"Next up, we've got 'The Barnstormer'," Emma said.

"Where's Regina?" Cora wondered.

"Somewhere," Emma said.

"Where is she?" Cora asked firmly. Emma sighed.

"I tied her up and threw her in the pond," Emma said with a sigh.

"Great," Cora said. "Come along, pond," she said, magicking Regina out of the pond.

"I'm wet," Regina groaned.

"That could be an innuendo!" Hook shrieked.

"Shut up and get on board," Neal hissed.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen!" Goofy's voice spoke happily.

"I think you've made a mistake, I don't see any ladies or gentlemen in here," Gold sniffed. "Except for Belle and myself, of course." Hook rolled his eyes.

"Welcome to my plane, the Barnstormer! Please remember to keep your arms, legs, feet, and hands inside the vehicle at all times, and watch your children!" Goofy continued.

"Why do they never say ears?" Henry wondered. "Everyone needs ears. Ears are delicious."

"What's wrong with Henry?" Charming wondered.

"I gave him some candy," Snow said, tapping on her phone. "Here we go, great sound effect!"

"That isn't so pleasant," Charming said.

"What did you say?" Cora asked, cocking her head to the side. "Something about a peasant?"

"I said, this isn't so pleasant."

"You said 'this missing soap pendant'?" Cora asked. "What is a soap pendant, anyway? Well, whatever it is, I want one," she said, frowning.

"Bacon," Hook said.

"That is not grammatically correct," Belle said, her features hardening.

"But-"

"That is not grammatically correct," Belle repeated.

"You made that up!" Hook said. "It is grammatically correct!"

"You're irresponsible," Belle said slowly.

"Irresponsible? What's that supposed to mean?" Hook wondered. "Is, er... irraeasponsible even a word?"

"Irresponsible," Belle corrected.

"I bet that's not even a word," Hook said boldly. "I bet you're just making things up to sound smart."

"Face-palm," Belle said.

"What are you facepalming for?" Hook wondered.

"It's called, face-palm. You need to add a little dash in between the two or it's not a real word," Belle hissed.

"What do you mean, this isn't the real world?!" Cora asked, panicked, after mishearing Belle's comment. "I'M NOT REAL? OH MY GOD, I'M DREAMING! OH MY GOD! I'M NOT REAL! IT'S LIKE CORACEPTION!"

"Or Disneyception," Gold joked.

"That is grammatically incorrect," Belle hissed.

"Sorry," Gold said.

"We're flyiiing!" Snow sang. "Free flyyyyyiiiiin!"

"I can't feel my feet," Cora said.

"Why not?" Regina wondered.

"Well, if you don't think about them, then you can't really feel them, can you?" Belle asked. "GASP! What if we're not real? What if we're machines? What if when we blink we aren't real?"

"That's scary," Henry said. "But what if you're right? What if we're all actually narwhals?"

"That makes no sense- aaaaaaah!" Emma shrieked just as the ride plummeted downwards.

"Wait! TIMOTHY!" Snow screamed as the rock fell off her shoulder with the drop. "NOOO!"

"It's a rock," was all Gold said.

"HE WAS MORE THAN A ROCK!" Snow sobbed. "HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME!"

"Hey!" Charming protested.

"IT'S TRUE!" Snow whined. "I LOVED HIM!"

"It's a rock," Gold said again.

"It is a HE!" Snow shrieked. "TIMOTHY! WHY! TIMMY!"

"Facepalm," Emma groaned as the ride bucked up and down again, before slowing to a stop. A sign above read 'Fly Again Soon!'.


"It wasn't his time," Snow whined.

"I found you your rock," Henry said, nudging Snow and holding up a rock.

"That isn't Timothy!" Snow protested. "He was more rugged and handsome!"

"It says Timothy on the bottom," Henry said.

"TIMMY!" Snow shrieked, hugging the rock. "IT'S YOU!"

"Why is Regina staring at me?" Hook wondered suddenly.

"Hello?" Emma asked, waving a hand in front of Regina.

"Is there something on my face?" Hook wondered.

"Next up is 'The Haunted Mansion'," Regina said suddenly as if nothing out of the blue had happened. "It's not the holiday version, we're way past that, but the original. A movie has been published, which was inspired by the ride. It received a rating of 13% on Rotten Tomatoes, and-"

"Shut it, we get it, okay?" Emma groaned. "Thanks, Shakespeare."

"It also received a total of 4.8 on IMDb," Regina continued.

"Shut it, and let's just go!" Emma hissed.

"Emma, dear, don't be rude," Snow said sweetly.

"But-"

"DON'T BE RUDE!" Snow said, her eyes flashing red.

"Right. Sorry," Emma said.

"Here it is," Regina said, leading the group to the place.

"Wow, it looks so different when it's not like, in holiday version," Henry said.

"It's weird," Hook said.

"This is more like it," Cora said boldly. "This place, I could live in."

"You're always saying that," Gold said.

"It's better than a pink house," Cora said tauntingly.

"I like my pink house," Gold said boldly.

"No, you don't, you're always complaining about how Regina made it pink," Belle countered.

"Well, yeah, but I wasn't gonna tell her that," Gold hissed.

"Good job," Cora said, slapping Regina five.

"Now, this rendition of the Haunted Mansion was first built in-"

"SHUT IT!" Emma howled.

"You're just jealous that I know more than you," Regina said. "For example, did you know that Walt Disney originally used actual skeletons for his rides because fake ones seemed to be too unrealistic? However, when the park was revamped, they replaced the real skeletons with fake ones."

"You're insane," Emma said, before entering the attraction lobby.

"You're jealous," Regina countered.


Stella 7/22/13 . chapter 53

I literally just found this story yesterday. I. Love. It. It's hilarious. You know what'd be awesome was if they ran into the actors who played their characters at one of the parks

Our 500th review. You know what this means, you get to submit a prompt!

But 500 reviews?! I think this counts for an award, or something, 'cos seriously?! YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE!

I remember when I wrote the first chapter, I thought, should I post this? And I'm really glad I did, because I'm so surprised by the response to this story, seriously. It means sooo much to me and I can't even express how much.

I'd like to thank everyone who's R&R'd so far, and thanks so much for your continued support! :D