Don't Stir Up the Oni's Nest

Third POV

Ken begins to show signs of waking up as he raises his arms in the air and yawns. Even though he was accidentally knocked out by a certain shrine maiden, Ken awakes the same way a lazy armadillo would. The red footprint can be still seen on his face, as the wavy edges of the most holy Hakurei shoe made its mark on a human.

The purple bruise on Ken's right leg has swollen, if Ken were to touch that part of his leg, it would be very painful.

"Oh my head...my aching head" groaned Ken, putting his hand to his face. The sun was just above him as he opened his eyes. Immediately, he closed them as the glare pierced his current vision an orange spot in a sea of darkness.

The palm of his hand struck something odd on his face. Something that has had a prolific appearance on Ken's body, but only under so many circumstances. Ken raised his eyebrows in question.

"What the hell did I just touch?" asked Ken to himself.

Putting his hand in front of his face so he can look at the palm and not stare at the sun's deadly glare, Ken sees red. Not just the translucent blood inside his fingers on the edges, but a dried, red, and familiar smelling substance on his palm.

As the chips fall off his palm, Ken tries to smell whatever was on his palm. But instead, all he smells is blood, along with a swollen feeling in his nose.

"What the hell? Blood? Who the..." Ken doesn't continue on his rant and looks around alert, accidentally brushing his hand against the bruise he suffered on his knee. Ken twitches and trembles enormously as he grabs the area around the bruise and sat up, while rocking back and forth. The totally sadistic training he has received from Meiling is not very effective. Ken's purple bruise is super effective!

"Sssssss...ahh~...Ssssss...ahh~" Ken continues to seethe in air and then breathe out while rocking back and forth on his butt.

"Oh, Youmu~" said a light and carefree voice. "You missed a spot~."

"But Mistress Yuyuko, if I cut that area, his upper lip might have been cut off" said a straightforward and whiny voice.

"You could always pull it down with your finger, Youmu" said Yuyuko, giggling a little bit.

"But that might wake him up" said Youmu, slightly glancing at her short sword on her waist before looking back at Ken.

The ghostly inhabitants of Hakugyokurou, Yuyuko and Youmu, are sitting on the veranda of the Hakurei Shrine watching Ken rock back and forth making seething and breathing noises. Having come to the Hakurei Shrine to try to fool Yukari to taking the poisoned wine, they were nevertheless outsmarted and decided to stay to see what's left of the banquet. Owing Ken from before, Youmu tried to shave off the blood from Ken's face with her sword. She managed to shave off the blood from around Ken's mouth, but not directly below his nose, since Youmu thought moving Ken's upper lip might wake him up. Youmu figured that was enough and returned to her mistress at the veranda, thinking about the next dinner she's going to cook for her mistress when the two go back.

"Ranny~, what's Ken doing~?" asked a childish and relaxed voice.

"He seems to be in pain, Chen" responded a mature voice.

"Hmph. It's only something purple on his skin, Ken's a baby" said Chen, narrowing her eyes at Ken, as her ears bent towards him.

The two servants of the Border Youkai, Ran and Chen Yakumo, sitting beside the ghostly companions on the veranda. After fruitlessly searching the shrine and its respective storehouse for Reimu's sake, they given up. Coming back to their mistress, they saw her battle and defeat the impetuous yet lazy shrine maiden of the Hakurei Shrine without direct assistance from them. Told to stay at the Hakurei Shrine for reasons unknown by their mistress, they at first tried to relax at the hot spring. Seeing the two seemingly dead bodies of Marisa and Alice in the spring, they decided to wait with the ghostly duo.

Chen looked restless, from trying to paw at the floating ghost half of Youmu, Myon, to attempting to sneak out of the shrine to terrorize the human village, which fortunately Ran caught her, there is nothing for her to do that could keep away her tireless boredom. It was like the most cruelest order Yukari ever gave Chen. Ran certainly didn't mind waiting, but she seemed to be reluctant starting a conversation with the ghostly duo, since she never really talked to them.

Above the two duos hang on a line clothes of a certain witch and a certain doll-user, dampened by the hot spring as it flows with the light breeze.

Inside the Hakurei Shrine are Reimu, Marisa, and Alice. Both Alice and Marisa are still unconscious, but they are now in futons in their undergarments. Their fingers and toes are very wrinkly from prolonged contact to water. It's weird how Reimu didn't bring Marisa in until Alice was there too, perhaps she was resting from her previous battle. The doll Shanghai is resting on top of Alice's stomach, the same spot she wanted to stay on to continue sleeping on.

Reimu is currently boiling a tea kettle with the flavor of grass in the shrine, with five cups on a plate beside it. Reimu looked very exhausted by how she simply slides her feet on the floor and her eyes half-open. Almost getting fried by her friend's master spark and suffering a relentless assault by the Border Youkai was not her cup of tea.

For some reason, Reimu has the smell of sweets, yet her back seemed arched strangely. Her posture was quite normal when she gave Ken a nosebleed.

Reimu sighs, seeing the tea kettle blow out its steam, saying to herself "I'm so tired...and it's all ruined."

Reimu grimaced before lethargically pouring the hot tea into the cups, occasionally spilling on the sides. Reimu didn't bother to wipe up the excess on the plate. She puts down the teapot, extinguishes the heating source, and carries the tea cups.

Sliding her feet through the Hakurei Shrine, she mindlessly steps over the futons in somewhat of a robotic fashion before she brings herself to a halt slowly before the paper door leading to the veranda in front of the courtyard. Putting her hand and leaning on the paper door for a few seconds, she musters the strength to pull it open.

She immediately looks with disdain at Ken who continually rocks back and forth and groans in pain, and then sighs, shaking her head.

Noticing Chen, Ran, Youmu, and Yuyuko glance at her, she begins to sit down the tea plate, having to go through so many motions to bend over and precisely place it on the ground without tipping it over.

Reimu then took a cup, then soon after her Ran, Yuyuko, and Youmu took one. Reluctantly, Chen took the last cup. Reimu walked up to beside Chen and slowly bent her knees, bringing herself lower to the ground. She soon sits down on the veranda beside Chen, being so exhausted that her posture shows this.

Ran eyed the ghostly duo carefully and how they drank their tea. She figures that in order to stop this awkward silence between the four of them, she must strike up a conversation somehow. Chen stared at her tea, taking one sniff of it only to be repulsed by it in the end.

Yuyuko and Youmu brought the tea cups to their nose and took one good whiff of the tea's steam before exhaling being seemingly synchronized. Ran raised her eyebrows in question at this strange behavior as they finally drank their tea.

Ran decides to do the same thing with her own cup, and brought it to her nose. She inhaled the steam through her nose, trying to replicate what the ghostly duo did. She narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out what inhaling in the steam through her nose is supposed to do before exhaling. Ran then takes a small sip.

Ran relishes in delight in the tea, noticing how she never tasted tea this good, while a grin grows on her face.

Noticing how everyone seems to be enjoying drinking their tea, Chen hastily brings the cup to her lips, having way more than a sip. Her eyes became wide-open, and her cheeks became red, before she spat out the tea via a raspberry. Chen did not like the taste of the tea, nor did she like how it scalded her tongue.

Reimu and Ran stared at Chen ominously, while Youmu and Yuyuko leered at her. Even Ken stopped in his eternal pain to see what was going on, feeling some water sprayed on his skin. Chen looked down at her cup, through her body language saying "I'm sorry."

Ken chuckles a little bit, remembering that he done the same thing way back then.

Reimu went back to staring at the sky while sipping her cup. "Why did Yukari had to be such a stupid youkai and take my sake?"

*Flashback*

About ten minutes ago, Reimu was panting heavily as she dodged the high speed objects with a blue trail coming at her. She still doesn't even notice the now multiple swastikas on her back while multiple glyphs were in the air shooting the objects at her. As each swastika flashed white one after another, Reimu has to relentlessly keep dodging them along with the assault Yukari was putting up.

Reimu was beginning to dodge more sloppily as she was not used to being attacked fiercely, especially by Yukari. A high speed object barely grazed her nose as she watched it whiz past by her.

Reimu's POV

I could feel my heart beating as I constantly moved my limbs to dodge the incoming objects. Every half a second I breathed, every other half I exhaled. Frustrated, I threw an ofuda at a glyph. As soon as the talisman hit the glyph, it makes it dissipate and go away, but it only reemerges into two.

(Why won't those glowing things in the air just go away?)

My limbs are wearing out by the second, as they feel much and much heavier every time I move them. I can't hold out for much longer.

(And why aren't you attacking me right now? Can't you see I'm having a hard time right now?)

(I can't attack her right now, I have to keep dodging these annoying things! And I'm too tired to teleport behind her.)

Yukari seems to be just standing there in front of me as she giggled. I took a few glances at her while constantly sidestepping and jumping back from the objects that just grazed my legs and my right cheek.

(How long are you going to just stand there and mock me!)

(That's it! I'm going to finish this! Let's see how she likes laughing at this! It's now or never!)

From my dress, I pulled out two spell cards, held with two fingers and one thumb. I made a weak grin at Yukari as she continued to stare at me smiling. My body feels like it's moving on its own to dodge the incoming high speed objects.

I planted down my first spell card on the ground very quickly after ducking and dodging the high speed objects aimed at my head, feeling it whizzing through my hair. Hastily, I declared "Divine Arts! Omnidirectional Demon Binding Circle!"

An orange glowing barrier rose up around me in a circle from the ground. It glows white at the bottom as the barrier successfully deflect away any high speed objects. As they pinged against my barrier, the high speed objects simply disappeared after a few seconds.

(Hmm? I never did took the time to notice that they disappear on their own. No wonder I didn't trip on anything on the ground.)

"Fufufu~, how cute. Reimu finally knows how to stop dodging those things" taunted Yukari at me, making me glow red on my face. My face wasn't red because I was embarrassed. It was because of anger, and I sent that feeling to her in my glare.

"Oh, Reimu looks angry~. Perhaps I should end this soon?" asked Yukari, jeering away at me.

(Oh you~! First Ken, now you are the last annoyance I want right now! You're going to BITE your words...and NOT like it.)

During the little time the barrier is up, I declared my other spell card, "Holy Relic! Yin-Yang Sanctifier Orb!"

I held my hands up in the air with my arms straight, as I felt a large sphere immediately fall into my hands. I smelt a sweet fragrance coming from above me, masking my smell.

(Taste the sweet smell of my balls! TASTE IT!)

Enraged and boosted by sudden energy, I hurled the Yin-Yang sphere towards Yukari as I momentarily watched it go past the barrier. However, the forward momentum by the ball made me stumble forward a bit, making me look towards the ground a little bit.

(Shoot! I almost fell into the barrier. That would be bad!)

I quickly regained my balance before looking upwards in hopes of seeing Yukari crushed by the ball.

And then there was none. There was no sign of Yukari. I frantically looked around in surprise. The ball was gone as well, that distinct sweet smell is nowhere to be seen, now masked by my own smell of the sweat under the sun from dodging those objects.

(What the...? Where did she go?)

I soon noticed the disappearance of those distinct pings of the high-speed objects that were headed towards me.

I sighed in relief, before dropping to the ground and breathing fast and heavy. I felt the absence of air where my neck meets the chest as I felt my chest rise and fall. My knees felt the cool courtyard tiles as I pressed my palms into the cool floor also, as the sweat dripped off my nose and eyebrows.

(I'm so tired...I'm so tired.)

(Damn it...she got away. I'm so hot, and this courtyard is so cool. I must...)

I collapsed into the floor, feeling my right cheek being cooled down. I felt myself being more relaxed, while breathing vigorously.

(Is the wine still here? She can't fight that well if...ah ha!)

On Ken's unconscious body and his puddle of blood, on top of his stomach was the reason I was fighting. The sake, seemingly untouched in its purity as it glistened with its white skin from the sun.

(Oh thank Hakurei...I won.)
I sighed in relief, accomplishing my mission of driving away Yukari from taking my wine.

It was then that a question struck me. I was puzzled since I know this should at least be my reward in return. But, why is it that I question it? My intuition is telling me to be more alert, but the allure of the ground was too strong for me and I didn't get up.

(Why is the ground so cold? Hasn't it been under the sun for a while? Why am I given this moment to rest? How come my chest doesn't feel the ground any...)

*End Flashback*

Reimu sighed, not liking the long day she endured. Again, her back seemed strangely misshapen, for her posture was slouching as she sat. She groaned as she placed a hand on her chest.

Yuyuko sighed along as well, despite the fake smile on her face. "Why did Yukari have to be so smart?"

Reimu glanced at her questionably, saying "she ruined my banquet."

In response, Yuyuko says "she ruined my plan."

"Lady Yuyuko, I'm pretty sure you knew she would find out" said Youmu, before taking a sip.

"Yes but, I was hoping for a long fight with her~. I ruined the cycle of fighting for wine" said Yuyuko morbidly, looking up at the sky, having a flashback. Chen and Ran had their tails perked up, eager to listen to the flashback while Ken raised his eyebrows at Yuyuko, thinking "WTF?"

*Flashback*

Yukari slid the door close to the Hakurei Shrine, now housing a recovering shrine maiden. She likes the new scent on Reimu, even if she forced it on her.

Yukari grinned in delight, holding up the Ginjoushu to her head and examining it carefully. She eagerly giggled in secret, something that people have never seen Yukari do.

Then Yukari simply tossed it in the air, her grin still in place. She opened a gap in the middle of its trajectory, as the gap's eyes carefully followed the path of the sake before it was gone.

Closing the gap, she sat on the edge of the veranda, and sighed in relief. The shrine maiden was a hard nut to crack for her, but then again, she was the only hard one to crack. She has never been this relentless before, or so she thinks.

Yukari looks around, trying to see if anyone is watching her. Nobody has seen Yukari fatigued, yet, and it wouldn't help if someone found the Border Youkai tired and tried to attack her in her seemingly defenseless state.

She looks over at Ken, the blood from the stomp has coagulated and dried in the sun on his face and on the puddle.

Concerned, Yukari was about to get up to help out Ken however she can. Seconds later, Yukari decided to let anyone who sees Ken take care of him, shrugging it off. Why do the dirty work when someone else can do it for you?

She figured that since Ran and Chen aren't doing anything useful, so she was about to call them when all of a sudden...

"Yukari~" yelled a certain whimsical voice.

Yukari groaned inaudibly, but then as usual, puts on her fake smile. It's not like her smile isn't genuine whenever she's around Yuyuko, but she couldn't be bothered with right now.

She straightens herself out and fans herself with her fan, as Yuyuko and Youmu come up the stairs. Youmu looked immediately repulsed by the sight of Ken, while Yuyuko ignored him and kept on walking forward. Youmu continued to glance at Ken as Yuyuko walked towards Yukari. Yuyuko held a sake in her hands, with a wry smile.

Yukari raised an eyebrow and looked at the sake. Was she offering it to her? Is it that easy? Yukari easily answered these questions while saying "Hello Yuyuko, you're quite early. And it looks like you have your sake."

Youmu's hands balled into fists for a second before relaxing them, remembering the anguish she had felt earlier.

"My, My" replied Yuyuko, as the two faced each other with their deceiving smiles. "You're always the early one aren't you? Did you persuade Reimu to allow you to attend this wonderful banquet?"

"I certainly did. It was quite troublesome but I managed to sway her" said Yukari.

"Then for your hard work, you deserve my sake. I heard about what you are doing and I thought I should give you a refreshing drink" said Yuyuko, holding out her sake towards Yukari.

Yukari looks at her in a relaxed manner, hiding her questionable outlook. How Yuyuko managed to keep such a straight face is without a doubt convincing, but Yukari is smarter than that.

Yukari pretends to play along and gracefully takes the wine. "Thank you so much. I needed this, you are so thoughtful of others, Yuyuko~"

"Ehehehe..." coyly laughs Yuyuko, although she begins to get a little nervous as Yukari pops the top off the sake.

Just beside Yukari's feet was a gap that recently opened. Yukari tipped the sake bottle to let the liquid pour into the gap.

Yuyuko looked, or perhaps pretended to look appalled, while Youmu began to get angry. Why would you waste such a gift in front of her mistress? Her hand was on her sword, ready to strike if necessary, but doing so may break the fragile material of the sake bottle.

As the last drop fell into the gap, Yukari closed it before holding the sake bottle upright, the top facing the sky.

"Yukari...how could you..." Yuyuko stopped when she's hears the sound of a bottle being refilled. Yukari grins as she shook the sake, making a sloshing sound as it gradually stopped. Youmu sighed, and looked at her mistress with an apathetic look, knowing her little masquerade has come to an end.

"Someday, Yuyuko, someday, when I grow tired of living~" said Yukari, before walking away with Yuyuko's sake.

"Ah, so you caught me...again" said Yuyuko, who is strangely still grinning before slowly turning towards Youmu. Her eyes began to emit tears as Youmu looks surprised.

"Mistress Yuyuko?" said Youmu in question, although the words seemed predictable and repeated, she slowly lifted her hands off the sword.

"Oh Youmu, I could never fool anyone" said Yuyuko, her voice audibly breaking up before falling into Youmu's arms, and silently crying.

"Oh no you couldn't fool anyone even if you tried" added Yukari in the background, which made Yuyuko cry even harder. Yukari was definitely not helping at all.

Youmu rolled her eyes and rubbed her Mistress's back, finding her own Mistress's endeavor ridiculous. "It's okay. It's okay."

*End Flashback*

Ken's POV

(Umm, what the hell? What in that flashback says anything about a fight?)

(Yuyuko wasn't even being aggressive. She needs to man up...wrong words.)

Chen looks like she's trying really hard to hold back her laughter. Her cheeks are puffed out and her left hand are on her mouth. She lets out a "kukuku" every now as she struggles to stifle her laugh. Youmu again leers at Chen, while sipping her tea.

Yuyuko was...weirdly in tears, probably because she remembers what Yukari added while she was crying. She continues looking up at the sky for no reason.

(Big deal. Yukari trolls everyone, but you act like you're the special one.)

(What the hell was in that wine anyway? Why would Yukari just put it back in the wine?)

(Is Yuyuko more sadistic than I thought? I thought she was just a moe-blob...who can invoke death at will.)

(Everyday I realize how sadistic can a touhou character be if they want to. First Meiling, now Yuyuko. Two unlikely people who can be sadistic...)

The pain on my leg has numbed from a sharp sting to a dull yet warm feeling. I took extra caution not to touch it as I slowly stood up, using my hands as support on the ground. However, it was very hard to bend my knee with the swollen bruise since it hurts like HELL. I ended up standing up on one leg and leaving my other leg straight and limp, trying to minimize any pain that could come from the leg.

(It was kinda weird how the ground was cold when the sun has been shining for a long while.)

(It's Gensokyo. It's crazier than the idea of a police force in Burnout Paradise.)

(Now how am I going to go around like...I could just float.)

I touched off about 3 inches off the ground, making it easier for me to get around with a crippled-like leg.

Reimu eyed me before saying "Go do something useful and clean up that mess you made in my courtyard."

(Huh? Shrine Maiden say what?)

"What mess?" I asked sarcastically.

Instead of pointing it out like a courteous person should, she instead throws a blue ofuda towards me from out of nowhere. I moved a little bit, letting it graze past my chest. Turning around, I see it struck the ground before a seemingly dried blood puddle. I heard a distinct groan from Reimu

Overhearing Yuyuko saying to Youmu that she missed another spot, I rolled my eyes and looked at Reimu. "Uhh Reimu? I don't think a broom would-"

"Scrape it off. Are you stupid? You can't just brush it off" barked Reimu in response, before groaning again.

(What's with that groaning? You got problems...)

"With what?"

Reimu facepalms before saying "the blue talisman I just threw at you. Oh you're so stupid..."

(Hey don't get an attitude at me miko. I'm crippled, I'm supposed to get special privileges...like being able to sit in the middle of the street or kicking open women bathroom stalls.)

I threw Reimu an angry glare before turning towards the talisman. The last time I looked at her, she was staring at something in the sky.

(She don't look like much right now...then again, she never does.)

I reached out with my hand, about to pick up the card as I leaned in with my chest.

(Come on...don't make me have to get back on the ground just to get-)

All of a sudden, the ground before me suddenly erupted in smoke as it was like an asteroid just hit. I immediately fell back as I landed on my back, repulsed by the immediate shock.

(What the? What the hell is going on? Why is there smoke?)

I elevated my upper body just to see a smoke pillar, with rubble scattering all over the place. As the smoke was slowly dissipating, I discerned a human shape in it.

(Who's that? Is there a viking in Gensokyo...)

(Wait..)

I strained my eyes, trying to discern horn shapes on the head.

(Who the hell could it..)

The human shape quickly flew out of the smoke. With a smoke wisp following in its momentum, it struck the ground very close to my man jewels with my legs spread out. I looked in shock to see a girl who stunk of alcohol. A girl with knee length light brown hair done up in a ponytail in a tattered pink blouse and a long, purple skirt. Her horns stuck out from her head as she was adorned with chain accessories and ribbons. Her eyes were covered in a white blindfold. The fist she hit the ground with made cracks and made little pieces chip off.

(Oh fuck! It's fast!)

"YUKARI~!" boomed the girl with a menacing yet girlish voice, facing me directly in the face. Her breath literally blasted up my nose, making my eyes water from the overpowering smell of alcohol.

As my vision of seeing the girl blurred due to my watery eyes, I began to think. And as I conclude who the unknown girl is, I had an overwhelming feeling of dread.

(Oh shit...Suika...she almost got my balls too...oh shit.)

This chapter originally intended to be a very long one. But I decided to release a part two soon.
Enjoy! Review and Comment please! Even if you're just a lurker~