He knocked on the little door three times, his heart somewhere in his throat.
It would be best if she was asleep.
"Hello?" The sound of her voice made him jump and forget how ridiculous this was. He was trembling as he replied.
"Maria, it's me." He swallowed painfully, closing his eyes. "I… I've had an awful thought."
His heart screamed over the sound of her footsteps as she walked to the door. Opening his eyes, he saw the door open and she was standing there in nothing but her nightgown. It was pale and floated around her like a wispy cloud and did nothing to keep her warm.
"What's wrong?" She asked, voice concerned and warm. Unable to provide her with a verbal answer, Robin took her face in both hands and kissed her, deeper and stronger than earlier that day.
When he broke away to look at her, she had her eyes closed. She looked so innocent and soft that his stomach flipped and he wanted to kiss her again.
"I can't sleep." He said softly, breathing against her lips. He saw her mouth curl upwards at the corners as she shuddered, leaning towards him slightly.
"Neither can I." She whispered eventually.
They looked at each other for an immeasurable amount of time.
Maria touched her finger tips to his cheek and stepped backwards, into her room. He hesitated but moved his hands to her shoulders, following her in tentatively.
She ducked away from him, laughing and quickly closing the door. It clicked shut and Robin felt his heart stop for a moment and his head begin to spin.
He took a deep breath.
"Maria – "
He turned around and she was staring at him, her lips shiny and red. He could hear her quick breathing and see her chest rise and fall as she, like him, tried to take in enough oxygen to stay standing. He could see the soft shadows under her eyes from where her body was suffering under the exhaustion of the day and he could see the fire burning behind her irises which kept her awake.
Smiling, Robin took one step towards her and kissed her again, wrapping his arm around her back.
She was so warm.
Her lips trembled and then opened for him with a quiet gasp, pressing against his with heat and eagerness. She slid her hand into his hair, pulling his lips closer to hers and providing him with the perfect opportunity to move his other hand to the back of her neck. She shivered and stumbled backwards, pulling him with her.
With Maria's warm, delicate body between him and the door Robin found it difficult to focus on anything except how thin her nightgown was.
He moved his hand from her neck to the door, locking his elbow and forcing himself to give her some room. Despite the impulse to press her to him, he didn't want to scare her.
He shouldn't have been so worried.
Noticing that he was trying to be gentle for her sake, Maria moved her lips from his and kissed his cheek, his jaw, his -
Robin heard himself moan when she kissed his neck, but the blood was rushing so quickly through his veins that he couldn't tell whether it was a quiet or a loud noise. It didn't matter; they were so far away from anyone else in her little tower room that no one was at all likely to come running to see what was happening.
So he moved his hand from the door, giving up with trying to hold himself at a distance. With his hand now on her waist, Robin pulled her close and was encouraged by a gasp which momentarily separated her lips from his neck.
He moved his other hand from around her back to her chin, tilting her face towards his again. He saw that she was smiling, her cheeks as red as roses, and kissed her again. His tongue touched her lips and they tasted of flames.
Her hands were suddenly both on his hips and he realised that this would be a lot more comfortable on the bed.
"Stop – Maria, wait." He said quickly, breaking away and pressing his cheek to hers so he wouldn't be tempted to kiss her again.
"What's wrong?"
"We shouldn't do this." He managed, putting his hand in her hair.
"Pardon?"
"Maria, you're engaged – "
"I don't mind." She said quickly. He sighed and kissed her cheek.
"I do." He stepped back to look at her, taking a deep breath.
"I think you're being silly." She frowned, hands on his chest. He raised an eyebrow.
"I don't. I don't want to do this until it's the right situation." He said vaguely, finding the words incredibly difficult. "I'm not like the others – I can't just throw away the respect I have for you by doing this before we're – we're…" He trailed off, feeling faint.
"We're what?" She smirked, moving her hands around his back. He rolled his eyes.
"Officially…" He sighed, touching his forehead to hers. "Official."
"Officially official?" She repeated, laughing. "Robin, dear, you might have to be a bit clearer."
"Maria, you know what I mean." He moaned, closing his eyes. She was so difficult.
"I think you should just say what you mean – I haven't got a clue."
"Maria."
"No, I don't think that's what you mean."
"Maria!"
"Robin!"
"For God's sake, Maria! Married, okay?" He hissed, kissing her nose quickly. "Happy now?"
"Yes, thank you." She chirped, holding him close. It took a great deal of self-control for him to be gentle.
"So." He breathed, kissing her very lightly.
"Do you want to go back to your room?"
"No." He said quickly, making her laugh again. He smiled and moved a hand to stroke her cheek. "I'll miss you."
"Okay then." She grinned and slipped from his hands, walking towards her bed. Her flimsy nightgown blew around her like it was caught in a summer breeze and Robin had to look away.
"Maria, what are you doing?"
"Nothing bad, don't worry." She moved the duvet and sat down. "Come here."
He gave her a mistrusting look, making her laugh again.
"Do you really think I'm that bad? Robin, trust me." She smiled and he started to walk towards her. "I'm just tired."
"Okay." He said carefully, walking over to sit by her. His throat was dry.
"Relax." She said quietly, lying down and tugging the duvet over her. He did the opposite and froze where he was sitting, terrified. "Robin."
"Sorry." He laughed, turning to face her. She did look tired. "I'll try."
"I'm going to go to sleep. If you feel like joining me, please do." She smiled and turned away, curling up with her head on the pillow.
Robin sat there for a moment, watching her.
He shrugged and lay down behind her – feet and boots hanging off the edge of the bed – and kissed her hair softly. When she didn't say anything or move he smiled and put his arm over her, hiding his face in the back of her hair. It still smelt of the sun and when he closed his eyes he could feel himself drifting to sleep.
That was difficult to write. Which is why it took a while to be posted and I'm still not happy with it. Oh well - on to the party! - Jane
