Steven fluffed the pillow in the handbasket, carefully arranging the red gemstone atop it for maximum comfort. His efforts didn't draw any change from the stone, but it seemed to make Steven feel better. He drew the blinds to let in the last of the afternoon sun inside, letting it spill over the basket's perch on the coffee table.
"It's okay," Steven promised the Gem, his voice thready and high. "If you need a blanket, just flash, or glow, or something. You'll be okay."
Seated on the couch with her legs folded underneath her, Connie watched Steven stagger back and forth between distractions. He would fuss over Ruby's bodiless gemstone until he couldn't stand it anymore, and then he would try to clean the fragments of the island counter in the kitchen. She thought she should be doing something to help him, to calm him down or at least pick up a broom. But those notions were a million miles away from her limbs.
Her neck throbbed as she stared down at the glittering gemstone in the basket. Seeing it by itself felt wrong to Connie. Just as she knew that Stevonnie was more than the sum of two teenagers, she knew that Garnet was more than two Gems merged together. Without Sapphire next to her, Ruby was smaller in every sense of the word. She was incomplete.
Garnet might never exist again. And it was all Connie's fault.
"Human," Jade said warningly, "don't."
Connie blinked hard to keep her eyes dry. "Can you read my thoughts now too?" Connie asked in a graveyard whisper.
"I feel what you feel. The specific thoughts are not difficult to interpolate between your massive swells of guilt," Jade said sternly. Between the steel in her passenger's thoughts, though, Connie could sense her genuine concern. "You are responsible for no one's safety but yours and, perhaps more importantly, mine. So any conviction you might have of this situation being your fault is therefore erroneous."
Another swell of guilt arose in Connie to argue with Jade. If Connie hadn't called for help, the other Gems would have been there to face Flint and Pyrite with Garnet. If Connie could have protected Steven, or even just herself, maybe Pyrite wouldn't have used her to force Garnet apart. If, if, if… The maybes piled up inside her until they threatened to spill out of Connie in a rush of hot bile. She swallowed hard, barely keeping them down. "Sure feels like my fault," she whispered.
"Feelings are not fact," Jade said. "Only the foolish would treat them as such."
Connie wanted to argue more, but stopped at the sound of soft crunching at the doorway. Her body tensed as she whipped around, and then eased at the sight of the pink creature lumbering through the empty frame. Steven had already abandoned his broom to rush to the door, crying, "Lion!"
The great cat settled just beyond the edge of the scattered debris of the kitchen. Swaths of black char cut through his fur and tore a broad wedge out of his mane. When Steven reached for one of the burns, Lion shrank back and rumbled warningly. With a little coaxing, though, he surrendered to Steven's gentle touch.
Connie watched Steven comb his fingers around Lion's burns. The raw red patches reminded Connie of those horrific seconds between Flint's blaze and Lion teleporting himself to safety. The memory of that raw heat prickled in the soles of her feet. The tread of her shoes had been melted into a smooth, waxy surface. How badly must it have hurt poor Lion to be outside the bubble? How angry must he feel because Steven bubbled her instead of him?
"The important thing is to remain logical and proactive as we move forward," Jade said, her calm voice rising against the wail of Connie's inner monologue.
"I'm so sorry, Lion," Steven cooed, and kissed Lion's paw. His lips touched next to one of the burns, and the fur around it began to ripple inward, filling in the gap as the raw red skin turned pink and healthy again. Other parts of Lion's lost fur began to shuffle back into place, but slower. As Steven moved his lips to the next burn further up Lion's leg, his voice caught in his throat. "This is all my fault," he choked.
Connie flinched. How could Steven think something so ridiculous? He had rescued her, and now he was paying the price for it.
"The biggest mistake would be to act rashly out of a misplaced sense of obligation, or worse, guilt," Jade said. The forced serenity in her voice cracked as she practically had to shout over Connie's whirling misery.
"I should have bubbled all of us right away when I saw Flint. I should have run away like Garnet told us to." Steven licked his palm and leaned heavily on Lion's flank. Tears glimmered in his eyes. "I should have been able to stop that big Gem with the axe."
Connie's head throbbed along the lines where Pyrite's fingers had grasped her. The Gem had picked her up like she was nothing, and tossed her aside like she meant nothing, because she was nothing. Garnet, or Sapphire, had been their target all along. Connie's only importance to the Crystal Gems was being a weakness the bigger Gems could press on until Garnet broke.
"Let us assess our current situation and consider, LOGICALLY, how best to proceed," Jade shouted, but her voice was all but lost in the din.
As his mane rippled back into fullness, Lion stopped fidgeting, and leaned heavily into Steven. His head twisted around, and he began idly grooming Steven's disheveled hair, licking the shards and splinters caught in his dark curls. Steven's flimsy restraint broke, and his tears poured freely. He buried his face in Lion's mane while the cat methodically licked him back into order again. "And now Garnet's gone. And I never got to tell her I was sorry for yelling at her. And Ruby's all alone, and so is Sapphire, and it's all my fault."
"Oh, my stars! Hybrid, would you please shut up?" Jade howled at Steven, unheard. "Human, do not listen to him!"
But the world had already vanished from Connie behind a curtain of her tears. She saw a blurry pink shape in front of her, and heard her best friend's quiet sobs, and she broke. Stumbling off of the couch, she ran for the bathroom and shut herself inside, pressing her back against the door and sliding down to the cool tile. Both her hands were clasped over her mouth so Steven couldn't hear her crying.
"Con…" Jade hesitated. "Consider the larger picture, human: we are alive. And… And the enemy took the Sapphire intact. Perhaps they will release her once her purpose has been served. O-Or perhaps the remaining rebels can mount a successful rescue."
Connie wrapped her arms around her shins and pressed her face into her legs, curled up against the door. "It's my fault, Jade. It's all my fault!" she blubbered into her knees. "I'm a big, speckled piece of bait, and those jerks used me, and now even if I could fight them, which I can't, I couldn't anyway because we have no idea where they took Sapphire, and we'll never find her in time to save her! I really am just a dumb little human…"
Her voice cracked around the last word, shattering into long, shuddering sobs.
From out of her rollicking pity party, a thin ribbon of uncertainty coiled up and clenched around her stomach. It was Jade, muddling Connie's guilt with a different flavor all her own. "Portions of your self-recrimination are…somewhat inaccurate," her passenger hedged.
She swiped her knuckles across her eyes and coughed a bitter little laugh. "Why? Am I slightly less pathetic because I have a superior Gem stuck inside of me?" she wheezed.
"Well, technically, yes," Jade admitted. "But I was referring to your notion that we do not know to where the Flint and Zircon absconded with your Sapphire. Because I…might."
Connie bolted to her feet. Her whole body crackled with excitement. Staggering to the bathroom counter, she gripped the edges of the sink and stared wide-eyed at her own reflection. "You know where they took Sapphire?" she demanded.
The wall behind her had cratered inward where Steven had been slammed into it from the other side by Zircon. Flecks of drywall and stud littered the counter where they had bounced off of the mirror hard enough to leave it in a spidery web of cracks. Her reflection stared back her in fragments of a spotty, teary mess that looked even worse than she felt. But behind the crooked sight of her own wild, wide eyes was a glimmer of guilty truth that belonged to her passenger.
Connie could practically feel Jade's stone squirming in her chest as the Gem said, "The Pyrite said they were returning to Ascension. I am familiar with this name. It is a location here on Earth."
The revelation jerked Connie upright. She gaped at her shattered reflection and said, "You know where they took her? Where?"
"Ascension is one of several landing platforms constructed on-planet after the rebels seized control of the Galaxy Warp. It was built expressly for use by the Diamonds and their courtiers…including their Chroniclers."
Jade's words fanned a spark of hope inside Connie, making it burst aflame. "Then there's still a chance! You can take us to—"
"I cannot."
That flame guttered, growing cold again. "Wh… What? Why?" Connie demanded.
A strange, wavering edge carried Jade's answer up through Connie. "Ascension is a secure Homeworld installation. I am committing treason by even admitting its existence to anyone. To bring a gaggle of armed rebels there on a hostile incursion for any reason would be unthinkable."
Connie couldn't breathe. It felt as though Jade had punched her right in the stone, knocking the wind out of her. "A secure…" she choked. Her elbows shook the counter as she collapsed forward, fighting to fill her chest again. When she finally had the breath for it, she pushed herself back up and bellowed at the mirror, shaking its pieces as she glared at herself and exploded, "Are you serious?"
"When am I not?" Jade retorted. "Human, I do not revel in telling you this, but I must honor my pledge to be forthright with you, just as I must honor my commitment to my Diamond and my Homeworld."
"Jade, the war is over! None of that matters anymore!"
The tension in Connie's stomach loosened, unfurling into a wave of resentment. "It is the only thing that matters, human, because it is what I am! My nonaggression pact with the rebels does not absolve me of my duty. I am a Jade."
Connie's fists shook the counter. Half a dozen pieces of mirror tumbled into the sink, clattering into a jumbled, scattered reflection of her scowling face. "They left you, Jade! They corrupted you! You can't—"
"I cannot betray my purpose for the sake of a rebel—"
"—pretend like nothing happened, you don't owe them anything, so how can you care—"
"—or for any human, regardless of how fond I may have become of her, because it is not a matter of caring, it is a matter of being—"
"—what the rules were five thousand years ago when the Diamonds themselves don't even care? I mean, look at us, Jade!"
"—because no matter how much you wish it, I am what they made me, and not what you want me to be!"
"SAPPHIRE!"
The cry rattled the bathroom door, silencing Connie and Jade at once. Connie didn't recognize the shrill, rough voice, but she knew it could only belong to Ruby. Steven's voice rose in a firm but soothing patter, which quickly disappeared inside Ruby's frantic tirade. She couldn't hear much of Ruby's shouting so distinctly through the wall, but Connie heard Sapphire's name come up again and again, each time harder and more panicked than the last.
Listening to the pain in Ruby's voice, Connie felt her anger and frustration drain away, leaving her half of the argument an empty shell inside of her. She tried to imagine losing someone as important to her as Sapphire was to Ruby, and her eyes stung with fresh tears. If it were her parents who had been taken… If it were Steven…
"Jade, please," Connie croaked, shutting her eyes against the tears as they rolled down her cheeks. "Please help me. I messed this all up. I should have run, like you said. Like Garnet said. I should have known better than to try and fight. I know I don't deserve it, and I know I can't ask you to do it, but I have to. Please, please help me make this right."
Jade's vitriol evaporated as quickly as hers had. "Human, I…I cannot betray everything I am. Not even for you. I am sorry."
Ruby's panic on the other side of the door kept mounting, and each shout made Connie flinch. "Please," Connie begged softly. "I'll do anything. I'll take you anywhere you want. I'll eat anything you ask me to. I'll give you whatever you want. Please."
A warm, bitter sympathy poured through Connie in answer, making her cry harder. "Your own kindness cripples your bargaining position, human. I know you already make every effort to ensure my comfort. And we both know that, unless the hybrid has made recent and unparalleled progress in his healing practices, you cannot promise me the only thing I want."
Connie collapsed against the countertop again, sobbing in breathless heaves. She saw her spotty, spindly arms braced against either side of the sink, saw her empty mottled palms, and knew that she had nothing left. Jade had never made a secret of who she was or what she wanted. From that very first day, Jade had…
From that very first day…
"I truly am sorry, human. But not all hope is lost. Perhaps her captors do not intend to harm the Sapphire. After all—"
"I can set you free," Connie blurted.
Jade's mental tongue tied itself in knots. It took several tries before she could sub-vocalize again. "Huh?"
"If you promise to do everything you can to rescue Sapphire, I'll set you free. I swear it," Connie insisted. She wiped her eyes dry and straightened, staring hard into the broken mirror.
Speaking slowly, Jade replied, "Even if I were at liberty to fulfill my end of such a bargain, how would you propose to fulfill your end?"
Connie didn't hesitate. "I'll take that long walk off the beach," she said.
Jade was silent for even longer this time, leaving plenty of space for Ruby's tirade to filter through the wall. Something outside the bathroom shattered noisily, and Steven's pleas for calmness grew panicky.
Then Jade said, "You have no idea what you are offering, human."
"I know exactly what I am offering," Connie retorted. "I was halfway out there the night we met. Remember?"
"I have already apologi—"
"I'm not trying to guilt you, Jade!" Connie snapped, interrupting her. "I know what being a Homeworld Gem means to you. If you have to betray that to help us save Sapphire, then I'm willing to give you myself. Our self. I'll give up my physical form so you can have it for yourself."
A sliver of intrigue jabbed up through Connie's resolve, but just as quickly it was lost in Jade's sense of refusal. "Even if you did—which you will not!—I would simply succumb to my corrupted state once more. At best, I would become a mindless beast who roamed the planet without purpose, or dissipated and collected with the other of the rebels' captives."
But Connie wouldn't balk. "Maybe. But it's my human-ness that brought you out of your corruption in the first place. With my brains out of the way, maybe you can settle in and work like we are now. But even if not, you'll still have your own body again. You'll still be free."
Connie could feel her passenger trying to wriggle out of her point. There were a million logical paths she could have tried to argue back, but the argument wasn't a logical one. Connie had just jabbed an emotional knife right into Jade's biggest sore spot, and they both knew it.
"Human, you cannot mean to sacrifice your existence for a Gem. You owe no fealty to her or her rebellion. You are… You are human!"
Her head screamed at her that she was making a huge, terrible mistake, but Connie knew in her guts that this was the right decision. The stories from all those books on her shelves, and the dozens of thrilling adventure movies her father had snuck her to under her mother's nose, and even the example of the Crystal Gems themselves had showed Connie the fundamental truth of the world: real heroes weren't always the strongest or smartest ones around when something went wrong, but they were the ones with the courage to do whatever it took, to make any sacrifice needed, in order to do what was right.
Connie knew they could still save Sapphire because they had to. As long as Connie had the courage, she knew she could still do what was right.
Remembering something she had told Jade a long time ago, Connie said, "It isn't just about loyalty. On Earth, everybody is their own Diamond. They make the decisions to build their own world. I messed up, so it's up to me to fix it. And I need your help, Jade."
"Human, don't—"
"You don't have to fight," Connie told her, scared at how calm she sounded, but also a little impressed. "Just get the Gems to that Ascension place, and then get them back. Then you're done."
"Human…"
Connie found her eyes in the broken mirror and stared into them, pouring every ounce of seriousness she had left into the gaze. "Is it a deal?" she said.
She listened to the wordless, one-sided debate raging in Jade's half of them. An undercurrent of disbelief ran through Jade's flip-flopping emotions. But gradually, that disbelief cooled into a sense of awe, and the debate settled into a silent answer.
When she strode out of the bathroom, she found Ruby and Steven locked in a strange grapple at the front door. The stout little Gem had her fingers hooked around the edge of the empty doorframe to drag herself outside, while Steven had grasped Ruby's ankles and was pulling her back inside with all of his might.
"Lemme go, Steven!" Ruby howled. "I have to find Sapphire!"
Steven only doubled his efforts, and Ruby's fingers slipped one by one from the frame. "But you don't even know where to start looking!" he insisted.
"I do."
The sudden words startled Ruby off the doorframe. She jerked sideways into Steven's grasp, and they collapsed together into a tangle of limbs. Steven pulled his mouth out of Ruby's elbow and cried, "Connie! I was really worried about you. You were in the bathroom for a long time. And you were shouting. Angrily. That hasn't happened to me since Pearl made me stop eating those Hungry Bro frozen dinners."
Ruby poked her head out from under Steven's knee. "She's fine, Steven!" snapped Ruby. Then a brief flash of guilt crossed her features. She shook away the expression, jostling Steven's leg atop her head, and said, "Connie, I'm sorry you got caught up in this, but we don't have time—"
"No, we do not. So be silent and listen," she snapped, silencing the pile of limbs in an instant. Pointing to the Ruby half of their tangle, she said, "You, Ruby: go and collect the Peridot from your farm. And you, hybrid," she continued, turning her finger toward the Steven half of the tangle, "take your Off-Color savannah feline and retrieve the Amethyst and Pearl. We will need to consolidate our meager forces before mobilizing for Ascension."
From deep inside the cold waters of her quiet, meditative mental stream, Connie saw her best friend's face slacken in realization. Her distant awareness watched Steven pull himself free of Ruby to stand and stare in realization, his glistening eyes searching the stern, cold features of his best friend that were no longer hers. "Jade?" he said.
A new sensation resonated through the green banks of Connie's river, shaking the trees and their leaves, rustling the grass, and rippling through the current. Far outside, in her body, she could sense Jade asserting herself in the unfamiliar limbs, spilling into every nerve that had formerly been just Connie's. The assertion felt stronger than the last time, as though it were already settling into place, hardening like concrete.
A spark glimmered around Jade's gemstone, and then flared into a wave of green light. The light poured out of the top of her shirt collar and over her shoulders, trailing down her back in a wave of iridescence that coalesced into metallic green fabric. The corners of the fabric snared threads around her ankles and her wrists, creating a cape-like sail that stirred as the air around Jade's mottled body began to swirl.
"And bring me the human's sword," Jade said, her tone turning Connie's voice into an edge that jolted Steven and Ruby into action. Her long black hair drifted in the breeze, rippling in time with the green sail behind her. "We are getting your Sapphire back."
