay, Tanya."
"Okay? Yes?"
"Yes," he agreed.
Wisp dropped to her butt on the hard floor, her scowl fierce and angry. "Fuck!"
The word was crystal-clear; there was no mistaking it for something else.
Edward muttered something to Tanya about explaining later and ended the call. He stared at a furious Wisp, then at Emily, who looked suspiciously like she was trying not to laugh. "Who taught her that word?" he demanded, shifting his eyes to Emmett.
"Don't look at me!" Emmett held up his hands in a gesture of innocence. "I am a paragon of manners!"
Realistically, Edward knew they all tended to swear around Wisp and expecting her not to pick up on those words was ridiculous. But that mockery of a phone call with Tanya had thrown him, and he felt all out of balance. His old life and this new one crashed against each other like tectonic plates, and he braced himself for the inevitable earthquake to come. Was this how Wisp felt, when he carried her into Dr. Gerandy's house?
Speaking of Wisp...
Her furious little face was red with anger when he looked back at her. She stared at him defiantly, those big brown eyes narrowed, her pouty mouth firmed in an unhappy line. She said nothing, but she didn't lower her gaze, either.
"Wisp..." Edward tried, but he had no words. What the hell was he supposed to say? If he told her not to swear, that would just make him a hypocrite, and besides, she was a grown girl. He didn't see why she couldn't swear if she wanted to. He was positive she hadn't dialed Tanya, or accepted her call, on purpose, so that wasn't something he could scold her for, either. And everyone around her talked into their phones all the time—she was just doing what she saw them doing. Really, she'd done absolutely nothing wrong. Not from her perspective. He felt close to joining Emily in a good laugh.
Until Wisp reached out, grabbed his phone from his hand, and threw it across the room.
It hit the wall with a heavy thud, then dropped to the floor, screen-side down. Edward watched Wisp's furious expression turn to horror. Her body jerked once, like a doll being grabbed, and began to tremble uncontrollably. A low keen, just a breath above a whisper, left her mouth, and she shakily pushed herself under the conference table, refusing to meet Edward's eyes.
Three seconds passed. Then five. Edward could hear his pulse in his ears, and Wisp's shallow, frightened breaths. "We need to go home now." Wisp was done. She needed to get out of here.
"Yeah." Emmett didn't argue, instead placing files back in boxes.
"I'm not punishing her for that." Edward looked at Emily, feeling belligerently determined. Wisp was punishing herself enough for the both of them.
Emily shook her head. "No one ever said you had to."
Wisp cried softly for the first part of the drive home, more out of exhaustion and relief than anything else. She attached herself to Edward's side, as close as their seat belts would allow her, and he held her as she cried into his shirt. The screen of his phone had cracked badly and the battery didn't quite fit right anymore; he was sure he'd need a new one. But he refused to scold her; she knew the moment she'd done it that throwing his phone was wrong, no matter how angry she'd been. He wasn't going to beleaguer the point. Not over a mistake made in the heat of anger. Just why she'd reacted so strongly to his conversation with Tanya, he didn't know. She didn't act like that when Rose or Alice or Esme talked to him. He could only assume that Tanya being a stranger caused Wisp's outburst, and he promised himself to take more care in the future.
"Why'd you tell me to meet Tanya?" he asked Emmett, instead, as Wisp's sobs trailed away and she finally began to doze against his shoulder. "You never really liked her, and Rose hates her."
Emmett shrugged, his eyes on the dark road. "Who cares if I don't like her? I'm not the one going on a date with her."
"It's not a date!"
"Well, you need to go on dates. Even just casually. No one's asking you to marry her."
"What do you mean, I need to go on dates?"
"Can't spend the rest of your life watching Peter Pan with your little Wispy girl." Emmett glanced at him through the rear-view mirror. "I mean, you could. But you shouldn't."
"Emmett's right, Edward," Emily added. "It's not about the fact that you're going to meet your ex. It's about doing something, anything, with another adult who's on your emotional and mental level."
Edward gave up trying to argue, watching the road slip by as they drove further and further from the little backwater town that held so much hurt for Wisp. Never again, he promised her silently as she slept lightly, fitfully, against his shoulder. She'd never have to go back there again. All that pain was behind her, and in front of them lay the road home, where Esme and Carlisle were waiting to welcome them with open arms, Pet getting used to walking without her cast once more.
A/N: For those of you worried about Tanya entering the story...chill, lol! I promised a happy ending, and what kind of happy ending would it be if Edward ended up with someone else?
Thank you so much, every one of you, for your kind words and support. Wow, we made it to 50 chapters!
