A/N: Wow, you guys were getting restless for updates! It's only been 3 days! Sorry, but you know, sometimes life gets in the way of fan fiction. What can you do... Ha ha. But okay I'm going to indulge you with 3 chapters today since I'll be away for 5 days starting Wednesday and there won't be updates during that time.

Chapter 51

Sara and Emy spent the early evening talking and having an amazing meal on Sara's bed. Emy was sitting on the bottom end of the bed with her legs crossed. Sara was still sore and weak. Sara stared at her as she poured them each a glass of grape juice. Emy looked tired but happy. "Cheers... To health, happiness and love" said Emy. "Cheers... Thank you Em... thank you for being here... I don't know what I would have done without you" said Sara. "You would've been fine Sara. You always are. But I'm so happy that you're not here alone. You'll never be alone again my angel" smiled Emy. "Em... I'm sorry that everything is so up in the air right now... I can't wait until it's just the two of us... I really want to go back to New York with you soon but... I can't leave Tegan right now... she needs me" said Sara. Emy took Sara's hands in hers and looked into her eyes. "I understand Sara... and I'm not going anywhere. I've been thinking that Tegan's probably going to need a lot of support going through rehab... and I know you're going to want to be here so perhaps we should think of renting a place in LA for a few months, just until Tegan's back on her feet. I can work from anywhere" said Emy. Sara stared at her wordless and smiled. "I would love that... You're amazing Emy... why do you love me... I don't deserve you " said Sara becoming emotional and fiddling with the IV in her hand. "Hey... Sar... look at me" said Emy. "I love you because you're sweet, and kind, and beautiful and brave, you're smart and sassy, I love you because you're you Sara... and because you love me..." whispered Emy. Sara moved to kiss Emy but quickly fell back in pain. "Hey... shhh... you're tired and you're hurting Sara... just relax" said Emy as she gently got onto the bed next to Sara and held her in her arms. Sara was exhausted but content as she lay in Emy's arms watching the lights of Los Angeles. Emy gently kissed her on her cheek and let her slip into a sweet sleep.

Tegan woke up panting and sweating. Another nightmare... Her mother took her hand and tried to calm her down "Tegan, it's okay... Just a nightmare sweetie" she said as Tegan tried to make sense of her surroundings. Lindsey walked into the room after her morning shower and saw Tegan looking upset and confused. "Shhh baby... I'm here... everything's okay" she whispered and took Tegan's hand. Tegan just turned weakly onto her side and whispered "just a dream, just a dream..."

"Kate... why is she having so many nightmares?" said Lindsey clearly upset. Kate led Lindsey and Sonia outside. She shook her head "Tegan's been through so, so much... there is a name for what she's going through... It's called ICU psychosis. It's a disorder in which patients in CCU or ICU experience a cluster of serious psychiatric symptoms. It's caused by sensory deprivation, sleep disturbance, fluctuating light levels, stress, pain, medication, toxins from infection... It causes anxiety, restlessness, clouding of consciousness, nightmares, hallucinations, disorientation, agitation." said Kate. "Fuck... as if she hadn't been through enough" said Lindsey shaking her head. "I know... Just keep doing what you're doing guys... Just comfort her. Calming words, physical touch... Oh and I think it's a good idea if all of you go for trauma counselling. ALL of you" said Kate.

"We're almost ready for you Tegan... So, we're doing aBronchoscopy – looking at the inside of your lungs and then your vocal chords. It's all pretty routine Tegan. We're doing this under anaesthetic in the OR, I don't want you going through more trauma than you need to. I'm going to scrub in. Abby will bring you to the OR in a few minutes. Don't worry okay, I've got you" said Kate before leaving the room. Tegan looked pale. "I... I'm so scared Linds" whispered Tegan with her eyes closed. "Not of the procedure... of what they'll find" she said. Lindsey just stroke her face softly "It's alright baby... shhh" she said. "You'll be okay Tegan... whatever they find... you're so strong. You'll be okay. We'll deal with this together okay..." said Sara loudly. Tegan just nodded and stayed quiet. "Love you guys" she whispered just before she was rolled out of her room.

Kate looked at the people in the room all anxiously waiting on news after Tegan's procedure. "We saw what we needed to... she's in post-op, she's okay but she didn't cope very well with the anaesthetic at all and she had some breathing and blood pressure problems. We just gently assisting her breathing with a cpap machine right now." said Kate. "But she's okay? Tell me she's fine please?" asked Lindsey looking scared. "She's okay guys... but we're going to keep her in post-op for a few hours to make sure her pressure is okay and to get her conscious again" said Kate. "So... what did you see down there?" asked Sara. Kate sighed, "as suspected, there is some damage. However, I don't think it's permanent damage. The specialist agrees. She just needs to give it time. And she needs complete vocal rest for a few weeks. But I'm happy to report that the vocal chords probably won't be the biggest hurdle in her recovery" smiled Kate.