By the time the Buttershaw clan arrived from Halifax, Nicola and Caroline had the language and appearance of avoidance down pat. They had worked awkwardly in tandem on the meal with the Christmas music cranked up so that the silence between them was less noticeable. Nicola was particularly relieved to have the others in the house as she felt the need to have a buffer; the stress was killing her as she was certain she wasn't going to be able to salvage anything good with Caroline anytime soon.

They sailed through the festivities and managed to be breezy and light with everyone. Celia perceived Caroline being somewhat distant from the celebration but figured she was consumed with her memories of Kate last Christmas Eve. In reality, all Caroline was thinking about was the position at the foundation.

After the raucous and especially boozy celebration dinner, Caroline was relieved Gillian and her family had planned to stay over at 46 Conway Drive as none of them were in any condition to drive home.

As soon as everyone was tucked in for the night, in the wee hours of Christmas morning, a very tired Caroline and an equally spent Nicola silently made their way back upstairs to turn in. Caroline gently closed the bedroom door and as she turned back to face the bedroom, she found Nicola poised to look her square in the eyes for the first time since they discussed Angela's text.

"I am sorry about this morning. I could really use a hug right about now, Caroline. How about you?" She was trying to gauge how icy the bed was going to be and decided that was a better tact to take than offering to go sleep on floor in Flora's room; she was afraid Caroline would take her up on that offer.

"Honestly, I don't know what I need but I'll start with a hug." As they stepped toward each other, Caroline started to cry. Nicola silently held her until her sobs subsided. "Sorry. I don't want to cry but I've been holding that in all day." Caroline pulled away from her to reach for a tissue and then sat on the corner of the bed.

"It's okay. Talk to me. Tell me what to do."

"You're doing it. Sorry I had no words all day but it was a lot to process. I haven't really thought about much else. I decided you were right to wait to talk to me about it. Had we discussed it before I found Kate's the letter I'm not sure I would have been able to consider it."

"And now?" Nicola tried to keep the excitement out of her voice, which wasn't difficult as she was both mentally and physically exhausted.

"I think we should discuss it when we're not rushed off our feet with company. We also need to connect with Angela so I can thank her for the opportunity and get more details."

"Does that mean you're interested in it?" Nicola felt her heart skip a beat and she dared to smile for the first time in hours.

Caroline held her hand out to Nicola who had moved to stand in front of her. She took Caroline's and instantly squeezed it. "Yes. Even though there is a lot to consider, this feels like it could be the type of change I've been looking for," she replied while not breaking eye contact. "Of course the position has to be something that makes sense for me as a career move and then I have to sort out Lawrence and Greg, but I think those issues won't be insurmountable. The added bonus is that it could be a wonderful solution to our geographic challenges."

"I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear you'll even consider it." Caroline could see the relief in her steel blue eyes. Her own crinkled as she smiled as she wiped an errant tear from Nicola's cheek.

"I realized at one point today that you have been very patient about all I've had to process with Kate and Flora and everything. I also realized that you showed restraint not mentioning the Foundation job when I told you about Kate's letter. A selfish person would have tried to take advantage of that but not you."

Nicola chuckled for a bit and then replied, "I honestly thought about it but then thought better of it. What I realized today is that although I have been as patient at every turn as I could be, maybe that wasn't fair to either of us. I can't be afraid to tell you how I feel and to ask you for what I need, even if that means I'm not always as patient as I should be."

"I actually thought about that today as well. If this is going to work, we have to be able to talk about everything, especially your needs." Nicola was now sitting beside her on the bed.

"Pat did such a number on my head about how I wasn't supportive enough during our relationship that I didn't want to make that same mistake with you so I guess I've been over-compensating. I know deep down that she played me into feeling guilty to deflect her own guilt for running around on me. She really was that manipulative."

Caroline responded first with a chaste kiss and then said, "I'm sorry about Pat. John did a lot of the same to me so I understand. It's just that you always seemed so focused on my needs that I'm afraid I've been inadvertently overlooking yours and I'm sorry. I thought I was doing a better job of it than I did with Kate but I guess I still need to work on it."

Before Nicola could respond that she loved her, imperfections and all, Caroline continued, "It dawned on me today that I built you up in my brain as being just perfect and suddenly, after that text, I noticed some tarnish on your halo and it spooked me. But as I had time to process it all a bit, I realized I was relieved to see that tarnish. Frankly, it's about time."

"Ha. All this time I was worried that you remembered Kate as flawless and I worried I'd never measure up," Nicola admitted.

"I hate to break it to you pal, but neither of us are perfect. How about if the only things we demand be perfect going forward are our manhattans and our martinis?" Caroline leaned in for a kiss but pulled back just before making contact. "And add our kisses."