Chapter Fifty

"I don't have a problem with my memory, you know," Liz said as she stood from the couch. Reddington had come back into town and had asked to see her between the debriefing at the Post Office and their meeting with Natasha and Mallory. He had dropped a less than subtle remark about the Phelps' adoption plans just a few minutes after she arrived. He thought he was helping, she supposed, and he did seem more agitated than usual.

"I never said that you did, Lizzie."

She moved over to the bookshelf, looking through the volumes and titles. This place was so different than any other she had been to. It looked… real. There were photos and pieces of memories littered across the shelves. She ran her fingers along the spines of the books, reading titles as she spoke. "Could have fooled me. You know I'm not looking for your approval. If you think I am, you'll be disappointed."

"You have very much made your own way in life, Lizzie," he murmured almost sadly.

She resisted the urge to shake her head. It wasn't like prying directly was going to change his mind about telling her what he was to her. She was quickly proving her persistent nature though. They were supposed to meet down the street at a coffee shop when she had shown up at the front door of his weird little apartment. It was a matter of time. Layer by layer she would pull it back until she found the truth. If her time as an operative had taught her anything, it was patience. "You had something you wanted to discuss?"

"Just to see how the meet went."

She hummed softly to herself. "You could have called for that."

"If you didn't want to come all you had to do was say."

"I just want to know the real reason I'm here. That's all. Checking up on me, Red?" she teased, turning to look at him, but her eyes caught sight of a photo on the shelf she hadn't gotten to yet. They focused in in a little girl sitting on a woman's lap in a swing. She looked so happy, so innocent, that it took Liz a moment to recognize herself as a small child. She turned to Red who was keeping his expression carefully schooled. "Who is this woman?"

He swallowed hard, moving towards her in a careful way. "That is Katarina Rostova."

"My mother," Liz breathed, her thumb running across the glass protecting the photo. "Why is her face washed out?"

"It always has been. It's the only photo I still have of Katarina."

"Were you ever going to show this to me?"

"Perhaps. I hadn't decided." He sighed heavily. "Your mother was… complicated, Lizzie."

"If there's even a chance she's still alive…"

He leveled a serious look at her and when he spoke, Liz felt her breath catch dangerously. "I will tell you this: if you and Jacob truly want a child, if you want a family as you say you do, you will stay as far away from Katarina Rostova as possible."


"They won't give us a chance to leave once plans are finalised," Jacob explained, motioning to the plans he had drawn up from memory. "I got these while we were chatting. For thieves, it's amazing what gets past them." His partner shot him a surprised look, but shook his head and took the offered plans. "So, things may change, but I'm guessing we'll be hitting tonight. It makes the most sense. Kerken still being an ass about it?"

"He still thinks he has security covered," Ressler huffed.

"And for anyone else he might, but this is good. I'd kind of like to get this bastard as well if we can."

"Do not get yourself executed just to bring him in," his partner sighed.

"That's a little extreme," Jacob acknowledged.

"Death? Yeah. That's extreme. No coming back from it."

"Little permanent for my taste," the younger man chuckled, turning back to the agents they had been briefing before they had been sidetracked by their own humour. "We'll have you guys set up here and here. One team with Agent Ressler, one with Agent Navabi. Liz and I are going to be on the inside, so we'd really appreciate it if you didn't catch us in any crossfire."

"Meaning we're going to keep crossfire to a minimum," Ressler clarified and Jacob shrugged.

"You'll want to go ahead and make sure to arrest both of us. It doesn't need to be traced back that our source provided two undercover feds or he won't be useful moving forward. Make sure Mallory sees at least one of us arrested."

The lift doors opened, drawing their attention as Liz strode in, and Ressler cleared his throat. "That's it. We're on standby until we know when this is going down for sure."

"He has to be one of the most infuriating men I've ever met," Liz growled as she stormed over to the table. "He has a photo of my mother in his apartment."

"You found the place then?" Jacob asked, shuffling the papers and schematics into a neater pile.

"Yeah. Him too." She snorted, running a hand through her dark hair and Jacob caught it, pulling it to his lips. She was frustrated and it was boiling over at the wrong time. His wife was even better than he was at compartmentalising things, so for this to bubble up when she had been so even keeled about it meant something had hit a raw nerve. She huffed and looked up at him. "This isn't the time," she acknowledged softly.

"We can talk about it if you need to. I don't want you to be-"

"I'm good. I'm not distracted. Just pissed. He wasn't going to tell me and I just need to accept that."

"We'll work through it," he promised.

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this," she swore fiercely and then pulled in a steadying breath. "After. After we bring them in. Where are we at?"

"Got everyone lined up and we'll be waiting for yours and Jake's signal," Ressler said, glancing over as if he were looking for a confirmation this wasn't going to blow up in their faces.

Jacob offered a half smile and motioned to his wife to step to the side. "You get a good look at her face?"

"It was washed out. I mean, you could see a little of it, her smile, really, but…"

"Not enough to jolt a memory?"

She bit her lip, looking down as she chewed on it. "I don't remember her. At all. I mean, I recognized myself. That was it."

"You were really young, Liz," he reminded her softly.

She looked up at him. "You remember your biological mother, right? You were younger than I was."

"I have really scattered memories and not many of those. She wasn't exactly the best person, Liz. Sometimes… Sometimes your brain does you a favour by shutting it out. Sometimes it's the only way to move past it."

"I don't want my brain to do me a favour, Jacob. I want to know who my mother really was. Bud said she left me to die. Red said she loved me, but then turns around and says things like if we ever want to have a family I should never look for her. I just… At least you know your biological parents aren't worth looking for. I don't. I don't know, and how am I supposed to be a mom if-"

He pulled her in close, wrapping his arms around her. "You're spiralling, babe."

Jacob felt her nod against him and she hugged him back. "I need to know."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Well your husband does work for the FBI. We can look quietly."

"There's so much going on-"

"Do you want to look or not?"

She blinked hard. "I don't know."

He offered her a quirked smile and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you. If you want to look, we'll look. If you don't, we won't. You and me… we're not our biological parents, right?"

It was something she had told him again and again when they had first started the adoption process. He wasn't where he came from. He was more than his past or the issues it brought with it. Now, finally, he could support her in the same way.

Liz smiled slowly. "I love you too."

"Oh good," he chuckled and kissed her. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he checked it, holding it up so she could read the text. "Looks like we're going to go steal some diamonds."

She laughed. "Never thought you'd say that to me, did you?"

"Kinda glad I can," he answered with a playful wink. It had been a roller coaster, but they were stronger for it, and if he was going into a dangerous undercover op like this one, there was something about having the woman he loved watching his back that left him with a strange sort of peace. They were a team, and no matter what they faced, they could do that together.


She was stubborn. Not that she didn't come by it naturally, but it was a trait that would eventually hurt her. He had looked for her so long, worried about what had happened, and now that he was in her life he still couldn't protect her. It was maddening.

Dembe thought he should tell her everything. About the night of the fire and the fact that he knew, now beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her mother was alive. Katarina had staged her death when Reddington had told her that her little girl died in that fire. He had lived with the guilt that he had driven her to it, but he hadn't felt he had a choice. Her desperate need to be near her child without giving up the life as a spy that had become increasingly more dangerous as they moved at odds with the Cabal had left Lizzie's life in the crosshairs. Katarina's lover, the little girl's father, certainly hadn't helped matters. No child deserved to live that way, nor die the way that she would have. The way Katarina thought she had. He would have told her the girl had died even if the plan to take her to Sam Milhoan had worked out.

Red sighed deeply. It had been for the best at the time, no matter how it had pained him. He couldn't risk Katarina searching for her as well. She would have led the Cabal straight to Elizabeth and to the Fulcrum. They would have likely killed the little girl to get what they wanted. But now… Now he didn't know how to warn her without divulging his part in why she had grown up as she had: without love or affection. It was his fault in the end, and as much as she argued that she would forgive him for the things that he could not forgive himself, he knew that some things could never be forgiven. That they should never be forgiven.

"You're a difficult man to track down, Raymond."

Reddington spun around, strangely startled by the voice he hadn't expected in a place that no one but a select few knew about. The figure was familiar, even if it had been over two decades since he had seen her. "I have powerful enemies," he answered, keeping his voice steady.

"More than a few," she agreed, moving out of her shadowy corner and into the room. Reddington shifted on the couch, watching her carefully as she surveyed the surroundings in a way that reminded him of how Elizabeth had done the very same. "Though fewer now that you've taken our former employer to their knees."

"I was never employed by the Cabal, Katarina. You were." He watched her carefully, trying to gauge how much he should tell her.

Katarina looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Is that the lie you've told yourself so long that you've finally started believing it? You were as much their dog as I was. She was no safer with you."

"She would have been," he growled, feeling an old anger boil. "If you had truly loved her, you would have let me keep her safe. From the Cabal, from Erik, and from you. They're weakened, not gone. You and I both know she's in danger as long as there's enough of them left to-"

Katarina Rostova bristled. "Don't sound so high and mighty, Raymond. This was always about Erik for you. Your jealousy-"

"It was about Elizabeth."

She snorted. "Your lies come so easily, don't they?

"You made your choices and I made mine," he answered tightly.

"Yes. To keep my child from me."

"I did what I did to save her."

"And how did that work out, Ray? Was she safer alone? Was she safer growing up with Erik's death hanging over her?"

Reddington did his best to keep his expression neutral, but apparently it wasn't good enough. Realization flashed through her gaze. "She doesn't know."

"She disappeared from the fire, Kat," Reddington said softly. She could always tell when he was lying anyway. "She was picked up after that and off my radar for a long time. She didn't remember me or… anything prior to being put through the foster system. She still doesn't, and it's best that way. She's happy, Katarina."

"Is she?"

"She will be. She's strong." He stood slowly, finding her turning to him, and his voice softened. "I've spent time with her. Quite a bit of it recently and… I don't see Erik in her eyes." He wasn't sure if that would be a source of comfort or pain for her. Katarina had loved the man desperately. More than she had ever loved Red himself, even if neither had ever quite been able to let go of each other. It had been a mess by the end.

Katarina's own expression eased just a little and Red saw the woman he'd loved. She turned towards the door. "You always did love her as your own. It could have turned out better than this."

"You were never going to leave him and he tied you to the Cabal," Red said tightly.

"Would you have left your wife?" She smiled. "You see the corner we put ourselves in. Now Erik is gone and you hate me."

"Katarina-"

She offered him a sad smile, moving towards him and touching his face. He leaned into it on impulse, the touch pulling at feelings long buried under regret and guilt. She tipped up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "There's a reason you don't see Erik in her, Ray, and that could have mattered more once, but it can't now. Not after what you did. I won't lose her. Not again. Even if have to fight you for her. Now, I have some business to attend to."

She left him standing there, her words hanging in the air long after the door closed behind her.


For a woman determined to be in the middle of everything, Liz was a little surprised by the lateness of Natasha's arrival. She almost made them late to the job itself, but she strode in without batting an eye, directing everyone where she wanted them and leaving Mallory looking a bit irked in the way that she took on his job. Liz risked a glance at her husband who was talking with the driver about his forged FBI badge. Well, mostly forged.

"Masha."

Liz looked around, the name startling her just a little. Natasha took a seat on the edge of the table where Liz was cleaning her gun and offered a smile. The expression caught her by surprise. "How well do you know your partner?"

"Brian? Well enough. We worked several jobs before I took the one I'm in now."

"The one you want out of?"

Liz shrugged. "It's time." She shifted. "Listen, if you don't trust me-"

"It's not you. It's him." Her gaze drifted over.

"He's a grifter. You're not supposed to trust him."

Natasha chuckled at that. "But you do?"

A small smile played on Liz's lips as she started putting her gun back together. "I get him. We have similar backgrounds. Rough upbringings."

"Well, I wouldn't put all your trust into him. After this is all over, if things go well, I might have a permanent position for you if you're interested."

Liz blinked. "I didn't get the impression that you ran with these guys every time."

"I don't. I'll move on. Things bore me easily, but I imagine you feel the same."

"I don't need a new handler. I cut that out of my life when I broke ties with McCready."

"I'm sure you did, but that's not what I was referring to."

"Then what?"

"A partnership."

Liz snorted. "You don't know anything about me beyond what you read in the papers."

"I may know more than you think," Natasha said simply and stood. "I don't need your answer now. Just think about it. Consider it. The offer stands."

"I'll think about it," Liz promised, her mind trying to place the smile she hadn't seen before. It was odd and strangely familiar.

Natasha moved to speak to Mallory and Liz felt a hand on her shoulder, Jacob behind her when she looked. "What's up?"

"She just offered me a permanent gig."

"She just met you."

"That's what I said."

Jacob hummed softly to himself. "You going to leave me for some smooth talking Russian spook?" he teased and gave her a wink. "Come on. We're ready to go."

Liz sat there for a moment longer, her eyes going wide as she watched her. She knew where she recognized her from.


"There's been a change of plans," Natasha said as they pulled to the drop point where the van would be waiting with the thieves for the signal.

"No," Mallory growled. "No last second changes. That's how we get ourselves killed. Kerken doesn't screw around."

"Neither do I," Natasha answered. "And that's why we're changing it. Masha will go in with the rest of you and I will accompany Mr Kelley in."

Jacob snorted. "You're hilarious. No. Masha and I have a routine. We're not changing it up last second just to get a bullet in our heads from Kerken."

"Let me be blunt, Mr Kelley, I don't trust you."

"Great. I don't trust you either, lady. Could be why I'm not willing to put my life in your hands." Jacob leaned forward, his gaze hard. "Your people brought me in to do a job. Let me do my damn job or I walk."

He could feel Liz tense a little at his side as he held Natasha's steely gaze with his own. Finally she loosed a breath. "Fine."

"Fine," he snapped back before slipping out of the car and circling around. Something about Natasha didn't set well with him. She was obviously wealthy, but she refused to sit on the sidelines. Her fascination with Liz made him more than a little nervous. Well, at least he would be able to put her behind bars shortly and that worry would be over.

Liz was already in place as he entered, and Jacob spotted Samar who appeared to be looking at a particularly expensive diamond necklace. He stepped close enough to speak quietly so they wouldn't be noticed. "Around back is a van, Maryland license plates, guy with a beard driving. It's him, two heavyweights, Mallory, and a woman named Natasha. She's the money."

"Are you certain you want to play with fire today?" she asked, never looking at him.

"Taking them all down is the best move," he told her as she slipped him an earpiece. "I'll give the signal when Liz and I are ready."

"Don't get yourselves killed."

"Do our best," he promised and turned, setting the piece in his ear carefully. If everything went to plan, Liz should be getting herself caught right about-

"Miss, I'm going to need to see what you just slipped in your pocket."

"Get your hands off me," Liz argued, pulling back as a man with a security jacket reached for her. She slammed him hard and started for the door. Well, no turning back now.

Jacob sidestepped, cutting her off and grabbing her by the shoulders. He spotted Kerken coming from the back of the store, his expression focused, and he waved his hand. "Thank you. We have this."

"Actually, we do," Jacob answered, pulling the fake ID from his pocket. "Brian Kelley, FBI. We've been tracking a team of thieves."

Kerken frowned. "Yes, so I've heard."

"You have some place in the back we can question her?" Jacob asked, shooting Kerken a look that the older man read well.

"Of course."

Jacob kept a hand on her shoulder as Liz struggled, following to the back. Ressler would be there at any moment, ready to take Klerken down as well at the first sign that the man was going to lash out.

The gunshot was muffled as they stepped in the back room and Klerken fell dead to the ground. The guard with them went next and Jacob found the barrel pointed at him next. "Release her."

"Woh," Jacob said as he raised his hands. "What the hell, Natasha? This was all going to plan before you shot them."

"Your plan," she growled. "The feds just took the van."

"What?" Liz demanded. "Natasha, we had nothing-"

"You had everything to do with it, Masha. You and your fed husband, but my offer still stands. Walk away from this with me."

"Or what? You'll shoot us both?"

Natasha's expression tensed so briefly that Jacob almost missed it. "Just him."

Liz stepped in front of him. "I know you came here for me," she said, "but I won't let you kill the only man I've ever loved."

Jacob reached for his gun tucked into his holster at the small of his back, ready to even the odds before Natasha decided Liz wasn't worth the trouble. He used the distraction he thought Liz was trying to provide to pull the gun around, but his wife knocked his arm to the side without warning, throwing the shot wide. "What the hell?" he demanded,

Liz turned to him with wide eyes and pleading as she grabbed hold of him to stop him from chasing the woman down. "Jacob, please!"

He turned towards her, uncertain. "What the hell, Liz?"

"I knew I recognized her and I figured out where right before we left."

He gave her a questioning look. "You just let one of the key suspects-"

"The photo in Red's apartment," she cut him off and Jacob blinked hard as he realized what she meant.

"Natasha is Katarina Rostova?"

Liz nodded. "She's my mother."


TBC

Notes: So I feel like chapter fifty is kind of a big deal. I'm so excited to be able to share this chapter with you. A lot of exciting things happened and it sets up for a lot of exciting things to come. Who wants to make a guess: Is Katarina a good guy, bad guy? Somewhere in the middle?

I hope you guys are still enjoying this ride as much as I am. I'm always so happy to hear from you!

Also, announcement! I plan to start posting a Tessler story co-written with the awesome SaraBeth1 called Unlikely Allies this evening, for those of you that enjoy all the awesome Tessler bromance in this story!

Next time - Reddington tries to regain at least some control in a situation that has the potential to spiral out of his control while the Phelps' choose each other.