Chapter 54:
In his hand, Erik carried what appeared to be a silver dagger.
Panicked, I slipped from the stool and started to back away from him.
"Plea…please…please don't…don't hurt m…m…me. I…I…no…"I sobbed and begged as he stood and watched me.
When I could back up no farther I slid down the wall.
Cowering in fear of him I watched as he slowly approached me.
"Please Erik, please don't kill me. I will learn to obey you. I will not try to run from you again. Just please, please, please don't cut me." I begged.
Knelling in front of me, Erik tipped my tear stained face up and looked into my eyes.
"Do you truly think me so heartless Lesta as to bring you back here just to slit your pretty throat?" He said as he ran his fingers down my neck and across my throat.
"I…I…I don't know. You have been cruel be…before. And…and after…after what…what I've…I've done…I…I just don't n…know." I sobbed.
"Oh My Dear sweet Lesta, you should know by now that I would rather die than harm you."
"Then why..? Why do you threaten me with that…that dagger? If it is not be used on…on me, then why have you brought it here?"
Placing the dagger on the floor Erik reached up and ripped his shirt open.
Grabbing my wrist in his right hand, he retrieved the knife from the floor with his left.
Then forcing the dagger into my hand, he held the point of it against his chest over the place where his heart lay.
"I have brought this dagger for you to end my misery. For it will be less painful to have it plunged into my heart than to be forced to live without you."
Watching the blood trickle down his chest where the blade had begun to pierce his skin I cried out "No Erik. Please stop! Do not do this!" as I tried to pull my hand and the dagger away from him.
"But My Dear is this not what you want? You are the one that hurt me! You almost had me convinced that you cared for me. That you could even look beyond my mask and care for the man beneath! And then you left me! You ran from me as I slept believing your lies! So my Dear Wife let us finish this. End my life and free yourself from me!"
"NO! This is not what I want! I do care for you Erik." I cried.
"LIES!!!" He roared. "No one cares for a monster like me! You proved that this night. You lied to me. You kissed me and you lied to me." Then laughing maniacally he said "You even allowed me to join with you in your bed. I say end this! End my accursed life and claim your freedom."
"I am not lying when I say I care for you. I do care for you. But I also fear you. That is why I ran from you. I did not want to join with you, but I feared if I said no you would have become violent and hurt me. Please Erik, believe me. I know I have hurt you and I deserve to pay for that pain which I have caused. So please let us put this dagger aside."
Tears streamed down my face as I spoke. And I prayed that Erik would hear me and believe what I said for it was the truth. I did care for him.
Feeling his grip weaken I pulled the knife away from his chest and placed it behind me on the floor.
"I…I did not…You should have said that you did not want me and I would not have taken you. I am a Monster not to even realize that I was hurting you. Oh Lesta, I should be castrated like a beast for what I've done." He cried as he began to back away from me. "You were right to have left me. I should return you to the Daroga. But I can not. Forgive me Lesta, but I can not." Grabbing me and pulling me against his chest he whispered "I am a selfish beast and must have you. Even if I must live with the torment of never being able to 'touch you' again, I can not loose you."
Standing and lifting me in his arms he cared me to the bed.
Laying me down with my head on the pillows he sat beside me and said "Rest now Lesta." as he smoothed my hair from my face.
Lifting my hand to his lips he placed a gentle kiss in my palm.
As he stood to leave me I said "Erik. Where will you be?"
"Why do you ask Lesta?" He asked warily.
"I…I was just wondering. I know you need your rest too."
"Do not worry yourself about me. I will be fine."
Then he left the room.
Tossing and turning I was plagued by nightmares of being chased through an endless maze of darkness.
Gasping I bolted up in the bed.
I could hear strange sounds coming from beyond my door and wondered what it could possibly be.
Then I noticed that Erik had left my door ajar.
Slipping from beneath the covers I tiptoed to the doorway.
Pulling it open slowly I peeked out.
What I saw filled me with revulsion and horror.
I saw Erik nearly naked kneeling on the cold stone floor with some type of whip in his hand. Raising it again and again he brought the leather ends down upon his back over and over again.
Rushing to him I tried to pull it from his grasp before he could do any more damage to himself.
Shoving me away he said "Don't..! I must be punished for the things I have done to you. Three times now I have taken you against your will. And for that I will bleed."
Raising the whip he began to beat himself again.
Lounging myself at him I tore the whip from his grasp with a strength and a fury I did not know I possessed.
Then turning I fled from him.
Running into the tunnels, I ran until I collapsed onto the dirt and stone ground.
