Part 53

"Grantly" they mumbled, as they looked at one another, both amazed how the usually grumpy teacher was portraying the loveable character of Father Christmas; but want amazed them more was that he was actually doing a good job. Rachel resisted the urge to express her surprise at this to Eddie.

"So Michael what would you like for Christmas?" Father Christmas asked Michael, he glanced back at Rachel and Eddie, I want Rachel to marry daddy, but I can't say that to Father Christmas. "I'd like…"struggling to actually come up with anything he wanted, "I'd like a new teddy bear". Father Christmas smiled and said "a new bear that sounds nice, be a good boy and I'm sure you might get one". Father Christmas took Michael off his knee and put him back to the floor. Father Christmas looked in the sack and pulled out the present which Michael's name on it. It was only when Eddie came to collect him, did Grantly realise who it was, Eddie looked at him and said "thanks Father Christmas", and Grantly looked embarrassed; he would never live this down.

Michael opened the present and was thrilled to see a new toy car believing it was from Father Christmas; it was only Eddie and Rachel who knew that Eddie had brought it with them. Michael was pleased with this but he definitely thought the best present was the possibility of Rachel and daddy getting together.

Eddie stopped the car outside his house; the party had ended shortly after the last present being handed out, however neither Rachel nor Eddie wanted the evening to end; they both enjoyed each others company. The conversation had been meaningless in the car as neither of them said the one thing that their heart was bursting to say, and they were both determined that they were not going to depart before they managed to say their true feelings. For Rachel, there was one thing stopping her and it was the one thing that she thought protected her, her shield around her heart but actually it stopped her feeling, stopped her loving anyone and anyone loving her, except Eddie.

The silence in the back told them that Michael had drifted to sleep, tired from the days events, they looked in the back and saw Michael peacefully sleeping. "I'd better put him to bed" stated Eddie to Rachel who still seemed to be somewhere else, Eddie got out the car but Rachel looked at him and said "Eddie pass your keys and I will open the doors for you". Instantly Eddie thrust his hand into his pocket and through the keys to Rachel.

Rachel opened the door and proceeded to walk into the lounge to clear the way for Eddie to carry Michael into the house, however when she was in the lounge she immediately thought back to the time when she was here last; the last day of the school holidays, she was so preoccupied with the return to school she hadn't noticed that it was Eddie's house she was stepping to instead of her own. But, that didn't matter to her as Eddie was always there for her; the text message in the morning, helping her through the flashbacks; which she still got but had learnt to live with them. Perhaps she needed a counsellor or perhaps it was another thing that she would have to learn to live with and after a while the self-defence mechanism; her shield would intervene.

Rachel's thoughts were only interrupted when Eddie returned into the room, and said how Michael was asleep; Eddie regretted saying this as he saw that Rachel had been deep in thought, I really need to stop doing that, she needs me and I know how much she is hurting; but I wish she trusted me enough to tell me. Eddie noticed that the lingering gaze he was giving Rachel that been spotted, to try and avoid the awkwardness that was building up in his stomach said, "Can I get you a drink, Rachel?" Rachel didn't reply she just nodded, trying to determine what Eddie would have been thinking. Did he feel the same as me? Rachel sunk back into the chair, she was too tired to think, Eddie came in carrying two mugs, "I made us both some coffee", Rachel smiled back at him, if I'm going to tell her how I feel I'm going to need a clear head, or I'm definitely going to mess it up.

"Rachel are you okay", Eddie asked concerned as Rachel looked incredibly pale. Rachel didn't respond it was almost as if Eddie hadn't said anything; in truth Rachel wasn't there. Rachel was staring at a spot on the floor but all she could see was the events from last year. 'He was there telling everyone about her past, the past which she tried so hard to forget. The look on everyone faces, the disgust, the anger but what hurt most and the look which Rachel always saw when she was having a flashback was the disappointment from the pupils.' Eddie was getting worried about Rachel, nothing seemed to pull her from her current train of thought, the way her face changed, told Eddie it obviously wasn't going to help Rachel by the time she did come back to reality; to him.

"Rachel!" Eddie called trying to get her to come back from a place where he knew she really didn't want to be. He was lying there, she couldn't leave him, it was her school, and she had to get everyone out; including him. "Rachel" he groaned obviously in pain, "you will never be free of me, everybody knows who you really are; you are Rachel Mason but still the same person, eventually when people see through you, you will go back to the only profession you have a chance at being any good at". Rachel wanted to stop dragging him but she carried on regardless of the hatred she had building up inside of her. She heard the building creaking; she had to get out of there. CRASH; the roof collapsed. Rachel screamed. The roof had fallen in and she was trapped with him, the other thought she had was, "Eddie I love you, sorry I never told you".

Rachel came back to him, sobbing into his warm, comforting embrace, he didn't know what to say to help her so he just held her knowing that it may be the only way she could move on from the events of last term; little did Eddie know she suffered it daily and it was actually getting worse than better as each night she remembered slightly more; another stinging comment, another expression on the pupil's faces.