"Let's see if your mami is awake." I hear Brittany say quietly outside of the door.

I've been lying in bed in and out of sleep for the past two hours or so, after leaving the hospital for a second time this afternoon. After our trip this morning, Brittany and I decided that we wanted my abuela to be able to see the kids one last time. So we came home and got the three of them and took them to see her, who was progressively worse than when we saw her that morning. Her eyes were open so we were able to hold up the girls to her, and let her see them, I saw the small smile she tried to muster up when she stared at them and when Brittany held Sebastian over to kiss her on the cheek I watched a lone tear slide down her cheek. Bellamy gave her a big gummy smile, which made me tear up because I know my abuela wanted to see them grow up. Yasmin was a little more reserved but after some coaxing from Brittany, she smiled at my abuela as well before turning and hiding her face in Brittany's chest, she's so shy sometimes, cutest thing ever. After Brittany took the kids out of the room I said another prayer for my abuela and bowed to her before kissing her one final time, and leaving the room. I walked right into Brittany's arms, letting her hold me tightly and kiss me on the cheek while she rubbed my back before I mustered up the strength to leave the hospital. I picked up Bellamy, who was smiling at me and kissed all over her face as Brittany carried the other carrier and held Sebastian's hand. We took a long walk through the neighborhood, wanting to spend some time with the kids and try to take our minds, well my mind mainly, off of everything. The weather was gorgeous so we got out the strollers and let the kids get some fresh air. Sebastian pointing everything he could identify out to his sisters, Bellamy excitedly looking around, while Yasmin laid back and just relaxed for the ride. We went to a little park and let Sebastian run wild for a while laying down with the girls, having some tummy time with them. When we got back to my parents house we put everyone down for nap, Brittany had some calls to return to some tenants so I told her to handle that while I laid down myself. We got a call from the hospital around an hour ago so while the rest of family rushed out there, Mathias and Aliana included since they landed this afternoon, I told Brittany I didn't want to go back, so she offered to stay with me back at the house.

"It looks like she's awake." Brittany sings to Bellamy and Yasmin, peeping in through the crack in the door she opened before walking in carrying both of them, Yasmin holding on to Bellamy's shirt while she stares at her big sister, which immediately makes my heart swell.

"Hola ladies." I smile as Brittany leans down and hands Yasmin to me, her glancing back up to Brittany before grabbing on to me and smiling. "Hola Yasmin, hola Bellamy." I sing to them as Brittany sits down next to me with Bellamy in her lap. "Where's Sebastian?" I ask her in Spanish.

"Downstairs watching a cartoon and having a snack, I just wanted to come check on you and didn't want to leave the girls down there." She replies, staying in Spanish, which she usually does when we are in Lima, a sign of respect she said for my parents.

"Sorry, I'll come downstairs and start some dinner, I know Sebastian should be hungry by now." I sit up, Yasmin staring at me the entire time, so I kiss her and smile when she laughs and blushes lifting her hands to her face when her pacifier falls out. I lean over and kiss Bellamy, who kicks her legs and squeals happily as well.

"We can just order a pizza." Brittany tells me.

"I need to cook." I reply, rolling my head around to try to release some pressure from my neck. Yasmin starts to bounce in my lap so I hold her waist and bounce my knees with her, kissing the top of her head before laying her on her stomach on the bed, Brittany doing the same thing with Bellamy. Them both staring at each other before Yasmin turns to stare at me intently, Bellamy busily staring at her sisters bright red shirt.

"Not tonight." Brittany shakes her head. "I'll order pizza. You need to keep your mind clear, cooking just forces you to push things to the side in your head and try to forget about them...I don't want you to keep doing that. We'll order pizza and hang out with the kids until everyone gets back from the hospital."

I know Brittany is right, cooking is how I avoid things in the real world. I like to cook and just focus and obsess over that and let things fester and build up, then I end up snapping at Brittany, which I don't want to happen either. She's been so amazingly supportive of me through this whole ordeal and I honestly do think the best thing for me right now is to be around her and the kids, not cooped up in the kitchen cooking.

"How about I order from BreadstiX?" I suggest. "I can go pick it up for us."

Brittany picks up Yasmin to have her sit up after having Bellamy sit, opening their legs into Vs to help them and arranging pillows behind them. I smile at how good Bellamy is doing, a big gummy smile on her face as she stares at her sister, who immediately tips over. Brittany picks up Yasmin laughs at the frown on her face before rubbing her stomach, keeping her from screaming.

"You're okay, sweetheart, just an uh oh." Brittany smiles. "That sounds really good, Sanny, we can get Bash some mac n cheese with chicken in it, he liked it last time we were here."

I nod and grab my cell phone to call the restaurant, laughing at myself for still having it on speed dial even though we aren't in Lima that often.

"Momma, Bach all done." Sebastian runs in quickly and climbs in the bed, kissing Bellamy on the cheek, since she's the closest to him, which tips her over.

"Gentle, Crespo." I remind him as I help Bellamy sit back up and set a toy in her lap, her eyes widening at the bright colors, Yasmin looking at the toy as well and reaching for it.

"Good job." Brittany nods, giving him a high five.

"What do you want, bee?" I ask her, patting Yasmin's foot, and laughing when she stares at my hand with a frown. "You can't be grumpy everyday. Mami needs all your smiles today, all the smiles you can give me."

Yasmin stares at me before suddenly smiling and laughing.

Brittany winking at me and rubbing her back as Sebastian stands up and leans on my shoulder. "Kids are the best medicine and spinach lasagna is fine."

I nod to her and turn my head to kiss Sebastian quickly on the cheek. "Hola."

"Hola." He nods before jumping off the bed.

"Be careful." Brittany sighs, watching him dig in the box of toys and pull out a ball before climbing back in the bed and rolling it to Bellamy.

After I order, and almost have a heart attack when I learn that they now deliver, we grab the kids and take them downstairs, laying the girls on the floor to play while Sebastian plays with his blocks to the side. I'm sitting on the couch, reading Tweets and comments about Aunty Snixx when Brittany sits behind me and starts to massage my shoulders.

"You know I'm here for you, whatever you need." Brittany tells me.

"I know." I nod to her and lean back relaxing more into her embrace while we watch the girls play, Yasmin getting frustrated when she can't reach something, while Bellamy would just stare at her grunts and whines.

"Yazzy Bear..." I sing softly. "Calm down mami."

She starts to kick her legs angrily while she whines louder as Sebastian looks up from where he's playing and runs over towards her. "What's wrong Jazz?" He asks, lying on the floor in her face, which makes her scream louder.

"She wants the purple thing." Brittany tells him. "Hand it to her."

Sebastian smiles and grabs it quickly and sets it in front of her, lifting her hand and setting her it on the toy. Yasmin stares at her hand and screams louder before realizing she has the toy she wants and turns off the dramatics and the waterworks in a flash, staring at the toy while patting it with her hand now.

"Thank you Sebastian." I nod. "You are such a good big brother."

"Bach help Jazz." He nods in agreement before placing a toy in Bellamy's hands as well, her squealing in appreciation, and staring at the toy happily.

Yasmin starts to scream again so Brittany gets up and picks her up before coming to sit back next to me and opening her shirt. "I think she's hungry." She decides after checking her diaper.

I watch Brittany lean back as Yasmin quickly latches on and start to eat quickly, I decide to let them bond since they are staring at each other and get on the floor with Bellamy with gets excited and smiles at me. "You are always so happy, you get that from your momma." I tease, glancing up at Brittany who nods in agreement.

"Yazzy is a grump like mami." Brittany then teases back.

"Hey." I frown. "Not always." I then add while smiling when Bellamy reaches for my face and I start to nibble on her fingers, which takes her off guard and her eyes widen before she smiles.

We spend the next hour while we wait for dinner just playing with the kids, after Yasmin ate, Brittany fed Bellamy, before the five of us laid on the floor and played. The girls practicing rolling over, Yasmin being a pro at it, but Bellamy being a little more reserved with her attempts. When dinner arrived Brit and I put the girls down for a nap, while we ate dinner with Sebastian, him telling us some crazy story about him and Brownie and Chef, that was complete with Batman, Cheetos, Legos, and giant red thing, that's what he kept calling it. After dinner Sebastian focused on his Where's Waldo book, determined to find him to show my dad while Brit and I sat on the floor and went over some different names for new cupcake ideas. Brittany wants to name some cupcakes and sell them in packages for a limited time, which I think is a great idea, so we are brainstorming flavors.

9pm

"All three kids are fast asleep." Brittany smiles as she walks back into the living room of my parents' house where I'm looking out the window.

"Good." I nod to her, before I turn and look out the window again. I feel Brittany kiss me on the cheek before resting her hand on mine and squeezing in support before walking away. I watch her sit down on the couch and turn on the TV, almost ignoring me, but I know she's not. One of the best things about Brittany and what I love most about her is that she's able to anticipate what I need and what I want. She knows that right now, I just don't want to talk, and it's nothing personal against her or anything like that. She knows that I need to just have some time to think, so she after we gave the girls a bath, she grabbed them both and went to the other bedroom so she could get them diapered, dressed, and ready for bed. Even though it's something we try to do together every night, she knew I just wasn't up to it; I didn't even have to say it. So while she did that, I came down here and have been looking out the window, waiting for my parents to come home.

"I think this is a new episode of Chopped." Brittany says after ten minutes or so. "Can you explain some stuff to me, I'm lost on some of the ingredients."

I turn and raise an eyebrow at her but nod and walk over, sitting down extremely close to her on the couch. She doesn't embrace me at first, she instead points to the TV when they zoom in on something.

"What's that?" She asks.

I squint and cock my head to the side slightly. "It's looks like black garlic." I reply softly.

"Oh..."

"It's really good if you make it into an aioli" I continue, leaning into her embrace, I lean on her thigh as I start to relax a little more, I feel Brittany slip her hand up under my shirt and start to rub my back. "It calms down the in your face taste of raw garlic, this is softer and has a more pasty feel to it."

"Have you ever cooked with it?" She asks as I relax further into her, and lay across her lap, leaning on the arm of the couch. She pulls my ponytail down and starts to massage my scalp, which feels amazing.

"Once, remember in Chicago? That dinner 50th birthday party I did?" I shift so I can lift my legs up on the couch and glance up at her. I can tell she's thinking hard because she sticks her tongue out a little before nodding quickly. "I used it there as a dipping sauce for some appetizers."

"Hmmmm." She hums softly. "Did I taste it?"

I shake my head at her. "No, remember when I bought them the store didn't have a lot, so we didn't taste any. It's kind of hard to find, but I'm sure I can track some down in New York if you want to try."

"Sure, sounds good." She leans down and kisses me softly on the lips. "I love you." She says sternly, looking me deep in my eyes. I know she's saying it as more than just the words right now, and there's a deeper meaning and reasoning for her saying it, she wants me to relax as much as I can right now. She wants me to know that she has my back through this whole thing, which I already know, but I appreciate her reiterating it.

"I love you, too." I reply, staring up at her, a small smile on my face.

"You look tired, you're mentally exhausted and it's wearing on your body. Do you want to head to bed, or at least lay down?" She suggests.

I open my mouth to respond, and actually protest because I want to wait for my parents to come home, and give an update.

"We can just lie in bed, I know you are waiting to hear back from the hospital." She adds.

I shake my head suddenly. "Sleep sounds good." I tell her, standing up and pulling her up with me.

She turns the TV off and leads me upstairs, she showed first while I check on the kids, laughing at the frown Yasmin has while she's asleep, and the smile that Bellamy has. I then sit on the bed next to Sebastian and rub his back until Brittany peeps in and let's me know she's out so I can hop in the shower.

I take the longest shower in the world before putting on a tank top and a pair of small shorts, when I walk back in the bedroom I hear soft jazz music playing and see Brittany, sitting in bed, her poetry journal in her hands. I kiss her on the cheek and climb in bed, feeling extremely relaxed.

"How was the shower?"

"Good," I reply. "Sorry I was in there for so long. I was just thinking."

"It's okay." She smiles. "I was just working on something." She holds up her journal and waves it around slightly.

"You're back writing?" I ask her with a big smile, since I know how much she loves writing. "You've been so busy with you screen play that you're poems have taken a backseat."

"I know." She laughs. "The screenplay is taking so long, but I just want it to be perfect."

"It will be." I assure her, not just as the supportive wife role, but because I've read some of it and it's truly amazing.

She sets the journal down and lies down, opening her arms to me. I lie on her chest and exhale as she holds me tightly.

"It's bad that they haven't called or come back yet." I whisper. "It must be really bad."

Brittany doesn't reply, she instead just holds me tightly as we fall asleep.

6pm

It's been a week since my abuela died, and I still feel numb. As I suspected she died that night my parents stayed out at the hospital forever. They came back to the house around 3am, we heard them come in the house, my mom went straight to bed I think, but my dad came in and kissed us each on the forehead. I then heard him talking to the kids softly, not waking them out before leaving the room. Aliana was hysterical the next morning, when I went downstairs to get Yasmin a bottle so she wouldn't cry and have a fit while Bellamy breast fed, I saw her in a ball on the couch crying her eyes out. I laid down next to her and held her, promising her that we would get through it together and that I knew exactly how she felt. I then told her to come up to the bedroom while we fed the girls so she could calm down even more. Sebastian went with my dad for a morning walk so he was out of the house and content.

We had her funeral service this morning, Brittany and I footing the bill for whatever her insurance didn't cover, us sparing no expense at all. The funeral took more out of me that I thought was humanly possible. I held onto Yasmin, who more than likely sensed something was wrong and wouldn't leave my arms for any reason. No matter who reached for her, not my dad, not Quinn, not even Brittany, my mini me clutched tightly to me and wouldn't let go. Bellz stayed with Mercedes, who flew in town for the funeral, wanting to offer her support and help us out with the kids. I was a sniffling mess the whole service and so inconsolable at the cemetery, that Brittany had to hold me up. I don't remember much about the cemetery aside from various family members trying to take Yasmin out of my arms, and Sebastian yelling no to them loudly, while holding my leg.

I wanted to cater the repast but Brittany wouldn't let me, saying she didn't want me to stress myself out and after some arguing with me, I woke her up at 3am and told her I agreed with her and I was sorry before breaking down in tears, her holding me afterwards and rubbing my back until I calmed down. So here we are now, the house is full of people, I mean full! I've been sitting in the corner of the living room, in my abuela's favorite chair with the twins in my lap. Yasmin fast asleep, while Bellamy is drifting to sleep herself. I haven't eaten yet; I don't have an appetite at all. I fed the girls bottles; thankfully Yasmin didn't fuss and want to be nursed, so it went smooth with them.

I see Sebastian run by with my other cousin Britto, and smile at how well he plays with others, sharing his cars and trucks. I then see Brittany walking towards me, a plate in her hand. She sets the plate on the floor for a moment and grabs a chair, pulling it over towards me. She carefully grabs Yasmin, who stirs slightly, and opens her eyes to see who's moving her, relaxing when she sees it's her momma, and cuddles close to Brittany's chest, falling back asleep. She then sets the plate in my lap, before reaching for Bellamy, so my hands are free.

"You need to eat." She says softly. "At least a little."

I sigh and lift the fork, eating slowly, we sit in silence, well aside from Brittany humming to the girls. I realize I am actually hungry and the food does taste good, since my family cooked it. I hold a forkful of rice to Brittany's mouth and smile when she accepts it and licks her lips.

"I think your aunt makes the best rice I've ever tasted." Brittany laughs.

I nod. "I love my family's food." I agree with her, before lifting a tortilla shell and filling it quickly, taking a bite. "Let's get out of here." I say suddenly

"What?" Brittany raises an eyebrow at me.

"Let's get out of here, I can't be in Lima anymore, I need to leave, baby." I tell her.

Brittany frowns but nods. "Okay, we can leave in the morning."

"Let's leave now." I shake my head.

"San..."

"Please."

"Okay." She nods but continues to stare at me. "You wanna go home, back to New York?"

I stare at her and shake my head no. I don't know where I want to go but I just want to get the hell out of Lima. "No."

Brittany purses her lips and cocks her head to the side. "Let's get packed and gets the kids stuff all packed."

An hour later I'm double-checking my bedroom and the guestroom, making sure we don't leave any toys that will cause Sebastian to have a heart attack before gathering everything in my bedroom. Brittany is changing Yasmin's diaper, while Sebastian sleepily stares at her from the recliner.

"Where are we going?" Brittany then asked me, snapping Yasmin's onesie back in place, our beautiful daughter still fast asleep.

I pull my hair into a ponytail and glance at her. "Do you have any other random properties somewhere else in the world?"

Brittany stares at me before licking her lips and nodding. "It would take a day or two for me to set some things up."

"Can we drive there?" I ask her.

She nods slowly and rubs Yasmin's back, glancing at Bellamy, who's fast asleep next to her sister. "How long are we staying away from New York?"

"I just need a few days." I sigh.

"Okay." She nods. "Let me make some calls now, then we can drive to a hotel for the night."

"Thank you." I whisper as a tear pools in my eye, I blink it out and turn my head when Brittany stands up and hugs me tightly.

"I'm here."