That last chapter, huh? Wasn't that something? Well, where do we go from here? Let's find out!

Before we get to the review replies, I do want to recognize our latest milestone reviewer, YOPS's 600th reviewer! Holy crap! 600 reviews! I never thought I'd ever publish a story that got so much recognition from fans! Thank you, everyone! You are all awesome! Congratulations Faith-x for posting the 600th review!

As can be expected, there was a record number of reviews for the last chapter (34 reviews just for chapter 44!). To save time and space, only anonymous reviews will be answered here. If you reviewed with your account, you know the drill. Check your PMs!

Review Replies:

zzzeus11 (anonymous): The biggest cliffhanger in the universe? That's quite a title! Here's the next chapter!

BTMFTW1 (anonymous): Thanks! I'm glad that my story inspires you (and I'm sure your writing is fine! Haha.). Enjoy the new chapter!

Guest (anonymous): Yeah…finally. Haha.

Hoof Hearted (anonymous): Yeah…looks like. Let's see what Astrid does now that she knows the truth about Hanson…and Hiccup.

HiccstridShipper (anonymous): I know this wasn't very fast, but I had to finish off the school year…and work at my other job.

Guest (anonymous): Hey, Foxmorgorth, good to hear from you! I understand about not wanting to log in to review. I've done that before. Haha. He sure is busted! Let's see know what Astrid does to him!

Aiacco (anonymous): Yes! Finally! I could see both scenarios working out nicely, but I have had this chapter planned out for quite some time now…and I think you'll like it. Hopefully this update didn't take ages. Haha. Also, she could meet with Valka, sure, but I didn't really want to make the therapy sessions a huge part of the plot because that'd be kinda boring.

Guest (anonymous): Thanks! I actually quite liked the cliffhanger too…and I'm super picky about my own writing.

Psp reader (anonymous): Yeah…I try to aim to keep my chapters between 1,000 and 2,000 words (chapter content only). Just because that allows me to get them posted sooner. Oh, yes, there will definitely be repercussions! It's going to be awesome! Haha.

Noctus Fury (anonymous): Well…let's see how Hiccup handles this situation…and if he can come away unscathed.

Red-Knight (anonymous): Good question! If I had to take a rough guess, probably about ten chapters or so left in the story. Obviously, this reveal last chapter was what most of the story was building to…so…I do have a few things left to write into the story to tie up loose ends, but the end is coming sooner than we'd all like to believe.


Chapter 45: Why Didn't You Tell Me?

Moment of truth. It's now or never. Here goes. Astrid silently took in a breath as she tapped Hiccup's phone number and waited. She placed the phone up to her ear and listened to it ring. The phone rang twice before Hiccup answered. Keeping her eyes locked on Hanson, she watched him bring his own phone to his ear and say the exact same words that she heard across her own phone and directly into her ear.

"Hey, Astrid."

Astrid said nothing in reply. Without taking her phone from her ear, she stepped out from behind the pillar that had served as her hiding space. As if sensing her presence, Hanson…no, Hiccup turned around and Astrid imagined that her own expression mirrored his. Astrid could see the shock on Hiccup's face before that shock turned into…what was it? Fear? Nervousness? That's right, he should be scared!

Ending the call, Astrid stuffed her iPhone back into her pocket and took a deep breath. A very brief reprieve, the calm before the storm. "Why didn't you tell me, Hanson?" she asked him, her voice loud and with an emphasis on Hiccup's real name. "You thought I wouldn't figure it out if you didn't speak? Do you think I'm that stupid?"

Hiccup stuffed his own Android phone into his pocket and calmly tried to answer Astrid's questions. "I'm…I'm sorry, Astrid. I don't think you're stupid at all. You're actually really smart. It's just…I didn't…"

Angered, Astrid interrupted Hiccup before he could finish his reply. "Don't even tell me that you didn't know who I was…that you hadn't already figured it out. Seriously, how many other students are named 'Astrid'? It was pretty obvious and you just…" she growled in frustration, not even bothering to finish her statement.

"I'm sorry," Hiccup answered, looking down. "I didn't know how to tell you who I was."

"I don't even care anymore!" Astrid's voice, though still loud, turned cold.

"Uh…Astrid, people are staring. Why don't we go discuss this somewhere more…private?" Hiccup offered.

"No. I think we're done here. Just leave me alone."

"But…what about…" he began before changing his words, "we were supposed to meet up and work on our English project today?" Hiccup's statement came out sounding more like a question, unsure if they would still be working in the library as originally planned.

Astrid had started to walk away, but she stopped to answer. Without turning to face her partner, over her shoulder, Astrid answered, "I think it's best if we just work alone on the project for now." Her voice was flat, without emotion. "Later when it comes time to create the visual aid and practice the presentation, I'll get in touch. Don't contact me until then."

Without another word, Astrid turned and walked away from Hiccup. As she walked back to Borg Hall, she couldn't help but to think of all that had just happened. Had there been any signs that Hiccup and Hanson could be the same person? If there had been signs, how had she missed them? Could this encounter have been prevented? Was there any way that she could have figured out the truth without feeling so…betrayed?

It was inevitable that she would have to meet up with Hanson again; they still had to finish their project. Now though, Astrid realized, I'm looking forward to that meet-up even less than I was looking forward to today's meet-up…and my enthusiasm for that was already practically non-existent. Why did it have to end up this way? Out of all the other students in class that I could have been paired up with, why'd it have to be…?

When she arrived back to Borg Hall, Astrid silently and immediately made her way back to her dorm. She let herself in and was relieved to see that Heather was not there. Good. She didn't want her roommate noising into her business.

Locking herself in her bedroom, Astrid plopped down onto her bed and stared at the ceiling for a full minute before pulling her iPhone from the pocket where she'd stuffed it. She clicked the on button once and her wallpaper appeared. No new notifications. She just stared for a moment at her wallpaper. It was a picture that had always made her happy. The picture had been taken when she was young, only three or four years old. It had been a summer day. Her blonde hair was pulled back into pigtails. She wore a small bikini. In the picture, she was seated in one of those baby pools and her parents were nearby, just on the outside of the pool. Young Astrid was smiling, a gap-toothed, pre-braces smile as she splashed water at her parents.

Astrid's eyes fell upon her parents' faces. Both of them were laughing and it looked so genuine. It was genuine, she knew. Back then, her mother didn't strive for perfection. It wasn't all about honoring the family name and becoming "the perfect family". Back then, her mother had truly cared for her daughter and everything was perfect. What had happened? Why had it all ever changed?

Unlocking her iPhone, Astrid tapped the text messaging icon and the app opened. At the top of the list of received text messages, she saw her conversation with Hiccup. Again she read his last message and, for just a moment, she was tempted to open the conversation and write a reply. She almost did, but she was stopped by the uncertainty. What could she even say to him now? Now that she knew…everything.

In the end, the uncertainty won. Astrid closed out of the text messaging app and set her phone on her nightstand. As she did, Astrid's hand brushed across something. She picked it up and examined it. Her razor. That's right. She always kept it there, nearby, just in case. Was now one of those "just in case" moments?

Astrid brought the razor closer, touching the blade to her skin. It was just a touch, not even enough to slice through the outer layer of skin. Everything weighed upon her. The stress of being her mother's perfect daughter. Finding out Hiccup's true identity. Remembrance of happier times. It was all too much.

She pressed the blade a little harder. Still not enough to break the skin. Just enough to trigger a slight pain reaction. The pressure of her imperfect life was suffocating. Astrid couldn't escape.

Wait, a voice in her head rang out loud and clear, halting Astrid before she could slide her razor. This isn't what Hiccup would want you to do, the voice told her.

Who cares what Hiccup would want? Astrid silently yelled back to the voice of reason within her head. He lied to me.

He didn't lie, the voice of reason spoke again.

Well, he didn't tell me the truth, Astrid yelled back within her head. She could not believe that she was having an argument with…herself…inside her head. Did that make her crazy? So, that's practically a lie. Astrid really hated that voice of reason. Why did it always have to be so…right?

The battle in her head raged for another minute. Astrid could feel that part of her was ready to just let the razor take its wrath out on her already-scarred skin. However, the other part of her still fought back, insisting that she didn't need to let the razor wreak its havoc upon her arm. That was the part of her that eventually won out. Astrid let go of the razor and it clattered down onto the carpeted floor of her bedroom. She stared down at it but made no move to pick it back up again.

Finally Astrid decided to just work on her part of the English project. I just need to get this project finished so that I never have to worry about dealing with Hiccup again.


Well…I'm interested now. Anyone guess that this is how Astrid would react to learning the truth? I know it wasn't all that good; I thought I had it planned out better in my head, but oh well. What's done is done and this is how it's going to play out.

Thank you all for reading and supporting Your Own Personal Savior!

Posted: June 10, 2016